Dirty Rotten Magic

There was a slight tap on the bedroom door and then, after a pause, a knock-knocking sound. The second sound managed to get a response from me, and I slowly opened my eyes. Then through the gloom, I saw a pretty woman in servant clothing entering the room. She looked around shyly and then saw me still in bed, trying to shield my eyes from the lamp she was holding.

She curtseyed to me and said, "Good morning, sir. You need to get ready as the quest will be leaving at first light. Most of the soldiers are already waiting outside."

I nodded groggily and saw that she was carrying a steaming jug of water. The vapor was condensing in a small cloud just above the spout. She placed it next to the bowl and enquired, "Do you need some help getting dressed, sir?"

Her question made me wonder what kind of incapable idiots the wealthy people of this world were if they needed help with a simple task like dressing. But then I looked at her more closely and realized how pretty she was, and I thought there may be advantages to being dressed by this woman. My mind promptly rejected the idea, as I considered how creepy and demeaning that was for both of us.

"No thanks, I should be able to manage myself."

"Your new clothes are out in the lounge, sir, and if you do need any help, then just call with the bell," she said, dropping a curtsey as she left.

I got up and stripped down, standing there naked to wash with the warm water she had provided. Of course, I used magic to clean myself as well. I was not about to miss an opportunity to practice magic, and I needed all the development I could get.

Fresh and clean, I left the room to find some clothes laid out on the blue and gold couch. As I inspected the clothes, I noticed that the shirt was well made with fine but durable material in a simple, no-frills style. It was definitely a cut above anything I had worn so far in this world. The trousers were made out of hard-wearing work cloth and certainly could take some heavy use. Both items pleased me as they were just what I was looking for. To my surprise, there were also some shoes that looked as if they were for outdoor traveling. Whoever had been so thoughtful had my thanks.

I got dressed quickly in the pleasant bedroom, and when I was finished, I looked at myself on a polished metal surface. The clothing was indeed what I'd had in mind with how I wanted to act, in my role of a non-caring, above-it-all, mighty magician. I seemed to have that appearance nailed down with these clothes.

Of course, I was actually still a level-two magician. The only advantage I had was not being able to die.

Looking around the room, I spotted steam emanating from a covered dish and discovered my breakfast under a plate. I ate with relish, as it was good and hot. It was such a good feeling to have some solid food inside my body for once. I could get used to this wealthy lifestyle.

I left the room with the few possessions I had in my inventory and made my way to the courtyard. The elf Alea was there, talking to the diplomat Lohein in quiet tones. They were both on horses that were scraping the ground with their metal horseshoes. I could see the water vapor in the air from their breath in the cool morning. There were also about twenty soldiers with captain Buasog who all had horses. Some were also pulling packing mules. I noticed that one mule had a robust wooden chest strapped to its side. I would certainly be keeping an eye on that, as it was not something that I wanted to go missing just yet.

Over to one side, there was a horse for me. It was pouring the ground with its hooves as if it was eager to get going. From the look of the horse, it seemed to be too small for my tall body. I looked at it in wonder, as I had never ridden a horse before. I did suspect that constantly falling off a horse would not feed into the image that I was trying to project. Searching my memory of all the books that I had read, I recalled reading that a man could outrun a horse over long distances, so I'd have to bet on that belief and just try running to keep up with the quest party. I knew that I was an excellent long-distance runner as I was fit, but was I that good? I would just have to try.

I took off my new boots and placed them in my inventory. I certainly didn't want to be breaking them in on the run. Then I said to the captain, "Keep the horse. I'll be running beside you. It will just be easier for everybody that way."

"I'll keep the horse with us for you to use. If you need it or change your mind later," the man replied, as if he didn't believe that I could keep up with them.

The diplomat looked at me curiously, and the elven woman just scowled in my direction but would not meet my eyes. The birds were just announcing the dawn as the diplomat spoke. "I think we are ready to be going, captain," Sir Lohein said.

"OK!" shouted the captain. "Sergeants, move the men out."

Some of the soldiers, who wore insignia on their black uniforms, started to shout as the troops formed up. The gates to the courtyard were opened, and the column rode out slowly. Ten men were at the front with the captain, then Alea and Sir Login. Behind them rode the ten outer troops as a rear guard. I stayed behind them, not wanting to get trampled by the horses.

As the armored column exited onto the square, the town was just starting to wake up. Delivery people were moving around the market square with large burdens on their backs or using small hand carts. I could smell baked bread in the air as if all the bakeries were advertising their wares by smell. The horses clip-clopped across the stones of the square and then quieted when we reached the dirt of the city streets. The still morning air was pleasant, and I could make out smoke winding into the sky from chimneys, mixing with the light rays moving above the horizon.

