Diplomacy 101: How my Yandere Wife (murders) solves all my Problems!

Chapter 149: Chapter 149



Varrus watched Malfurion transform from a relatively mild tempered, peaceful big man into raging psychopath with mild shock. 

In the original timeline, Malfurion had fallen to corruption at least once, and was always lost in his dreams. 

So the current state of events wasn't all that surprising. 

However, there was a slight predicament that Varrus found himself in. 

That madlad Malfurion had shouted his own last name as if he were some sort of Pokémon, and it worked. 

Currently the entire fucking stratosphere was bathed in a never ending pool of lightning! 

Literally every second, bright purple beams of lighting about as thick as your average chair were striking the ground one after another seemingly at random. 

All the while, Malfurion was floating in the sky, looking down like some regal emperor that had found enlightenment. 

An orb of electricity surrounded him, and vaporized any miscellaneous debris that flew in his direction. It was an ability like something straight out of X-Men, and heavily resembled Magneto's method of flight. 

Honestly, Varrus would be impressed by Malfurion's current show of force if he wasn't busy piloting his flying carpet to dodge every bolt of lightning like he was a fighter jet being chased down by missiles. 

'This shit has gone one long enough.' Varrus internally snarled to himself. 

With Malfurion just kind of floating in place, he presented himself as an open target. But besides the shield protecting him, there was one other compilation. The concentration of lightning strikes was especially potent, and more frequent the closer Varrus got to the druid. 

If he just flew at Malfurion all willy-nilly, he was sure to catch a stray hit, thus nullifying his element of surprise. 

He had thought about maybe using Clear Sky to dismiss the storm, then kite away as he regained invisibility, or maybe even fly as close as he could, then use the Shout, Become Ethereal so that he could bypass the shield, and strike at Malfurion directly. 

However, both of these methods carried some risk with them. 

Clear Sky was out, because there was no guarantee he could remain hidden once Malfurion got a general idea of his position. It wasn't as if he could go invisible, then Blink away either. The Blink spell made a lot of noise, and was easy to identify. 

Whereas Become Ethereal had already been seen by Malfurion before, and he would likely be on guard for when Varrus left that unhittable state. If Varrus were to use Become Ethereal, he would rather use it from a distance, to dodge an attack, or from within arms length. 

Between the density of the storm, and the orb, it would take Varrus perhaps 10 seconds to close the distance with Malfurion, and while that might not seem like a lot of time it actually was when both of them moved at speeds incomprehensible to mortal men. 

There were maybe a few more options to solving this conundrum that involved brute force, but he was severely limited in his options thanks to the Emerald Dream nerfing all spells other than Illusion, as well as any physical damage. 

In the end, he would be resorting to his favorite method to achieve victory. 

Subterfuge. 

'Well, perhaps subterfuge, and a cocktail of overwhelming force.' Varrus thought to himself with a smirk as he recalled he had an invisible demigod doggo on his side.

He would be sorely remiss not to utilize such a weapon in this fight! 

Flying down to Omen-who was dodging around the lightning rather admirably-Varrus mounted up on his back. 

Driving the faithful mutt across some scorched, blackened terrain, Varrus found the spot where he had prepared hundreds-if not thousands-of Acceleration Runes.

"Alright buddy. On my mark, run into that pile of brightly lit circles, transform to be as big as you can be, and run at that glowing purple asshole!" Varrus whispered. 

"ruff" Omen very quietly barked back. 

Varrus took a deep breath, and prepared himself for one hell of a wild ride, and then busted out a spell he hadn't used since his assault upon the Sunwell so many months ago. 

It was Thundering Hooves. 

Thundering Hooves: For 1 hr, your mount is X% faster, regenerates Stamina and can swim upwards to run on water. Nearby allies riding a mount within 30 feet also benefit.

That X% was much weaker than he would have liked due to the debuffs, however, the Alteration Mastery perk slightly offset the decrease, and that X% was sitting at a cool 50% net increase! 

Upon casting the spell, an aura only visible to Varrus coated his invisible hound, greatly enhancing his potential velocity. 

Whilst he was at it, Varrus applied the various suite of Illusion buffs to Omen, as well as a shroud of Muffle, to deafen his footsteps. They were almost all set to launch an all out assault! 

