All the Stars are Against You

I've been told over and over that the United Humanities is out in the space boonies. Until today, I never fully understood what that meant. The Union has over a thousand major stations, just under eight thousand medium stations, and more minor stations than I care to remember across all its territory and beyond. Yet the closest one to where I live is a whole week of continuous travel away. And that's using these fancy Union Jump drives. The ones in my piece of junk frigate would take five times as long to get there. 

Not like this beauty. A Nightingale-Class VIP Courier. Now this is what I call riding in style. It's a fifth the size of my frigate, about eighty meters tip to tail, but it feels like it has three times the space. Of course, that's probably because most of that space is just for me. Like a flying high end hotel. I've got six spacious rooms all to myself, bed and clothes all feels like silk, though I'm sure it's something even more expensive, a mini sauna to bathe, kitchen is fully automated and stocked with Human luxury foods, a decent gym with equipment I'm still learning how to use, a full entertainment center stocked with music, games and holo vids, and a deck just for observing the stars, so close you can almost smell outer space. I really hope I can afford one of these for myself one day.

Only problem is the loneliness. Nobody was allowed to know I was leaving. I haven't seen another living being this entire time. There is easily enough space for four or five people yet I'm stuck alone. Nobody was allowed to know where I was going. Total media blackout. Bet the news stations are all abuzz about loosing their new favorite fluff piece. I'm sure there's a pilot for this rig, but I haven't seen nor heard from them all this time.

"Attention, this is your captain speaking."

So he does exist.

"We are starting our approach. Be ready to disembark as soon as we land. And good luck on your examination."

Watching from the observation, the gravity of this situation starts to hit me. The station is a smaller one by Union standards, which still means it can rival the largest Human stations in sheer bulk. It looks to be a Triterroran design. You can always tell because they are so obsessed with threes. As such it's like a triangular pillar floating in space. My ship must be less then a kilometer from it and approaching, yet its visage is blurred. Stealth systems are probably the most cutting edge in all the Union. Bet a whole United Humanities Armada could fire at it with a full salvo and not land a single hit.

Leaving my home of the last week, I can see many more ships much like it filling the hanger. There must be a hundred others vying for the same job and only one gets it. I see races that humanity doesn't even have a name for. Competition is steep. Good. Faster I lose, the faster I can go home.

Looks like I'm just in time for the opening speeches. Each of the five Greater Union members are going to say their piece. There are four levels to Union membership. At the absolute top are the Greater Races of which there are only five. Below them are the Major Races. Each one a power in their own right contributing to the Galactic Union. Even the weakest of them is worth a dozen Lesser races or more. That's where Humanity is at. Most races are Lesser races. Only requirements are being alive, being a Union Member and having at least one ship that can reach the minimum FTL speed. Then there are the Dependents, who only get food and medical supplies while the Union keeps them from being invaded by some other power. Basically pets.

The first speaker is starting. Hopefully they keep it quick. I'd like to go back to sleep.

"Greeting esteemed guests of the Galactic Union."

First up is the Cosmos. More colloquially referred to as Space Elves. They were the first of the Five Greater Races to meet Humanity and one of the three founders. People were convinced they were angels. Some still think that. Vaguely humanoid in shape, nearly four meters tall and thin in frame. Biologically they are closest to our jellyfish. Their bodies are so clear you can see through them, when the cilia aren't glowing that is. Much like a deep sea comb jelly, they have thousands of light producing hair-like structures all across their bodies. With them turned on they look like a walking night sky. Truly stunning beauties. Voices are hot, too. Sort of a cross between an opera singer hitting that high note and the sexiest woman you know hitting a different kind of high note.

"Each of you has been selected for your exemplary service to your own peoples. Now one of you will have the opportunity to show the whole galaxy what you are capable of. To place your name among the most elite to have ever lived. May the All Mother smile upon you."

Right, the All Mother. These Cosmos are convinced the galaxy itself is their God. When it looks like you I guess that makes sense. They are seen as the spiritual center of the Union for a reason. Next up is the Triterroran representative.

"It is my great pleasure to host this prestigious event at the station which I oversee."

Arrogant prick. Triterroran's are the newest Greater Race by about three thousands years. And they will never shut up about it. They're real weirdos, too. Everything comes in threes with these guys. Three eyes, three ears, three arms, three legs, three digits for each. Impossible to sneak up on them. They were trying to obtain Greater Race rank for millennia. They only got it after figuring out a means to standardize Galactic tech. They fit a lot of different shaped pegs into a single square hole.

"Today the best the Union has ever produced will compete for one of the most coveted roles in all the Galactic Union. May the victor find honor and glory."

Yeah, yeah, get out you brown noser. The Geod is talking.

"Win, lose, fate decides."

And the Geod is done. Not much for talking those ones. Some call them Golems, other's Space Dwarves. Either way they are rock people. A silicon lifeform of immense stature. A sort of humpback biped with thick shoulders and small heads. It's amazing how much delicate work they can do with those thick fingers. Another founding race who made their mark through technological innovation. If you own anything Galactic standard, from a warship to a flashlight, you are using something invented by the Geod. We got the Zeta next. I hate the Zetas.

"Greeting biological organisms. It is of above normal amounts of joy in which I relay to you all my desire for a mutually benefitable outcome."

Fucking Zeta. Nobody likes them. They look like Grey aliens of ancient Earth lore. Got everything right except their eyes being more of a brown. It's off putting. We weren't the only ones to have such an odd history with the Zetas. Long before their race was officially known to exist, countless planets had reports of them abducting citizens for strange experiments. These sightings predate the Galactic Union itself by thousands of years. Then out of nowhere they walk up to the Greater Races and ask for membership in exchange for all their astrological and medical knowledge. They knew the biology of tens of thousands of races better then any of them knew themselves. Nobody quite gets what their deal is.

"For the benefit of the Galactic Union may this star date be one worth writing down in the logs of historical importance. To the one of you all that will succeed on this day, a long and fruitful career is wished. To those of you who will fail on this day, sorry."

Space God damn Zetas. Oh good, it's the Seraph's turn. 

"One of you will become the next Expeditionary Captain. If given a Galactic Year, I could not express to you everything that will bring. The honor, the pain, the glory, the terror, the adventures beyond your wildest dreams and greatest nightmares. A lifetime of experiences will not prepare you for this. That is my failure, not yours. No matter who wins this, know I am proud of you all."

Nothing like the Seraph. That's right, we named them after angels. Some humans treat the Cosmos like deities, but everyone treat the Seraph that way. Including the Cosmos. And why not, they are the true founders of the Galactic Union. Beings made of pure energy with more wisdom in one electron than the whole of the United Huminites ever will. Their technology and knowledge were leagues above everyone else in all the universe. They could have been the most powerful of conquers. Yet they chose to build rather than destroy. Their guidance has raised up countless species from the thrall of hatred and ignorance. Not many other's who'd have done the same.

The exam is starting. Time to go fail in front of the leaders of the Universe. Maybe this will be fun. In a top ten best nutshots kind of way.