Everything I Got from Online Shopping Was Legit

Chapter 6: Seven Days to Develop a First Love Face

“Pull your mother, you’re the one taking a dump, your whole family is taking a dump here!”

Lin Mo cursed under his breath as he walked away, feeling utterly humiliated.

The kids flying kites nearby didn’t get called out, the old man selling kites didn’t get called out, but just because he squatted in a corner for a moment, the security guard accused him of taking a dump?

If it weren’t for the stares from all around, Lin Mo would have definitely gone to argue with that security guard.

The main thing was, he was genuinely afraid some kid would run up and ask him, “Are you here to take a dump?”

Wouldn’t that be the end of his reputation?

It might even end up on the local news, and the headline was already in his head.

【Shocking! A Man Taking a Dump Appears in Jiangning City People’s Park】

Thinking it through, Lin Mo suddenly felt lighter.

He glanced at the balance in his WeChat wallet and, for a moment, didn’t know how to spend it.

Luxury goods? This little money wasn’t enough.

A big feast? Forget it.

His family wasn’t rich, but not poor either.

They never lacked when it came to food and drink.

After much consideration, the only option was to invest in himself.

He went straight to the mall and bought two sets of clothes, changing his whole outfit inside and out, costing 3,500.

At noon, he went for a seafood buffet, spending 89.

In the afternoon, he splurged again, finding a Tony hair stylist that Yuan Meng often recommended to cut him a trendy hairstyle, spending 300.

Normally, his haircuts only cost 25, so spending 300 this time was already a huge upgrade.

But expensive things had their perks.

At least he was satisfied with the hairstyle, and it even came with hair treatment, though he still felt it was a bit of a rip-off.

When he walked out of the barbershop, he was completely refreshed.

A black shirt, black wide-legged pants, short layered hair—he looked full of youthful charm.

Especially since the new clothes fit him so well, Lin Mo felt a boost of confidence.

Walking down the street, he even felt like people were looking at him—though it might just have been his imagination.

Indeed, clothes make the man.

Dressing up, investing in himself, pleasing himself—this was the tone Lin Mo had set for himself.

As for love, he already had an “external cheat.”

Why bother with that stuff?

Besides, it had been three years in university without dating anyone, so was he suddenly going to start now in his last year?

He then went to the supermarket and bought a pile of snacks and fruit, since his home stock was running low.

As for groceries, he skipped them—he didn’t know how to cook anyway.

By the time he returned, it was already 5 p.m.

Struggling under the weight of several bags, he trudged into the community.

“Yo, back already? Went shopping for clothes? Looking sharp!”

Suddenly, someone called out from behind him.

Lin Mo turned his head and saw He Qiang, the supermarket owner at the community entrance.

He was sitting astride his electric scooter, with a massive carp tied to the back seat, weighing at least several dozen catties.

“Whoa, that fish is huge! Must be thirty catties, right? Impressive!” Lin Mo was a little shocked.

Hearing this, He Qiang’s mouth curved up like Wang Yousheng in Drawing Sword upon seeing supplies, but he still said modestly, “Eh, not bad, thirty-five catties and four taels.”

“Incredible, incredible. It even looks alive. Why didn’t you put it in a water tank? Don’t let it die!” Lin Mo quickly reminded, noticing the fish’s mouth opening and closing.

Little did he know, He Qiang had already set it up properly.

The next second, He Qiang’s wife stormed out of the supermarket, shouting at him:

“He Qiang, get back here! I’ve seen you pass by three times already. What are you wandering around for? The scooter’s running out of battery!”

He Qiang: …

Lin Mo: …

Goodness, wasn’t this the classic “thrice passing one’s own door without entering”?

Hearing this, He Qiang gave an awkward smile.

“Well, uh, I’m going to the seafood market to sell the fish!”

With that, he zoomed off on his scooter, disappearing without a trace.

His wife stomped her feet angrily at the supermarket entrance, swearing he wouldn’t be allowed home tonight.

As if! For a fishing addict, if he didn’t show off now, when would he?

As long as the scooter still had battery, He Qiang was absolutely not going home today.

The moment He Qiang left, Lin Mo quickly slipped away too.

When a Sichuan-Chongqing woman’s rage meter maxed out, even stray dogs on the street weren’t safe from a slap.

Just as he reached the unit entrance, he spotted an A4-sized rental ad taped there.

It read:

【Apartment for rent, 4th floor, 402. Newly renovated, full set of appliances, wife coverage throughout, welcome to move in. Contact: 176********】

Seeing this, Lin Mo’s jaw dropped.

“Wait a second, wife coverage throughout? Is… is this even allowed?”

Wife, as in married woman, a housewife.

His English grades were average, but he knew this word, even from certain “special zones” online.

Wife coverage throughout—just how many were there?

Could this be the so-called “Cao Cao’s Pleasure House”?

Just as his imagination ran wild, a soft voice called from behind him:

“Hello, are you looking to rent? I’m the landlady!”

Lin Mo turned and saw a woman in her early thirties.

Not exactly beautiful, but dressed rather lightly, with a curvaceous figure—indeed, she had that “wife” aura.

“I… I was just looking, cough cough…”

Maybe his thoughts were too dirty, because he sounded a bit guilty.

“No worries, this was my marital home. Everything inside is complete. If you’re interested, the price is negotiable!”

“Marital home?”

So it really was a wife’s place! Lin Mo was stunned.

“Of course. No worries about formaldehyde or anything—it’s all been lived in by myself!”

The woman eagerly praised her own apartment.

“And this…” Lin Mo pointed at the word wife, cautiously bringing it up, while gossiping a bit—on behalf of Zhang Wei, of course.

Upon hearing this, the woman slowly raised two fingers.

“Two thousand!”

“Huh?”

It wasn’t that he minded the price.

He just hadn’t expected her to seriously quote it—so he hadn’t misunderstood after all.

“N… no, thank you!”

With that, Lin Mo hurried upstairs with his bags, not even daring to take the elevator for fear of running into this “wife.”

After all, a pure-hearted college guy didn’t have that thick of a skin.

“Is two thousand megabit broadband still not good enough?”

The woman was puzzled—after all, her internet speed really was top-notch.

Carrying his things, Lin Mo climbed up six flights of stairs.

Thankfully, his apartment wasn’t on a high floor, otherwise he’d have died halfway.

“Utterly disgraceful, utterly disgraceful!”

After gulping down a large glass of water, Lin Mo sighed.

The outside world was truly full of temptations.

He then sat on the sofa and reviewed the day’s expenses.

Today’s income: 26,240.

Spent: over 4,100.

Two sets of clothes, buffet, haircut, taxi fares, snacks, and daily necessities.

Earning money was easy, but spending money was even easier.

Still, seeing more than 20,000 left on his phone made him feel instantly satisfied.

That evening, he ordered delivery, ate something simple, and called it a night.

Exhausted, he went to bed early without even playing games—because he knew Yuan Meng was surely waiting to scold him.

He decided to be a coward this time and avoid the clash.

Just as he was dozing off, his midnight alarm went off, instantly waking him.

Picking up his phone, he saw a purchase page pop up.

【DBS shotgun, includes 30 rounds, ¥7.5】

【Sulfur facial cleanser, classic domestic brand, seven days to develop a first love face; ¥3.75】

【Cao Cao’s Pleasure House trial card, one; ¥500】

【S999 silver bar, 50 grams; ¥17.4】

Looking at these four options, he couldn’t help but laugh angrily, clapping his hands and saying:

“Good, good, good—getting more and more absurd, huh!”

……