In an ideal world, Varrus would just send Omen as a one act wrecking ball show. However, for Thundering Hooves to take effect, he had to personally be mounted. 

Making peace with his maker, Varrus tightly gripped a handful of hair, and prepared himself for the ride of a lifetime. 

"Okay, Omen, get!" Varrus harshly whispered his command. 

Omen moved before Varrus even finished speaking, and hurled himself forward. 

The second they hit the Acceleration Runes, there was a jolt, and the world blurred. 

Varrus's eyes watered, and he felt warm dog saliva splatter across his face. 

There was the slight sound of buzzing, like a fly killing itself on an electric lantern, the woosh of air, then nothing. 

Blinking his eyes, and casting a cleanse spell, Varrus tried to find sight of Malfurion, but couldn't tell what the hell had gone on. 

Looking around himself, his surroundings were all green. 

They had overshot their target! 

Not only that, but they had left a trail of destruction so vast, it was as if an E-5 tornado had passed through the Emerald Dream in a straight line! 

Varrus facepalmed his forehead. 

He could only hope Malfurion was nothing more than a greasy smear at the moment. 

"Okay, round two, let's go again, Omen!" Varrus commanded his faithful hound, and patted him on the back. 

This time, before they head out, he Shouted Clear Skies, as well as Slow Time, so that he could get a better view of what was going on. 

"Arf arf!" Omen nodded his head, and growled in agreement. 

Before they headed out, however, Varrus had to determine which way they had to go to find Malfurion. He was going to cast Clairvoyance, but he saw that there was no need. 

The path of destruction they had created upon entry would serve as their guiding beacon! 

However, said destruction was a sobering sight, and proved to be a cautionary tale. 

Because the areas that had been scorched by Malfurion's turbo lightning storm, and Varrus's super speedy doggo began to tear at the fabric of the realm! Some of the 'stitching' that held the dream together began to collapse, and Varrus played witness to an area of forest the size of a city block fall into that endless white void. It didn't float in this void, like an object launched into space. No! It defied all logic, and disappeared like a pens ink being covered in white-out! 

The grim sight unnerved Varrus, yet he decided to once more place such horrifying thoughts behind himself, as he had a mission to complete. 

Although he would have lost the element of surprise upon his return, he figured such a short amount of time had passed, that if he regrouped, and charged again, he might still have a chance to turn the Stormrage into a pancake. 

Worst came to worst, he could always jump off Omen, and let the demigod dog duke it out with the mad druid, and lurk nearby looking for an opening. 

Plan made, Varrus rubbed Omen's fur for good luck. 

"Let's get him, Omen!" Varrus pressed on the doggo's back, and urged him forward. 

A second later, they were off. 

This time, with the aid of Slow Time-and a lack of Acceleration Runes-Varrus had a better time observing his surroundings as he made his way back to his original position. 

On route, he saw that Malfurion had been busy, and was constructing several hundreds of nasty, pustulent trees, and other disgusting weeping willows. 

Acidic liquid, and gaseous jets of acid sprayed at them, and covered the landscape in a 'random' pattern. 

Yet Varrus noticed that the massive swamp of decay that Malfurion was constructing seemed to be designed to slow and hamper. 

No, it was built to box them in, this was a trap! 

Upon realizing this. Varrus didn't panic or retreat. He decided to go all in! 

"Omen, use Starfall!" Varrus ordered. 

At the same time, he slapped down an Acceleration Rune underneath the dog's paws. 

Within seconds, giant orbs of pale plasma dropped from the sky, and began to shatter Malfurion's carefully crafted stage. 

Whatever performance the druid had planned on putting on, Varrus determined he would outshine him in every way! 

As the swamp sizzled, and melted away under the Strarfury's wrath, and Omen blitzed forward, the various broken trees and branches easily demarcated which path Omen was taking, making it easy for Malfurion to get a lock on their position. 

Even though they were invisible, Malfutron sent out a mega swarm of gnats, spiders, centipedes, and other creepy crawlies. 

Millions of insects clogged the sky, such that the world almost turned black with darkness. 

Unable to destroy them all with his nerfed Destruction & Restoration spells, Varrus opted for the spell: Evil Twin. 

Evil Twin: While concentrating, manifests illusions of nearby enemies to attack them. Illusions take extra damage from attacks.

