Chapter 15: Chapter 15: Past issues and a new hope
Haaah
I let out a long sigh in the hot spring bath of the inn.
Erik: "To think we would lose because of a mistake I used to make in War Thunder…"
Yeah, I know and understand that I could have had them shoot at the tracks of the other tanks to make it easier to take down the rest. But when the Maus showed up and aimed directly at me, I got really nervous. And the last straw was seeing Erika's King Tiger charge straight at my tank, engaging me in a duel, confident that no one else would interfere.
Damn it. I guess the winning streak and the adrenaline clouded my judgment.
Losing because of such a stupid mistake… Am I even worthy of being a good commander?
All I can do is lament my poor judgment. It's not that losing hurts—I can acknowledge when someone is skilled—but the problem is the reason why I lost: I let my emotions take over. At this point, I think I understand Maho a little better.
I'm grateful to be alone in the hot spring because tears of frustration are streaming down my face.
Some might say: "It's just a tournament, you can try again next time."
Yeah, but I can't afford to make mistakes. Maybe that's just how I am… or maybe I still carry the weight of my past. I've failed too many times. This time… this time, I had to get it right. And yet, this happened.
I try to relax by thinking about something else. I know this feeling of frustration will pass, so I play some music in my head and start singing softly.
"Ships on vigor of the waves are skimmingBarren summits to the verdant plainsEach horizon is a new beginningRise and reign
Far from the fjords and the ice-cold currentsRavens soar over new frontiersSongs and sagas of a fate determinedShields and spears
Vows of favor or the thrill of plunderPull together for the clan and kinClank of hammers and the crash of thunderPound within…"
General POV
Nonna walked through the halls of the inn, a towel wrapped around her body, her long hair still damp from the hot spring steam. She had planned to relax a bit after the tournament, maybe enjoy a nighttime bath before heading to bed. However, as she passed by the hot spring area, her ears caught something unexpected.
A voice.
A deep, melancholic song filled with emotion.
She stopped dead in her tracks.
She had heard Erik speak with confidence, give orders with determination, and even joke with a certain arrogance—but she had never heard him like this. His tone wasn't that of a victorious warrior or a self-assured commander. There was something different in his voice, something that made her frown.
Pain and frustration.
The steam in the air couldn't hide the weight in his voice, the heaviness in his words.
Nonna didn't hesitate. She turned on her heels and went to find Klara and Katyusha.
Klara: "Что случилось? What's wrong?" she asked as Nonna approached with a firm stride.
Nonna: "It's Erik."
That was all Klara needed to understand that something was off. Katyusha, who was drinking a bottle of milk with her usual confidence, frowned.
Katyusha: "What about that idiot?"
Nonna: "He's singing." Her serious gaze didn't waver. "But it doesn't sound like him."
Klara raised an eyebrow, while Katyusha scoffed.
Katyusha: "So what? Maybe he's drunk on defeat."
Nonna shook her head.
Nonna: "It's different. It's not just frustration."
Katyusha narrowed her eyes before crossing her arms.
Katyusha: "Hmph. If he's really acting like a crybaby, we better deal with it right now."
Without further discussion, the three of them headed to the hot spring.
They found him sitting in the water, drinking from a can of energy drink, his gaze distant, so lost in thought that he didn't even notice their presence. The steam floated around him, reflecting the dim lighting of the bath.
His voice echoed softly in the cavern, fading into the murmuring water. Unlike other times, he wasn't singing to entertain himself, but to drown out his own thoughts.
"Oh-ho-oh The echoes of eternityOh-ho-oh Valhalla calling meOh-ho-oh To pluck the strings of destinyOh-ho-oh Valhalla calling meValhalla calling me…"
Nonna: "I didn't know you were a singer too," she suddenly said, her voice cutting through the silence.
Erik looked up, surprised. He hadn't heard them approach. Katyusha stood with her arms crossed, an eyebrow raised; Klara observed him with a slight smile, and Nonna maintained her usual serene expression.
Katyusha: "That sounded depressing," she commented bluntly. "If you sing like that, no wonder you lost."
Erik sighed, running a hand through his wet hair with a bitter laugh.
Erik: "I was just clearing my mind." He smiled wryly.
Katyusha: "Clearing your mind or drowning in self-pity?" she shot back, stepping closer.
Erik: "Both." His tone was self-deprecating.
