DXD: The Grumpy Mechanic

The man blinked, but rolled with it. "That's right.

"

"Huh. Hey, hey, so this is another U right? Right?"

"That's right, kid. "

"Wow… That was easy. " Naruto was so honestly surprised, it was just- "So what are these other ones?"

"G-y-u-u-k-i. "

"G-y-u-u-k-i. "

"Gyuu-ki. Gyuuki.

"

"Gyuu-ki, Gyuuki! And he's got-" Naruto started counting on his fingers. "Eight tails! So he's the Eight-Tailed Giant… Octopus Guy?"

"Far as I know, he calls himself an ox. The sage apparently named the beasts for their heads, mainly.

"

"Really?"

Yes, really? How the hell would he know that? Actually, how the hell would Masanari know any of this? Was he making it all up?

"But-but then shouldn't the Nine-Tails be a rabbit?"

"That's the question, isn't it? Between you and me, I think the Sage was growing blind and senile in his old age, he sure didn't get it right with his human kids either. " What.

"So, think you can guess what sound this letter is?"

"T, duh, for tails, that's what the word is right?"

"Hmm…" From above Naruto's head, Masanari Hanzo was looking at the little boy with a very calculating sort of air. "So, which would you like to learn next?"

"I can pick?"

Why did he sound like it was the nicest thing anyone ever did for him?

"Sure, go ahead, pick one. "

Naruto stuck out his tongue, then turned a few pages back and- "This one! There's T and U and then?"

"Hmm, that's 'R'. "

Hound watched in increasing bewilderment as Naruto paged back and forth seemingly at random as they got through A, then C, K, M, then he went through R and U all over again, before Naruto turned even more pages until he was all the way to the end. "Then this is an R too! This one here, right?"

Bizarrely, Masanari Hanzo now looked half-way between reluctantly impressed and homicidal. "That's right.

"

"I got it!" Naruto cried triumphantly. Then, as if it wasn't the motherlode of all learning achievements, he began to sound out, then syllabise, then read his first unaided word just four minutes into what was apparently his first reading lesson.

"K-u-r-a-m-a. Ku-Ra-Ma.

" Naruto grinned. "Kurama!" The word resounded in the hospital room like it was Naruto's greatest accomplishment ever, the foremost milestone of his life, the most important thing in his world.

"Kurama. The Nine-Tailed Demon… Bunny!" Then Uzumaki Naruto snickered and began to guffaw, freely, heartily and long.

When he was finished, Naruto gladly complied when the man told him to puzzle out the colours he'd written just below the names.

And Masanari Hanzo slowly, meaningfully raised his gaze and sent it right at them.

Hound tensed. The man's eyes weren't trained on either of their faces, or even where they actually stood in that room.

But he either knew or suspected someone was there. He'd deduced the wall's nature as a one-way mirror.

Hound tried to think from his perspective. If he were a civilian in the know about the Kyuubi, never mind everything else about Naruto, what would he make of the fact that he was alone in a room with the boy? Again.

Against his explicitly stated wishes. After nearly being assassinated.

Possibly.

The first words I heard out of Masanari Hanzo's mouth were to call the Third Hokage an asshole. "I'm starting to understand why he vexes you, Lord Hokage.

"

"I doubt we know the half of it. "

Is that so?

"Hound, walk inside with me. You may use any means of dissimulation you like, but I want him to see you.

"

So he could obscure his mannerisms, voice, even chakra so long as he was visible. "As you say, but may I ask why?"

"Just something I want to check," the third put out his pipe. "And perhaps to make a point.

"

"He seems to have gotten your point quite thoroughly. "

"He's not the one I'm making it to. "

Naruto then?

The answer, it turned out, was neither.

"Lord Third. "

"Old man!" Naruto jumped off the bed. "Old man, Old man, look what I can do!" Naruto all but pushed the book at the Third, open at what looked to be… a double page picture of the nine tailed beasts looking like little babies surrounding a man, what was this he didn't- "Hag-Or-Um…" Naruto trailed off, turned the book back around, mouthed a dozen syllables, then shoved the double-page at the Third again and said "Ha-Go-Ro-Mo Oo-Tsu-Tsu-ki!" His triumphant words settled eerily in the room, somehow, but Naruto didn't seem to feel it.

"That's the name of the Six Paths Sage, believe it!" Say what? "I can do it, I can read, I can so read, see? I'm gonna prank Missus Sujimi so bad, telling me I can't read, I'm not stupid, she's stupid, I'm gonna prank her a whole three times!"

It said something about everyone that not even the Hokage said anything against Naruto's vow of retribution. Being able to read by age 5 wasn't just a prerequisite for the Ninja Academy, but also for having your own place to live in, even when the Hokage was your sponsor.

Either the woman had lied or someone else had lied. For what purpose, Hound couldn't be sure, but he bet on sabotage.

There's certainly a lot of that going on lately.

"No you won't, Naruto," Masanari said.

Correction, almost everyone didn't say anything.

"What? Why not? She deserves it!"

"And do the other orphans deserve the splash damage?"

Naruto opened his mouth, then closed it.

… That was, quite honestly, impressive.

"Glad to see you're not completely hopeless. "

"Oy!"

"I'm sure the Third can handle Missus Sujimi without breaking the kids' stuff and potentially getting them killed like you did some people in this room. "

"Hey! I only did that to you!"

The silence was long, damning and positively mortifying.

"… I think I'll shut up now, Old Man, can I go home?"

The Third, damn him, still hadn't finished milking this poor cow. "Let's see what Mister Hanzo has to say.

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