Gacha Hell: Furina Edition

One minute later.

Hu Tao stared blankly at the table full of low-tier cards.

She wasn't sure if her ritual had failed, but she had no more wishes or pulls left to test it.

A little dejected, Hu Tao muttered, "Old Lu, do you think there's something wrong here?"

"Maybe the Goddess of Luck isn't favoring you today?" Lu Heng replied seriously. "But it's fine, there's always next time."

"Right!"

Hu Tao immediately perked up.

One failure didn't mean anything!

Wait a minute—

Had she even failed at all?

That one Book of the Dead was a five-star artifact!

You could argue that one card was worth five gold cards—and that might even be an understatement!

Hu Tao's mood instantly brightened again.

The speed of her emotional whiplash left Zhongli silently impressed.

After collecting all the cards and storing them away, Lu Heng brewed another pot of tea.

He, Zhongli, and Hu Tao then began sorting through the cards together.

While the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor was a sizable organization, it certainly didn't need a full artifact system.

Still, some two- and three-star cards could be handed out as rewards for employees.

Hu Tao was always good to her staff.

After some picking and choosing, Lu Heng summed it up:

Aside from the Book of the Dead, Hu Tao hadn't pulled a single four-star card!

The rest were a few three-star cards suitable for her and some decent one- and two-star utility cards.

Her luck had peaked in one area while plummeting in another.

But considering this was the result of 3,600 pulls, Lu Heng suddenly felt it made sense.

If she was this lucky, what more could she ask for?

As Hu Tao dismantled the useless cards, she turned to Lu Heng. "Old Lu, when are you free? This boss is treating you to a meal!"

"Ah…"

Lu Heng shook his head. "I'll have to think about when I'm actually free."

Getting a meal with Lu Heng was like signing up for a "Challenge Morax" event—there was a queue.

Navia would've been the first to invite him if not for some delays.

Then there were Amber and Eula, though their dinner plans hadn't been finalized yet.

And don't forget Collei.

Lu Heng suspected that once Collei and Amber reunited, they'd probably drag him out for another meal.

And now, Hu Tao.

"Busy man, huh?" Hu Tao teased.

Lu Heng nodded. "But don't worry, Boss. Once I'm free, I'll come to you for that meal!"

"Deal!" Hu Tao grinned. "Just come whenever! I'll reserve a VIP seat for you at Wangsheng!"

"Wait… what kind of seat?"

"VIP coffin slot!"

Cough!

Zhongli nearly choked on his tea.

He suddenly remembered something from Hu Tao's childhood.

This girl, at the tender age of six, had once faked her own death to skip school—by sleeping in a coffin in Inazuma!

Six years old!

Just recalling it now, Zhongli realized she'd always been fearless.

Lu Heng, torn between laughter and exasperation, asked, "Care to elaborate?"

"Pfft—"

Lu Heng wasn't offended. If anything, he found it amusing.

Hu Tao might seem scatterbrained, but she was actually quite sharp.

Half-joking, half-serious, she explained, "The so-called VIP slot is actually just the first-edition test coffins!"

These prototypes weren't for sale—they were all ones Hu Tao had personally test-slept in.

Not because she had any morbid hobbies, but because she took her work seriously.

To her, a coffin was like a bed for the deceased.

If the "bed" wasn't comfortable, wouldn't the departed be unhappy?

So these prototypes were rigorously tested, adjusted, and finalized before mass production.

"So?" Hu Tao smirked. "Scared of ghosts yet? Admit it!"

Lu Heng felt a sudden breeze.

A hand tapped his right shoulder, followed by a whisper in his left ear:

"Boo~"

Lu Heng chuckled. "I'm not really afraid of ghosts."

"Oh?"

"Now that I think about it, with your strength, Old Lu, of course you wouldn't be scared."

Hu Tao, failing to spook him, slumped back into her seat.

"It's not just about strength," Lu Heng said. "The ghosts we fear are just people others miss but can never see again, right?"

"True."

Hu Tao nodded solemnly, her playful demeanor fading.

When it came to topics like death and spirits, she always turned serious.

Zhongli, sensing the mood, interjected, "Let's not dwell on such heavy topics. How about we discuss Venti's recent divine image collapse instead?"

