Coerced Into Altruism In The Dungeon

There were moments where Alex had the following thought.

Wow, life can't get any stranger than this.

There weren't very many of those moments honestly, but they still existed.

Because really, how does someone even top spending the better part of a day inflicting bodily harm to the more morally bankrupt members of society?

The answer was that you couldn't.

Of course, Alex was promptly proven wrong when, on one Tuesday afternoon, he was not only universally displaced between worlds but also forced to fight a giant fucking xenomorph-esque creature, straight out of someone's Lovecraftian wet dreams.

But it didn't end there.

Oh no.

Because fast forward several hours, Alex woke up to something arguably even more ridiculous. And believe it or not, he actually wasn't referring to the brunette lady proudly revealing the character she had been roleplaying as.

No, he was talking about what had happened after that.

"You want me to join your cult...?" Alex asked in the flattest voice he owned, pointing at himself. "Me. Of all people."

"Yes!"

"Lyra, please let me do the talking. And you... I really wish you wouldn't call it a cult. But, essentially, yes. We would like you to join our Familia. As a provisional member even, if that sounds more appealing."

Or so Red explained with a healthy dose of her usual 'turn that frown upside down' attitude, which even in light of the last several hours, didn't seem to be at risk of running empty.

But anyway, they apparently found out about Alex's chronic condition of being unremarkably human, and because of that, instantly saw fit to offer him a place in their group.

Because that made sense.

Though, the strangest part was that they were acting like they were doing him a favor?

Then again... that quest screen did make them sound like big shots in this world, so maybe this really was on the level of some golden ticket no one could even dream of receiving.

Hm... Alex inclined his head. 

If that was the case, he supposed there really was only one answer to give in a situation like this.

"Okay. I'll join."

"Wait. You will?"

"Hell no. Did you really think I'd say yes?"

Now, no one immediately reacted.

But then, Red recoiled, almost as if she had been struck. And in the living room they had decided to reconvene in, that seemed to be the case for the various females sitting around in just as many pieces of furniture as well.

With wide eyes and stiff faces, all of them appeared genuinely taken aback, as if his answer had been that much of a surprise.

Uh, what?

Wasn't that his line?

Seriously, in what universe was he supposed to say: "yes, go team, sign me up," just like that, no questions asked?

Now, there wasn't a guidebook to world hopping, but Alex was fairly certain joining ecclesiastically driven organizations on the first day would be up there in things one wasn't supposed to do.

"Can... Can we have a reason for your refusal?" Red asked after a slight delay, having gained some control over her fluctuating expression.

"You mean 'I don't want to' isn't good enough?"

"No. It's not."

Alex turned his head.

That baleful voice came not from Red, but from someone else across the room a bit, that prickly black-haired girl who seemed to be of Asian descent. She was, same as before, decked out in her frilly pajamas.

In any case, he matched her stare with one of his own, while idling wondering why it looked so serious.

...I could have sworn this one didn't like me. Like, at all.

Regardless, Alex was the first to look away.

"Well, I couldn't join even if I wanted to."

"And why is that?" Red asked.

"Biological deficit," he said with a shrug.

"...What."

From the looks of it, Pajama Lady's tired reply seemed to speak for all of them, as they were suddenly staring at him with expressions that weren't sure whether they should be confused or flat out dumbfounded.

But Alex would pick a nice middle ground and say they were astonished.

With no other choice, he decided to explain.

He did so by pointing to himself.

"See—I'm not a girl~. Ergo, I cannot join~," he laid out in mock surprise, accompanied with the kind of slow syllables an adult would use for the benefit of a small child. "...Oh, and before any of you ask for me to prove it, I'll pass? ...Not really into exhibitionism."

At first, the casual non-sequitur went completely over their heads.

But that changed in the coming seconds as the several faces next to him shifted to being not only embarrassed but mildly disturbed.

Blondie's heated face was certainly something to behold, anyway.

Well, tainting virgin ears wasn't exactly one of his pastimes, but he was of the mind that any continued discomfort on their end would only make his eventual exit easier.

And Alex was very good at causing discomfort.

Or at least he thought he was.

...Right, there were a few weirdos among them.

Pinkie was looking at him, completely unbothered, like she just found a comrade in arms.

Out of all of them, Alex thought there was something especially wrong with that one. Reminded him of, well, him. Wait. Now that he thought about it, that was probably why he found himself unable to fully dislike her.

Red coughed into her hand, drawing his attention. "Back to the matter at hand, the reason you just gave... that has already been considered. We are... well aware of your gender."

"Yeah... I did wake up naked."

"Exactl—wait, what?"

"No, no. I get it, Red. You're at that age. You're beginning to... desire certain things. Now, I'm not particularly attracted to any of you in that way, but I won't freak out just because you and the others wanted to take a little peek. You couldn't help it."

Red's mouth fell open.

But when her brain finally caught up to her, she started spewing out denials. "W-Wait, wait, wait, I think there has been a bit of a misunderstanding. I haven't, I mean, we haven't—!"

"Calm down, Alise. The boy is merely spinning you a lofty tale. When he woke up, he was only divested of his shirt, nothing else."

At that untimely interruption, Alex could only hum in disappointment, shifting his gaze away from the sufficiently flustered Red, and to where the new but not unfamiliar voice had spoken.

It was a woman, naturally, but unlike those sitting on the left and right of her, she was a bit older.

There was a calm look on the self-proclaimed goddess' face.

Or rather, that gentle smile of hers was just so stuck in place that it approached a level of calm instead.

Though... he didn't think he was imagining the subtle amusement flickering in those eyes.

