Genshin Impact: Villain Life Sim

Soon, it was lunchtime.

However, Cloud Retainer had business to attend to and planned to return to her abode, and Shenhe naturally accompanied her. As a result, only Ganyu, Lucas, and their two guests, Lumine and Paimon, sat at the table.

Lumine and Paimon were remarkably coordinated in avoiding any topic related to the "husband of Ganyu," and even when they saw the rather affectionate interactions between Ganyu and Lucas, they did not show the slightest hint of abnormality.

At the moment, both of them still believed that Ganyu and Lucas were lovers engaged in a secret affair while the real husband was away.

Meanwhile, Ganyu assumed they already knew she was Lucas's wife.

Thus, the entire meal was shrouded in an odd, ambiguous atmosphere from beginning to end.

Naturally, Ganyu conveyed her thoughts to Lucas.

"So, that's the plan," Ganyu concluded. "Today I'll write a formal document and pass it to Captain Beidou. If the weather's good tomorrow, you should be able to set sail."

"I didn't expect this…" Lucas sighed. One of his hands under the table casually rested on Ganyu's thigh. "You just got married, and I'm already leaving."

Ganyu's face turned red, and she softly whispered, "Stop it… there are guests here…"

Lumine and Paimon simultaneously averted their gazes, as if they hadn't noticed anything at all.

Lumine: "This Clear Mind Soup is so wonderfully fragrant…"

Paimon: "This table… is such a good table!"

Good grief. Were they this blatant already?

In their hearts, the two marveled at how open the people of Liyue Harbor were. At the same time, they had newfound respect for Lucas. For a mere cook to have the lady of the house wrapped around his finger—it was unbelievable.

...

After lunch, Lumine and Paimon were arranged to rest in the guest rooms.

As for Lucas and Ganyu, since they would be "parting briefly" the next day, they took advantage of the afternoon to enjoy a bit of "better than a honeymoon" quality time.

Since there was no work in the afternoon and Shenhe had gone to see Cloud Retainer off, this period of time became a rare moment of privacy for Lucas and Ganyu. Having just tasted the pleasures of intimacy the previous night, Ganyu's curiosity was at its peak, and she wanted to try many "new things."

Although they tried to keep it quiet, some faint sounds inevitably leaked out.

Still, Lumine and Paimon were already fully aware. Even if they heard some strange noises, all they could do was exchange knowing, helpless smiles.

...

Evening came quickly, but Ganyu did not attend dinner because she was suddenly summoned by Yuehai Pavilion to handle an urgent matter.

Technically, it wouldn't have been a problem for Ganyu to skip work today, but she had always taken her duties seriously. Lately, with Lucas participating in the Tianshu election, she had already missed a fair amount of work. So after hastily filling her stomach, she left right away.

Perhaps because she knew that they might be heading to Inazuma to search for her brother tomorrow, Lumine felt the time dragging on. To pass it quicker, she and Paimon decided to head to bed early.

Compared to camping in the wilderness or sleeping in cheap inns, Ganyu's guest room was vastly superior. Lumine quickly fell into a deep sleep.

She didn't know how long had passed before she felt someone nudging her. When she opened her eyes, she saw Paimon gently pushing her, her little face blushing as she said, "Lumine, will you come to the bathroom with me?"

"Can't you just find a tree nearby?" Lumine mumbled sleepily.

"This… this isn't a forest!" Paimon said angrily. "Hurry up, I can't hold it anymore!"

Only then did Lumine fully wake up. True, they weren't out camping this time. With a sigh of resignation, she yawned and said, "All right, let's go."

The night air was a bit chilly. As the wind brushed Lumine's cheeks, her drowsiness faded. The two walked ahead, but soon heard a faint and "unusual" sound.

Not far away, Ganyu's room was lit. On the wall, two shadows shifted constantly under the light.

"That's strange…" Lumine whispered. "Isn't Lady Ganyu supposed to be on night duty?"

Paimon also frowned. "Should we go take a look?"

"Better not," Lumine hesitated. "If we get caught, it could be bad."

"But if we don't find out the truth, I won't be able to sleep," Paimon said stubbornly. "Aren't you even a little curious?"

Lumine was, of course, extremely curious. Unable to resist Paimon's urging, the two crept over to Ganyu's room and began eavesdropping.

"W-Wait… can I take a break?"

The breathless male voice was unmistakably Lucas's.

"What, you had energy for serving my senior earlier, but now with me, you're suddenly tired?"

Right after that came another burst of intense motion.