Every now and then, I saw one of the soldiers looking back to see if I was keeping up, but all it took me to keep up was a light jog because the horses were moving slowly in the town. People quickly moved aside for the procession as the soldier in front played bugle to clear the path.

Running behind them, I certainly attracted some attention. I must have looked a strange sight to the townsfolk. I was tall for this world, not to mention barefoot, while everybody else was on horses and wearing more refined clothing. My clothes were well made but certainly more for a working man than a warrior or a magician. I did see some pointing and whispering, but all I did was smile and nod to the onlookers.

After about twenty minutes of navigating the town, the column of soldiers reached the wooden city gates. The gates were opened, and the guards saluted to the column. As the column passed under the towers at the gate, it seemed that we were traveling directly into the newly-risen sun.

Then it was an easy ride, or in my case, run, across the meadow toward the forest boundary to the south. I checked the map in my book of life, and we were clearly heading down a path I had never been on before. That wasn't saying much, as I had only been to a few places in this world. It was good to be traveling and getting to see more of this beautiful but dangerous land.

The forest was tremendous, dense, and verdant. Its canopy was ruled by magnolia, willow, redwood, and cascading lights bounced between the leaves allowing for a mishmash of shrubs to monopolize the insect-riddled soils below. Curving, climbing plants embraced many trees, and a medley of flowers grew in a sprinkled and disorderly fashion, brightening up the otherwise unvarying view. A cacophony of sounds, predominantly those of critters, livened up the forest and drowned out the occasional sounds of larger animals in the distance. The horses opened up into a trot as we progressed through the forest. However, I easily kept up with them as a notification appeared saying that I had a new skill, which I guessed would be running.

The journey continued as I ran behind the column. The sunshine was pleasant, and I enjoyed the run in the forest with all the sounds of nature around me. As I ran, I practiced magical spells on the move. The ease with which I cast my shield spell was improving. I found it easier to cast it and concentrate on running, and I guessed this would be good practice for the spell to become natural so that I could cast it without any thought.

One thing that I did have to watch out for was sloppy horse dung along the path. With more than twenty horses in front of me, I couldn't avoid stepping in a pile or two of steaming horse manure that squished between my toes. My feet were getting filthy and caked in dirt and dung. I was pretty sure that people would want me to wash the dung off if I sat next to them.

After a few hours of running at the back of the column, I noticed something strange happening in my body. All the minor cuts on my feet that I'd collected over the run were healed as if my body was constantly repairing itself. It was like the time I had been burned by the magician and had had to wait a day and a night to heal. This time, because the wounds were small and almost nothing compared to a fully burned body, they healed quickly. There was also the additional effect of a lack of fatigue despite the constant running. This was all very surprising but pleasing.

I actually felt significantly more vigorous than I'd ever felt in my life. It was as if all this constant hardship was doing my body good. Of course, I wondered what this all meant, but as I was running better than I ever had before, I was just happy that my body was working in this wonderful way.

My vigor and stamina got noticed by the men on the horse. They kept glancing back curiously as if expecting me to fall behind. They looked shocked when they saw me happily running close behind them.

--

It was mid-afternoon, and we had been traveling all day at a gentle trot along the grassy path of the forest. The afternoon sun was warming me, so I had stripped off my shirt. Then, suddenly from the front of the column, I heard the captain's shouted command.

"Form up on me, and charge!"

From the front, I heard the clatter of horses and then another shout, "Charge!"

Wanting to see what was happening, I ran around the soldiers at the back of the column, where they were forming up in a defensive circle around Sir Lohein and Lady Alea. All of their spears were down, readied for an attack. Passing them was easy as I ran through the trees that the horses could not easily navigate.

Once I was in the forest, I had to jump over fallen tree trunks and branches. My feet seemed to respond well even though I had been running all day. Heading toward where I heard the battle sounds coming from, I dashed through the forest's springy undergrowth.

Suddenly, I broke through the edge of the forest as a branch smashed into my face. When I could see again, I looked upon the scene before me. I had entered a large clearing with grass slopes up a small hill, at the top of which a chaotic, violent battle was taking place. The black-armored soldiers were fighting against huge earthen troll monsters. The monsters seemed to be made of compressed earth and had cracks all over their bodies as if they had been sun-dried. They had massive, powerful bodies with long arms and stubby legs. Five of them were already on the ground as the charge had effectively killed them, but now the soldiers were fighting ten more of the earthen monsters. Their spears were pointing downward as they readied themselves for another charge.

Within a few seconds, the monsters charged the men on horseback. The battle grew even more chaotic as the monsters got amongst the cavalry, hitting the horses with their long arms and trying to pull anything, either horse or man, to the ground. On one side of the battle, I saw that one of the soldiers had been knocked off his horse, and two monsters were closing in on his prone body, pounding their dirt hands into the ground. The rest of the trolls were in between him and the other soldiers who were trying to form up for another charge. I was the only one who had a clear run toward the fallen man who was about to be pummeled into the ground.