Like this, an impromptu staring contest started.

Then, Alex tilted his head.

"Uh, aren't you going to fix your makeup?"

The woman across from him blinked, and there was a certain indescribable pleasure in seeing those demurely placed hands leaving her lap in an instant, only for them to freeze halfway to her face.

Even more so when she tried to lower them like nothing happened.

"...You must be mistaken, child. I don't wear makeup."

"Yeah, but you totally panicked just now. Heh. Don't try to play it off," Alex chortled, wagging a finger at her disapprovingly.

The brunette woman's smile twitched, before her body wilted into a sigh. Still, that smile of hers didn't once abate as she angled her head to look at him. "...Even in all my millennia, I don't think I can recall one like you."

Just like in that guest room, the gaze that returned to him was a pool of maturity. One wouldn't believe he had completely shattered it five minutes prior. ...Let him reiterate. Five minutes prior, Alex did not fully believe he had actually been able to. Thus, his next thought came unbidden, even as his eyes imperceptibly narrowed.

...What a creepy woman.

Still.

"You do realize I have no choice but to take that as a compliment, right?" Alex replied with little change of expression. "Aren't you worried? What if I were to get the wrong idea?"

She blinked.

"I-Is that so? Apologies, then. That wasn't the impression I meant to give off," the woman responded in a demure manner.

But since Alex had been waiting for such a reply, he could only grin.

"Perfect! Now that we've all established our mutual dislike for one another, we can part ways with no hard feelings. Very sad, yes, but it can't be helped. Now, I'll just go about collecting my things and—"

Alex stood up.

Correction: he tried to.

Two different hands immediately clamped down on his shoulders, forcing him back down, on his left being that gray haired girl with the wolf ears, and his right being occupied by that tiny brunette who he had kinda-maybe-sorta-roundhouse-kicked-for-her-shield, but had been in full-on body armor back then.

Well, tiny or not, she was still ridiculously strong.

"Or not," he murmured rather listlessly, annoyed.

...Even more so when a few of them giggled.

Pinkie leaned forward in her seat. "Heehee. Saying we dislike you is kinda hurtful and untrue, you know? Besides, in the Goddess' case, I think you're underestimating the interest she has in someone who treats her like you do."

That small child then gestured at herself and the others.

"Even as familiar as we all are, we still hold her in high esteem. We wouldn't even think of referring to her casually. You on the other hand, treat her like, you know, a normal person."

Alex's voice came out flat.

"She is a normal person, you stupid girl."

"Haha! See!"

He sighed.

Yeah, these people were a lost cause.

Smiling gently, Miss Goddess herself placed a hand on her chest. "Well, all that aside, even the other gods rarely take on informal tones with me. That is to say, while I admit your behavior is a tad bit unorthodox, it's refreshing in its own way."

"Gee, I'm glad I can be here to curb your rampant masochism when it flares up," he said with a deadpan look.

But at the same time, Alex was trying really hard to pretend he didn't hear that first part, that there were even more people afflicted with the same mental illness that had this woman believing she was divine.

One problem at a time.

Two seats away from him, Pajama Lady crossed her arms.

"Now, if you're done fishing for an excuse to leave, let's get back to the earlier matter. Your gender holds no issue for us."

"That's right," Red nodded. "And really, there has never been any specific rule preventing men from joining in the first place. That was just how it turned out considering Goddess', um, chaste principles."

"Chaste?" Alex blinked, before immediately rounding on the brunette. "You? What part of that exposed cleavage is chaste?"

"One could argue that it's men who are being unchaste in staring," she instantly replied, ignoring his slight entirely.

Alex silently regarded her for a moment.

"...Okay. I'll give you that."

The pink haired girl was quick to raise her hand. "See? Men could have joined at any time. It was just a matter of circumstance. And trust of course. Wouldn't want any perverts joining."

Alex hummed lazily.

Then blinked.

"Actually. I haven't been entirely honest with you all. The truth is, I'm a massive perv—"

"He's lying."

Alex violently swore under his breath.

They giggled at him.

Again.

"Anyway," the pinkette continued, not even bothering to hide her wide smile. "Given how much you've done for us, we've naturally decided to make an exception for you. Kind of us, right?"

"I genuinely wish the lightning killed me."

"Haha. And there's that, too. You're actually funny, so that just makes me want you to join even more. I can't help but like you."

Even though such an embarrassing declaration had just left her mouth, the pink haired girl didn't look the least bit abashed. She was still all smiles.

Her companions, on the other hand, were a different story, apparently content to perpetuate the necessary embarrassment in the shorter girl's stead.

"L-Lyra?!"

"W-What are you saying all of a sudden?!"

Regardless of whether the ears were real, from Greenie and then Blondie, it seemed fiction didn't have it totally wrong when they labeled elves as old fashioned. Or was the better word uptight?

Well, that didn't have anything to do with him.

After having just received what could be taken as a love confession, Alex smiled in a far too chipper way, and it was in complete contrast with the words that left his mouth.

"Wow, if someone like me is your type, you really must be messed up in the head, huh?"

"I'm not hearing you saying no," Pinkie replied, completely unbothered.

Alex's smile twitched.

A beat passed before he scooted closer to the girl beside him.

"Psst. Wolfie. If she lunges at me, you'll protect me, right?"

"W-Wha?"

The gray-haired girl with the animal ears went completely stiff, squawking in surprise. That reaction must have been amusing, because Red, Pinkie and them looked to be on the verge of laughter. Even Blondie, far from disgruntled, was struggling to hide a smile.

"With this much, do you get it now, child?"

"I legitimately get shivers every time you call me that."