Katyusha noticed and didn't hesitate for even a second. She walked up to him and, without warning, punched him in the stomach.
Erik gasped as Katyusha's small fist sank into his abdomen with more force than one would expect from someone her size. The air was knocked from his lungs in a strangled grunt, and the surprise finally made him notice the three of them.
Katyusha: "Idiot!" she snapped in her usual authoritative tone, but this time, there was something different—less arrogance and more concern. Her stern expression couldn't quite hide the slight furrow of her brows.
Nonna and Klara settled beside Erik, the thick steam of the bath swirling around them, wrapping them in a warm, almost surreal atmosphere. The soft murmur of shifting water mixed with the distant sound of a droplet falling from the stone ceiling, echoing subtly in the space. The dim light of the floating lamps cast gentle shadows on their damp skin, blurring the contours of their bodies.
The scent of minerals and herbs lingered in the air, an earthy perfume mixed with the stifling heat of the bath. Katyusha, without hesitation, climbed onto Erik's lap, her skin still cool from the night air contrasting with the warmth of his torso. The pressure of her small body made Erik sink slightly deeper into the water, sending gentle ripples across Nonna's and Klara's thighs.
The close contact, the sound of the water, the enveloping heat… everything created a sense of intimacy that was hard to ignore. Erik barely breathed when he felt Klara's fingers brush against his arm under the water—a casual gesture that seemed to carry a deeper meaning.
Nonna: "We lost too," she said, her usually calm tone now carrying a touch of softness.
Erik turned to her, seeing her eyes filled with understanding.
Nonna: "We don't ignore defeat, but we don't let it consume us either."
Erik clenched his fists, lowering his gaze. "I know… but…"
Katyusha: "But nothing!" she puffed her cheeks in frustration. "It pisses me off that someone like you, who thinks he's so smart and strong, is whining over something like this! If you lose, you gain experience! If you fall, you get back up! If you fail, you improve! That's how this works! Or do you think we always win?"
Her words hit deep. Katyusha pouted before turning back to Erik.
Katyusha: Lift your head! If you're truly worthy of being a commander, you won't wallow in self-pity!
Erik remained silent, feeling the warmth of the water and the presence of the three beside him. He had expected to spend the night alone, drowning in his thoughts and self-loathing. But now, surrounded by them, he felt that burden lighten just a little.
He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again with a small smile.
Erik: You're right. I was letting myself get carried away and feeling like a failure.
Katyusha: Of course we're right—she said with a smug grin.
Nonna watched him for a moment longer before extending a hand, placing it on his head, giving him a few gentle pats, and pulling Erik's head toward her chest.
Nonna: You're not a failure, Erik. You're just human.
Something inside Erik loosened. He didn't need to respond. He just let the warmth of the moment envelop him.
Erik's POV
To be honest, I know it's ridiculous to feel this way over losing just once, but that one loss reminded me of how, in my past life, my mother used to whip me for every single mistake I made. No matter how small, a lash would land on my back.
At some point, the physical pain wasn't enough anymore. I had grown so accustomed to it that even being struck with a cable or a hardened leather belt didn't affect me much.
So, my mother began reminding me every time I made a mistake that I was a failure, useless, a mistake that should never have been born…
Now, even the slightest error brings back the shadow of my former mother looming over me, along with the crushing feeling of being a worthless failure. No matter how well I do, if I make even one mistake, it all falls apart.
I feel more frustrated carrying these memories than by today's defeat, because today was merely the trigger that brought them back.
Thinking that these memories would still haunt me even now… it's stupid.
In short, when I lost, I felt the shadow of my former mother looking at me with disgust and disappointment.
When Nonna pulled my head against her chest, I didn't feel lust. I felt an inexplicable calm, as if this was what I had needed back when my frustration took over my thoughts.
Having lived in solitude all my past life, I had never known this feeling. So I simply embraced Nonna and relaxed against her as my negative thoughts slowly faded away.
General POV
Nonna felt the subtle tremble in Erik's shoulders as she held him against her chest. It wasn't open sobbing or desperate crying, but rather a silent surrender, as if for the first time in a long time, he allowed someone to hold him without fear of judgment.
She didn't say anything. She didn't ask anything. She simply held him close, gently running her fingers through his hair with infinite patience.
