DASH

"Leaving behind a decade-long career as an athlete and starting a new life, I realized one thing. If you decide something, you need to act immediately. Endless hesitation and procrastination still do not change the final result. The longer you delay, the harder it is to get moving, and all that agonizing over turns out to be nothing more than a waste of time."

Ji Hong felt this especially keenly when he gave up swimming and began to study for exams. It would be better if instead of being tormented by doubts whether to quit or not, he left sports early and sat down to study textbooks. Every time he worked late into the night over his textbooks, he regretted it. From then on, as soon as the period of indecision dragged on, he always remembered that incident. After that, he could no longer afford to hesitate.
It's the same with a child. Once I decided to give birth - there is nothing more to think about. Moreover, in this case, it was impossible to act indecisively, because after all, the child in the stomach has no one else to rely on, except for himself. This meant that if everything is fine with the genes, then how the pregnancy will go depends entirely on him. In such a situation, it was impossible to just sit back and think "somehow it will work itself out".
Therefore, two days after his trip to Ilsan, Ji Hong immediately went to the antenatal clinic. Although for more accurate results, it would have been better to wait a week, as Dr. Im advised, but he simply could not wait.

Fortunately, the blood tests were good. The level of hCG, which just three days ago was balancing on the verge of pregnancy at a reading of 23 mIU/ml, now jumped sharply to three digits, and the rest of the indicators were also normal. The doctor confirmed that Ji Hong had just entered the fourth week of pregnancy, and he learned that when calculating the period, the period is not counted from the moment of implantation.
- Doctor, may I ask one question?
As soon as the doctor finished his explanations, Ji Hong asked about what had been bothering him for a long time.

- I took contraceptives after... after intimacy. Won't it harm the child?
- There are practically no cases of pathologies due to contraceptives.
The middle-aged doctor reassured Ji Hong in a soft but confident tone.

"Yes, I heard... But the thing is, my partner... That is, the future pa... Pa also took them. Therefore...
"Oh my God, 'Daddy'!"
Ji Hong himself was horrified by his words. Watching him almost bite his tongue at the unusual word, the doctor raised an eyebrow.

"Is that so?"
But this time he answered as if nothing had happened:
"It's the same anyway. Contraceptives affect only fertilization and implantation, so by the time the embryo is successfully implanted, the effect of the drug can be considered zero.

However, the doctor added that regardless of taking contraceptives, male omegas have a higher risk of early miscarriage due to chromosomal abnormalities.
- Usually, the placenta is weaker than in women, and the function of the uterus is reduced, so you will have to closely monitor the condition until at least the twelfth week.
"That's right," Ji Hong muttered quietly. Although he knew about it before, for some reason hearing directly from the doctor made him take the situation more seriously. Apparently, this was reflected in his face, because the doctor smiled good-naturedly.

- Don't worry so much. After all, there are many more cases when the pregnancy goes well and the child is born healthy. I myself have three children, and all of them are absolutely healthy. There were no problems. On the contrary, constant worries and stress are what is harmful to the baby.
Then, apparently wanting to cheer Ji Hong, the doctor laughed loudly and joked:
- Wow, what a character the baby has! I haven't really formed yet, but I've already defeated both dads!
Ji Hong immediately understood the meaning of the reviews about the hospital, where they wrote that the doctor was very kind and good, but sometimes too talkative, and if he managed to catch a common wave with him, then it would be convenient to go to the hospital.

Back home, Ji Hong ordered vitamins online that the doctor recommended and installed several pregnancy apps on his phone.
Since the baby didn't even have a temporary name yet, he left the field for the child's name blank and only entered the names of the parents, and the feeling was really... really strange. The fact that Jae Kyung was a dad seemed unusual and wild, and the fact that he was a dad himself was even more unbelievable.
"Wow, I've lived to see this day..." - still looking through the application in a slight shock, he laughed when he read that in the fourth week the embryo is the size of a sesame seed. The doctor's expression that the baby was not yet properly formed could not have been more accurate. He laughed for a long time at the fact that in a week this seed would grow as much as twice (!) and become the size of a grain of rice, but when he came to the information that most miscarriages occur between the sixth and twelfth weeks, he suddenly became serious.

Of course he knew. He knew that statistically there were much more cases of successful births. But in such a situation, the statistics were not particularly comforting. Even if it was ten people out of a hundred, no one guaranteed that he wouldn't be among those ten. When it comes to you personally, it's always so scary and unsettling.
Therefore, he decided to tell Jae Kyung only after the twelfth week. Knowing his character, he will not be able to just rejoice because of anxiety even from one news of pregnancy, and if a miscarriage occurs, he will be doubly upset. Even though it is an inevitable part of life that many parents go through, Ji Hong didn't want to see Jae Kyung suffer. In addition, he is an athlete participating in this year's Olympics. Next month, the first qualifying round, and in early April - the second. Getting a psychological trauma in such an important period is a failure in itself.
"The twelfth week... Mid-March? Just between the first and second qualifying rounds. Yes, the time is right."

