COTE: Hikigaya's Classroom of the Supreme Being

"Mmm~ As expected of a limited edition dessert. It's absolutely delicious… Hm? You're not eating? It's amazing, you know."

Kiryuuin eagerly devoured the towering sundae before her, showering it with praise while urging Hikigaya to try some.

Since it was a couples-only special, the portion was meant for two.

Still, it seemed like she could finish it all by herself.

"I'll pass. You can have it."

Hikigaya responded coolly, sipping on his coffee instead.

"Huh? You sound like you're sulking… Ah." Kiryuuin suddenly clapped her hands together as if realizing something. "You're worried about sharing saliva, aren't you? Don't worry, I don't mind. After all, you're my adorable kouhai."

"…Kiryuuin-senpai."

Even though Hikigaya was well aware of how narcissistic she could be, hearing this still made him lose his composure a little.

"You've got it all wrong. I'm the one who minds, okay?"

"Why? I'm a beautiful girl!"

"Don't say that about yourself!"

What a shameless person. Hikigaya had never met anyone who could brag about themselves like this—no, actually, maybe this wasn't the first time.

"Alright, alright, I was just teasing you. But seriously, you've been in a bad mood for a while now."

Kiryuuin waved her hand dismissively, looking as if she had already figured everything out.

"I know what's on your mind. You're worried about that girl from earlier, right? It's not a big deal. Those types of girls are easy to appease. Just buy her a little gift before you go back."

"…Can you not make it sound like I'm some kind of player?" Hikigaya replied, exasperated.

Seriously, this shameless senpai was a repeat offender.

Though Matsushita had left with her friends without saying anything, that silence was exactly what made it more terrifying.

Up until now, their relationship had never been anything more than casual acquaintances. So why would she be upset?

—Could it be that Matsushita actually…

"Speaking of which, that girl wasn't the same big-breasted one from last time, right?"

Kiryuuin's sudden remark interrupted Hikigaya's thoughts. She even reached out to poke his cheek playfully.

"Heh, you sure are popular. Be careful you don't get stabbed."

"Idiot."

"Huh? Is that any way to talk to your senpai?!"

When it came to showing respect to his seniors, Hikigaya felt that Kiryuuin had no right to lecture him.

Still, mentioning Kushida did remind him of something.

Back then, he had seriously believed that Kushida had feelings for him and had even tried to discourage her in advance—what a disaster that had been. Just remembering it made him want to die of embarrassment.

There was no way he could afford to misinterpret things again!

Hachiman's sanity wouldn't survive it!

"Just to clarify, I have no romantic relationship with either Matsushita or Kushida."

"Really? That big-breasted girl hasn't confessed to you yet?" Kiryuuin seemed genuinely surprised.

"Of course not… And stop calling her that!" Hikigaya scolded her.

"Haha, it's fine, it's fine," Kiryuuin smirked. "If a guy called her that, it'd be sexual harassment, but between girls, it's fine. That aside, are you sure you've got nothing going on with her? You seem pretty concerned."

"I'm not just concerned about her; I'm concerned about you too."

Hikigaya rolled his eyes.

"So, senpai, how is your special training going? Are you getting along with Miss Haruno?"

"Ugh, don't even mention that."

To his surprise, Kiryuuin let out a deep sigh. It was rare to see her like this.

"That damn woman tricked me. She told me a few days ago that she won't be coming back for the third semester since her internship is over… Wait, doesn't that mean she just used me for free?" Kiryuuin rubbed her chin, looking genuinely bewildered.

As part of their deal, she was supposed to help take down Nagumo in return.

Not that Hikigaya had ever expected her to uphold it.

He had known from the start that Haruno would be leaving, but he hadn't mentioned it. After all, even false hope could be meaningful.

Now, however, the excuse to let go had finally appeared.

"Kiryuuin-senpai, since Haruno has already left, why don't you just drop it?" Hikigaya suggested quietly.

"Hah! You wish!"

Kiryuuin suddenly grabbed his wrist, pretending to be menacing.

"Even if that wicked woman is gone, you're not getting away. From now on, you'll be my punching bag!"