Really, the look the 'goddess' was giving him was way too warm.

In fact, looking at it now, it made him think that any other emotion she might have shown him until now was only surface level.

Or perhaps it was incredibly mother-like, to know what reaction to put on when talking with their children. And, realistically, it might actually be the behavior of someone who's lived for millennia, like she said.

Considering that, Alex's lips formed a thin line.

But it only lasted for a total of one second.

Nah.

He was overthinking it.

She just took her role-play way too seriously.

"Despite your best efforts in pushing away, these girls have been quite stubborn in not allowing you to. Now, would you like to make a guess as to why that is?"

"I've been leaning towards Stockholm syndrome honestly," Alex offered lazily. "Could be wrong though."

"I've not actually heard that term before, but I have the sneaking suspicion it was an insult, so I suppose it doesn't matter. No, I was referring to their feelings. Theirs and my own. You saved their lives, despite, being under NO obligation to do so."

Ha. That's a funny joke.

"That being said... a call for you to join us might have been too presumptuous on our part, but I hope you don't think us so shallow that we would abstain from showing proper gratitude when it's due. Now, this isn't something I make a habit of flaunting, but our Familia's wealth has amassed quite a bit over the years. We should be able to fulfill any request you make. So, having been instrumental in the safe return of my children, what would you like, young man?"

Just like that, all attention converged on him.

And they looked pretty serious, too.

Yeah, that's what this all stemmed from, didn't it? Because really, this lot was just entirely too serious. Or maybe he was the strange one for acting the complete opposite. Either way, with a small breath, he decided to finally ponder over what they were saying.

The offer... wasn't bad.

Declining to join an all-girl militia group, and all the craziness that would have been involved was one thing, but Alex was hardly about to turn down a free reward.

To put it simply, his situation was in the throes of 'not good'.

He knew next to nothing about this world. Couldn't even rely on common sense anymore. In other words, he was a clump of brain cells away from being labeled an idiot.

And that was actually fucking horrifying.

Not to mention he was homeless.

Broke, too.

So there was that.

Alex was sure something could be done about that if he asked. These people seemed like the type to set him up with something like that, out of obligation and nothing else. He might even be able to freeload off of them. Hell, if he was really strategic about what he asked for, he would be able to acquire a perpetual amount of help in the future.

God knows he might need it, especially with promises of more quests.

So, manipulate and reap the benefits.

That should be the plan.

Alex suddenly let out a breathy laugh, and it had the unintended effect of startling those still waiting for his answer.

Who am I kidding?

Jumping right into the arms of the first group willing to spoon-feed him? Getting the high baller treatment, coasting through life in this new world?

Now why would he go and do something boring like that?

That wasn't his style at all.

Someone more rational than him would make that choice. And if he was an incorrigibly good person, well, he wouldn't be asking for anything at all.

But Alex was neither of those.

He wasn't good.

And he was all kinds of irrational.

So...

"Just owe me one," he finally said, simply.

He expected them to nod their heads.

However, even after his response, the silence remained, and he got to watch as their faces fluctuated incessantly. Confusion, surprise, and then confusion again. This only changed for a final time when they exchanged glances, a sea of pensive frowns appearing one after another.

"That's... really all you want?" Squeezing the hem of her skirt, the girl with the shorter black hair looked at him searchingly.

Alex's head lulled to the side.

"Pretty much, yeah. Why?"

That had Blondie immediately shooting up from her seat. "That's...!" Her brows were pinched together, and there was a stormy agitation ruining an otherwise perfect face. "What do you mean why?! Eleven lives! You saved eleven of us, and all you want is one measly favor? Even after what I...!" She bit her lip and shook her head. "H-How could such a thing be considered an equivalent exchange?"

"I could ask for more, is what you're saying?"

"Yes!"

"So I can have you then?"

The girl blinked, once, twice, and only after the third time did they go incredibly wide, her entire face turning an impossible shade of red.

Alex immediately burst into laughter.

"Relax, Miss Purist, I was joking," he said jovially, watching the now rather flustered girl collapse back into her seat in a daze. "My point was, don't go giving untrustworthy strangers like me such grandiose rewards, you silly goose. Otherwise, they'll just ask for strange things."

"S-Strange things..." Greenie suddenly whispered with a blush, which Alex promptly ignored.

He crossed his arms. "A favor is enough. I'll be sticking around a while yet. For... work, you could say. That being said, I have no idea what I'll actually end up needing. But being able to knock on your door down the line and shamelessly ask for something?" A bleeding smirk stretched across his face. "That sounds good to me."

For a moment, nothing was said.

But his words quickly sunk in.

He could tell by how increasingly fed up their faces were becoming.

"...Even though he said something only a thug would say, why does he look so happy?" someone not so quietly grumbled, that black-haired girl with the bob cut.

Alex lazily pointed at her, smiling. "Those words aren't as hurtful as you might think, Missy."

"Your request..."

That mature sounding voice led him right back to Miss Goddess. Even now, she was staring at him with that same demure kindness.

"I too am of the mind you should be asking for more, but... I'll accept your reasoning behind it, and that I won't be able to convince you otherwise. You are quite the stubborn one, I hope you realize?"

Alex said nothing.

The woman sighed before continuing.

"You can take your time making sure you have all of your things and leave at your own discretion. But won't you consider staying for lunch? Why, the girls will be cooking. I'm sure they'll make it extra delicious knowing it's for a precious guest."

A few of them blushed.

"Tempting, but no."

Alex was already planning on refusing, not really wanting to stay here any longer than he had to, but it looked like he just spared them from doing something troublesome.

