Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

With the quick fireworks show over, we were just about to resume our normal operations when we heard succeeding gunshots and explosions from the border of Iskoh's territory, which exceeded the usual intervals.

It was true that everyone else had the means to use anything in their toolbox to deal with the dead but it seemed like someone button-mashed their controller and tried to use everything at once.

And at the same fucking time, Jared who was still watching the horizon started firing shots one after the other—and his expression meant serious business.

"THIS FUCKING WIND! HOW MUCH—"

I cut him off, "What is it?!"

"CAN'T YOU SEE THEM, BRO?! YOU— THE KETTLE-LEY HEE-HEES ARE OVER THERE! LOOK!"

"The wut?"

"THE KETTLEY-HIHI! THE— YA KNOW! FROM THE DND GAMES WE—"

"You mean Cthulhu?"

"DOES DOESN'T SOUND LIKE IT SPELLS, BRO— I— WOAH! WATCH IT! THAT'S MY—"

At that point, I jumped over to where he and Kaley were and stole his rifle to see whatever the fuck he was seeing through his scope.

If I were drunk and/or high I would've believed his statement but with the limited visibility, poor lighting from more than a mile away, and the colors being just green, black, or white mixed together, some people might thought it was another mythical being who rose from the waters.

Because from what I was seeing, it was a fucking Stitcher with a dead octopus on its head—all the while its three tongues were dangling down its mouth, making Jared think it was a human-sized Cthulhu or technically speaking, a good 'ol mind flayer.

In any case, with how the wind was blowing and quickly asking how far Jared had zeroed his rifle, I made my own adjustments to his previous shots and I just nailed the motherfucker in two attempts from a mile plus change away.

But yeah, there were still a handful left in the same area so once I made Jared snap out of it by giving back his rifle, a fire lit in his ass when Kaley tried to aim for the targets he found first.

"HOW MUCH DID YOU HOLD RIGHT?!"

"Not telling—" then I leaned down and told Kaley what to do.

"YOU— I wanted to learn on my own!" Kaley instantly complained.

"We're in an emergency!" I exclaimed.

"THEN TELL ME, BRO!" Jared cut in.

"Figure it out yourself!"

"BUT WE'RE IN AN EMERGENCY!"

"T'was a lucky shot!"

"NO THE FUCK, IT'S NOT!"

"FINE! Just eight and a few mils to the right and wait for the wind to make your cheek cold!"

"HAAH?! That doesn't make any sense!"

"Sorry, got to go! Duty's calling—"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

At that point, I was just glad my cousin's back and up with energy because Alex probably did a number on him before the broadcast was called. However, I could hear from the common channel that the same creatures were spotted at the border where we heard the commotion and it was just Stitcher after Stitcher with tongues split into two or three pieces.

But yeah, not all of them were wearing octopi over their heads but what it fuckin told me was that not only do we have to make sure these corpses were dismembered, we'd also have to finish off the ones that could bring them back up.

All they'd have to do was leave part of themselves in the bodies still intact or do it in reverse and pick up anything for upgrades.

'Do they also increase their capacity to control deadheads by collecting more tongues? Like wishing for more wishes?'

With that disturbing idea aside, Iskoh made the executive decision to fire up the wood chippers they had on hand because these Stitchers couldn't stitch slop while I told him to make use of the car crushers located in key points of his city to forcefully push the liquid out the bodies we collected.

Better yet, this place had garbage disposals that basically shred anything thrown inside it—akin to wood chippers—and just be done with it to save more gas from burning corpses and time from waiting for everything else to dry up. It was also something we can just leave running instead of an open flame that still needed to be extinguished.

With that said, it didn't take long before I heard familiar voices from our other channel:

[C'mon, man! You have an event like this and I get the invite from the Mayor instead?!]

[Yeah! I set fire to anything, dude! Be it rain or the fucking ocean— I'll find a way!]

[YOU TWO PIPE DOWN! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ON NIGHT DUTY AND HADN'T RELIEVED ME WHEN— UGH… We'll be in the border of the City of Manila, sir! Where are you right now?]

I replied, "In the South Harbor with everyone else."

Iskoh cut in, [You can join them if you want, kid. I'd hate to ask you to look after our kids but they kind of need help over there.]

"Jesus fucking— You tell me this, now?!"

[Not in an emergency per se but they've been nonstop yapping and screaming since it started. They just need some direction since Joe has been a little~ rebellious ever since he got back from your camp.]

"You blaming me, now?"

[Not my intention but he wanted to take the leadership role for some reason. He even asked if he could lead his own crew if that's not possible.]

"Sound like a kid who's got drive and commitment, what did you do?"

[Told 'im to gain some more experience first.]

"What else?"

[And to shut up since he doesn't know what he's doing.]

"Heh. You fucks talk it out, that's not my problem."

[Are we gonna talk here or what—]

"We're already driving up since your slow-ass relief squad took their time."

[You guys just move too fast.]

"Riiiight~ Don't blame us if we finish faster than your whole battalion."

[No, you won't.]

"I have a different scoring system."

[Don't fucking change the rules mid-argument—]

"Argument? We're just having fun here, there should be modifications to the rules!"

[I'm done. I'll just call when I need you elsewhere.]

"How about you dive down the water before we use the sonar multiple times?"

[I'm not a fucking idiot, dumbass! Shut up! Wait… Can we?]

"Can we what? Sonar? I mean— Theoretically… What type do we have?"

[We… We have two Marine ships coming in an— Wait, we do have our own Navy ships too but I'm not sure of the type installed since you know…]

"I mean… If you can have a crew send several pings at once at full power… We just have to look at the mass below if the ones squiggling stop moving. It's almost at point blank—there's already damage reported at a few kilometers how much more if it's a few meters away?"

[Yeah… Fuck it— I'll have a group do it! Where's the chopper?]

At that point, I just had Kuzma and Bogdan straighten out the younger group by the East Border while we drove back the South Harbor to see if sonars— no if OUR sonars could do enough damage to the dead in the waters.

Because if I could remember the details correctly, it had to exceed a certain decibel for the pings to cause brain hemorrhages—and while military sonar could easily do that and kill divers close enough, we weren't so sure if what we have on hand could actually do the same.

Then Johnny's voice entered our ears:
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[There's no official report of anyone dying from sonar but do remember that you'd kill or damage everything else living in the water too. It's a shame, really, but we should do better next time since the aquatics farms you've built have to be started from scratch. Unless you know… except for the man-made ones.]

Hearing that, we had several groups drop into the ships available that were stable enough to not move an inch despite the pull from the corpses underneath them.

Of course, we made them methodically sweep the insides of the ship just in case, and once the sonars were pressed over and over for a minute, admittedly, the tension in the air and the looming threat from the troubled waters seemed to have died down.

While we couldn't exactly confirm that we took care of the ones that "survived" a 100%, the ones we were paying attention to had now fallen to eternal slumber.

So yeah, we had the same thing done over to the North Harbor, and as far as our technology could reach—but despite this little success, we'd still have to fish out the corpses from under the water. Still, it was much better to spread our soldiers all around the coast and now, they were more concentrated on the borders separating us from the areas we hadn't reclaimed as our own.

And I just had to say it since we were just now chilling at the same spot as earlier:

"Imagine getting killed by a vibrator— OW! STOP! STOP! THAT'S— THAT'S FUNNY, GODDAMMIT! HAHAHAHAHA!!!"