"…I don't mind keeping you company, but that won't improve your skills. How about I just repay you with points instead?"

"Hey, don't take it so seriously."

Kiryuuin pouted, letting go of his hand.

But Hikigaya wasn't done yet.

"Honestly, I thought someone with your talent could succeed if you tried. But now, without a proper coach, even talent won't be enough… Being too obsessed with revenge isn't a good thing."

"Oh? Are you worried about me?"

Unfortunately, no matter what he said, Kiryuuin refused to take it seriously, gazing at him with an amused smirk.

"No, I just… Never mind."

Realizing there was no point in hiding it, Hikigaya decided to be blunt.

"You saw the forum announcement, right? If not, go check it now. No matter how hard you train, you'll never beat Ayanokouji. You should give up."

"That's true."

"So you should— Wait, what?"

Before saying that, Hikigaya had expected her to be upset or dismissive. He hadn't expected her to agree so readily.

Before saying those words, Hikigaya had considered that Kiryuuin might be displeased or indifferent. The only thing he hadn't expected was how easily she would agree.

"I didn't expect that Ayanokouji could take on four people at once—one of them being that Black mixed-race guy from Class C. Just dealing with him alone was already tough for me."

Kiryuuin admitted her own inadequacy without hesitation.

"But I'm curious—you never actually said who you were planning to take revenge on, right? How did you know it was Ayanokouji, junior?"

"…That's a dumb question."

"Heh, yeah, it is a little dumb." Kiryuuin laughed brightly. "Then let me ask properly—when did you figure it out?"

Hikigaya let out a small sigh before answering. "The moment you had the front desk hand me the SD card that day, I felt something was off. Then later, you mentioned special training for revenge. And since I already know Ayanokouji's true nature, it wasn't hard to put the pieces together."

"I see… I already knew you were sharp, but you still managed to exceed my expectations."

Kiryuuin gave him an honest look of admiration before smiling slightly.

"So, in the end, Ayanokouji exposed his hidden abilities out of jealousy… But behind all that, it was actually you pulling the strings, wasn't it?"

"No, I just gave it a little push."

"Hahaha, as expected, you're the scarier one."

As she spoke, Kiryuuin suddenly stood up and leaned in close to Hikigaya's ear.

"Hey, junior, don't tell me you went after Ayanokouji because you like me?"

"No."

"I can give you a chance, you know? Want to try dating me?"

"No."

"Hah! You rejected me instantly!"

Kiryuuin burst into exaggerated laughter before plopping back onto the sofa.

"If I were a normal girl, I'd be crying by now."

"Oh? Good thing you're not, then."

Just as Hikigaya had expected, this woman was only messing with him.

This habitual offender was seriously getting on his nerves…

Unwilling to be teased endlessly, Hikigaya decided to strike back. "Kiryuuin-senpai, I hope you give up on revenge—not because I care about Ayanokouji, but because going after him alone would just be throwing yourself to the wolves."

"From the way things are now, that's true." Kiryuuin didn't argue. "But aside from fighting, I can't think of any other way. Cross-grade interactions are rare, and events like the sports festival are just tests of athleticism. I have no confidence I can win."

Hikigaya shook his head. "No, what I mean is—if you can't handle him alone, why not find allies?"

"Allies?"

"Yeah, you see it all the time in manga, right? Before taking on the final boss, the protagonist always gathers reliable companions."

Although Hikigaya deliberately brought up a topic that might interest her, Kiryuuin didn't seem convinced. She even gave him a look that said, "I'm not falling for that."

"You're not trying to trick me into leading the second-year Class B, are you?"

"What, you can't do it?"

"Of course not." Kiryuuin declared matter-of-factly. "Even if I am a genius in both brains and brawn, I can't create something out of nothing. I don't have the leadership skills to command people, nor do I have the ability to form a group. To be honest, I've never had anyone I could truly call a friend… but, well."

She suddenly looked at Hikigaya with a teasing smile.

"If we were in the same class, I might have considered assisting you."

"…Save it."

Hikigaya was momentarily stunned before letting out a weary sigh.