At least, that was what he thought.

It made the sudden disappointment that abruptly appeared on their faces somewhat strange...

Ignoring it, Alex stood up, which this time he was able to achieve unmolested.

"Oh, right," he then said, turning to face them after crossing the room. "I'll come back for my sniper rifle later."

No one looked like they understood.

"My boom-boom-stick," he clarified.

The pink haired girl immediately whined. "Do you have to? I wanted to keep it..."

"Haha. You'd have to kill me," he called over his shoulder, the next room over being quite the expansive hallway. Now, he didn't hear the munchkin of a girl's reply, but that was probably a good thing.

But as for right now, he needed to focus, mainly on how he would escape this maze of a house. Or was it a mansion? Well, he would find out soon enough. Although... he was tempted to just find the nearest window and let gravity do the rest.

Alex had just about stepped out of the room entirely when someone stopped him.

"Don't you think you're forgetting something?"

It was Red, looking at him imploringly. It wasn't just her though. The others were also looking at him, as if they were waiting for something.

Expectant, even. Impatiently so.

Alex tilted his head without meaning to.

Then his eyes widened.

"Oh, uh, thank you for not leaving me passed out in that Dungeon?"

Red suddenly put on a smile that was far too merry, and even looked as if she was on the verge of laughter. "You are very welcome. But actually, it wasn't receiving thanks that I was alluding to..." She trailed off like that, like she wanted him to pick up the slack.

But that made things awkward, because Alex still had no idea what they wanted from him.

"Don't you think it odd?" the blonde-haired elf suddenly asked, arms crossed, a serious air surrounding her. Though, despite that, there was a certain flush on her skin that couldn't be ignored. And her tone, too, suddenly took on a more nervous pitch. "We went through all of that... but it's only you who knows us."

She said that while looking away from him, and the rest of them were no different, cornering him with expressions just as subtle, ones he couldn't decipher for the life of him. No, was that embarrassment? If so, why?

Like actually, what the hell was going on?

Wait.

My god...

He's heard of this before.

"Is this..." Alex paused for a beat, brow furrowing. "Is this that woman thing where you say one thing and mean another—"

"Oh, honestly!"

That seemed to be the final straw for one of them, because as if she couldn't take it anymore, the girl with the short black hair suddenly exploded, throwing a finger at him with a heavy flush on her face. "Your name, you weirdo. What's your name!?"

Alex blinked.

"What?"

"Y-You haven't told us your name, yet, so..." One of the girls with the wheat-colored skin tone, the one who had assisted (contributed?) in realigning his ribs, finally spoke up while fidgeting nervously.

Alex just stared at them.

That was it?

That's what's got them acting so weirdly?

Something so trivial?

Don't get him wrong. Contrary to what the mask might imply, secrecy wasn't his intention, even if it was helpful more often than not. So, he really had no misgivings about revealing his face and name should he need to.

But.

He didn't think he needed to.

No, he hadn't even thought it mattered.

But for them to be getting this embarrassed...

"Oh, I get it."

Alex suddenly grinned, and it genuinely seemed to catch them off guard.

"Could it be that you lot are interested in me?"

The teasing question was hardly a serious one.

In fact, he had been kidding, only curious to see how they would react. And react they did, to a... remarkable degree actually, causing him to raise an eyebrow.

Because their faces changed in an instant.

Or rather, the already present change escalated several notches.

"Huh?! W-W-Who would be interested in someone like you?!" Blondie was immediately up in arms, locking him with a glare, and it was only matched by the intense blush on her face. "You're perverse, immature, and, and—!"

"Alex."

"And... huh?" Blondie froze.

The others matched her.

Alex's smile danced with amusement.

"My name. Alex."

And that was that.

With everything said that needed to be said and with nothing left to keep him, he spared one more glance at their surprisingly dazed expressions before leaving the room entirely.

Really, women were quite strange...

Oh, and also.

Alex may-or-may-not have gotten lost on his way out.

Window it was.

...

...

...

"Hm."

Alex didn't really know what he was expecting, seeing the outside world for the first time, but it certainly wasn't the lackluster, almost dilapidated streets he was currently looking at.

Oh, they were thriving with commerce, sure, chalk full of shops and stalls, but come on?

Surely, he wasn't the only one who thought this place was one earthquake away from becoming a slum.

Alex was in another world, right?

Where were the floating cities? The massive waterfalls? The genetically impossible creatures? Okay. Actually, on second thought, there were quite a lot of that last one—the loving couple exchanging hushed words a few feet away from him, even.

Except the man and woman weren't just any man and woman, but of the animalistically-inclined variety.

The crimson-haired female stall owner having some very poignant cat (fox?) ears, and then the man leaning over the counter, grinning, with some just as distinctive cow-ears.

Now, Alex knew there was likely no point, but he couldn't help it.

There had to be a rational explanation behind the genetic fluke currently in front of his eyes.

Because either this place was full of crazies where their way of showing cultural appropriation amounted to donning animal accessories—really hoped he was wrong about that one.

Or, evolution hit these people, and it hit them hard. Which, was even more unlikely, he'd admit, but strangely less weird?

Technically?

From a societal standpoint?

No, scratch that, it was still very weird.

In fact, both possibilities were incredibly frightening.

But this was his life now.

Hooray.

However, Alex, distracted by genetic cataclysms, had glimpsed over something pretty crucial. And in realizing this, his head took on a slight tilt, a habit on his part.

Because it turned out the two-animal people he had been staring for the past minute or so weren't actually exchanging pleasantries with each other like he had assumed.

Nor, for that matter, did it make sense that they were a couple.