And the woman speaking wasn't Ganyu—but the silver-haired junior they'd met before—Shenhe!

The two of them froze in disbelief.

This relationship… wasn't it a bit too chaotic?

So Lucas wasn't just Ganyu's lover—he was involved with her junior too?

And not only that, they were doing it right in Ganyu's room?

Where was the morality?

Where was the law?

"This isn't about being tired," Lucas said. "It's just… being upside down like this, who can take it?"

"You standing means I have to kneel. Being upside down is just right," Shenhe said coldly. "I hate kneeling."

Upside down?

Lumine's face turned crimson. Though she lacked experience in such matters, she knew the basic theory. She couldn't even begin to imagine what kind of position required being upside down.

Paimon was even more curious than Lumine and almost peeked through the window—thankfully, Lumine pulled her back just in time.

"I could just lie down instead," Lucas said with exasperation. "Besides, what if Ganyu comes back and sees us like this? That'd be so awkward."

"What's awkward about it?" Shenhe replied indifferently. "She can join us if she wants. You're leaving tomorrow. If you don't hand over the rest of your 'ration' today, neither of us will let you go!"

Together?

Lumine was so shocked she instinctively covered her mouth.

Could it be that Lucas not only had both of these sisters, but they were actually aware of each other's relationship with him?

This kind of situation could no longer be described as merely "messy."

This so-called Ganyu residence was practically… Lucas's private playground!

Lumine simply couldn't believe it. The warm, kind Brother Lucas she knew—was actually this wild?

Beside her, Paimon's cheeks were equally flushed. Evidently, even just hearing the sounds from inside was enough to stir the imagination.

Ten minutes later.

Lumine and Paimon couldn't even remember how they had managed to return to their room.

"I really can't believe it…" Lumine murmured with emotion. "So Brother Lucas is that kind of person…"

"This must be what they mean by 'you only know someone's face, not their heart,'" Paimon crossed her arms seriously. "I've decided! I'm giving him a new nickname—Sneaky Tomcat!"

Honestly, with everything Lucas had done, even harsher nicknames wouldn't have been an exaggeration. But even Paimon was too embarrassed to say something more vulgar.

"Well, in the end, this is still their private matter," Lumine tried to reassure herself. "Brother Lucas… probably isn't a bad person."

"Don't let your guard down!" Paimon warned sternly. "You have to be careful!"

"Eh?" Lumine looked confused. "Why do I need to be careful?"

"Even if Brother Lucas isn't a bad guy, you saw it too—he's got a real knack for charming pretty girls," Paimon pointed at Lumine's chest. "From Jean in Mondstadt, to Miss Eula, to Ganyu and Shenhe here in Liyue—he somehow manages to get close to all of them!"

"That's because Brother Lucas is helpful and selfless," Lumine defended. "You know how much he's done for the Knights of Favonius."

"But don't you think it's strange?" Paimon frowned thoughtfully. "If Brother Lucas is really that capable, why would Lady Ganyu still need our help? What if… she deliberately arranged for you to be near him—so you'd be his next target!"

"No… no way!" Lumine's face turned bright red, and she waved her hands frantically. "First of all, it's not like Brother Lucas would even be interested in me! And besides, my only goal right now is to find my brother—I'm not even thinking about that kind of thing!"

"But…" Paimon tilted her head. "Your face is really red, you know."

"Anyone would be embarrassed after hearing all that, okay?" Lumine buried herself under the covers. "It's late. Just—just go to sleep already!"

"Don't worry," Paimon patted her on the back. "With me around, there's no way you'll get seduced so easily—"

"GO TO SLEEP!"

Lumine's voice jumped by several decibels, instantly scaring the little companion into diving under the blanket.

"Wait a second…" Paimon suddenly paused. "I feel like… I forgot something important?"

...

The next day.

At Liyue Harbor, the distant sea was calm, its surface stretching uninterrupted toward the horizon. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky. Even the most cautious old sailor wouldn't doubt that today was a perfect day to set sail.

On the deck of the Alcor.

"C'mon, bringing gifts? Isn't that a bit too formal?" Beidou crossed her arms with a hearty laugh. "It's just a trip to Inazuma. No big deal!"

Lumine and Paimon both wore somewhat awkward expressions.

You sure weren't saying that two days ago!

"Thank you for your kindness, Captain Beidou," Lucas smiled. "But it's better to keep official and personal matters separate. All the necessary documents have already been approved. As for the cost, it'll be covered privately by Lady Ganyu."

Of course, even though it was "covered by Ganyu," the 30 million Mora was something Lucas had paid out of pocket without a second thought.

