Academy’s Drunk Fighter

The clash of Yoon Siwoo’s sword came down at a speed so fast it was barely visible to the eye.
BOOOOOM!!

"Ugh...!"
But through the exploding smoke and the scattering dust, what appeared first was Professor Philia’s hand, gripping the sword.
Without panic, Yoon Siwoo twisted his body midair, escaping the hold with a swift side kick—and in an instant, he vanished from my sight.

Then he reappeared—directly behind the professor.
Yet somehow, despite the cloth wrapped around her eyes, she sensed it. Her arm moved, tucking the sword under her armpit before striking.
THWACK!!

It was such a simple, ordinary motion, yet the sound that rang out was something no human body should be able to produce.
Still, he didn’t give up.
Again and again, Yoon Siwoo read the professor’s movements, creating openings, exploiting every blind spot where she couldn’t immediately counter based on body angles.

CRACK CRACK CRACK.
He failed multiple times—but his speed was steadily increasing, and I couldn’t help but be impressed.
Maybe no one knew whether that was Yoon Siwoo’s true strength, but right now, the two of them were fighting at a level completely beyond my reach.

At first, the sheer force of their battle had shattered the training room walls...
But afterward, there were only faint gusts of wind swirling within the radius of their fight.
Which meant both of them were precisely controlling their strength: enough to avoid damaging the surroundings, but still fighting with nearly full power.
Well... Professor Philia didn’t seem to be going full power, honestly.

Truthfully, the idea that Yoon Siwoo could win this was absurd from the start.
No matter how talented, no matter how many rare traits you had, a first-year beating someone like Professor Philia just wasn’t possible.
There had even been experiments about this in the past.

 
[SYSTEM MESSAGE]
Character: Professor Philia – Stat Evaluation
Strength: SSS
Speed: SSS

Mental Strength: S
Intelligence: A
Mana: F

Total Stamina: 1,600,000
Basic Attack Power: 390,000
Experiment: Simulating what traits a first-year student would need to beat this character.

 
[First Attempt]
Traits: [Heavenly Dancer’s Body (S)], [Adaptability (SS)], [Late Bloomer (S)]

Curses: [Madness (E)], [Red Curse (F)]
Result:
Decent close-quarters fight, but defeated in 1 minute 21 seconds.
After five retries, survival time extended to 2 minutes 11 seconds. Further improvement deemed impossible.

 
[Second Attempt]
Traits: [Blessing of Luck (S)], [Precognition (SSS)], [Walker of Mana’s Path (SS)], [Magic King (S)]

Curses: [Star of Death (F)], [The Lamb Clinging to Doomsday (F)], [Terminal Illness (E)]
Result:
Defense-focused magic lasted 5 minutes.
However, switching even a single spell to offense led to defeat in less than a minute.
Confirmed after ten trials.

 
[Third Attempt]
Traits: [Way of the Killer (S)], [Unity of Sword and Body (S)], [Weakness Perception (A)], [Monarch of All Cures (S)], [Blessing of the Mountain Lord (A)], [Master of Weapons (S)], [Legend of Weapons (SS)], [Myth of Weapons (SSS)]

Curses: [Deleted (FFF)]
Result:
Exceptional performance, survived for 7 minutes.
Inflicted around 10,000 damage.
However, instantly defeated once Philia’s ‘Preheating Phase’ began at 8 minutes.
After 23 tests, victory determined impossible.

[Fourth Attempt]
[Fifth Attempt]
[Sixth Attempt]
[Seventh Attempt]
(And so on...)
 
In no scenario could a first-year student’s stats beat Professor Philia.

She didn’t possess overwhelming traits or fancy skills.
She simply crushed opponents through sheer physical ⊛ Nоvеlιght ⊛ (Read the full story) scale—a natural-born overwhelming force.
Her physical stats alone measured at SSS across the board.
To beat her with first-year stats, you would need at least three SSS-level traits.

But you couldn’t just slap traits onto a character.
You’d have to strap on three—or more—of the worst curses imaginable to even get close.
Even then, it was still deemed impossible.

If she ever went all out, the only one who could possibly stop her in this academy was the headmaster.
Not that I was sure you could even call that thing a person. Anyway.
So for Yoon Siwoo to hold his own this long against her—even while she was holding back—was ridiculously impressive.

Whatever traits he had, they had to be absurdly powerful.
Because against a born monster like Philia, normal traits wouldn't even matter.
BOOOOOM!!!
Again, Professor Philia’s fist sent Yoon Siwoo flying across the room.