Now, Alex wasn't an expert on dating, but he was pretty sure men don't make a habit of manhandling their lover's jaw.

In hindsight though, he probably should have found it a little weird how close the man had been getting, and if Alex wanted to get really technical, how directly proportionate the action was to the growing tension on the girl's face.

But that would make him a judgmental person.

And Alex was not a judgmental person.

Most of the time.

Some of the time.

Okay, admittedly never, but the point stands.

"—be scared, honey. You're acting like I'm some monster. All I'm asking is for you to pay up. Us Adventurers are out there risking our lives, turning in magic stones day after day. Why, we're practically carrying this economy. You get where I'm going with this, right? So, don't make a fuss and hand it over."

Alex was sure his brows disappeared into his hairline.

He could not believe his ears.

After all, that just now was the kind of mafia-esque bracket system he had actually seen surprisingly little of during his vigilante-ing on Earth. Although, the kind of crime that went door to door asking for donations, popping the occasional kneecaps when refused, wasn't really in style these days.

This world apparently deemed it appropriate, though, cliches and all.

Can't say I expected him to break into a soliloquy though...

Oh, and the extortionist was even looking the girl up and down—so slimy it was like Alex could actually see it dripping off him.

Apt, because in the next moment, the girl's ears drooped and she bit her lip, eventually slipping something into the man's awaiting palm.

To Alex, it just looked like a few meager coins, but from the girl's face, the amount must have been quite substantial.

Cow-dude certainly seemed to think so.

In fact, he looked damn near ecstatic.

"Thank you for your patronage," he sneered.

But hold on?

If this was a theatrical performance, Alex couldn't forget about the true scene-setters, the trains of people walking by and avoiding eye contact, not wanting to get involved in the slightest.

It seemed not even a reverse world like this one was immune to bystander syndrome.

Of course, Alex wasn't about to say he was any different.

No.

Really.

He didn't plan on doing a thing to help.

After all, if he was the type of person who felt 'personally affronted' by someone being robbed in such a way, he would have already gotten involved. An arbitrary sense of justice? A protector of the innocent? He was sure at some point in his life he had cared for such things.

That wasn't the case anymore.

Now received, the coins disappeared into a pouch on the man's side, and with the exchange seemingly over, he walked off. But whereas the man should have kept going, he suddenly paused, his expression crinkling unhappily.

On closer inspection though, the reason couldn't have been more obvious.

It was because the man finally took notice of the weirdo unashamedly staring at him in deep contemplation.

Alex blinked.

Oh wait, I'm the weirdo.

"Fuck are you looking at, human."

Suddenly closing the distance like he was appalled by it, the man's shoulder rammed viciously into his.

The man's weight-class being leagues above his, Alex couldn't keep his balance. What was more, appearances alone made it clear the cow-man wasn't some ordinary civilian.

Alex obviously stumbled, nearly sent barreling to the ground.

"Heh. Weakling."

And just like that, with a scoff, the man went on his way.

Alex waited a few seconds.

Once he was sure the man was out of sight, he stood up, rising back up to full height, habitually rolling his arms.

Well, just one of his arms.

The other was now carrying something small and robust, and he absentmindedly tossed it up and down.

Alex stared at it, tilting his head.

That is, the man's coin pouch.

Now, his first thoughts were along the lines of: Yay, coin economy... but once that passed, his thoughts turned a tad more serious. Well, as serious as they could get. That person had been one of those adventurers, right? Their gear certainly made them out to be one, at the very least.

Should pick-pocketing someone like that be so easy?

Quite strange, indeed.

A bit puzzled, Alex mulled it over. But then he just shrugged. Well, there are idiots everywhere I suppose.

Ah, but was he complaining?

Hell no.

He hoped the stupidity of the human race continued to prosper ever more. It only served to make life easier. His life, to be specific. Smiling at the thought, Alex pilfered a handful of the coins, stashing them in his coat.

As for the rest of the pouch... he lobbed it in a certain direction.

Despite being clearly startled, the shop-owner caught it with both hands, her catlike eyes widening as far as they could go. Now, this was either due to the gesture itself, or the fact that, despite his cordial finders-fee, the pouch wasn't even 75 percent depleted.

Well, she could be as surprised by his generosity as she wanted.

Alex didn't really care.

"Before you get the wrong idea, lady, I didn't help you for free. Tell me where I can find a decent map of this place."

The seconds the girl spent not reacting in the slightest was a bit cumbersome, but he chose to bear with it on the off chance that patience would reward him.

Thankfully, he was correct.

The girl, or young woman more like, as if possessed by something, abruptly nodded several times, turning around on the spot and ducking behind her little stall.

When she popped back up, she had a chipper smile on her face and was holding something out to him.

Surprisingly enough, it actually looked like the map he had requested, and a pretty detailed one at that. Not that he would know otherwise, with his untrained eye. He would look it over in detail later. For now, though...

Alex's attention slid back to the girl.

She was busying herself writing something down on some kind of miniature chalk board, strangely enough, which she eventually flipped towards him.

His brows instantly furrowed.

Several lines of characters spanned over the board's surface. But where he might have expected words, all he got were weird blocky symbols instead.

Face impassive, Alex glanced back at the girl.

Her beaming smile remained.

Is this a form of harassment or something?

At least, that was his assumption up until a very familiar orange holographic screen appeared, almost completely eclipsing the girl's face. Also, admittedly, he may or may not have had a fucking heart attack thinking it was another quest.

Thankfully, he was wrong.

///

Foreign language detected.

Translating...

Translation complete.

///

Here, you can have mine, as thanks.

///

He looked back up.