"I don't even want to bother with my own class's affairs. And hypotheticals like that are meaningless."

"Heh, true."

After all, neither skipping grades nor repeating years was possible at this school.

"Speaking of which, I remember you once told me something, senpai."

"Huh? What did I say?"

"You said, 'It doesn't matter where—what's important is taking the first step.' That was you, wasn't it?"

Hikigaya mimicked Kiryuuin's serious expression from the sports festival as he repeated her words.

"Uh, that was…"

"At the time, your speech was so convincing. I was almost moved."

"No, actually—"

"You even told me not to regret it, to try changing even if I wasn't good at it. But when it comes to your matters, you're acting completely different, huh?"

Hikigaya ignored Kiryuuin's increasingly reddening face and continued his mockery.

And then—he was swiftly punished.

"You arrogant little junior! Can't you see my sundae is melting?!"

"What? Where's the melti—mmph?!"

Before Hikigaya could even finish his sentence, Kiryuin shoved a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth, aggressively stuffing it in as if she was trying to shut him up completely.

Damn that white-haired senior. When she couldn't win an argument, she resorted to this tactic.

Isn't that just playing dirty?!

...

"Ugh, my stomach… this is awful."

After being tormented by Kiryuin for hours, Hikigaya had not only been force-fed half of an enormous sundae but was also coerced into treating her to yakiniku afterward.

Thankfully, he was still in his teenage years, or else this extreme temperature contrast might have really done him in.

By the time he checked his phone, the sky was already completely dark. It was almost 7 PM.

Had they really spent this long messing around? Well, it was Christmas, so maybe it wasn't such a big deal.

But there was a far more pressing issue.

His phone screen showed not just the time and weather but also nearly a hundred unread messages.

What now…? This is terrifying.

Hikigaya shuddered involuntarily, his steps slowing as he neared the dorms.

For some reason, he had a bad feeling about going back right now.

Normally, it wouldn't be a problem. He could just rush back to his room, lock the door, and burrow under the covers to play dead.

After all, it was winter break. No need to go outside… huh? What about after school starts?

Obviously, that's a problem for future me.

The issue was that Kushida still had a spare key to his room.

It wasn't like he hadn't tried to get it back, but she always dodged the topic with skillful deflections. Eventually, she didn't even bother pretending anymore.

Long story short, she wasn't giving it back.

"…Forget it. Since it's Christmas, I might as well wander around for a bit."

On any other day, Hikigaya would never voluntarily roam around during a holiday drenched in pink-hued romance. The sheer number of couples flaunting their happiness would be enough to blind him.

But tonight… whatever. Let them shine. They'd all explode sooner or later anyway!

Lost in his thoughts, he wandered through the shopping mall, only to find that every single store was a no-go zone for lonely souls like him.

Even standing at the entrance took considerable courage.

Christmas and Valentine's Day—two holidays universally acknowledged as doomsdays for the single.

"Oi, Matsunaga, what the hell are you doing?!"

A loud voice of frustration pulled Hikigaya out of his thoughts.

He turned toward the commotion and saw a store clerk dressed as Santa being scolded by a middle-aged woman. Judging by the elegant Christmas cakes displayed on the table, she was likely the shop owner.

Glancing at the broken cake on the floor, it wasn't hard to guess what had happened.

"I'm sorry! Please deduct the cost from my salary!"

The employee—Matsunaga—bowed deeply, his face filled with guilt. But the shop owner wasn't letting up.

"This isn't just about the money! Matsunaga, you didn't even graduate high school! Honestly, I shouldn't have hired you in the first place. I only did it as a favor!"

"Yes, I truly appreciate the opportunity!"

"If you keep making these careless mistakes, I won't be able to keep you on, even as a favor."

"I promise it won't happen again!"

The woman finally left after her lengthy scolding, leaving Matsunaga standing awkwardly by the stall.

Hikigaya sighed as he shook his head.

Come on, it's Christmas. Cut the guy some slack.

The mall was beautifully decorated, brimming with festive cheer. Shoppers were thoroughly enjoying themselves.