"Oh?"

"That bard?"

Hu Tao had heard bits and pieces but not the full story.

"He's a regular at the shop. You'll meet him soon enough," Lu Heng said, pulling out his phone and scrolling through the news.

Headlines about "The God of Freedom is a Drunkard!" were everywhere.

Venti's divine image was in shambles.

Lu Heng smirked. "Zhongli, don't you think it's tragic when a god's mortal persona clashes so badly with their divine image that it shatters people's faith?"

Was he hinting at me?

A pang of guilt flickered in Zhongli's heart.

But outwardly, he remained unshaken. "Perhaps."

Hu Tao rested her chin on her hands, her eyes darting between Lu Heng and Zhongli.

Something felt off, but she couldn't pinpoint what.

"I don't think it's a 'perhaps.' It's a certainty."

Every god had devout followers.

Lu Heng suddenly thought of Barbara.

Barbara was part of the Favonius Church, which fell under the Knights of Favonius' jurisdiction.

Since the Knights were one of the Four Winds, their authority surpassed the Church's in both rank and governance.

"It's almost noon!"

Hu Tao glanced around, then grinned. "Old Lu, since you haven't said you're leaving yet, that means you're free, right?"

Her eyes sparkled with mischief.

Lu Heng checked his silent phone, then sighed. "Fine, let's go!"

"That's the spirit!"

Hu Tao beamed. "Since we're all old friends here, no need to stand on ceremony! You're both honorary members of Wangsheng now!"

Zhongli's steps faltered. He turned to leave, but Hu Tao grabbed his sleeve.

"If you refuse, I'll send you the past bills…"

I surrender!

If she was going this far, Zhongli had no choice but to comply.

Sometimes, Zhongli wished he had the power to see the future.

If he'd known this was coming, he would've left first!

Hu Tao's cooking?

Lu Heng's expression shifted slightly. He reached for his phone.

Huh? What? Someone needs me for urgent business?

But before he could finish, Hu Tao was already in front of him, arms crossed, staring him down.

Her expression said: Go on, I'm watching. What's your excuse now?

Ah…

Time for Plan B!

Three minutes later, Zhongli and Lu Heng exchanged looks of sheer admiration.

Age doesn't determine skill—mastery does.

Bro, you've got skills!

In just three minutes, Lu Heng had Hu Tao wrapped around his finger.

Flushed with excitement, she declared she'd treat them both to Wanmin Restaurant instead!

Hu Tao cooking?

If she went all out, the results might rival suspense horror films.

But a meal at Wanmin?

Now that was living the good life.

Meanwhile, in Mondstadt…

Lumine and Paimon had just been brought into the city by Amber.

But due to an unexpected situation, Jean and the others couldn't meet them immediately.

After hearing the explanation, Lumine understood.

A crisis of faith was no small matter—some might even lose their minds over it!

At that moment, in the Favonius Church's living quarters, Jean, Lisa, and Rosaria were gathered.

The incident had started half an hour earlier.

Rosaria, passing by, had heard a distraught wail.

When she opened the door, she found Barbara, the most devout believer in the Anemo Archon, sitting on the floor in utter despair.

Calling her name got no response—Barbara's eyes were empty.

Realizing something was wrong, Rosaria immediately sent for help.

Now, the situation had escalated.

"Barbara, are you really okay?" Jean asked worriedly as Barbara mechanically performed a prayer gesture.

Has my little sister gone catatonic?

While the true image of the Anemo Archon and the Church's depiction were…

Well, let's just say vastly different.

The Church elders knew the truth—Venti was free-spirited to say the least.

But could they admit that?

No! The Anemo Archon had to be portrayed as noble, radiant, flawless!

Barbara, raised on these teachings, had grown up believing the Church's version was the absolute truth.

And now…

Her faith had been shattered.

"I'm fine."

Barbara's voice was eerily calm.

"Don't bottle it up. It's not good for your health," Rosaria pressed.

"Really, Rosaria, I'm okay."

Barbara's flat tone only deepened everyone's concern.

This wasn't normal!

No screaming, no crying—just unnerving detachment.