The girl nodded happily.

The odd form of communication... probably should have sparked some curiosity within him, but honestly, he didn't really care. If anything, it made his present circumstances easier. This interaction was shaping up to be closer to a business transaction, after all. He provided a service and was now getting compensated for it.

Alex's eyes flickered back to the map.

This time, the translation happened instantly, and it even appeared adjacent to the actual text. Names of buildings, streets, sectors—it was all of what he wanted. Although? Red-light district? His brows couldn't help but rise at the unbidden image that came to mind.

Anyway, map in hand, he turned around and walked away.

Alex would have anyway... if the cat girl didn't start gesturing at him like a crazy person. He guessed she really was mute or something. Thankfully, she wasn't breaking into sign language all of a sudden. What she did do was hastily scribble one more thing onto that board of hers.

///

Almost forgot, I'm Faraday.

Thanks again!

:)

///

For the umpteenth time, he looked back up.

The girl was still smiling happily at him.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight...

Alex wasn't really bothered by it, and it was true that she just got quite the big payout thanks to him. So it made sense. But...

Was there really a need to introduce herself? 

Well, no matter.

He was just going to chalk it up to her being a little strange and leave it at that.

Sighing, he pointed to himself.

"Alex."

Thankfully, after being sent one more chipper nod, he was allowed to leave after that, which he took full advantage of, diving deeper into his newfound surroundings.

An action made significantly easier with the map now in his possession.

As Alex walked, pocketing the thing for the third time, he absentmindedly began to work a coin through the knuckles of his fingers. He only stopped when a particular thought surfaced in his head.

...Oh. Come to think of it. That guy hassling her... he had an emblem on his clothes. A cup or something? Strange. Oh, but didn't those girls have one of their own, too?

Well.

It probably didn't matter.

...

...

...

Okay, an amendment to his earlier observation.

Not all the city looked to be in the throes of poverty.

After all, while on the lookout for an inn of some kind, Alex had wandered into a rather nice-looking residential area.

It was... homey.

The kind of place you expected a Ms. Carrington to live with her army of cats, just waiting to nitpick at the overly romantic young couple that moved in just down the street.

You know, that kind of vibe.

That was Alex's thought process, anyway, continuing his jaunt through the city, but now with a delectable looking skewer of meat in hand—paid for, of course.

What?

He might be walking a very thin line when it came to upholding the law, but he wasn't about to steal from that mother and daughter duo who had given him service with a smile.

They hadn't even overcharged him when he tried to pay with one of the coins he snatched. Apparently, that would have bought him ten. Good to know. He'd really have to sit down one of these days and learn the extent of the currency.

For now, though, he focused back on the cut of meat. There was even some kind of sauce dripping from it.

Now, Alex was hardly unaware of the ramifications of what he was about to do. After all, was it really a good idea to, no questions asked, eat some mystery meat in a fantasy world where the FDA likely didn't exist?

Probably not.

Even so, Alex had already snagged a bite and began chewing, letting out a slow hum as he closed his eyes, savoring the taste. He even nodded in satisfaction, smacking his lips.

Yeah, this is just chicken.

This fantasy world fucking sucked.

Alas, he continued to chew his frozen food section, ketchup and dino-nuggies level cuisine, at the same time mildly depressed that his gourmet hopes had been disintegrated to ashes.

Of course, that was why Alex didn't immediately notice when someone tugged at his clothes.

Absentmindedly, he turned around.

Huh.

Now, Alex liked to think he possessed a demeanor that was typically unfazed by most of what happened around him at any given time. But even he had to admit to his confusion at the sight of a blonde girl, a child really, holding onto him and showing no signs of letting go.

But even stranger...

That's quite the look on her face...

Face pale.

Eyes incredibly wide.

Her mouth, too, was even open a bit, as if words could come tumbling out at any moment.

Yet even with all that emotion on her face, wordlessly staring was all she kept doing, as if stuck in a trance, him being the cause.

It was definitely among his weirder interactions with children.

"Can I help you?" Alex tried.

The question was, of course, rhetorical.

Truthfully, he wanted no part in... whatever it is this was.

But since the thought of violently dislodging the girl from his personal space felt a tad bit extreme, well, diplomacy was the next best thing.

That said, for a moment, it looked like the girl wasn't going to say anything. Then he really would have been at a loss. But thankfully, after some noticeable color passed through those cheeks of hers, surprise too, and of a different kind than the ghastly state she had been in, those lips finally moved.

"I thought... you were someone else..."

With that monotone reply, it was like a switch had been flipped.

Everything about the little blonde girl considerably dimmed.

First her emotions, then her body language.

The hand holding onto his clothes naturally followed suit, trailing almost uselessly back to her side. "Sorry for bothering you," the golden haired child murmured, almost inaudible. Then, just like that, she turned around and walked away.

Alex watched as she did so, absentmindedly taking the final bite of his now cold meat skewer.

Well, that was odd.

That girl looked pretty sad.

Devastated, even.

He'd even admit to being a little curious.

"Buuuuuuuuuut, it's also none of my business~!" Alex promptly decided, clapping his hands together with a smile, then, performing a hop and a skip in the complete other direction.

Chasing after little girls wasn't going to secure him lodgings for the night, after all.

...

...

...

The sky was beginning to darken.

Luckily, the map had proved ever helpful, pointing him in the right direction of the inn, hotel, or whatever he was looking for.

Now, what it didn't do was tell him what the damn place was named. Although, he was going to take a wild guess and say 'The Drunken Maid' wasn't referring to the neighboring flower boutique.

Humming, he approached the building's wooden steps and made his way inside.