Don't ruin the mood over something trivial… You might get reported for that, you know?

Still, dropping out of high school? That was unusual. Even if someone struggled academically, there were always schools willing to take them in. Education made job hunting easier, too.

People who skipped high school either chose to become shut-ins—some never leaving their homes for decades—or had financial troubles… Sigh. Well, good luck to him.

It wasn't like Hikigaya could do anything about it. All he could do was silently wish the guy well.

Now, where could he kill some time?

After another round of wandering, he settled on the bookstore—the one place where couples were the rarest species.

Technically, loitering without buying anything wasn't ideal since it hurt the store's business. But he decided he'd buy whatever he read, so it was fine.

By the time he finally headed to the cashier, it was nearly 9 PM.

The dorm curfew was at 8 PM, so not even Kushida would show up at his room at this hour… probably.

Regardless, he couldn't stay out much longer.

"Welcome! Would you like a Christmas cake?"

As he left the bookstore, a loud sales pitch rang out.

It was that same employee from before, now eagerly trying to sell the remaining cakes.

Seriously? He still hasn't closed the shop?

Hikigaya sighed as he watched. While normies were just getting started with their romantic nightouts, poor part-timers were still stuck working.

At the very least, he could help them wrap up early.

Thinking it over, he walked up to the stall.

"Excuse me, do you have any cakes left?"

"Yes! They're 10,000 yen each… Ah, right, I should say personal points here, huh?"

The guy scratched his head sheepishly. He was new and still getting used to the school's bizarre system.

Wait, 10,000 yen for this tiny cake?

Is this highway robbery in the name of Christmas?

That's Thanksgiving's job!

…But I already asked. It'd be embarrassing to back out now.

"…I'll take three."

"Three?! Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Hikigaya nodded nonchalantly. "I'm throwing a party. Three might not even be enough."

"Heh, got it! I'll pack them up for you."

"No need, just a bag is fine. I'm eating them right away."

"Oh, alright then."

After paying, Hikigaya took the cakes and walked off, ignoring the odd look the guy gave him.

Weird. What's with that expression?

Did he… figure it out?

No, impossible.

Hikigaya shook his head vigorously. If he dwelled on it, the sheer embarrassment would kill him.

His act was flawless. Absolutely perfect!

"Excuse me! Please wait a moment!"

A sudden voice called out from behind.

Turning around, he saw the employee running toward him.

Did I drop something?

"Um, if you don't mind, please take this as well."

He held out a small box filled with canned black coffee.

"These are complimentary gifts from the store. Since you made a big purchase, please accept our gratitude."

"Oh, uh, I don't—"

"Also, this coffee pairs really well with our cakes. Please enjoy!"

"…Alright, thanks."

Unable to refuse, Hikigaya took the box.

The employee bowed deeply, then turned to leave.

But halfway through, he suddenly turned back with a bright smile.

"Oh, and one more thing—Merry Christmas!"

"Uh…" Hikigaya stood frozen, lost in thought.

Seriously… seriously… seriously…

Did he really see through me?

Hahaha… No way… No…

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I want to die!

Damn it, why did I have to act cool?!

This doesn't fit my character at all!

If it weren't for being outside, he was confident he'd be rolling on the ground in agony, maybe even smashing his head into something to end it all.

Ugh… Why did this have to happen?

This is the worst Christmas ever.

With a heavy heart, Hikigaya staggered back to his room, step by unsteady step.

Just as he pulled out his key to unlock the door, it suddenly opened from the inside… Huh?

"Hachiman, why are you back so late? Did you have fun with Ichinose-san?"

"It wasn't Ichinose-san, was it? It was that beautiful senpai, Kiryuin. The two of you were in the café, sharing spoonfuls of that limited-edition couple's sundae, looking oh-so-happy together."

"Hikigaya-kun, is your phone broken? Or were you deliberately ignoring my messages? Hmm?"

Staring at the three girls before him, who looked as menacing as vengeful spirits, Hikigaya could almost see the word "Danger" flashing above his head.

He stood there, frozen, for a long moment before slowly raising the bag in his hand.

"Um… Want some cake?"