MTLNOVEL Chapter 3: Rules of Return
I told myself it was over.
That one glance in the park, that one minute from a distance, was the end of it. He had seen Leo. He had cried. And I had said all I needed to say.
I told myself I meant it.
But lies told to ourselves are the most convincing kind.
That night, after Leo was asleep and the house was silent, I stood in the hallway outside his room. My hand on the doorframe. Watching him breathe.
And I kept thinking—
What if Rafael had stayed?
What if he hadn't left at all?
Would Leo be different? Would I?
Would I still be this angry?
I hated the questions. Because they were useless. They didn't change a single thing. But they kept showing up, like weeds I couldn't pull out.
I didn't sleep again.
And when morning came, I didn't feel like I had survived the night. I felt like I had barely made it through the battlefield of my own mind.
---
Work was a blur. Paperwork, meetings, fake smiles.
At lunch, I sat in the break room alone, pretending to scroll through my phone. My coworkers talked about weekend plans and spa vouchers and some new series about lawyers with too much sex and too few ethics.
I wasn't listening.
Because at the top of my inbox sat an email.
From: UnknownSender9017
Subject: Not sure why I'm writing this
Time: 3:04 AM
I clicked it.
> Maya,
I know I shouldn't. You told me not to. But not writing feels like I'm disappearing all over again, and I promised I wouldn't do that.
I don't want to take anything from you. You're the one who raised him. You're the one who stayed.
But I wanted to say it somewhere—what I saw yesterday broke me.
Not because I regret everything (though I do), but because I didn't realize how much life I missed. That boy… he laughs like you. He runs like I did at his age. But his eyes? They're all his own.
He looked right at me. Just for a second. And I felt like I was seeing the future I forfeited.
I don't expect anything. Not forgiveness. Not a second chance.
I just needed you to know that I see it now.
All of it.
I read it twice. Then again. I told myself not to cry.
I failed.
---
That night, after Leo fell asleep beside me on the couch, I stared at the email again.
I didn't know what I was supposed to feel.
I had hated Rafael for five years. Hated the way he vanished. Hated the silence. Hated the weight I carried while he was god-knows-where doing god-knows-what.
But this version of him?
This broken, honest version?
I didn't know how to hate him properly anymore.
And that terrified me.
Because hate was easier.
---
Three days passed. No new messages. No calls. No surprise appearances at the park.
And somehow, that made it worse.
Because now I was the one wondering.
Did he mean everything he said?
Was that email just a one-time guilt dump?
Or was he out there waiting for me to open the door again?
I didn't know what I wanted.
Until I did.
---
On the fourth day, I replied.
> You don't get to walk back into our lives just because you feel something now.
You chose to disappear.
You don't get to un-choose that.
But...
If you're going to write, then write everything.
Not just what you saw in the park. Not just your regrets.
I want the truth.
All of it.
If you're going to show up, then bleed.
I hit send before I could second-guess it.
It felt like hurling a stone into a lake and not waiting to hear the splash.
---
That night, I got another email.
> Okay.
You want the truth?
I didn't disappear because I was brave. I disappeared because I was weak.
---
Rafael asked for one minute. He got it. But the moment his eyes met Leo's, the past erupted like fire beneath their feet. And Maya—tired, torn, trembling—realizes that closure might be a crueler lie than hope.
---
I didn't want to go.
But I did.
I didn't want to see him.
But I did.
Again.
Same bench. Same coat. Same silence like an apology he couldn't say out loud.
Leo ran off to the jungle gym. Laughing. Free.
And Rafael stood there like a shadow in a painting I swore I'd burned.
"Do you remember," I said without looking at him, "what you told me when I found out I was pregnant?"
He stayed quiet.
"I do," I continued. "Word for word. You said, 'We're too young to raise anything but hell.'"
He flinched.
Good.
"You didn't ask if I was scared. You didn't hold my hand. You packed a bag and left a note that said 'I'm not ready to be someone's father.'"
His voice was lower than I remembered. Rawer.
"I wasn't."
I finally looked at him.
"You think that excuses it?"
"No."
"Then why are you here?"
He looked down. Like the truth lived in the dirt.
"Because I can't die twice."
I scoffed. "Try being the one who stayed."
Rafael swallowed.
"You look like hell," I said flatly.
"I haven't slept much."
"Good. That's something we have in common."
He glanced at Leo.
"I don't deserve him."
"You don't even know him."
"Exactly."
The wind picked up. Trees shifted. Leaves fell.
"I spent five years hating you," I said. "But it never made me feel better. So I tried forgetting you. That didn't work either."
"I didn't come to be forgiven."
"Then why? Why now? Why this?"
He paused. Looked me in the eye. And then said it.
"Because I remember the night he was conceived."
My breath caught.
"You were crying," he whispered. "Because Luna had just been diagnosed. You said everything was falling apart. And I kissed you like that could fix anything."
"Don't," I warned.
"I didn't think you'd keep him."
My voice cracked. "Neither did I."
We stood there. The silence was no longer soft. It was war.
"I've changed, Maya."
"No. You've healed. That's different."
He took a step closer. I didn't move.
"I don't want custody. I don't want weekends or holidays. I just want to be someone he can find if he ever decides he wants to."
I stared at him.
"Leo doesn't even know your name."
"I know."
"If I tell him, and he asks why you left—what should I say?"
He closed his eyes.
