Crazy Britain:They’re All Raising Me

"Weak and feeble."

With a single sword strike, Will smashed the upper body of the last Chaos Mech Soldier into a pulp. Then, with his other hand, he grabbed a large-caliber machine gun looted from the enemy, shoved it into the gaping hole in the mech's chest, and pulled the trigger.

A violent explosion followed, as the bullets—amplified by his Gun Demon Mystic Eye—tore the Chaos Mech Soldier to pieces.

"They really are just cannon fodder… nothing more than a warm-up."

Dusting his hands off, Will muttered indifferently.

It hadn't even been three minutes, and the swarm of monsters charging at him had already been reduced to a pile of corpses and wreckage.

"That was amazing!" Ritsuka Fujimaru quickly ran up, full of enthusiasm, shamelessly flattering him. "What kind of sword technique was that just now? It was so cool! So fluid from start to finish, it was like a piece of art! Master, the way you fought just now… I almost fainted from how dashing you looked!"

"Alright, that's enough. That bootlicking was so over-the-top I'm getting goosebumps."

Though he said that, Ritsuka noticed the slight upward curve at the corner of Will's mouth. Clearly, he wasn't as immune to praise as he pretended to be.

Catching that subtle reaction, Ritsuka nodded to herself in satisfaction.

Heh—there's a reason they say flattery never fails, especially with a guy like this who clearly has zero interest in suppressing his desires or maintaining a high moral standard. A bit of fangirling and worshipping goes a long way.

"How can you call it flattery? Master, you're just too modest!"

She scooted closer, eyes sparkling with exaggerated admiration.

"Your devoted little maid was only expressing her genuine feelings!"

Will averted his gaze slightly and replied with a flat, "Oh? Is that so?"

Perfect. That reaction meant her emotional investment was right on point.

While Ritsuka was silently tallying up her success, Will suddenly sheathed his sword and handed her the scabbard.

"But don't think a few sweet words will get you out of your punishment… Hold this in your mouth. Don't worry—I made sure it's clean. No oil or blood on it. You'll be fine."

"Uh… what?"

Ritsuka felt a part of her soul breaking.

Wait, are you actually immune to charm? Can't you show a little pity? That scabbard looks heavy—what if my jaw gets dislocated?!

But Will gave her no room to argue. The thin scabbard was forced between her lips almost immediately.

"Mmph—mmph—mmphhh!"

"Ah… peace and quiet at last."

With that faint sigh of relief, Will strode forward.

"You two, keep up."

"Mmph mmph!"

Ritsuka turned to Mash with teary eyes, silently begging for rescue.

Mash, however, gave her a sympathetic but encouraging look.

"Hang in there, Senpai. Based on the current frequency of monster ambushes in the mist, you probably won't have to hold it for much longer. Just try not to get punished again! I believe in you!"

...

Unfortunately, Mash's prediction turned out to be completely wrong.

They made it all the way to their destination—a rather grand, though slightly worn-down, estate—without encountering a single enemy.

Just when Ritsuka felt her jaw might finally fall off from holding that damn scabbard, Will suddenly stopped in his tracks and extended a hand toward her.

"No enemies so far, but things feel… off. Guess you're lucky. Hand it over."

"Mmwaaaaahhh!!"

Tears in her eyes, Ritsuka practically threw the sword and scabbard at Will in frustration.

"Tch, what kind of attitude is that? And what the hell was that screech just now?"

Catching the scabbard with one hand and shaking off the lingering saliva with a look of disgust, Will muttered.

"Tragic… her jaw is probably seriously sore by now. Senpai's pretty much lost the ability to speak." Mash sighed. "I'll translate from here on out. What she just said was 'Finally, it's over.'"

"…What kind of ridiculous caveman language is that? Sounds like an idiot talking."

Will frowned.

"Mmwahh! Mmwahh mmwahh ahh mwah!"

"…Um." Mash hesitated this time.

For safety reasons, she chose not to translate Ritsuka's latest rant.

Because she clearly heard her Senpai cursing: "You bastard! You'll die a horrible death!"

Even someone as determined as Ritsuka, hell-bent on taming Will one day, couldn't hold back her rage after suffering through that ridiculous punishment game.

Fortunately, Will didn't seem to care what she was saying at all.

"In any case, you'd better stay close. Up ahead is our destination—Doctor Victor Frankenstein's estate."

At long last, Will revealed a bit of intel.

"Victor Frankenstein?!"

"Mmmwahh mmwahh?! (For real?!)"

Mash and Ritsuka both widened their eyes in shock.

"But isn't Dr. Victor Frankenstein a fictional character from the sci-fi novel Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus?"

Mash quickly recovered and muttered to herself, "—No, sorry. Given that Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde have already shown up, I suppose this Victor must be the basis for those stories as well. If he created artificial life… could it be that Victor, like Jekyll, dabbled in both science and magecraft?"

"Hmph. At least you're not completely dumb."

Will nodded slightly and strode toward the mansion.