While Ji Hong was checking the calendar, Jae Kyung called.
"Well, you're not a gentleman either."
Ji Hong smiled and picked up the phone.

-Hello.
[Have you been to the hospital?]
As usual, without greeting immediately to the point. Apparently, he called to find out the results, since Ji Hong said that he would go for a second examination.

- Yes, they confirmed that all hormonal indicators are normal, and installed a new chip.
[Chip installed?]
In the intonation, one could hear "did you really put it on again?"

- Of course, I did, but of course.
Ji Hong made an innocent face and said in a deliberately serious tone.
"Hey, you understand, don't you?" When you come back, we won't be able to see each other until the Olympics.

[What? Why?]
Ji Hong wanted to tease him, but when Jae Kyung reacted as if he was hearing about it for the first time, he was confused himself.
"Why?" Your lactate level jumps so much when you're with me. Were you going to continue to be together all the time?

[Ah, hyung, you know, I did an experiment here.]
Jae Kyung spoke as if he had just remembered.
- What experiment?

[The increase in lactate due to pheromones comes from the activation of the sympathetic nervous system, right? So I was looking for ways to stabilize it.]
"So what?..
Ji Hong asked with a sense of foreboding.

And exactly.
[They say you have to meditate.]
Just as he thought, that word came out of Jae Kyung's mouth.

"Wait, wait."
Ji Hong barely suppressed his laughter.
"So that's why you started meditating?" Was it not part of the training?

[Huh? Well... If you think about it, this can also be called training.] "Self-control training," Jae-kyung said brazenly. And before Ji Hong could say anything, he quickly blurted out the result.
[In general, after a few days of practice, lactate levels really started to drop.
-A what? Really? And when did you manage to measure?

[I measured it after each meditation. There is a blood analyzer in the toilet. Min Woo-hyun brought it along with the medicine ball.]
"So that's why he went to the toilet after meditating," Ji Hong finally understood. And he looked satisfied, apparently because he saw how the lactate level was falling.
It is not surprising that he left for Malaysia so easily before the end of the vacation - Jae Kyung simply did not consider this vacation to be the last. Once he had finally reached the point where he could control the sympathetic nervous system through meditation, there was no need to worry about the effects of pheromones anymore.

However, according to Ji Hong, this was not so much the effect of meditation (meditation was doomed to failure from the very beginning, given that its purpose was to curb carnal desires), but the fact that after fertilization, the level of pheromones dropped dramatically. No, it was exactly so.
But right now, he couldn't tell Jae Kyung about it. Not only to hide the fact of pregnancy, but also because he did not want to disappoint Jae-kyung, who sincerely believed in his ability to control the sympathetic nervous system. No, to be even more honest, he was so nice that I wanted to let him continue to be deluded.
-Yes... Listen, well done. Wow, I didn't even know that you were conducting such experiments.

Ji Hong pretended to be impressed. Jae Kyung, as if he had been waiting for just that, began to seriously report on the results of his experiment.
[On Monday, when I measured it for the first time, it was about 6 millimoles, the next day the readings dropped to 5, and then as much as 3 millimoles. Therefore, I think five days are enough for the sympathetic nervous system, activated by pheromones, to fully return to its normal rhythm.
No matter how hard he tried to express himself decently, the essence was the same: "I'll be nice all week and keep myself in shape somehow, so don't worry, we can do whatever we want on the weekend." Ji Hong agreed with "yes, yes", and then suddenly said in a seemingly serious tone:

"Listen, Jae Kyung-ah. What's the point of being in the same space if you can't even hold hands, you can't even touch, only meditate? It's even more painful this way. It's better not to see each other at all before the Olympics. Only the {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} first days are hard, and then you quickly get used to it...
[I don't want to.]
Jae Kyung cut off abruptly before he could even finish listening.

-Why? You said that being around and doing nothing is worse than torture.
[This is nonsense.]
Jae Kyung clicked his tongue.

[Even if you don't do anything, it's still better to be around.]
He said that now that he had left, he understood it for sure, and there was such sincerity in his voice that his heart ached.
As a result, when Ji Hong went to the hospital the day before Jae Kyung returned, after the ultrasound, he overcame his shame and asked about the intimate relationship during pregnancy.

- After the twelfth week, you can.
- ... And before this time it is completely impossible?
- Wait until the twelfth week.

The doctor repeated the same answer in a mild tone. While Ji Hong was pondering whether to ask if it was possible without penetration, the doctor, as if reading his thoughts, spoke himself:
- Now many people believe that you can do it at any time without penetration. They say it even helps emotional stability. But I still recommend waiting until the second trimester. When the nipples are stimulated, oxytocin is released, which causes the uterus to contract. Therefore...
- Oh, then you definitely can't.

Watching Ji Hong quickly nod, resigned, the doctor who gave birth to three children added with the air of a sage:
- Anyway, because of hormones, there will be no desire. You'll see. All day long I feel nauseous, tired, heaviness in the whole body, everything infuriates me - just touch it, I want to kick it.