MTLNOVEL Chapter 5
Chapter 5
I decided to seriously read Ellie's diary from the beginning and stretched out my thick arms to pull the lantern closer.
The writing was round and cute, written carefully. She must have been a meticulous person.
'March 22, 1003 — When I talk with Sister Amy, I get confused sometimes by the mix of happiness and sadness I feel. I can't believe that someone as beautiful as Sister Amy is really my sister. Today, I asked Father if I was adopted, and he scolded me fiercely. I still can't believe it. I always think, if only I had even a tenth of Sister Amy's beauty, as I look in the mirror. Why am I so fat and ugly? Sister Edwina is tall, intelligent, and has a great figure. I've seen gentlemen turn their heads to look at her many times when she wears trendy dresses. Men always judge women. When they turn to look after I pass, it must be because I'm fat and ugly. I'm probably the only one this fat in town. I love my sisters, but Sister Edwina doesn't seem to like me much, which makes me a little sad. I guess it can't be helped since we're far apart in age. Sister Elizabeth doesn't have the droopy eyes typical of the Golden family, but sharp eyes and large pupils. I'm jealous. When she stares at someone with her strong-willed gaze, even the simplest man would do anything she says. She's a little scary, but beautiful and amazing. Of course, I think Sister Elizabeth is beautiful and I love her too, but she doesn't seem to like me either. It'd be embarrassing to walk in town with someone this fat. I want to be beautiful too. But that's impossible. If I could at least get better at magic, maybe everyone would praise me. Once I enter the magic academy, I'll practice magic as much as I can. No matter how much a fat girl like me trains in swordsmanship or spearmanship, it won't amount to much. I'll try my best in my own way.'
'April 1, 1003 — Today was the entrance ceremony. I was celebrated for both my admission and my twelfth birthday. I was so happy that Sister Amy was as delighted as if it were her own achievement. Father, Mother, Sister Edwina, and Sister Elizabeth didn't seem very happy. I wonder why. Maybe they're worried about me attending such a prestigious historic school. Maybe they think I'm a disgrace to the Golden family. I guess they can't help it. But nothing will start if I keep thinking like this. I don't know if I'll be able to talk well due to nerves, but I hardly made any friends in lower school, so I want to make lots of friends at Greifner Magic Academy.'
'April 2, 1003 — Since I had an aptitude for light magic, I was placed in the Light Magic Class. Mother told me that the Golden family, true to its name, usually has aptitude for "earth" and "water" systems related to minerals and nature, so I wondered if I might be special. I'm sure Sister Amy will be happy if I tell her. After the aptitude test, during class introductions, some boys looked at me and laughed. I heard them whisper "so fat," and it made me sad. But this kind of thing happens all the time. As Mother and Sister Amy say, if I interact with people sincerely, I'm sure I'll make friends someday.'
'April 6, 1003 — When I went to eat my lunch during the lunch break, I found it was completely empty. The cafeteria was closed that day, so everyone brought their own lunch. There's no way Clarice would forget to pack my lunch. One of the boys who mocked me during introductions was looking at me and laughing, so I gathered my courage and questioned him. He denied it, but he had Golden family's special sauce on his pants, so he couldn't talk his way out of it. When I told him not to do things that hurt others, he said, "Shut up, you gluttonous fatso." That's just awful. I didn't do anything wrong. In the next class, my stomach growled many times because I was hungry. Everyone in class looked at me and giggled. The boys were laughing while clutching their stomachs so the teacher wouldn't notice. I was so embarrassed that I left school right after that class. For a lady to have her stomach growl—it's a disgrace. I'll get scolded if I tell Mother. I don't know what kind of face I should show at school tomorrow.'
'April 10, 1003 — Groups are starting to form in class, and I wasn't in any of them. It's not that I want to be in a group. I just want a friend. I want to stop by a café after school or study together—just that kind of normal school life is what I long for. Sister Amy is a fourth-year student, so I sometimes see her at school. She's always with wonderful friends, and all the boys sigh when they see her. She's that beautiful. I wish I had just a little bit of that beauty too.'
'April 14, 1003 — Scarlet, the second daughter of the richest family in class, the Circlet family, hid my wand. I need it for the next practical session. How could she do something so awful? When I asked her why, she said it was because I was fat and in the way, so she couldn't see the blackboard. Hiding such an important wand for that reason is too cruel. If she'd just told me, I would've done my best to move aside or lean so she could see. When I told her that, she said, "You're noisy, don't talk to me." For some reason, the girls nearby started hating me too. Their eyes were cold when they looked at me. When I consulted Sister Amy, she cried. She said she'd talk to Father immediately, but I didn't want to disappoint him any further, so I asked her to keep it a secret. Sister Amy said that someone who notices Ellie's kindness will surely appear, and she gently kissed my cheek. Thanks to her, I felt a little better.'
'May 2, 1003 — One month since starting school. I haven't made any friends. Being alone is really lonely. I can still keep up with the studies. I finally found my wand, so I was able to join the practical session. From now on, I'll keep it in the inner pocket of my uniform so it won't get hidden again. In today's class, we were supposed to pair up, but I was the odd one out and had to work with the teacher. Maybe that's a benefit in its own way, but I want to do the practical with someone too. How do I make friends?'
I looked up from the diary.
So Ellie was being bullied......
Bullying exists in every world, huh. I don't understand the minds of bullies or the bullied. But for some reason, Ellie's diary stirs my heart intensely.
The rest of the diary was written sporadically, mostly about being bullied and her hopeful attempts to find friends.
Ellie is just too brave.
It's really painful to read. My chest aches.
She became a second-year student without making any real friends.