The warmth of the hot spring surrounded them, but the warmth that truly mattered in that moment was the one Erik felt within—a warmth that slowly began to heal something that had been broken for a long time.
Klara observed the scene with a mixture of surprise and understanding. It wasn't common to see Erik like this. His usual defiant attitude, his confidence, his ability to stay strong no matter the situation… all of that was gone in this moment.
What remained before her was not the commander of Carolus Rex, but a young man who, deep down, just needed rest.
Klara: Так вот в чём дело… So that's what this is about...—she murmured quietly, more to herself than to anyone else.
She didn't need to ask to understand. The way Erik clung to Nonna, the way his breathing grew steadier, his expression relaxing little by little… all of it made it clear that this wasn't just exhaustion from defeat. There was something much deeper.
Nonna, ever stoic, maintained her serene expression, but Klara knew her well. She could tell that, even if Nonna didn't show it, there was a protective air in the way she held Erik.
Katyusha, who had been unusually silent for a long time, frowned and crossed her arms. She wasn't used to seeing this side of Erik, but she wasn't dumb either. She knew this wasn't the moment for teasing or impulsive comments.
Finally, after a long silence, Nonna spoke in a soft tone.
Nonna: You don't have to carry everything alone, Erik.
Erik didn't respond with words. He simply nodded slightly, his head still resting against Nonna's chest.
Klara let out a soft sigh and leaned back against the edge of the hot spring.
Klara: Ну… по крайней мере, похоже, что ты уже в порядке. Well… at least it looks like you're okay now.—she commented, closing her eyes for a moment.
Katyusha: Hmph.—she murmured, unwilling to admit out loud that she was relieved too.
The silence that followed wasn't awkward or heavy. It was a silence of rest, of understanding—of a moment where wounds didn't need words to begin healing.
Katyusha left the hot spring, drying herself off and putting on a yukata before leaving.
Nonna: If you really want a distraction—she said with a small smile—we could find another way to do it.
With that, Nonna and Klara grabbed Erik by the arms and dragged him out of the hot spring. The temperature shift was immediate. The cooler air of the hallway hit his warm skin, sending a slight shiver through his body.
The inn was eerily quiet at this hour of the night, interrupted only by the distant murmur of the wind against the wooden walls and the occasional hushed voices of guests in far-off rooms. Paper lanterns cast a dim glow, their flames flickering gently with the draft seeping through the window cracks.
Nonna pushed open a slightly ajar door with her foot, revealing an empty room. The dim light of a single lamp illuminated the futon laid out on the floor, its sheets slightly rumpled as if someone had used it recently. A faint scent of burnt incense lingered in the air, mixed with the residual fragrance of dried flowers in a small ceramic vase on the dresser.
Klara quietly closed the door behind them, the sound of the latch clicking into place echoing softly in the room.
From that night on, a legend was born in that inn. If you passed by a certain room at night, you might just hear strange noises…
The next morning arrived with an unusual air of tranquility. The sun barely peeked over the horizon, painting the sky in warm hues, while the inn remained in peaceful silence… at least until a door suddenly swung open.
Erik stepped out first, his uniform disheveled, his hair a mess, walking with a mix of pride and exhaustion. Behind him, Klara and Nonna emerged with an elegance that contrasted sharply with the events of the previous night.
Nonna, as always, kept a composed expression, though a faint glint in her eyes betrayed that she was more relaxed than usual. Klara, on the other hand, had a satisfied smile, stretching with complete ease.
Klara was adjusting her clothes while Nonna was fixing her bra, though without denying the obvious. Erik ran a hand over the back of his neck, still feeling the weight of the previous night on his body.
Erik: "I doubt we can stay here again without getting weird looks."
Klara let out a low chuckle.
Klara: Тебя это сейчас беспокоит? Думаю, уже слишком поздно, чтобы отступать. "Does that bother you now? I think it's too late to back out."
At that moment, Katyusha's bedroom door burst open, and the small Pravda commander stormed out with a look of absolute displeasure.
Katyusha: "Can you explain to me what the hell those noises were last night?!"
The trio froze. Klara and Erik averted their gazes with slightly guilty smiles, while Nonna simply maintained her usual expression and gave a thumbs-up.
Nonna: "I don't know what you're talking about, Katyusha." —she said with absolute calm.
Katyusha: "Don't give me that nonsense! I know exactly what you were doing!" —she bellowed, her face turning red with fury.
