A Monster That Cannot Pray

Gurgle—!

Perhaps because I had been chased since morning. While holding my stomach that had been gurgling for food with my four arms.

“…Those damn bastards could at least give me time to eat before chasing me around.”

Recalling how last night, wealthy merchants had rented out the largest tavern in the city and held a grand feast.

Feeling regretful about today’s daily rations that I couldn’t even properly touch.

“Ah— I wonder if some meat won’t fall from the sky—”

It was the moment I unconsciously grumbled towards the sky, even though I knew better than anyone that such a thing wouldn’t happen.

“What’s this, are you hungry, little one?”

“Who are you calling little… hup!”

As I turned my head in annoyance at the sudden sly male voice,

“Is there any other little one here besides you? Huh? What’s this, why are your eyes closed?”

“Th-that’s… I have my reasons…”

Hurriedly bowing my head lest the cross pattern engraved in my eyes be discovered,

I lightly scanned the other person’s appearance with my eyes barely open.

‘…A priest?’

A height so tall that my current height wouldn’t even reach his chest… probably easily over 180cm.

On top of that, a sleek body with muscles so prominent they couldn’t be hidden even in the loose priest’s robe.

Unkempt ash-gray hair covering his eyes, and a stubbly beard that looked roughly cut.

The man, who looked to be in his mid to late 30s, would look like the perfect delinquent priest if he had a cigarette in his mouth.

Giving off a faint smell of alcohol, he took out a large piece of bread from the bundle he was carrying in his arms.

“Here. If you’re hungry, eat this at least.”

“Wh-what…?”

As he suddenly handed it to me saying that,

“What’s this all of a sudden…”

I pretended not to see and slightly looked around… trying to prepare for the possibility that this man might have bad intentions towards me.

“Hey, stop pretending you can’t see and just take it while I’m offering.”

“……”

The man threatened that if I didn’t take it right away, he’d flick my forehead.

“Thank… you.”

Yeah. It’s not that I took it because I was scared. I took it because I was hungry.

“That’s right. What a polite little one you are.”

Right after, pat- pat-.

At the touch of a hand patting my head, which had approached silently in an instant.

“Heek!”

Despite being on guard, I looked at the man’s shoes that had approached silently—leather boots that clearly had metal plates attached.

“Someone might think I’m hitting you. Relax your body.”

“Hiik…!”

I hugged the bread I had received with my two arms outside my clothes so tightly it might crumble.

Thinking that this man in front of me, who had approached silently avoiding my senses that had been honed by avoiding people for a year while wearing such shoes, couldn’t possibly be an ordinary person.

Without realizing it, I swallowed my breath like a scared child.

‘Surely, he’ll think I’m suspicious…!’

As I glanced at the ash-haired priest who was silently looking at me like that,

“Well, what an interesting fellow with every reaction… hmm.”

The priest smiled sadistically, stroking his chin with one hand.

“I― like it.”

Soon after, as if he had understood something on his own, he nodded.

“Little one. You don’t have anywhere to go anyway, right?”

He suddenly started asking me, saying it’s one flick on the forehead for each lie.

“Yes…”

Although my body had become that of a small girl, I thought I wouldn’t be scared by threats of flicking my forehead no matter what, but.

Seeing those taut muscles, commonly called practical compressed muscles, visible between the sleeves of the priest who was lightly holding that bundle that was clearly heavy at a glance…

Honestly, I was scared.

“If you’re okay with it, I’m thinking of setting up a place for you in that city ahead—Yulentina.”

And—was it because this was the first time I had something close to a conversation with another person since becoming this body?

Or—was it because for the first time in a year, I had gotten my hands on food that felt warm?

Forgetting even the fact that I should be more wary of this type of person,

“R-really?”

I asked the priest with eyes full of expectation, like an innocent child.

“Of course. Well… on the condition that you don’t harm people, that is.”

At the priest’s voice that opened again with a gentle smile right after,

“I’m getting tired of just watching, so I’m thinking of keeping you nearby to monitor you.”

Only then could I realize the identity of the priest in front of me.

“You understand now, don’t you? Little monster.”

A being like the benefactor I met a year ago.

He was clearly a church Executioner—someone who professionally hunts things like me.

“…Gulp.”

* * *

I first learned about it… when a heartless junior who hadn’t contacted me even once since I retired suddenly came to visit and poured out his complaints to me.

-Senior. Please listen to my sins.