I sprinted across the battlefield toward him, jumping over several of the smashed troll bodies on the way. I noticed that they had some kind of twisted roots as part of their body. Thankfully, after a quick sprint, I found myself in front of the man who was now unconscious on the ground. He had a small shield by his side that was upside down in the long grass. I picked it up and ran straight into one of the trolls swinging its massive arm at my head. The force of me hitting its body with the shield threw the creature to the ground and smashed off some of its dirt.

Then a second monster reached out and hit me with its club-like hand. I blocked it with the shield, feeling the shock as it jolted down my arm. Then, in a blaze of fury, I was madly attacking the troll with the edge of the shield, trying to break it to pieces. This had the same effect as I hit it again and again - no elegance, just blind rage.

Soon the monster was in pieces, and it fell to the ground and disintegrated. The other monster hit out with its clawed hand. The sharp rock of its claw cut through the side of my belly, ripping open the flesh. I ignored the pain, reaching out with the shield and smashing it against the monster's head as fast and hard as I could. It lunged and tried to grab the shield out of my hand, and suddenly the two of us were in a tug-of-war match. After struggling for a few seconds, I kicked the dirt monster between the legs in desperation. This merely got me a sore foot, but then I kicked the side of its leg, and it went down, releasing the shield and giving me a chance to smash its face in as much as possible.

Once the earthen troll had disintegrated, I stood up and looked around. The rest of the creatures were dead, and some of the soldiers were heading toward me. When they saw that I had dealt with the two trolls, they went over to the man on the ground.

Touching one of my hands to my side, I brought it up to my face and saw that it was covered in blood. I looked down at the wound; there was a large gash across my belly where the skin had been ripped open. For a few minutes, I held the wound closed as the battlefield was being sorted out. The soldier who'd been unconscious eventually came round as his friends took him over to some shade. He was recovering there when the rest of the force came riding into the clearing. Alea went over to the man and examined him. Then she started to cast a healing spell using just her hand and the words she spoke. I watched as green strands of magical energy flowed out of her fingers and gently caressed his temple. Soon he was standing up and smiling as he thanked the elf.

She looked at me with blood all over my body and approached me with a face full of anger.

"Is any of that your blood, Barad`Ellil?" she demanded as if she was spitting contemptuously at me.

I smiled sweetly at her and winked. "I'm pretty sure that it's all my own blood, as whatever this is didn't bleed."

"Well, let me heal the wound then, as we still need you," she said.

I was just about to say that it wouldn't work, but she ripped my hand away from the gash. Then, when she saw it up close, she gasped and went white with terror.

"It's not that bad," I said, wondering why she was so upset by blood and ripped skin. Then I looked down and saw that my skin was moving as if it was knitting itself together. Once it had finished closing up, the skin started to change to a normal color, and only the dried blood remained.

"Valkin!" Alea muttered under her breath and ran away as if she had seen a demon.

Someone passed me a canteen and said, "Have a drink, sir."

I put the canteen to my mouth and took a swig. It was definitely not water - most likely some kind of strong spirit. "Thanks," I said, realizing it was the soldier who I had just saved from the troll.

"No, thank you, sir, for saving me."

I nodded as he walked off.

I could see some of the soldiers cutting out a stone from the back of each monster's neck and handing it to the sergeant. Wondering what it was, I went over and watched. Still, as I was supposed to be this great and all-powerful magician, I couldn't ask as it would blow the image of my character. I noticed that other materials were also being gathered from the creatures. It was all being stored as if it was of great value.

Once we were ready to move on, my body had completely recovered from the battle, and I felt full of energy again. The column of soldiers started forward in the same formation as before, though we kept up a faster pace now that we had lost time. We kept going until we saw a village, just as the sun was starting to set.

The guard stood aside as we went through the village gates, and a cow wandered over to my side. This time I got a sizeable wet lick and a nuzzle from the bovine.

"She's happy to see you," said the guard with a smile.

I grinned back. "I seem to have that effect on these magical cows."

Once we entered the village, I thought that this one looked the same as the previous village that I had been in. The layout was slightly different, but it still had an inn close to the center. The inn was huge, which was helpful as we were such a large party. The captain was standing outside the inn talking to a man wearing a heavy leather apron who I guessed was the owner. He was nodding his head as they spoke.

When I walked up, I heard the captain say, "I'll need three of your best rooms for the dignitaries. The soldiers and I will be sleeping in the common room."

The man said, "We have rooms, and of course, we'll be providing your group with an evening meal and breakfast, sir."

The captain nodded and got out a money purse from under his armor. He took out a silver coin that had quite the brightening effect on the innkeeper's countenance. It also had me interested, as I had not seen silver used as currency here. It just reminded me of how little I knew of this world.