Once he got a look at the establishment's interior, he couldn't help but let out an appreciative whistle.

Round wooden tables.

Lit lanterns besmirching the walls.

Waitresses in fluttering skirts.

Patrons causing public disturbances via their very much hammered countenances.

This was a fantasy tavern.

Alex was impressed.

Still...

"Eh, nine out of ten."

It was close, but not quite.

The only thing missing was the cliche hooligan sitting off to one side making everyone uncomfortable. You know, the one who seemed like he just sat there, religiously patient, waiting for someone to waltz in just so they could take advantage.

—A bit away, a chair skidded.

"Hey, you."

But since it couldn't be helped, Alex sighed, deciding to go about the process of getting a room.

Past the expansive bar, his eyes landed just below a stairwell leading to the second floor. There was a counter, and behind it, a woman was chatting amicably with some customers.

He made his way over.

"Hey, piece of shit human! I'm talking to you!"

Or, he would have liked to.

It was made slightly difficult when he realized that someone had latched onto him and was not letting go... again.

Blinking, Alex craned his neck backwards, only to be looking right at a man's broad chest. Clothed, thankfully, but no less confusing. That was until he looked up, and past a very familiar looking cup insignia on the clothes—or was it a chalice?In any case, towering over him was indeed a man, and there was a heavy-set scowl on his face too.

Oh, and if he was feeling particularly descriptive, he should also point out that there were some very poignant looking cow ears atop the man's head.

Wait, cow ears?

Alex's thoughts must have appeared on his face, because the man then chuckled, a twisted smile bending his mouth. "There we go! I'm seeing some gears turning. Go on, human, please. Tell me who I am. Heh."

"You..."

Eyes wide, Alex's brain whirred.

The man's smirk widened.

"...You don't know who you are?"

All the hostility in the man's expression died the moment those words left Alex's mouth, an ineffable confusion replacing it in its entirety.

It was almost to the point where he looked like a completely different person, the present blank look a stark difference from how pissed he had been.

The silence continued like that, something even the once rowdy bar took part in, having gotten significantly quieter now that their little interaction had somehow taken center stage.

"...What," the cow-man uttered after an eternity, face still not reacting in the slightest.

"Oh, dude. I am so sorry. Just, I don't know how to tell you this, but if you were banking on me knowing who you were, I don't." Hesitantly, but still no less comforting, Alex placed a hand on the man's shoulder, giving it a pat.

"Get... Get your hand—"

"No, no, no. Shhh. It's okay. I got an idea." Cutting him off, Alex then turned to the various onlookers who were observing the situation in dead silence. Then he pointed. "Does ANYONE know who this man is? The one with the cow ears? Anyone? Because he doesn't know. And I sure as hell don't."

No one spoke up.

"Well, as you can see, no one—"

"NO ONE FORGOT THEIR FUCKING NAME!" Alex's feet left the ground in the next moment as he was yanked upwards by his coat collar, drawn uncomfortably close to the cow-man.

As an aside, Alex got the distinct impression he was inconsolably distraught.

"You really want to push it, huh? That was already a nice trick you pulled earlier, you little shit, swiping my money like that. And now you have the balls to come in here and act like a damn clown!? Do you enjoy fucking mocking me? Huh?!"

Slowly, Alex's head lulled to one side.

"You don't want me to answer that truthfully, right?"

The man screamed, and as if he could contain himself no longer, released one of his meaty clamps on Alex's coat collar, but only so he could use the fist to bludgeon him instead, a hit that would have done some serious damage, if not disturb Alex's consciousness completely.

However.

Alex had already slipped out of his coat.

The man instantly tried to make another lunge at him, but was in part distracted when the discarded piece of clothing smacked him right dab in the face.

Growling, the man immediately tore it right off, pupils now shaking with hatred.

So, Alex pushed down the nozzle of the cylindrical can he was now holding, and a burst of spray hit the man's eyes dead center.

And to be honest?

He found the brief moment of deafening quiet where absolutely nothing happened quite strange.

But it really was only that brief.

Because approximately one beat later---

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES?! FUCKING FUCKEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR, MY EYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! W-WHAT IS THAAAAAAAAAT?!"

"Huh? Oh. It's just pepper spray."

"IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNSSSSSSS! OH MY GODS, IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSS!"

"Well, yeah. I'd hope so. That's why I bought it."

But even though Alex was being considerate and dutifully answering, it didn't even seem like the guy was even listening.

Although, perhaps, and he was just spit-balling, that could be due to the pain that was continuously searing into his retinas.

Alex casually walked towards the man after that, easily avoiding the understandably violent way he was thrashing about every which way, palms pressing so deep into his eyelids that one would worry they would start caving the skin in at any moment.

Well, the less said about that the better.

In any case, Alex, after snagging his discarded coat off the ground, didn't really receive much opposition when he positioned himself behind the man, clambering onto his back.

Which, logically speaking... wasn't the best of ideas.

Not only could Alex just get thrown off and sent flying like a football, but he was also just as liable to get rammed into the wall or floor and crushed to death, since apparently Adventurers had the body mass equivalent of a morbidly obese forty-something one cheesy puff away from a heart attack.

That was why he snaked his way up to the man's shoulders instead, instantly going to work coiling his coat around the man's neck and face.

Of course, that was when he added in his wire in for good measure.

Then he started squeezing. 

It must have been quite frightening, suddenly being deprived of oxygen that fast, because Mr. Cow didn't look like he knew which action he should be pursuing. Removing the fists burrowing into his burning eyes to wrestle Alex off him? Or, using them to relieve the thin but tensile pressure continuously tightening around his neck.