"But unlike that half-assed amateur Jekyll who barely knows any magecraft, Victor's a full-fledged magus. This house is rigged with all kinds of bounded fields and traps. If you walk in blind, even a Servant might get hurt. If you don't want to die, Ritsuka, you'd better watch my movements carefully and step exactly where I step."

"Wahwah! (Understood!)"

According to Jekyll's memories, before the singularity appeared, he had traveled widely in search of a way to create the potion that could separate good from evil within a person. One of the people he sought out was none other than Victor Frankenstein.

Just like in the novel Frankenstein, Victor had long been researching how to create life from corpses. But unlike the fictional version, the real Victor used magecraft—not science—to achieve his goal.

And his final creation was none other than the Berserker-class Servant: Frankenstein.

"I wonder if the old man's experiment was a success by now… No, even back when I met him, he was close. After all this time, he's probably done it."

Will murmured, recalling the Frankenstein that had appeared in the Fourth Singularity.

Hopefully, that part of the story hadn't changed. If it had, he might really be screwed.

"First, be careful with this door. If I remember correctly, the correct way to open it is… knock three times lightly, then reach for the handle…"

As he spoke, Will reached out toward the door.

And the moment his hand touched it, the door seemed to come alive.

Sharp fangs, glowing with a purplish-black aura, sprouted from the frame and lunged down toward his head.

But before they could strike, Will calmly caught them with one hand.

"Oh," he said, his expression darkening, "that old bastard's really got issues."

With that, he twisted the fangs off with a snap, then pulled out his sword and smashed it straight into the doorframe.

Though the frame was lined with magical glyphs and reinforced enchantments, they stood no chance against Will's sheer brute force. It was reduced to splinters instantly.

"Um… Mr. Hyde, was that really the proper way to open the door?"

Mash asked, stunned.

"Of course not. Isn't it obvious this damn door's not normal?"

Will turned around and snapped, "Clearly the old bastard changed the entry test again. What a pain…"

Sighing, he muttered, "I should've known. With my luck, it always ends up like this. No point trying to think things through or plan ahead—it always comes down to one thing: switching to my red mode."

"In that case, I might as well start with it."

"Huh?" Mash blinked. "You mean…"

"I mean smash everything in my way."

With a kick, Will blasted the door open and strode into the mansion. But no sooner had he taken two steps than beams of ominous light shot down from the ceiling, targeting him.

He leapt up and smashed the chandelier to pieces with a punch.

Then turned to the others.

"What are you standing around for? Move!"

"Is this really okay?" Mash hesitated. "Charging into a magus' workshop like this… it just feels wrong…"

"What's the problem?" Will replied, just as a massive hound-shaped construct emerged from the floor and lunged at him.

With a lazy kick, he shattered its skull and shrugged.

"My fists are bigger."

From that point forward, everything that happened before Mash and Ritsuka was sheer violence.

Will strode confidently through the estate, triggering every single trap and defense mechanism—then destroying them all with sheer brute strength. Three punches, two kicks, and every mystic ward, flame turret, or cursed statue crumbled to dust.

It was a live demonstration of the phrase: overwhelming force breaks all tricks.

"I kinda want to learn Bajiquan now…"

Still cradling her sore jaw, Ritsuka muttered under her breath.

"Please. With your scrawny frame? You think you can become a muscle-bound killing machine?"

Will turned to mock her—only to spot something in the corner of his eye.

A long, thin shape, roughly the width of a human forearm, was slowly creeping toward them from the ceiling.

It was something bizarre—half insect, half clockwork. Like a centipede made of linked alarm clocks, each segment sprouting tiny mechanical legs and twitching mandibles.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

The sound was unmistakable.

Will's eyes widened.

"Get down!!"

He bolted toward them.

And just as he moved, the clock-centipede exploded—unleashing a torrent of azure flames and a shockwave that tore through the corridor. Mash tried to raise her shield, but she was a split second too slow.

Fortunately, Will reached them first.

He grabbed both of them, ripped the shield from Mash's hands, and thrust it forward to absorb the blast.

Then the flames swallowed them whole.

The explosion was monstrous—far stronger than any of the previous traps. It obliterated the entire corridor, blasting the ceiling into the sky.

And from within the smoke and debris, a voice rang out—gleeful and unhinged:

"AHAHAHAHAHA—cough cough—hahaha, I choked on the smoke! I thought he'd be tough, but Tick-Tock-kun just sent him flying!"

The figure finally emerged through the haze—a flamboyantly dressed clown with pale purple hair, his face painted bone-white, arms wrapped in squirming clock-centipedes.

Before he could laugh again, a shadow burst through the mist.

Will.

He lashed out with a spinning kick straight into the clown's face, sending him flying.

"I thought that bomb-bug looked familiar… it's you, Mephistopheles."

"Blood, guts, and fireworks—you reek of it all… Don't tell me you killed Victor, you bastard?"

Will's eyes narrowed as the temperature around him dropped.

"Looks like you're ready to return to the Throne of Heroes."