MTLNOVEL #057
#057
I just woke up and came out to wet my throat. I kept feeling thirsty after eating stew for dinner. Haaaaaah. I scratched my belly while yawning widely. Breaking the pre-dawn silence with the sound of dragging feet, I flung open the door. Of course, I didn’t take any precautions. Why would I in my own home? But there was something big and dark crouching in front of the door!
‘Aaagh! What’s this! Fuck off! Die!’
Still half-asleep, I was so startled that I kicked out blindly. At first, I didn’t realize it was Ki Baek-woo, thinking some giant demon egg had suddenly appeared in front of the bedroom. Of course, I figured out it was Ki Baek-woo after a couple of kicks, but I still hit him a bit more. Until Ki Baek-woo groaned, ‘Ugh… urgh.’
“I told you, why are you sitting there getting beaten for no reason! I just came out to drink water, and now I’m wide awake…”
I couldn’t understand why he was leaning against the door of the room where someone was sleeping, instead of just lying on the sofa whether he could sleep or not. I was curious to see what strange thing this bastard would do next.
Ki Baek-woo, who had curled up after being beaten by me, didn’t give any particular answer. His stupid face quietly looked up at me. A face worn with fatigue, eyes blurred as if smudged. Blood pooling between his slightly parted lips, sticky as it flowed.
Ki Baek-woo seemed half out of his mind. During the day, he tries to stay alert by slapping his cheeks or gulping down coffee like water, but now he seemed completely zoned out.
“Ki Baek-woo! Hey! Try to come to your senses.”
I crouched down to meet Ki Baek-woo’s eye level. Ki Baek-woo’s listless gaze persistently followed me. I pulled up the hem of his t-shirt. His thin belly was exposed flat. Complete success with the diet… At this rate, he might really become skin and bones soon, I thought as I wiped his nose with the edge of his t-shirt.
“Do you sleep with your eyes open? Shit, did I hit your head wrong just now… Why can’t you come to your senses?”
The white hem of Ki Baek-woo’s homewear t-shirt quickly turned red. Even though his stomach and chest must be cold with the shirt almost off, Ki Baek-woo just stared blankly at my face. Judging by how he’s blinking slowly, he doesn’t seem to have fainted with his eyes open, but he didn’t move at all even as I was rubbing his nose with his own shirt.
“Ugh, this nosebleed. It’s been coming at all hours since it first started. With this much blood loss, he should have died long ago, why is he still alive?”
Maybe he’s out of it from losing so much blood. I grumbled to myself as I slightly bunched up the hem of the t-shirt and stuffed it into his bleeding right nostril. An awkward posture, neither sitting nor lying down. A dazed face, foggy eyes. Upper body exposed while his nose is plugged with his own shirt. He looked so incredibly stupid that even the village idiot would immediately concede defeat upon seeing him.
He really looks like an idiot. Wow, he’s just a handsome idiot beggar. Ah, how can someone look so pathetic? Wow, I can’t believe Ki Baek-woo could be this messed up. This looks like it would end the game immediately if Jung Yi-dam saw it. Ah, what should I do about this? It’s really kind of funny. No, Ki Baek-woo, really. Ah.
“Hehe.”
“……”
“Kup, hehehe.”
Kekek, kukhuk, hehek… As I grinned, stretching my philtrum, Ki Baek-woo raised his body a little. The way he moved like some four-legged animal made me laugh again, and I made a pig-like sound, “kup.” Ki Baek-woo’s eyelids trembled.
“…Hyung.”
A locked metal voice mumbled. His already slurred pronunciation sounded like panting breaths blocked by the t-shirt. When I wrinkled my nose with a “kung,” Ki Baek-woo reached out his hand. A thin, ivory-pale hand that trembled weakly touched my cheek. It’s cold.
“What?”
“Hyung…”
“Ki Baek-woo, are you awake now- no, hey, what?”
“Alive, hyung, I’m alive. Hyung.”
“Hey, what’s wrong with you, why are you suddenly crying? Are you really crazy?”
Ki Baek-woo’s disheveled eyes seemed to ripple as if submerged in water, and then they finally started to overflow. I was bewildered and a bit creeped out when he suddenly started crying for no reason. Crying for no reason with a stupid look and a t-shirt stuffed in his nose made him look like a seriously mentally ill person. I was worried he might suddenly turn violent and attack me, accusing me of planting a listening device in his ear.
What’s really going on here? No, how much of an idiot has the system made this kid? What’s the point of doing this? Ah, I don’t know. If he lunges at me, I’ll have to strangle him immediately. While I was warily glaring at Ki Baek-woo, he kept whispering in a voice that sounded like breathing.