He staggered back up, clutching his stomach.
"Khack...!"
The liquid pooling beneath him—whether it was sweat or spit—poured down like rain.

Come to think of it, back when I fought her, she had been treating me like a joke too.
The fear I felt back then returned, crawling up my spine.
Maybe even the pressure I remembered wasn’t her true killing intent—maybe even that had just been a casual punch.

And yet back then, I had thought about giving up an arm to survive against her.
God, I really was insane, wasn’t I?
"Yeah... first-years just aren’t ready yet."

Philia casually flexed her hands and pulled off the cloth covering her eyes—and in doing so, her gaze accidentally locked with mine.
I immediately felt danger. I carefully tried to close the door and sneak away, but—
"Hey, Yoon Siwoo. Want to spar with someone else for a bit?"

And just like that, Yoon Siwoo’s battered gaze found mine too.
"Hiccup!"
"E-Esha?"
No. No, don’t look at me.

It’s already bad enough that my body hurts like hell without my control bracelet.
I was supposed to get treated at a hospital, but I couldn’t use the Academy’s medical wing.
I had to either wait for my bracelet to come out or pay an insane amount of money at a normal hospital.
In short, I hadn't gotten proper treatment yet.

On top of that, my body was stiff as hell after waking up from a bad sleep—
"You can do it, right? Esha?"
"Ah... ahaha..."

But I couldn’t say no...!
Watching Professor Philia flash a cheerful smile at me, I chewed over my miserable reality.
Yoon Siwoo's fight with her had been awkward from the start, long before they even crossed swords...
But coming up with a clever excuse to dodge this battle?
Yeah, my brain just wasn’t good enough for that.

There was no way a human body analyzer like her wouldn’t notice my condition.
Maybe she couldn't see what wasn’t on the surface, but if she thought I was standing here, then she must have judged I could fight.
And if I showed any weirdness now...
She might start asking questions about my injuries.

Finding out about my ties with the Bishop would be like finding a needle in a desert, sure—
But the real problem was Yoon Siwoo.
If only my hair color and height were a little more normal, I could’ve been mistaken for someone else.
But with this tiny body and white hair?
I was the only one in the Academy who looked like this.
"Of course... I can do it..."

Still, there was one silver lining—
Yoon Siwoo looked pretty drained after his match with Professor Philia.
Maybe, just maybe, this was a chance to figure out what traits he had.
I swallowed my disgust and decided to go through with the sparring.
"Esha. Back then, you—"
"Please don’t talk. Let’s focus, shall we?"

"...."
He tried to bring something up, but I immediately shut it down.
Things getting complicated would be a nightmare.

From what I could tell—since the Doomsday Followers hadn’t sent me any messages about Yoon Siwoo yet—he probably wasn’t one of them.
Still, even if I ended up playing spy among the Followers, I couldn’t let any professors find out.
Who knew how many of them already had moles planted among them?

The main villains were consistent, but their helpers changed every cycle.
You couldn’t trust anyone too easily.
"Got it. Then... after this fight, if you win—talk to me. Just once."
"...Fine."

Professor Philia was standing right there, watching us, and this guy just kept running his mouth.
I agreed just to shut him up before we both got into trouble.
It’s fine.
He’s exhausted anyway.
And lucky me, I still had a few chocolates left.
"It’s been a while since I watched you spar like this. You remember the rules, right? I don’t care, but you two aren’t allowed to kill each other."

"Yes."
"Y-Yeah, I know..."
Yeah.
I just needed to win.
Then this cursed conversation would never have to happen.

"Then—begin."
Crack.
The moment I heard that sound, I popped a chocolate into my mouth.

Before the alcohol even had a chance to spread—
A blindingly fast thrust came flying straight at my shoulder.
[Current Intoxication: 4%]

The alcohol hadn’t kicked in fully yet—it would take a little more time to climb higher.
But if I could just get it to 10%...
Maybe I could really win this.

With that thought, I began dodging Yoon Siwoo’s attacks carefully and methodically.
No matter how much stamina he had, no way he could move perfectly after getting beat down by Philia like that.
'...Or so I thought.'

"Celestial Blossom Fall."
"...Oh."
What unfolded before my eyes was a whirlwind of sword strikes, moving at monstrous speed.

This wasn’t some cheap wuxia novel—
What the hell was this?
As his speed kept increasing, the afterimages scattered like falling flower petals.
It was exactly that feeling—
The way a bungee jump looks harmless from the ground...
But terrifying the moment you're standing on the edge.

"Euuuuuugh!!!"
And thus began my desperate evasion for survival.