Chapter 44: Self-blaming Parasite!
(Attendance please…)
….
Tony's smirk faded, replaced by a weary, troubled expression. He looked at Gojo, the earlier playful banter forgotten, and asked, his voice low, "You've seen it, then?"
Gojo walked to his mini-fridge, pulling out a cold beer and two small cups of fruit pudding one for himself, and the other, presumably, for Mochi. "To be honest, Tony, it's not just me," he said, his back to him. "Everyone's seen it. It's being broadcast on every news channel, just like I was a year ago." He let out a short, humorless laugh. "Hahaha. Nostalgia days."
He tossed the beer bottle to Tony, who caught it with a practiced ease. Gojo then sat down in a modern armchair near the sofa, popped the lid off one of the pudding cups, and began to feed Mochi small spoonfuls. "Woof, woof!" Mochi barked happily, her tail thumping against the chair.
Tony stared at the news report for another long moment, then took a swig of his beer. "Things are going way over the line, Satoru," he said, his voice heavy. "It feels like we just create a new line every single time the last one is crossed."
Gojo continued to feed Mochi, not looking at Tony. "By 'we,' do you mean to include yourself in that little group?" he asked, his tone casual but pointed. "From what I've heard, you've been too busy actually doing good things. Creating new tech to help people, approving a record number of scholarships for MIT students, offering jobs at Stark Industries like you're handing out ice cream to kids on a hot day. And etcetera, etcetera, etcetera… and more etcetera."
Tony was a little surprised that Gojo knew so much about his recent activities, but then he remembered Gojo's occasional visits to the Tower, and Jarvis's regular gaming sessions here. And it wasn't exactly top-secret information; a lot of it had been printed here and there in business journals or online.
"I heard you even approved the project funding for every single student at that MIT presentation," Gojo continued, scraping the last bit of pudding for Mochi. "I mean, if I was one of those students, I would probably be looking at you like you were some kind of… KIND person. And that 'kind' would be in all capital letters."
"It wasn't really that much for me, Satoru," Tony said, a hint of his old self-deprecating humor returning. "And I think… it's the least I can do, after what happened."
Gojo set the empty pudding cup down and finally looked at Tony, his expression unreadable behind his dark glasses. "Blah, blah, blah, 'what happened,'" he said, waving his spoon dismissively. "Blah, blah, Ultron, blah, killing people, blah, blah, blah." He leaned forward, his voice losing its playful edge. "You've got to cross that self-blaming line, Tony. It's getting old. Everyone else seems to have moved on, more or less. Maybe you should too."
"You see," he continued, "self-blaming is kind of a parasite, in my definition. The more you do it, the deeper it burrows into your head. And don't even think about coming out of it easily after you've let it go deep enough. This isn't some romantic fantasy movie or TV series where one kind soul comes along, gives you a few comforting words, and miraculously removes that parasite. That's not how it works."
Gojo paused, letting his words sink in. "What you did, you did because of what Wanda showed you. Because you saw a potential future and knew that something would be needed to stop it."
"If you hadn't done it, if you had just listened to everyone else and played it safe… then years later, when your nightmare becomes a reality, the REGRET and the word 'regret' here is in all capital letters that regret would be so big, so all-consuming, that this Ultron incident you're blaming yourself for would seem like a single piece of trash in a boundless sea."
"The only thoughts in your head would be, 'Why didn't I do it? Why didn't I try?' If I had just done it then, this much wouldn't have happened.' And let's not forget," Gojo added, pointing his spoon at Tony, "your plan was actually a fifty-percent success, with Jarvis becoming exactly what you had envisioned from the start."
Tony was quiet for a long moment. He had heard variations of these words from others from Pepper, from Rhodey, even from Bruce. But hearing it laid out so bluntly, so devoid of sympathy yet filled with a strange, undeniable logic… it was different. He didn't know the word for the feeling, but it helped. A small, genuine laugh, the first one that day, escaped him.
"Hahaha… your definition of 'comforting someone' is quite… different, Satoru," Tony said, a hint of his old self returning. "I'll definitely keep that in mind for the future. Though," he added, his expression turning serious again, "what I actually came here for was, just as you guessed, because of the recent incident with the Avengers."
He took a breath. "The government… they want the Avengers to sign the Sokovia Accords. To work with them, under their oversight."
Gojo, who had started on his own pudding cup, didn't even look up. "By the tone of your voice, you left out a few important details in that little summary," he said.
"Let me guess, based on my own recent experience. How about this, in my terms, what I really heard was: 'The Avengers will work under the government. They will sign these papers, and if they refuse, they will be imprisoned if they are caught doing any 'Avengers activities' also known as 'helping people.' They will only be allowed to help the people we, the government, decide are worth helping.' Am I close?"
Tony stared at him, genuinely surprised. "You got all that just from my one line?"
Gojo finally took a scoop of his pudding. "Aliens and rogue AIs are only a secondary problem for humans, Tony," he said, swallowing.
"Because when that secondary problem shows up, humans get all chummy, they get together to deal with it, calling it the 'hope of humanity' or whatever other cringe name they come up with." He took another scoop of pudding and continued, "But after that threat is gone? What they then focus on is hoarding as much power as they can from the aftermath… and then firing it at one another."
….
A/N: So, how was it?! Even though i said in some comments that i would complete this arc in 13 or so chapters dont hold onto it too much. It may take longer but it will be shorter than ultron arc.
This chapter is half of what i want to write, i would complete the other half by tomorrow or the day after and will upload it.
Q: Were Gojo Words True and logical?!
-Yes
-No
Or in short just click in join via invite link in your discord and enter this code: 5Y7uZ2kN