Normally, I would have been annoyed, saying what kind of confession is this to a pseudo-priest like me, telling him to go to a proper priest at the headquarters if he wanted to confess.

-Is what I’m doing really the right thing?

Seeing my junior, who had never shown signs of wavering before, doubting his faith.

In the end, I reluctantly listened to his confession in the confessional of the church I was managing.

-I… could no longer see that beautiful girl with white hair and golden eyes as a monster.

In the process, I learned about it—something somewhat different from the monsters we had hunted so far… something that acted almost like a human.

-So, I told that girl the direction to Yulentina, and I’d like you to see and judge for yourself, senior. This is a request I can only make to you, the ‘Extinguished Ash’.

Additionally, as if that had been his goal from the start, I flicked the forehead of my junior who smiled slyly unlike himself while making the request.

With the intention of just catching and eliminating it regardless of my junior’s request if necessary, I started monitoring it, and a year has already passed.

Like my junior, I couldn’t come to a conclusion and kept going back and forth to the city where it was hiding to monitor it.

As my junior said… unlike other monsters, it seemed to understand emotions and its own situation. Seeing the monster hiding its arms and eyes, avoiding people and eating garbage.

In the end, for the first time—I ended up offering bread instead of a weapon to a monster.

“…Gulp.”

Perhaps it thought it had hidden its identity well.

Realizing that its identity had been discovered, the monster stopped even pretending to close its eyes and observing through slits.

“P-please… please spare me…!”

With a trembling body, blinking its wide-open eyes, it started begging me while tightly hugging the bread in its arms to the point of crumbling.

Was it because the monster had the appearance of a young girl?

-Father… please spare me… I… don’t want to die…!

Suddenly, a memory I thought I had forgotten came to mind.

“…Stop!”

To stop the unpleasant flashback that was instantly driving away the effects of alcohol.

I shouted as if reminding myself, but.

“Kuk, kuhuk…!”

Faster than that, my hand was already choking the child’s neck.

…This is the worst.

After approaching first, to suddenly choke her even if it’s because of trauma.

“Kek, kek…!”

“…I’m sorry.”

So, as I hurriedly withdrew my hand that had been gripping her neck and carefully approached the child who had fallen and was gasping for breath….

“Ah, are you not going to kill me…?”

The child, rather than the fact that her life had been threatened without any particular reason,

Just looked up at me with a happy face as if she had gained confidence that she wouldn’t die now.

“……”

She was more abnormal than I thought.

“You, what’s your name?”

Hurriedly changing the subject, thinking it might be dangerous to leave her like this.

“Name… name?”

“Don’t you have one?”

“…It’s not that I don’t have one.”

As if understanding that she wouldn’t die, she even started speaking casually while tilting her head.

“It might be a bit strange name here…”

“It doesn’t matter, just say it.”

“…Kim҈̢̮̬̘̰̣͐̆͌̽̐͡Hyun҈̢̫̟̤̲̟҇̌̓̌jin.”

Right after, as if water had been filled in my ears, there was a crackling sound and the voice became distorted.

“Huh? What’s this, why is it like this. Hyun҈̢̫̟̤̲̟҇̌̓̌jin? Kim҈̢̮̬̘̰̣͐̆͌̽̐͡Hyun҈̢̫̟̤̲̟҇̌̓̌jin!”

“……”

Apparently, it wasn’t just me. Rather, seeing her looking more confused after pronouncing her own name, it seemed there was some problem, so.

“Well, that really is a strange name.”

“No, I mean… this isn’t right!”

Deciding to look into the phenomenon that had just occurred later, after teasing her a bit.

“Hmm….”

I couldn’t keep calling her ‘hey’, ‘you’, ‘little one’, or ‘monster’ forever even after entering the city.

-Father! When I grow up, I’ll definitely… with you…!

Since an old memory had come up anyway,

“—Frey.”

“…?”

“Your name. Let’s make it Frey. Don’t you like it?”

I decided to give a name that could remind me of a past moment to this monster who resembled a flower that couldn’t fully bloom.

“Frey (Pray)….”

The kid—Frey, perhaps unhappy that I had decided on a name without her consent, frowned for a moment.

“…Well, it’s not bad.”

Soon after, as if she had no choice, she nodded.

“Then, what’s your name, mister?”

Now completely dropping honorifics, unlike before, she started eating the bread I had given her with a bright smile.

“Bernard. People who know me call me Ban… call me whichever you prefer.”