Both—was what the man ended up deciding.

Staggering and nearly losing his balance several times, Alex had to hold on tight as the guy rampaged, tearing his lungs in half screaming and choking, all while bucking wildly like a bull.

While idly wondering if the comparison was somewhat racist, Alex choked up on the wire even further.

This resulted in even more frenzied movements.

At one point, Alex actually thought the guy would throw all caution to the wind and run ape-shit crazy into as many things as possible, spectators included, but luckily, it was apparently all the man could do to stay upright.

Cutting off circulation to your brain made critical thinking difficult.

Who knew.

But believe it or not, it wasn't the wire doing the most damage at the moment.

That role belonged to Alex's especially thick coat being held against the man's mouth and nose.

An enhanced body?

Increased resilience?

That didn't matter in the slightest when your basic human orifices were being obstructed.

Hell, the only real advantage an Adventurer had in this situation was increased lung capacity. Still, even that would run out eventually. So, what Alex had to do was simple.

Just wait.

That said, being unable to see, unable to breathe, the man's panic-induced erratic behavior was just causing more and more oxygen to be taken up, making his deadline arrive all the quicker.

Ten, no... fifteen seconds.

It wasn't really bragging, but it came with a certain amount of experience that Alex was able to pinpoint the exact moment he needed to relieve all pressure.

Practice made perfect, after all.

There was a very particular window, where your brain lulls you into a state of unconsciousness, instead of the very serious death via suffocation. Of course, it was naturally a little tricky considering his otherworldly specimen, but...

There.

The man stopped struggling entirely, and this couldn't be clearer when he lost his balance, teetering just on the edge of falling.

Alex immediately got out of the way, kicking off the man. As an aside, this may have had the unintended side effect of pushing the hapless animal-person into falling face first into the floorboards, an audible thunk if there ever was one.

Whoops.

Still, wordlessly and by habit more than anything, Alex pitter-pattered his way over and checked the man's pulse, not really feeling one way or the other when he felt its rhythmic beat.

However, it was when he went about retrieving his coat, halfway through slipping into it even, that he decidedly froze.

"..."

The staff and patrons alike, as they had been for the last minute or so, were still blankly looking at him in dumbfounded silence. Well, not only him. They were also looking at the unconscious body conked out on the floor next to him.

Alex blinked.

"It... wasn't me?" he tried.

In actuality though, it was a pretty clear-cut case of self-defense. Of course, that's how it would be in his world, and perhaps more importantly, if the eyewitnesses saw it that way as well.

That being said, this was about to go one of two ways.

Either he was about to get away with choking someone out, of course right after he shoved a can of mace in their face, impressing even the fiercest of female joggers... or, be dragged into an interrogation room and grilled by some strait-laced, no-nonsense type.

...Hm.

Actually, why did option two sound slightly entertaining?

Well, in either case, things didn't end up happening like that. Which he was in part glad for. But it was in a way that slightly caught him off guard?

Because that was when everyone in the vicinity no longer seemed to pay Alex and his lackadaisically unsure expression any mind, going right back to what they were doing.

Like nothing even happened, or as if such a thing wasn't even the highlight of their day, the bar once again resumed its animated hubbub and cheer.

O—kay, then...

Well, getting incarcerated probably would have been a slog to deal with anyway.

Besides, there were more important things to deal with at the moment.

"Bedtime, bedtime, what time is it? It's bedtime." With a merry tone and a yawn, Alex meandered over to the lady behind the counter, not caring in the slightest as he stepped on the cow-man's gut as he did so.

The lady had a bed with his name on it, after all.

Admittedly, such a thing came out way more inappropriate than he meant it to, but he was too tired to care.

"Hello," Alex greeted on approach. "I would like a room for one night, pretty please."

The woman smiled at him. "Of course, sir. Though might I say, thank you for being cognizant of your strength."

"Come again?"

"Oh, my apologies. I'm referring to the way you handled that. Those with falna getting into disputes with each other is inevitable, but the fallout is usually more severe. As ordinary people, we try to stay out of the way and hope the damage won't be too bad. Replacing broken furniture and the like isn't cheap, after all. That's why, I appreciate you holding back and dealing with the matter so cleanly, Mr. Adventurer."

For several seconds, Alex just blinked at the woman.

"You know what? Sure. You're welcome."

Not able to decipher just how fed-up his expression was, or simply not caring, the woman smiled once more, taking his offered money and exchanging it for a small key. She even gave him some spare change, which probably meant she hadn't ripped him off.

Alex pocketed the key and absentmindedly began his ascent up to the second floor where the rooms were, nothing but sleep on the brain. Yet just before the ground floor left his sight completely, he stopped mid-yawn.

Two sighing staff members were undergoing the task of dragging the unconscious Mr. Cow out of the bar and into the street.

But Alex didn't care about that.

No, his eyes were on the person in rags a few feet away.

A little girl, a brunette, around the same age as the kid from before, too.

Of course, that said nothing of the fact that she was absolutely going to town on an empty table. That is, she was scarfing down all the food there. And if Alex wasn't mistaken, that had been that guy's food...

Well, not anymore.

But someone sure was hungry.

More than that, parents sure were irresponsible these days, huh? First was that girl from earlier all by her lonesome, latching onto suspicious strangers—oh wait, I'm the suspicious stranger... Anyway, and now, there was this girl, stuffing her face with food like she's been starved or something.

"Enjoy the food I guess," Alex threw out half-hazardly, yawning once again as he continued his ascent. When he finally reached his room and plopped unceremoniously on the bed, he was out like a light.