For You, I Would Even Be A Villain

Chapter 8

Four years. Neither a short nor a long time, yet in that span, many things about the man had changed—except for one. That look in his eyes remained the same. It always brought back memories of the past that she had tried so hard to forget. Lilith hated that.

Once the pain started, it became uncontrollable. The headaches, which resurfaced just when she thought she had forgotten them, tormented her relentlessly as if trying to awaken something within her. Furrowing her brows against the ceaseless pain, Lilith suddenly found everything utterly meaningless.

“…What are we even doing?”

She let out a sigh and turned her head away.

Looking at Xenon, who remained silent with his lips pressed tightly together, she knew this conversation was going nowhere. No matter how much time passed, there would be no progress. Lilith no longer wished to waste her time on something so pointless.

“Get up.”

At her words, Xenon blinked.

“Are you going to stay like that? I won’t stop you if you do.”

Only then did Xenon slowly rise to his feet. As the shift in their eye level reversed, Lilith made no effort to hide her displeasure. She disliked having to look up because of their height difference. But what did it matter?

“Let’s end this.”

Suddenly overwhelmed by exhaustion, she pressed a hand to her forehead and murmured.

“I don’t care what insane thoughts led you to say such a thing.”

Lilith looked at Xenon with indifferent eyes. The anger was gone from her face, leaving only a heavy sense of fatigue and disinterest.

“I won’t even ask you to take responsibility for this mess. You wouldn’t be capable of that anyway. But even you should at least be able to tell His Majesty the truth.”

Her voice was calm yet cold as she continued.

“Tell His Majesty clearly. That you misspoke.”

That you never wanted to marry Lilith Blaine.

Yes. That was all she wanted from the man before her.

She had never expected anything from Xenon in the first place. As long as he cleaned up the mess he had created with his words to the emperor, she was more than willing to let this go.

If not for the imperial decree, there would be plenty of ways to escape. Everything else was secondary.

From that perspective, what Xenon had done was the worst possible move for Lilith. If his goal had been to humiliate her, he had certainly made an excellent choice.

As she waited for Xenon’s response, Lilith observed him. A face so delicate it was hard to believe he was a knight. She felt an urge to leave scratch marks on that pale skin out of sheer spite. Perhaps slapping him earlier had already granted her wish.

Meanwhile, Xenon remained silent, his gaze fixed solely on her. His dark eyes held nothing but Lilith’s reflection.

How much time passed like that?

After a long standoff, he finally spoke.

“I did not misspeak.”

Lilith’s face twisted in disbelief.

“What?”

Xenon lowered his head slightly.

“I apologize for not telling you in advance. However, my intentions remain unchanged.”

His declaration was not only firm but almost solemn. Lilith, utterly dumbfounded, blurted out instinctively.

“Are you out of your mind?”

It seemed Xenon Meyer must have suffered a head injury during the subjugation. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be standing here, saying something so utterly insane with such conviction.

At a complete loss for words, Lilith could only stare at him. As always, his unreadable, expressionless face betrayed nothing.

What the hell is this man trying to do?

For the first time, she found herself curious about what was going on inside Xenon’s head.

It was utterly ridiculous. The idea that Xenon Meyer wanted to marry Lilith Blaine? No matter the reason, it was an impossible—no, an unthinkable—thing.

Because Lilith… had tried to kill him.

“Four years ago,” Xenon began.

“I believed your words and chose to take part in the subjugation.”

His deep voice carried an undeniable weight.

“So now, it’s your turn to keep your promise.”

It was an audacious statement. But at the same time, it was a right he had every reason to claim.

Without realizing it, Lilith’s face hardened.

Having finished speaking, Xenon lowered his eyes slightly and waited in silence for her response. His long lashes cast shadows over his face.

A promise. A promise. That damn promise.

Lilith was utterly exasperated by the situation she had found herself in. She had fallen into her own trap. If she had known Xenon would act this way, she would never have said such things in the first place.

No, who In the world could have predicted this? The promise wasn’t even the real issue. The fact that Xenon had survived and returned at all—that was the miracle that should never have happened.

Enough. Lilith decided to put an end to her useless thoughts. It didn’t matter anymore. The moment he had survived, her plans had already gone completely off track.

This was clearly her defeat.

“…Let me ask you just one thing.”

At her words, Xenon slowly lifted his head.

“When did you start thinking this way?”

His gaze, calm and steady, locked onto hers. Within those deep eyes, countless emotions swirled.

Yet, in contrast to the turbulent feelings in his eyes, his voice was composed.

“My wish has always been the same. Four years ago. And now.”

His quiet voice reached her ears.

For a moment, Lilith couldn’t understand what he meant.

Four years ago?

Why was he saying that he had wished for the same thing back then?

According to what she knew, that should have been impossible. Because Xenon hadn’t been interested in her—he had cared for Rosalin…

At that moment, Lilith suddenly realized something.

She had taken a step back.

Did I… just try to avoid him? Me?

For a brief instant, she had been overwhelmed by him, and she couldn’t believe it.

As she stood frozen in confusion, Xenon took a step forward. Then another.

Standing right in front of her, he spoke.

“Your hand.”

Lilith hesitated.

She couldn’t tell what he intended, and she wasn’t willing to act carelessly. But there was no point in standing here like this forever.

After some deliberation, she extended her hand toward Xenon, her expression making it clear that she did not trust him.

A straight, pale hand.

Xenon looked down at her hand for a moment before lifting it and pressing a reverent kiss to the back of it.

Then, he raised his eyes to meet hers.

The instant their gazes locked, Lilith finally understood why she had always felt uneasy looking into this man’s eyes.

What lay within Xenon Meyer’s gaze was an overwhelming, undeniable gaze.

She was dreaming.

She knew it was a dream for one simple reason—she saw someone she could no longer see.

Calyx.

Her fiancé.

“Lilith!”

It had been so long since she last saw him, yet he was exactly as she remembered—smiling radiantly, his expression so dazzling it almost hurt to look at.

He waved at her before tilting his head slightly. Instead of responding, Lilith gave him a small smile and stepped closer.

The dream was replaying a memory from the past.

A small lake in the Blaine Duchy.

She and her fiancé often had picnics there. It had been a peaceful time. One she could never return to.

“Have you been waiting long?”

At her question, Calyx shook his head.

“I just got here, too.”

But Lilith knew better.

She knew he had probably been waiting for quite some time. This was just his way of being considerate—an attempt to keep his tardy fiancée from feeling guilty.

Yes, that was the kind of man he was.

Despite being born into an arrogant imperial family, he knew how to care for those around him.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve come sooner.”

Saying that, Lilith sat beside him.

Calyx didn’t reply, only smiling as if to say it was fine.

For a while, they simply sat in silence, gazing at the lake.

The sunlight shimmered on the rippling water, casting a breathtaking glow.

The lazy afternoon sun. The gentle sway of tree shadows in the breeze. The occasional chirping of birds.

It was a scene straight out of a painting.

As she sipped the tea he poured for her, Lilith felt the restlessness in her heart gradually settle.