MTLNOVEL Chapter 174: Headaches
The corridor was packed with students heading to their first class of the term, chatter echoing off the ancient stone walls. Cael Vale strolled casually beside Katie Bell, his bag slung over one shoulder, book tucked under his arm. Katie, on the other hand, looked positively starstruck.
"I can't wait," she said, her eyes bright, practically skipping beside him. "Our first Defense Against the Dark Arts class—and it's with him."
Cael glanced sideways. "You sound like you're meeting Merlin reincarnated."
Katie sighed dreamily. "He's so brave. And brilliant. I read every single one of his books. Three times. Wandering with Werewolves, Travels with Trolls, Magical Me—they're all so beautiful. The way he outsmarted the banshee, how he tamed the werewolf—it's like reading the adventures of a prince."
Cael blinked. "You do know most of those are probably fake?"
Katie shot him a scandalized look. "You have no idea what you're talking about. He's the most handsome, charming, award-winning author of our generation."
Cael's lips twitched. "Still not as handsome as me."
The voice of the system chimed lightly in his mind, silk-smooth and amused:
["That is without a doubt, host. I fully support your narcissism this time only ."]
Cael smirked. "Glad to know you're not a Lockhart fangirl, Gladiolacar."
The system let out a sharp tsk.
["How dare you. I'd rather be stranded on an asteroid orbiting Saturn than swooning over that pompous fraud."]
Cael chuckled under his breath just as they arrived at the Defense classroom.
Inside, rows of desks awaited, sunlight pouring through the stained-glass windows. Katie tugged Cael to a front seat. Before he could protest, the door opened again—and Cassandra Vole swept in, golden-haired, green-eyed, every inch the cool Slytherin heiress.
She spotted Cael, arched a brow, and slid into the seat beside him.
"Well, well," Cael said, grinning. "Long time no see Princess . How was France?"
She rolled her eyes. "Hot. Busy. Exhausting. My father's business ran longer than planned—some shipping deal got delayed because the loan hadn't matured yet. We only returned three days ago."
"I sent you letters but got no reply how heartless of you ."
"Letters can't fly across the channel, genius," she replied. "Owls aren't built for intercontinental post."
"Right. Fair enough." He leaned in. "So, Princess—tell me you're not another Lockhart worshipper."
She snorted. "Please. I don't believe in fairytales—especially ones written by a narcissistic peacock."
The system chimed again.
"Host, I believe she just described you perfectly."
Cael rolled his eyes. "At least she's not fainting over Lockhart. That's something. Well, except McGonagall. She might be the only woman in Hogwarts immune to him."
Katie, who had started fanning her face, didn't even notice.
Just then, the door at the front of the room creaked open.
The class fell silent.
And Walked in Professor Gilderoy Lockhart, cloaked in shimmering aquamarine robes that glittered unnaturally under the sunlight. His hair gleamed, every golden curl in place, and his grin was already aimed squarely at the room like a blinding curse.
He stopped in front of the massive portrait of himself—shirt open, wand raised heroically—and gave it a warm smile. The portrait winked back.
"Good morning, dear students," he purred, sweeping forward, his voice as polished as his boots. "I am Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class. Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League. Five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile."
He flashed his teeth. Several girls in the front row audibly sighed. Katie Bell clutched her notebook like it might fly away.
Cael slumped in his seat, already regretting everything.
Lockhart beamed. "I will be your professor. Your mentor. Your guide through the perils of magical defense. But before we begin—" He held up a stack of scrolls. "—a small quiz! Just to see how much you've learned from my bestselling works."
He began distributing the quiz papers, pausing at every desk to wink at the girls. A Gryffindor in the second row nearly dropped her quill.
Cael read the first few questions.
And choked.
⸻
Gilderoy Lockhart Pop Quiz
1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?
✅ D) Gilderoy Gold™
Cael: It's the color of his ego.
2. Which book is not by Lockhart?
✅ B) Dances with Dementors
Cael: Surprised he hasn't written it yet. Give him a week.
3. How many times has Lockhart won Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile?
✅ D) 8 (but who's counting?)
Cael: Just him. He brings it up every ten minutes.
4. What was Lockhart wearing when he "fought" the Wagga Wagga Werewolf?
✅ A) Midnight-blue velvet cloak
Cael: I'm sure the werewolf died of second hand embarrassment.
⸻
Short Answer:
5. How did Lockhart defeat the Bandon Banshee?
Cael: He sang a love song to his reflection. The Banshee surrendered in horror. Lockhart called it a "stunning success." Everyone else called it "Thursday."
6. List 5 hair products Lockhart probably uses:
1. Shine-o-Matic Shampoo
2. Dragon Scale Dandruff Shield
3. Volume Max Potion (Explosive Edition)
4. Essence of Ego
5. Hair-Stay Hex: For Curls That Never Quit™
7. Write a short poem praising Lockhart.
His teeth so bright, his robes so loud,
He talks a lot, and seems quite proud.
He signs his name with every breath,
And still forgets how to fight death.
⸻
Essay:
8. Why is Lockhart a great role model? (100 words)
Cael: Lockhart shows you can be famous without being talented. All you need is hair volume, dramatic flair, and an ego the size of a Hungarian Horntail. He teaches us to always smile—even when you've got no idea what you're doing. An inspiration to delusional blowhards everywhere.
⸻
Bonus Question:
9. You're being chased by a banshee, a werewolf, and a vampire. Which Lockhart book do you grab?
Cael: I'd throw Magical Me at them. They'd stop to argue about the plot holes, and I'd run.
⸻
As Cael handed his scroll back in, he noticed Lockhart's smile falter just slightly as he scanned the answers. His eyes narrowed, but the grin returned a heartbeat later—shiny and fake as ever.
"Aha! Mr. Vale!" Lockhart declared. "Such humor! Such… creative insight! I can tell you're quite the admirer." He winked broadly. "Ten points to Gryffindor for your… vivid engagement."
Cael raised an eyebrow. "Honored, sir."
Katie beamed at Cael. "I knew you'd come around!"
Cassandra leaned over. "You do know that was sarcasm, right?"
Lockhart turned next to Cassandra's scroll and clapped his hands. "Miss Vole! Exquisite. Every detail correct. Ten points to Slytherin."
Cael turned. "Didn't you say you hated him?"
She shrugged elegantly. "It was a test. I wasn't about to lose marks because of honesty."
Cael tilted his head. "Are you being serious?"
Before she could answer, Lockhart stood in front of the class and spread his arms wide. "Now, who would like to hear the true tale of how I defeated not one but twelve banshees in a single afternoon?"
Several hands shot up. Katie's included.
Lockhart launched into a monologue so dramatic, so utterly ridiculous, it could've been mistaken for a stage play. He gestured wildly, mimed duels, and even produced a glittering prop wand from his sleeve.
Cael slouched in his chair, arms crossed.
The year had barely begun.
And he already needed a headache potion.