Klara approached with an amused smile and patted Katyusha's head, which only made her even angrier.
Klara: "Don't worry, our dear commander. If you ever want to know exactly what happened... we can show you." —she whispered teasingly in Katyusha's native tongue.
Katyusha: "S-Shut up, Klara! As if I'd want to know something so… so…! Ugh, forget it!" —she shouted before turning around in fury and stomping away, mumbling unintelligible things while her subordinates looked on in confusion.
Erik let out a low chuckle, glancing at Nonna and Klara.
Erik: "Well… I guess we're now officially marked in this inn."
Nonna simply nodded before speaking in her usual calm tone.
Nonna: "Let's move on."
And with that, the trio left the inn, certain that the legend of that night would be told for a very, very long time.
Extra:
The fact that Erik had slept with Katyusha's two subordinates didn't remain a secret for long, as their moans and cries had been so loud that nearly everyone was already gossiping about it everywhere. The rumor exploded like an artillery shell in the middle of a strategy meeting. By the time Erik finished breakfast, there was no one left who didn't know about it. Even those who hadn't heard the sounds firsthand now knew every detail thanks to exaggerated and dramatized retellings.
The first to find out was Darjeeling, as her subordinates always brought her the latest news as quickly as possible. She simply reacted as if she were reading a romance, drama, and comedy novel.
Darjeeling: "It seems Erik is skilled on more than just the battlefield." —she mused, bringing her teacup to her lips for a sip.
At her side, Orange Pekoe looked confused.
Orange Pekoe: "With two at the same time…?"
Her confusion wasn't one of shock but more of a "Is that even possible?" kind.
Mika, on the other hand, remained calm while playing her kantele.
Mika: "Looks like the early bird gets the tastiest 'worm'."
She had already considered approaching Erik with such intentions, but she took it with humor, as she didn't mind sharing him with others.
Anchovy, upon hearing the news, was left slack-jawed—but for a different reason.
Anchovy: "What kind of pasta did that guy use to win them over?!"
Pepperoni, standing beside her with an ironic smile, watched as her commander seemed more concerned about food than the actual situation.
"So if someone just gives her food, will she accept…?" —thought the girls of Anzio as they observed their commander's reaction.
Kay laughed heartily upon hearing the news. To her, this was something bound to happen sooner or later, as she had noticed from the start how Erik got along with Pravda. The only thing that surprised her was that it had been both of them at the same time.
Meanwhile, in Viking Fisheries, they raised drinking horns filled with fruit juices and celebrated their brother's great feat.
Blue Division, for their part, simply watched with interest to see how the situation would unfold. They had already promised more "rewards" for Erik if he managed to impress them, whether by winning in Sensha-dō or by other means—and this certainly counted.
Maho, upon hearing the news, furrowed her brows and became even quieter than usual. Seeing this, Erika assumed she was furious and immediately started badmouthing Erik.
Erika: "That bastard! How dare he stain Sensha-dō with that attitude?! He should be expel—"
But Maho shot her a glare, silently ordering her to shut up.
"Huh? Commander, what did I do?!" —Erika wondered in confusion.
But Maho wasn't angry for the reason Erika thought. Rather, she was frustrated—because she had let it happen. She had foolishly assumed there was still time, that eventually something would happen… She had deluded herself into thinking Erik would eventually notice her.
But now, she understood the truth: if she didn't act, he never would. And someone else had already beaten her to it.
Miho was the last to find out. In a way, her reaction was similar to Maho's, but in her case, her deep-seated inferiority complex dragged her down even further.
Even if she had tried, would she have stood a chance?
And if her sister—so strong and determined—had failed to do anything… what chance did she have?
Her crew, noticing her mood, tried to cheer her up, urging her to prove in the upcoming battle against Maho that if she set her mind to something, she could achieve it.
Meanwhile, the Carolus Rex girls found out about it…
Freya: UGH, IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME, NOT THEM! THIS AIN'T FAIR!!! – Punching the ground in pure frustration 'cause they beat her to it. (insert Yu-Gi-Oh meme)
Astrid, right next to her, was straight-up losing it, laughing so hard she was rolling on the floor, pointing at Freya like a damn gremlin.
Gudrun was just vibing, but when the news hit her, her brain straight-up blue-screened, like— Wait, what?