Crazy Britain:They’re All Raising Me

"Uh... so these are the reinforcements you found? Reinforcements worth me slogging through twenty dreadfully boring books?"

Adjusting the glasses perched on his nose, a blue-haired boy who had been poring over books in the study lifted his gaze toward Shakespeare at the front of the group, his voice mature and jaded despite his youthful appearance.

"Hah? What's with that tone? Got a problem with us or something?"

Mordred immediately widened her eyes in anger and snapped back, though most of her fury likely stemmed from the embarrassing scene she'd caused upon waking up moments earlier, rather than anything this strangely adult-sounding boy had said.

"Ah... yeah, okay, that was rude of me to say to our reinforcements... I'll reflect on that. The deadline's creeping up and I'm on edge... You get it, right? Writers under deadline pressure—when something awful happens on top of that, our mood turns absolutely foul."

Rubbing his temples, the boy sighed heavily, clearly agitated.

"As you can see, I'm just like that suspicious guy over there—a writer-type Servant with no combat capabilities whatsoever. My True Name is Hans Christian Andersen."

"Eh? You're really the Hans Christian Andersen?" Ritsuka Fujimaru blinked in surprise. "But you look so young?"

"I don't exactly see that as a good thing... probably just means I peaked in childhood. Everything after that was a waste of time."

With a touch of self-loathing, Andersen let out a cynical chuckle before continuing, "Anyway, my appearance is beside the point. The problem is someone I just can't ignore. I need the help of combat-ready, normal Servants like you to deal with them."

"Are we going to fight?" Ritsuka perked up at once. "Do you have any intel on the enemy?"

"Of course... The enemy is a Masterless Servant—or maybe, more accurately, a book," Andersen said. "It invades homes even with the doors and windows sealed, attacks the people inside, and traps them in an endless sleep... If you know even a little about the current state of London, you should understand just how serious this is."

"Being trapped forever in that dreamlike version of London?" Ritsuka's expression darkened. "That's basically murder, isn't it?"

"Whether it counts as murder is a question for later... Regardless, the owner of this bookstore has already fallen into a permanent slumber because of it. And just my luck, that same owner had hired me to write him a story... Do you have any idea how messed up it is to get more than halfway through a draft, only for your client to drop dead?!"

Andersen ranted, clearly furious. "So please, for the sake of my manuscript and my paycheck, help me deal with that cursed book!"

"Got it. So we just need to take out a book, right?" Gawain (Guinevere) nodded. "As absurd as it sounds, in this absurd Singularity, nothing really surprises me anymore... That said, you mentioned it's a Masterless Servant, right? So hypothetically, we might be able to recruit it through negotiation."

By now, he had a rough idea: Andersen wanted them to deal with the Servant known as Nursery Rhyme, who had appeared in the original London chapter. While most heartless Masters saw her as a little girl, canonically she started off as nothing more than a disembodied book... Apparently, she originated from Fate/Extra, though Gawain wasn't too familiar with that title.

Anyway, judging by what happened with Jack, maybe if they could understand her story, they might be able to reach some kind of mutual understanding... and ideally, recruit her.

"That's the idea," Andersen nodded. "If you're ready, we can act now. She's currently upstairs—yeah, just in the room right next to us."

"...Huh?" Everyone blinked.

"She's literally next door, and you're just chilling here reading? Dude, how are you this calm? Also, why hasn't she attacked you again?" Gawain couldn't help but complain.

"This feels like lazy screenwriting," he muttered, "like the writer got bored of plotting out the next steps and just dropped the next boss right nearby so the protagonists could deal with her immediately."

"Alright, enough whining!" Andersen snapped. "How the hell would I know why she stopped after attacking the others? It's not like I gave her instructions!"

"Anyway, shouldn't we avoid fighting indoors?" Mash spoke up nervously. "If we battle in too tight a space, we might hurt any hostages—or Senpai. Maybe we should try to lure her out?"

"I'll go. I'll count on the rest of you to cover me," Gawain said as he quickly walked over to the other room and flung the door open.

Predictably, the moment his hand touched the doorknob, the door exploded into splinters as a powerful magic missile blasted through, shattering the door and slamming straight into Gawain.

"Wha...?"

Stunned, Gawain stood there with his mouth agape, locking eyes with his equally stunned teammates.

If the magic missile had come after he opened the door, even with his below-average Servant reflexes, he probably could've dodged it... But clearly, the enemy had already detected their presence and set up a trap, firing off the attack at the perfect moment.

"I even had a bunch of new runes to test out... Didn't even get to show off a little..."

Muttering this, Gawain collapsed backward, unconscious.

"This is bad," Andersen smacked a palm to his face. "So she did detect us already..."

"Of course I did! Just because I'm a book doesn't mean you can underestimate me!"

From the room floated a book that looked like a children's picture book, its voice trembling but defiant.

"Hold up, what's going on with Jekyll?" Mordred caught Gawain's body before it hit the floor and turned to Andersen.

"Didn't I already say? He'll be fine—just trapped in a permanent dream. Unless we beat the one responsible, he's not waking up!"

"For crying out loud, such a pain in the ass."

Cursing under her breath, Mordred kicked off the ground and instantly vanished, reappearing in the other room. Without hesitation, she slashed at the floating red book:

"Get outta here already! Give Jekyll back!"

But then—something unexpected happened. Her sword passed right through the book, missing entirely and smashing into the wall behind it, blasting it apart with red magical energy. The ground trembled and several books tumbled from nearby shelves.

"What the hell?" Mordred turned around, scowling.

"It's useless! That thing may look like a book, but it's just an illusion. A bounded field, or to put it another way, a concept given form!"

Andersen shouted from the hallway:

"At this stage, both physical and magical attacks are totally ineffective! What, you think you can slash a concept out of existence?"

"What kind of bull is that?!" Mordred barked. "If it can't be hurt, why the hell did you call us here?! You messing with us?!"

"Do I look like an idiot?! Sure, you can't kill a concept—but you can kill me if this goes south!"

Andersen snapped right back.

"That's why I already prepared another solution... Look, don't panic. That Jekyll guy is just asleep. If we act fast, he'll wake up soon!"

He refocused his gaze on the book fluttering through the air and shouted:

"Since it currently lacks a true body, we just need to give it one!"

"Based on my analysis, this Servant reflects its Master's mental state. And since it's a book, it clearly doesn't have a Master yet!"

"The reason it's been attacking locals and the bookstore owner is because it's searching for a suitable Master!"

"In other words, this thing—being the embodiment of dreams—is just trying to find a vessel to become a pseudo-Servant! So..."

"Ohhh!" Ritsuka exclaimed, realization dawning. "If we help it get a body, then we can defeat it, right?"

"Correct!"

Andersen snapped his fingers and gave Ritsuka an approving look.

"So how do we give it a body?" Mash asked.

"That's my job!"

With a flourish, Andersen summoned a book into his hand and began flipping through its pages. A feathered pen appeared, poised in the air.

"I'll now give this cursed book a story—and a name. That will grant it form! That's why I had to dig through over twenty volumes before you got here!"

"So, brace yourselves! Accursed book, your name has already been decided. From now on, you shall be—"

"No way I'm letting you do that! You think I'm that stupid?!"

Before Andersen could finish, the red book suddenly twisted in the air and darted straight toward the unconscious Gawain—vanishing directly into his head.

"...Huh?"

Everyone froze.

"What the hell was that supposed to be?" Mordred yelled, eyes wide.

"Uhh..."

After a two-second silence, Andersen frowned and muttered,

"Feels like... she did it to prevent us from destroying her. She voluntarily dove into that guy's dream?"