"Barbara, listen…" Jean took a deep breath. "Lord Barbatos might seem unreliable at times, but the great deeds in history are real!"

"Barbatos? Who's that?" Barbara blinked, confused.

Her eyes were still slightly red.

Jean froze. "The Anemo Archon…"

"Don't know him."

Barbara shook her head, her voice pious. "I've always worshipped the God of Faith."

Lisa leaned back, stunned.

Rosaria raised an eyebrow.

Barbara had just cut ties with Venti entirely.

The drunken bard?

Never heard of him!

The God of Faith, Barbatos, born from the wind—that was the true deity believers revered!

Technically, it was still faith in Venti, but the rebranding made it easier to swallow.

"I believe in the Anemo Archon. What does Venti have to do with it?"

By severing Venti's connection to the divine, his antics no longer tarnished the Anemo Archon's image!

Wasn't this just self-delusion?

Jean thought to herself.

But at least Barbara's faith remained intact—just redirected from Barbatos the person to Barbatos the concept.

The process was questionable, but the result was acceptable.

Better than a complete breakdown!

"Well, I…" Jean hesitated, glancing at Lisa.

"You go meet the Traveler. I'll stay with Barbara," Lisa offered.

The sisters' relationship was… complicated.

Not strained, just awkward in expressing affection.

Lisa, the gentle older sister figure, was perfect for comforting Barbara now.

"Thank you."

Jean gave a grateful nod before hurrying off.

Knights of Favonius Headquarters – Front Gate

Lumine and Paimon stood frozen.

A man with a flaming skull for a head was walking toward them.

The sheer menace radiating from him was overwhelming!

Paimon gulped.

With Amber away (in the bathroom) and no one else around…

Lumine took a step back, equally unnerved.

Was this a daylight ambush in the middle of Mondstadt?!

Logic said no.

But her trembling legs begged to differ.

"Traveler, Paimon, hello." Kaeya waved.

Internally, he was laughing.

His new artifact effect was too good.

Who wouldn't be terrified of a burning skull approaching them?

Especially one that looked straight out of a nightmare!

"Y-You can talk?!" Paimon gasped.

Was this some new type of monster in Teyvat?!

"Did I scare you?"

Kaeya tilted his head—or rather, his skull.

The flames flickered ominously.

Then, with a twist, his head returned to normal.

Now he just looked like a regular (if smug) human.

Kaeya held up a bag. "I just grabbed these from the warehouse—artifact sets and phones, color-matched to your hair. Like them?"

Lumine and Paimon exchanged glances.

"For us?" Lumine asked.

"Yep." Kaeya grinned.

Just then, Amber returned.

"Oh, Kaeya!"

She glared. "You didn't scare them, did you?"

"We almost died of fright…" Paimon muttered.

"Scaring people isn't funny!" Amber scolded.

Kaeya just laughed. "First impressions matter. I'm Kaeya, Cavalry Captain of the Knights of Favonius. No need for introductions—I already know you two!"

Lumine and Paimon didn't know how to respond.

Ever since Genshin Impact became a thing, they'd become instantly recognizable everywhere.

Even in a foreign land where they knew no one… everyone knew them!

It was bizarre.

"Alright, let's head inside. Acting Grand Master Jean will be here shortly," Kaeya said.

Inside the office, Jean soon arrived.

After introductions, she spoke solemnly:

"Traveler, Paimon, the world's fate has changed. But we can't ignore those who once helped us. Thus, the Knights have decided to grant you the title of Honorary Knight—along with 1,000,000 Mora as a token of gratitude."

"HOW MUCH?!"

Paimon's eyes nearly popped out.

She'd never pulled gacha before, so she didn't know 1,000,000 Mora was pocket change in Lu Heng's shop.

But she did know how much food that could buy!

Lumine was tempted.

She was broke, and if she wanted to get stronger and find her brother, Mora was essential.

But since the world's fate had shifted…

"Isn't this too much?" she asked hesitantly.

"It's really not," Jean assured.

"Just take it," Kaeya added. "Oh, and we've prepared dorm rooms for you too."

They'd already arranged everything?!

Lumine was stunned.

Mondstadt's hospitality was unmatched!

This place… was amazing!

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T/N:

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