It seems there are class changes, but classes are determined by the annual aptitude test category, so unlike Japan, they don't shuffle randomly each year.
There are six types of classes in total.
They're categorized into the six systems: "Light," "Dark," "Fire," "Water," "Wind," and "Earth," and aptitudes rarely change. So even as you move up in grade, your classmates mostly stay the same. Occasionally, if there's a special case due to a year's worth of study, the aptitude magic type might change, but most class transfers are due to family circumstances or school changes.
Additionally, "Light" and "Dark" are rare among the six types, and there's only one class for each. The other four types have three classes each, but in the "Light" class, it's unlikely that classmates will change much.
Naturally, Ellie ended up in the same class again as Scarlet, the second daughter of the Circlet family and the ringleader of the bullying, and the bullying didn't stop.
Scarlet of the Circlet family and Bob, the eldest son of the Ricky family, were the two main ones bothering Ellie.
With a stomach that felt like it had a hole in it, I kept turning the diary pages without stopping.
After about a hundred pages of painful content, a turning point finally appeared.
Somehow, the cute round handwriting looked a bit larger.
'June 23, 1004 — I spoke with Cliff Steward in the library. While I was reading a magic book aloud, he said my voice was as clear and beautiful as a fairy's. Even if it's just my voice, being called beautiful by someone of the opposite sex made my face hot. I must've turned bright red. Cliff has an eye disease and unfortunately can hardly see in front of him. Maybe that's why he said my voice was beautiful. Cliff's face was beautiful. His eyes were golden like sunlight reflecting off a clear sky, and though I don't know if it's due to his illness, the whites of his eyes sparkled like glitter in the light. Even though he shouldn't have been able to see where he was looking, his gaze felt like it saw everything. When the sun hit his golden eyelashes, I was speechless, entranced by his beauty. His mouth always wore a gentle smile. His golden hair flowed gracefully to his shoulders. When I talked about that and my appearance, he smiled and said, "It's an honor to share the same hair color as you." Ah, what a wonderful person he is!'
'June 24, 1004 — I made a lunch date with Cliff in the library. He can't read, but he loves books. He wants me to read aloud to him. I agreed immediately. Then, taking advantage of the fact that he couldn't see, I made a guts pose—one that the boxer Guts Rebellion does when he wins a match, which is popular lately. It made me feel happy. Not a gesture suited for a lady, but just for today, it's okay. After all, I get to eat lunch with Cliff every day. And the Steward family's butler even brings me my lunch. The money I used for the cafeteria becomes my allowance. Maybe I'll buy Cliff a present. I can't wait for tomorrow. This is the first time I've ever been this excited to go to school.'
'June 30, 1004 — It's been a week since I started having lunch with Cliff. Every day is so much fun. To improve even a little at reading books, I decided to help with a reading session at a nearby orphanage. For a shy person like me, it feels like a life-changing step forward. Today, I read "Principles of Light Magic" by Gremon Gregorius, a textbook for fifth years. Cliff said, "It'll be this for a while, is that okay?" and I agreed at lightning speed. The content is difficult, but I'll have to learn it eventually, so it's not a waste. Actually, there's nothing wasteful about being with Cliff. I don't care at all about how Scarlet and her followers laughed when the teacher made me try a spell I couldn't do in class. Cliff, who saved me from a hellish year, thank you. And I love you. Cliff love! Cliff love!'
I've caught Cliff fever bad.
I mean, Cliff is seriously a god. I hereby declare him the second most handsome guy after me.
Ellie's diary kept talking about the lunch breaks she spent with Cliff.
Actually, that's all that was written.
It was the place she finally found for herself. She must have been so happy. I'm happy too.
There were also occasional mentions of the orphanage where she did the reading sessions.
She's a hard worker who gives her all. A passionate soul who puts in effort for the one she loves. Yeah, she's just like me. Maybe Ellie and I are more alike than I thought.
I kept reading, and time passed to the winter of her second year.
Ellie was thirteen years old on the diary page I had open. There were only a few pages left. Judging by the thickness, maybe about three months' worth remained.
'December 25, 1004 — I've gotten used to the reading sessions at the orphanage. The kids are so cute. The boys quickly call me fat. The mischievous gap-toothed Lyle and the black-haired, black-eyed Yoshimasa are especially foul-mouthed, always laughing and calling me fat. Today, they were running around during the reading, so I scolded them to sit quietly, and they plopped down on the floor with a grumpy thud. Even while I kept reading, they didn't seem to listen, so I gestured for them to come over. As a joke, I patted my lap and motioned for them to sit here, and the two troublemakers jumped onto my lap and laughed, "It's soft, I want to stay here forever." After that, they listened seriously to the reading. They had never warmed up to me since the reading sessions started, so I was really happy. Before I knew it, they were all leaning on me. The kids bumped their shoulders lightly against my bouncy body and laughed. Their little bodies were warm like a fireplace. Today was the first time I was glad to be fat. Before I realized it, I was crying. The kids desperately tried to comfort me. Because of what they did, I couldn't stop crying again. The more I tried not to cry, the more tears came out. Even a fat girl can get through to others with sincerity. Just like Sister Amy said. It's okay to be fat and ugly. Maybe when Cliff said that children carry angels within them, this is what he meant. Those kids are angels to me. I want to cherish them forever.'
I ended up bawling.
Damn it, I can't stop the tears.
Uoooooh, Ellie!
You're a lady. A wonderful woman!
You might be ugly and fat, but your heart is beautiful and pure!
Shouting in my heart, I picked up the hand mirror placed beside the table and looked at my own face.
Yeah, but I'm still fat and ugly. I cooled off in an instant.