“I’m alive, right? I’m scared. I’m alive. So scared. You’re next to me… I’m scared, I’m not dead… That didn’t happen… I’m scared, I can’t sleep… Hyung… Save me…”
“What is this crazy bastard saying? Hey. You’re very much alive, you know? You won’t die from not sleeping that much, what do you mean ‘save you’? Even though I raised you gently, why are you being so dramatic?”
“Please, hyung… Take me… Don’t go alone… It’s strange, I’m scared… It’s strange…”
“Oh, shit. What kind of nonsense is this after waking up… You’re really pissing me off in every way.”
“I’m scared……”
Ki Baek-woo bent over as if drained. He pressed his forehead against my instep, barely breathing with a locked voice. I thought that while people do go crazy if they can’t sleep, this seemed too extreme. I can’t understand, I just can’t understand…. I shook my head and got up with a groan. I brushed off his forehead.
“Take me with you…”
Crazy bastard or whatever, I need to drink water first. I turned around and headed to the kitchen, my original destination. I poured water into a cup, gulped it down, and put it down carelessly. It didn’t matter because Ki Baek-woo would take care of the dishes in the morning anyway. I dragged my feet back again.
Click
I turned off the living room light that I had turned on because of Ki Baek-woo. The space instantly plunged into darkness. Ki Baek-woo is there too. As soon as the light went out, Ki Baek-woo’s breathing became a bit rougher. As if this dead-quiet time was really scary. As if he had fallen into panic, afraid to sleep as he had panted earlier.
I opened the bedroom door, passing by Ki Baek-woo with a swish. I didn’t close the door. I went straight to the bed and got into the blanket where there was a round hole in the shape I had left. Surprised, amused, and strange. Because of that, I had become wide awake, but as I lay down in the soft place and closed my eyes, drowsiness poured over me again. I mumbled.
“Hey, if you’re scared, sleep here.”
Don’t get on the bed. Sleep on the floor.
I’m really a hopeless idiot sucker. But Ki Baek-woo seems to be acting even crazier because he can’t sleep, so what can I do? Sleep today and become normal tomorrow and leave, you dirty traitor. I’m not sure if I said those words or not as my mind soon became hazy.
***
Nothing much changed just because Ki Baek-woo slept a bit next to me. Ki Baek-woo’s complexion, which had been getting more and more decadent and worn out with each passing day, just became a little more human-like.
Since that dawn two days ago when he acted like a severe mental patient, Ki Baek-woo would crawl into the bedroom on his own when it was time to sleep. He would anxiously watch me as I prepared to sleep in the bed, and when I said ‘Turn off the light,’ he would quickly turn it off and sit down below the bed. Then, in a voice that seemed to have squeezed out all the courage he didn’t have, he would say ‘Good night, hyung.’
I couldn’t understand why he insisted on leaning against the bed and dozing off like that instead of just lying down on the blanket. Anyway, it seems like he’s always choosing to do strange and incomprehensible things.
In any case, although Ki Baek-woo was a bit better than before, he still seemed to have trouble sleeping yesterday and the day before. Whenever I woke up briefly in between, Ki Baek-woo was often doing gloomy things like holding one of my hands and burying his cheek in it, or interlocking our fingers and holding on. I left him alone because it was too bothersome to get angry while half-asleep, but it was really creepy and disgusting behavior.
Do that kind of thing to Jung Yi-dam, you bastard.
Those words rose to my front teeth and sluggishly disappeared down my throat more than once. Anyway, Ki Baek-woo is still holed up at home, doing housework like a live-in servant and taking care of me. I’m also holed up at home, killing time by watching
“Hyung, coffee.”
“Put it there.”
“Okay.”
A lazy afternoon after eating an omelette for lunch. As always, I was sprawled out like a pig on the sofa, rolling around, when Ki Baek-woo appeared with coffee at the perfect timing. He put the cup of iced Americano on the coffee table along with a coaster. And then he didn’t leave, just standing there blankly.
“What?”
Although he had become drastically thinner recently, he was still tall and had a strong presence, so it was annoying when he stood nearby. I snapped at him without looking up, tapping on my phone screen, and Ki Baek-woo hesitantly approached and sat down.
“What is it?”
“Huh?”
“I’m asking what you want, it’s annoying. Do you have something to say?”
“No, just… I have nothing to do while the washing machine is running…”
Me, lying lengthwise on the sofa. Ki Baek-woo, curled up sitting leaning against the sofa. Anyone looking would think we were sitting together intimately. The distance was so close that if I turned my head sideways, I could see Ki Baek-woo’s face right away, which was fucking annoying. When I frowned and told him to go away, Ki Baek-woo pretended to move his butt away slowly while constantly glancing at my phone.
Bzzz, bzzz.
The phone kept vibrating.