The captain saw me watching and said, "You may enter the inn, sir. They'll be serving drinks and food soon."

As he was about to move away, he stopped and said to me, "Thank you for saving one of my troops, sir."

I nodded and entered the inn and found it full of people getting ready to eat an evening meal. The common room reminded me of pictures of a hunting lodge I had seen in a book on Earth. The walls were filled with mounted animal heads, which I studied for a few minutes, trying to recognize the creatures. Many of them were slightly similar to Earth creatures but with disturbing differences, like the smaller deer heads with razor-sharp teeth and looked as if they could take a significant bite out of someone. This world certainly had its fair share of danger.

As I was concentrating on the decoration in the room, I didn't notice Lohein and Alea come in. Then, when I turned away from the dead animal heads, I saw them sitting at a table together, discussing something that made Alea upset. She had that frown on her face that she usually only reserved for me.

I started to walk over, thinking that if she was already upset, my presence would not change her mood. However, when they saw me ambling over with a smile on my face, the conversation stopped. She looked away as I sat down at the circular table.

Sir Lohein said with a welcoming smile, "Long day of traveling. It must have been tough on you running all that way. Then in between the running, you fought in a battle! And to top it all off, you received a wound which the lady said just healed without any spell."

One of the serving women brought me a beer foaming in a tankard, and I thanked her.

I took a sip of the drink, which had a strong malty taste to it, then looked at the two delegates opposite me. "It has been quite an eventful day, but I feel no worse than when we started this morning."

Sir Lohein looked shocked. "No aches and pains from all that running or your battle injury?"

"No, just dirty feet that need a good clean," I said as my eyes flickered down to my bare feet, caked in dirt and dung from the horses.

Alea muttered, "Barad`Ellil," flicking her eyes at me with a mixture of fear and anger.

I smiled at her and politely asked Sir Lohein, "What does Barad`Ellil mean?"

He coughed and turned red with embarrassment. "You really don't want to know!"

"Probably, but it would be nice to know what the beautiful lady keeps calling me."

He nodded uncertainly as if he still didn't think it was a good idea for me to know. "It's an elven curse word, meaning 'dark demon.' It's not used as a compliment."

"I think that I could tell that much," I said good-naturedly as Alea looked away from me.

Bowls of stew were placed on the wooden table in front of the three of us by a polite serving-woman. She received a grateful smile from Sir Lohein and me, but Alea just dismissed her presence without any acknowledgment. The woman seemed to be slightly upset at being treated this way but continued smiling.

I ate for a few minutes; the meat and barley stew was filling and took the edge off my immediate hunger. I then asked, "Do you know what Valkin means, Sir Login?"

He was between bites and just shook his head. The question got a reaction from Alea, who looked horrified as if she had done something wrong.

"Well, I guess that it's just another elven curse word," I said.

That seemed to relax the woman somewhat, which made me curious as to what Valkin really meant. The rest of the meal passed with Lohein and me discussing general life. He was good at being diplomatic, and it was pleasant to have a light conversation with him. I wondered why Alea was on the mission as she was undoubtedly not diplomatic - or maybe it was just that she hated me.

By the end of the meal, the soldiers had entered the common room and were eating with the captain. After a few minutes, I noticed one of them pulling out some gambling tokens for a game.

I said to my dinner partners, "I see the possibility of a game, so I'll be leaving you in peace and happiness."

Alea just snorted as I left the table and started to talk to Sir Login. I walked across the common room and approached the table where the men were about to start gambling.

"Do you mind if I join the game?" I asked with a smile at the soldiers.

The soldier who I had saved in the heat of the battle said, "Of course, sir, but we're only playing for copper slips."

"That's fine. I'm just interested in a game for now."

For the next couple of hours, I played a game of chance with the soldiers. I did not try to win as I did not want to take the small amounts of money the soldiers played with. This was mainly just for fun and to hear the gossip about their world. From what I could tell from the comments made during the game, the rank and file soldiers were not confident about the quest's success. What was most interesting was that they were not afraid of entering the land of the orcs on a diplomatic mission.

As one of the soldiers had said, "Those orcs are nothing but honorable. If they say they will do it, they will, good or bad."

They were mainly worried about what would come after if the mission failed. Many of them had families in the town or surrounding forest, and the idea of an orc attack was not pleasant. In addition, most of the border town territories had had trouble with the orcs over the years, and they didn't want this to happen in their town.

During the evening, I saw Alea looking at me every so often. Her eyes seemed to hold fear, hate and even desire, sometimes. I wondered why there was such a range of emotion from the elf all focused in my direction, but I was getting used to it by now. So half-mockingly, I just smiled back every time our eyes met, and she would quickly avert her eyes.