All at once, the already clogged sky became awash with an amazing buzz.

The millions upon millions of insects made such a cacophony, it felt as if he had an extreme bout of tinnitus, 

While he did this, Omen began to whine, as if signaling something was wrong. 

However, Varrus didn't have much time to pay attention to him, as they closed the distance at an ever increasing pace, and would collide with Malfurion in less than 3 seconds! 

All he could think of was the disgusting gallons worth of bug guts that had splattered against his Ebony Armor, and of where he might Blink should things go south. 

It was during this thought process that they ran over Malfurion like a steamroller. 

To Varrus's surprise, not only did the druid refuse to dodge, but he didn't put up any resistance! 

Frowning, to himself, he peered down where there should be a corpse, and noticed something spectacular. 

There was no Soul Gel collection. 

"Surprise~" Malfurion's voice sounded in Varrus's ear. 

A millisecond later, Stormrage became a mass of pure electricity, and shoved his clawed hand through Varrus's back, and out his chest. The arm then curled upward, and Malfurion's large purple hand wrapped itself entirely around Varrus's face, and sharpened nails pierced his eyes and cheek bones. 

Constant arcs of lightning shocked Varrus, draining him of his mana and hp, forcing his body to convulse and vomit blood. 

Pain like no other flooded his system, and Varrus saw spots in his vision as the vast quantities of plasma and light penetrated his everything. 

He couldn't think. He couldn't breathe. There was nothing. 

If his health ticked to zero too quickly, or had his body atomized, he was dead. 

No perks could save him. None of his healing abilities, or the perk that teleported him out when his hp lowered to 15% would activate if he suddenly dropped from 40% to 0%! 

"I believe the mystics refer to this as deja vu." Malfurion cackled as his other hand carved cursed runes into Varrus's flesh, sending searing agony into his very soul. 

Varrus convulsed as Warriors Flame, Sacred Guardian, and Enduring Ideal all passively healed him, staving off death, yet perpetuating his agony. 

Malfurion laughed mockingly at his torment, and held Varrus up in triumph, as if he were some banner to be displayed. That Varrus was a symbol of all those who stood against the might of Stormrage! 

Continuing with his torture, Stormrage's nails repeatedly plucked Varrus's eyeballs out, he then waited a moment for them to heal, and did so once again. 

Throughout all this suffering, Varrus was trying to muster up the will to activate Time Phase, or Become Ethereal, yet he had ended up being saved by Omen before he could engineer his own escape. 

"Awoo! Awoo! AWWOOOOOOO!!!" Omen cried three times. 

Each cry more desperate than the last as he tried to expunge the mana deep within his being at the expense of his own power. Each cried, desperate howl saw him shrink in size by a fraction. His boundless energy and positivity served as a sacrifice for a miracle. 

The doggo's fur lit up with a pale white glow, one that was anathema to corruptive forces, and galvanized healing. The hairs struck at Malfurion trying to tie him down, and sizzled his skin, deeply wounding him in the process. 

Malfurion snarled, and hurled Varrus deep into the mud and slog of the disgusting corrupted swamp. Fresh scars and burns laced his skin, yet he seemed to relish in the sensation. 

Jumping down off the now normal sized dog, Malfurion kicked Omen in the side once, twice, three times for every howl that the dog had given for his master. Varrus heard the sickening crack of ribs, and saw Omen whimper. His doggo was unable to rise as he had given all his strength for Varrus, and his healing factor had stalled. 

Clenching his fists, Varrus glared murderously at the former icon of nature. Light energy suffused him, and healed Varrus of his wounds as he slowly rose to his knees. 

"Get up. Get up, boy. I'm not done with you. We've got a thing back home that a deformed whelp like you wouldn't be familiar with. 

It's called a blood debt, and I haven't even begun to collect on the interest." Malfurion taunted. 

Never before had Varrus ever wanted someone to die as much as he did now. 

Lip trembling, and face twitching like a beast, Varrus said not one word as he slowly rose to his full height. Staring the grinning Night Elf in the eye, Varrus's face was like stone as he brought the full might of Commanding Presence down to bear. 

The Emerald Dream shook as his will clashed with Stormrage's. 

Seams began to tear the realm asunder, and the white void eagerly gobbled up the pieces. 

The clash between the two titans of Elven-kind had come to a head! 

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