Since they were already married, naturally their assets were shared. While Lucas could be considered fairly wealthy himself, compared to Ganyu's unfathomable fortune, it was still a drop in the ocean.

"No need to get all serious over money," Beidou waved her hand. "The weather's great these days. A sailor could steer straight even after half a bottle of rum. Just treat it as a seafaring vacation. Kazuha, find a room for our three guests."

"Understood, Captain." A pale-haired young swordsman leapt down from the mast, expression calm. "This way, please."

His features were delicate and elegant, and his movements revealed a certain martial sharpness. It was obvious that he was none other than the in-game character—Kaedehara Kazuha.

With his skill, had he joined the recent Tianshu election, he likely could've placed quite highly. However, not being a native of Liyue, he naturally wasn't eligible.

Though it was hard to fully assess Kazuha's strength just by observing, Lucas estimated that in pure combat technique, he was probably on par with Shenhe. In a life-or-death fight, though, he might be slightly inferior.

Kazuha led the three of them into the cabin and stopped in front of one room. "This will be your quarters for the next few days. Feel free to use it as needed."

"W-Wait a second!" Paimon quickly exclaimed. "You mean… all three of us are sharing one room?"

"Space aboard is limited," Kazuha replied calmly. "Most rooms are shared by several people. This one could easily sleep four or five. Besides…" his gaze shifted toward Paimon as he rubbed his chin. "You only count as half a person at best. You won't take up much space."

"H-Half a person?!" Paimon puffed up in fury. "That's so rude!"

"Okay, okay, we'll take this room," Lumine quickly grabbed Paimon with an apologetic smile. "We're fine here. Thank you for the help."

"Food and water will be delivered at set times," Kazuha nodded. "If you need anything, I'm right next door."

"Thanks." Lucas closed the door and glanced at the two girls, somewhat helpless. "Looks like we'll have to make do."

"I'm already happy just to have a place to sleep," Lumine shook her head. "As long as I can get to Inazuma, even sleeping on deck would be fine."

"Wait… did you two not sleep well yesterday?" Lucas looked at them, puzzled. "Those dark circles under your eyes are… kind of serious."

Although Lumine had gone straight to bed after returning to the room last night, she still couldn't fall asleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she couldn't help but imagine the scene of Lucas and Shenhe in the room together.

She didn't know how much time had passed before she finally drifted off in a daze—only to have a rather steamy dream. In that dream, the one entangled with Lucas wasn't Shenhe, but herself.

That was why she hardly got any proper rest the entire night.

Now, when Lucas asked her, Lumine naturally recalled the scenes from her dream. Her face flushed at once as she quickly replied, "I… I was just too excited, so I didn't sleep well."

"It's fine. We'll have plenty of time to rest on the ship these next few days," Lucas said with a smile. "I'll take care of you."

"Ahem!"

Unexpectedly, Paimon suddenly stepped between the two, frowning slightly. "Brother Lucas, Lumine is still a girl, so you'd better watch yourself."

As she spoke, Paimon somehow produced a white bedsheet and hung it across a clothesline between the two beds, forming a barrier that separated them.

Paimon poked half her head out from behind the sheet and smiled. "Now that's much better. Brother Lucas, no peeking while we're changing clothes!"

"Lumine changing is understandable…" Lucas said with a straight face. "But you? Do you even need to change clothes?"

"You… Why are you all so rude?!" Paimon shouted, her cheeks puffed up as she retreated behind the sheet. "Anyway—no peeking!"

"Alright, alright!" Lucas chuckled bitterly, heading toward the door. "You two rest up. I'll go get some fresh air."

Watching Lucas leave, Lumine felt a bit conflicted. "Aren't we being a bit harsh?"

After all, Lucas had helped them a lot already. There really wasn't a good reason to be so guarded toward him.

"If I didn't know what happened yesterday, I wouldn't be this cautious either," Paimon sighed. "I just don't want you to get taken advantage of. What if… he tries to peek while you're changing?"

"If he really wanted to look, would I even be able to stop him?" Lumine said thoughtfully. "With all he's done for us, if he wanted to ask something more of me, I don't think I'd be in a position to say no."

"If he really made such a request… then…" Paimon gritted her teeth. "Then I'll sacrifice my body instead!"

"Pfft…" Lumine couldn't help but cover her mouth and laugh.

"Hey! Did you just laugh?!"

"No, I didn't…"

"You totally did! You haven't even stopped! Aaaah! You're all so mean! I'm gonna die from anger!"