"Tell him I was broken. And scared. And stupid. And that none of that had anything to do with him."
I didn't speak. Because if I did, I'd cry.
And I didn't want him to see me cry.
He turned to go.
But then—Leo called out.
"Mom, look! I made a dino nest!"
I turned, smiled at him, waved.
But when I looked back—Rafael hadn't moved.
He was staring at Leo like the boy was made of light and every moment he missed was a fresh burn.
"Leave," I whispered. "Before I change my mind."
"I'm sorry," he said one last time.
Then he walked away.
Again.
But this time—he didn't run.
And I didn't beg.
---
That night, Leo fell asleep in my arms. Sweat on his brow. His little hand clutched in mine.
I stared at the ceiling.
And I knew.
This wasn't over.
---
At 2:03 AM, my phone buzzed.
A message.
But it wasn't Rafael.
It was from a number I didn't recognize.
> "You don't know me, but I knew Luna. We need to talk. She left something else behind—something Rafael never found. And you need to see it before he does."
My chest tightened.
I didn't sleep again.
But not because of Rafael.
Because the past had just opened a door I didn't know existed.
And someone was standing in the hallway… waiting.
I didn't sleep for the third night in a row.
The air in the house felt thick, like it was holding its breath with me.
Leo slept through it all—peaceful, untouched.
But me?
I was burning.
By 6AM, I gave up pretending and started making pancakes. Not because Leo asked. Just because the silence needed to be broken.
He came into the kitchen in his dinosaur pajamas, rubbing his eyes.
"Mom… can we go to the park again today?"
I hesitated.
"Maybe," I said. "Let's eat first."
He looked up at me, blinking.
"Will that man be there again?"
I froze.
"What man?"
He pointed with his fork, like it was obvious.
"The one with the sad face."
I couldn't breathe for a second.
"You saw him?"
He nodded.
"He was watching me. Like… like he was scared and happy at the same time."
I put the spatula down.
Leo stared at me, like he was waiting for permission to understand something he didn't have the words for yet.
So I lied.
"Probably just someone who thought you looked like his kid."
He didn't push.
He just nodded.
But I knew.
He didn't believe me.
---
I didn't text Rafael.
But I knew where he'd be.
So I went. Without Leo.
This time, I didn't stand far away.
I walked up to him.
He looked like shit. Hair messy. Eyes red. Hands trembling like he hadn't slept either.
"You said one minute," I snapped.
"I know."
"You got your minute. Why are you still here?"
He looked at me like I was the only thing in the world that could hurt him.
"I need to tell you something."
"No."
"Maya—"
"No," I said louder. "You don't get to walk back into my life and start dropping secrets like we're still in love."
"I was never out of love with you."
That sentence slapped the breath out of my lungs.
"You were out of my life."
He swallowed.
"I found more of Luna's letters. There's one you haven't seen."
"I don't want—"
"She said Leo might not be mine."
Silence.
Like the air around us froze.
Like the ground tilted.
"What did you say?"
"She said… she said there was someone else. Before me. After you. She said she didn't know for sure. But that she was scared you'd never tell me. That's why she wrote the first letter. The one Leo wasn't supposed to read."
I stared at him.
"You're lying."
"I'm not. I didn't believe it either. But I got a test done."
"No."
"Maya—"
"No. You don't get to throw that at me and expect me to stand still."
"I'm not accusing you of anything. I just—"
His voice cracked.
"I just needed to know. For him. For me."
"Who?" I asked, trembling.
He hesitated.
"Who was the other name?"
He didn't answer.
"Who, Rafael?!"
He looked up at me, pain written in every line on his face.
"Jason. Your ex. The one who left after Luna's funeral."
My knees almost buckled.
"You think he could be Leo's father?"
"I didn't want to think anything. I just—I needed the truth."
I slapped him.
Right there, in the park.
"You left me," I hissed. "You left both of us. And now you're trying to rewrite everything?"
He didn't touch his cheek.
He didn't flinch.
He just whispered, "I'm sorry."
I walked away before I could scream.
---
That night, I opened the old box Luna had left me.
The box I had sworn I wouldn't touch again.
There were more letters.
Tucked behind the photo albums.
Wrapped in a red ribbon I didn't remember.
I sat on the floor and read them. One by one. Until my hands were shaking and my tears blurred the ink.
Luna hadn't just been scared.
She had been protecting me.
From Rafael. From Jason. From the truth.
And there, in her last letter, was the sentence that gutted me:
> "I don't know which of them is the father, Maya. And I'm scared you'll hate me forever for what I kept from you."
I dropped the paper.
---
The next day, I told Leo we weren't going to the park.
He didn't ask why.
He just looked at me and said, "It's okay, Mom. You can cry. I won't tell anyone."
I broke.
I fell to my knees and held him.
Tighter than I ever had.
Afraid that if I let go, the world would shatter again.
---
That night, I got a message.
Not from Rafael.
From an unknown number.
> "I heard about Luna's letters. I'm not running anymore either. I need to know too."
I stared at the screen.
Jason.
---
A lie buried in grief. A letter no one was supposed to read. And now—two men, one truth, and a child caught in the center. Maya thought Rafael's return was the storm. She was wrong. The past is just beginning to open its jaws.
--
Leo might not be Rafael's biological son
Luna hid the truth, fearing Maya's reaction
Jason is back—and he knows everything
---