The small room was filled with the sound of the girls laughing and playing, adding a bit of liveliness to the otherwise monotonous voyage.

...

Nightfall.

"Gulp, gulp…" Lucas downed the last of the rum in his bottle, gazing at the horizon where Liyue Harbor had long since vanished from sight. A strange sense of homesickness unexpectedly welled up in his chest.

Fresh water on ships was hard to preserve—it could easily go bad and become undrinkable. Drinking spoiled water could cause stomachaches, diarrhea, or even dysentery.

To ensure safe drinking water, sailors had come up with a solution: mix alcohol into the water. Among them, rum was especially popular due to its low cost and bold flavor.

Of course, to someone used to drinking fine liquor like Lucas, this stuff was hardly palatable. Just to let the alcohol take effect and ease his nostalgia, he had even temporarily disabled his [Never Drunk] talent so he could at least get tipsy.

"Hey, quit drinking that horse piss."

A hearty voice suddenly sounded from behind. Beidou had appeared at some point, holding a bottle of wine, which she stuffed into Lucas's arms with a grin. "Here, try this. The captain's private stash."

Lucas didn't stand on ceremony. He pulled the cork and took two big gulps, immediately exclaiming, "Now that's good stuff!"

"Why aren't you back in your cabin at this hour?" Beidou asked. "Don't tell me the Tianshu Star can't get used to life aboard?"

Although Lucas's Tianshu identity wasn't yet publicly announced, all the candidates who participated in the final round of the election were well aware.

"Well, it's just that there are two girls in that room," Lucas smiled helplessly. "I figured they'd be more comfortable without me there. I planned to wait until they fell asleep before going back."

"Huh, didn't expect you to be that considerate," Beidou chuckled, removing her hairpin and letting her sleek black hair fall loose. "What do you say—if you don't mind, you could come crash in the captain's cabin. My bed's big and comfy. And I don't mind a little noise."

Normally, Beidou gave off a bold and heroic aura. But with her hair down, she suddenly seemed more feminine, and her body, tinged with the scent of sea wind and strong wine, exuded a powerful, raw feminine charm.

"I…" Lucas instinctively swallowed hard.

Seeing Lucas's dazed expression, Beidou burst into hearty laughter. "Don't get the wrong idea! I just wanted someone to share a drink with. Whether you dare or not is up to you."

As she swaggered off, Lucas couldn't help but feel amused and a little speechless.

That… really didn't sound like a simple invitation to drink, did it?

"This is a first…"

At that moment, a voice drifted from the mast. Kaedehara Kazuha, who had been napping up there, stretched lazily and said, "I've never seen the boss personally invite someone to the captain's cabin for a drink."

"So what happens if I don't go?" Lucas grinned, tossing the half-full bottle of wine into the air.

With a flash of steel, Kazuha drew a katana from his waist and neatly caught the bottle on his blade, taking two swigs without hesitation. "I don't know. All I know is—on this ship, offending the captain is never a wise idea."

[I trust you haven't forgotten our agreement, have you?]

Just as Lucas was considering whether to attend the impromptu drinking session, the system's voice suddenly echoed in his mind like a ghost.

Lucas smiled. "Perfect timing. I was just getting bored. Fire up the simulator to kill some time."

Even the system sounded slightly exasperated—but this might indeed be a good opportunity.

[Acknowledged. Life Simulator will now activate.]

[Please choose three of the following talents at will. After the simulation ends, one will be retained as an inherent talent.]

[You Are Not Allowed to Attend Silver Parties (Green): You are prohibited from attending any silver parties, but your mental strength is permanently increased by 30%.]

[Wealth Cannot Win (Green): You were born into a wealthy family, but any competition you participate in or support will never win.]

[Mirror Flower, Water Moon (Purple): By touching the target's body, you can temporarily induce hallucinations. The lower the target's alertness toward you and the weaker their mental strength, the more likely it is to succeed.]

[Dwarf-Tech Towel (Green): You possess a towel that will never be damaged and can be compressed in size.]

[Late Bloomer (Blue): Your aptitude and talent will continue to improve with age, but your starting stats are low.]

[Table-Flipping Mastiff (Green): You were born raising a powerful mastiff, but if you don't feed it on time, it will flip your dining table.]

[Deported (White): You will have foreign citizenship, but after age 30 you will be deported and randomly sentenced to 1 to 13 years in prison.]

[Bully (Green): You naturally enjoy bullying others and derive pleasure from it.]

[Dice-Type Fighter (Blue): Each time you enter combat, you roll a 9-sided die. Based on the result, you exert 20%–180% of your power (die result × 20%).]

[Kricketune Hero (White): You own a Pokémon—Kricketune.]

Ugh...

Another batch of inexplicably weird talents.

What the heck is a Table-Flipping Mastiff? The Little Red Truck users would be furious!

Also, sure, getting a Pokémon is nice and all, but why Kricketune?

What can Kricketune even do? It's completely useless!

After thinking it through, only the purple talent [Mirror Flower, Water Moon] was a no-brainer pick. In addition, [Late Bloomer] was worth selecting—at least it offered long-term benefits.

As for the third talent, Lucas decided to go with a more stable inherent one—[Try Again], essentially a life insurance policy that gave him one chance to start over if he died unexpectedly.

[Talent selection complete. Generating character template.]

[Life simulation about to begin.]

[Age 0: You were born in Inazuma City, capital of the Inazuma Nation. Your mother died during childbirth.]

Right out the gate, mother dies in labor…

This feels like a pretty terrible start.

Also, why "Inazuma City"? If Lucas remembered correctly, Inazuma's capital should be "Inazuma City" in the sense of a castle town—城—not 市. The difference between a city and a castle is generally significant.

Having gone through the simulator so many times, Lucas was already familiar with some of its quirks. The simulator would never make such a basic lore mistake. There had to be something different about this so-called "Inazuma City."{Author's Note: In case it wasn't clear, this is actually a subtle change in Chinese terminology. Inazuma's lore centers around the concept of eternity and a closed, traditional society governed by the Raiden Shogun. The original term uses 城, which refers to a feudal "castle-city." Replacing it with 市, the modern term for "city," suggests the possibility of an alternate or reimagined version of Inazuma.}

[Age 1: Your wife's—no, your mother's death hit your father hard. He completely fell apart, even lost his job, and now barely survives on social assistance.]

Social assistance?

There's social welfare in Inazuma?

Lucas furrowed his brow. This world setting was starting to feel more and more off.

[Age 2: You appear significantly duller than other children (Effect of the [Late Bloomer] talent activated). Your father even suspects you were choked by your umbilical cord during birth. Even so, he never gave up on you and decided to live on with you in mutual dependence.]

[Age 3: You are still completely mute, unable to even say "Papa." No matter how many times your father teaches you, you can only make babbling noises. This deeply disappoints him, and he often cries at night in front of your mother's memorial portrait, muttering helplessly about how he wishes she had taken him with her.]

[Age 4: Today is your birthday, but your family is destitute. Your father, burdened by you, struggles even to find work.]

[Your father took you out to buy food for the winter, but it began to snow. You didn't even have gloves. Snowflakes landed on your fingers, frozen stiff like little carrot sticks—you couldn't even feel them anymore.]

[While passing a cake shop, you stopped, staring through the window at the colorful cakes inside. You swallowed your drool unconsciously, not noticing the complicated look in your father's eyes.]

["Do you want one?" your father asked. Though you still couldn't speak, you understood him. You first nodded, then shook your head. You might seem slow, but in your heart, you knew—that wasn't something meant for you.]

[Other kids your age came and went with their parents in the shop. A delicate boy with short, light-blue hair stood outside the door, holding a cake decorated with chocolate and hazelnuts, waiting for his parent to pay.]

[Your father told you to stay put. Before you could respond, he had already crossed the street and, taking advantage of the boy's distraction, snatched the cake and fled.]

[But just then, a speeding truck—unable to brake in time on the snowy road—hit your father square on. The black chocolate, white icing, red blood, and gray slush mixed together. Screams, crying, and cursing all broke out at once.]

[Everything happened too fast. You wandered over to your father's side. With his last breath, he picked up a piece of the shattered cake and held it out to you, whispering, "Hap... Happy birthday."]

[Then, he closed his eyes. But on his face, you clearly saw a smile—one of release.]

["What a waste…" said the boy—the original owner of the cake—frowning behind you. "That cake was expensive. Now it's been ruined by some filthy beggar. Oh well, I can eat cake any day. But seeing someone get run over? That's rare entertainment."]

[You numbly turned your head and saw the boy's cold smirk—and the snowcamellia-shaped crest on his clothes.]

What the hell?

Even though this scene screamed "New JC origin story," and tugged at Lucas's heart, still... why was there a truck?

In the real world, trucks exist to send people to other worlds—what use do they serve in the other world? Are they here to send people back?

Even Lucas, slow as he might pretend to be, now realized that this time, the simulator's world… might not be what it seemed!

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