Hikigaya's Inner World of Spring

Haruno hadn't shown up by accident—she'd come to pick up her mother, Mrs. Yukinoshita.

But before leaving, the three of them returned to the café and resumed their seats to enjoy a final cup of coffee.

This time, Mrs. Yukinoshita sat directly across from them.

Hikigaya and Haruno were squeezed together on the same side of the booth, with Haruno practically pinning Hikigaya in the innermost corner like a pig trapped in a pen, surrounded by a mother-daughter duo.

"Hehe~ Mother's really getting fond of Hikigaya-kun these days, huh?"

Haruno smiled sweetly, snuggling closer to him.

"Haha, Hikigaya-kun's the most low-maintenance child I've ever met—more so than you or Yukino. Of course I like him."

Mrs. Yukinoshita smiled, heaping praise on Hikigaya. Embarrassed, he turned his head away and avoided eye contact.

"It's true, Hikigaya-kun's smart and dependable—I like him too~"

Haruno giggled, slipping her arm around his like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Whoa whoa whoa!

That's gotta be a foul, Haruno!

No denying it—Haruno's figure was, frankly, outrageous. And that alluring scent of hers was the stuff of male downfall.

If only… under all that beauty didn't lurk a terrifyingly devious, manipulative demon queen who could metaphorically—and maybe literally—kill a guy.

"It's wonderful, isn't it? Our whole family adores Hikigaya-kun~"

Mrs. Yukinoshita said warmly.

"Hehe, yup—everyone loves Hikigaya-kun~"

Haruno said with a grin, holding his arm tighter. "So, Hikigaya-kun, what do you think?"

"Uhh…"

Hikigaya's mouth twitched as he forced an awkward smile.

What did she want him to say?! He had the devil, the demon queen, and the ultimate final boss all flirting with him at once—what could he say?

Right now, all Hikigaya wanted was to run for his life.

Being alone with even one Yukinoshita was already overwhelming. Having both? His sanity was in real danger.

"…I like Yukino too…"

He took a deep breath and tried to stay composed, speaking softly.

"And? Aaaand~?"

Haruno leaned in teasingly, her beautiful face almost brushing against his.

Oh god.

She smelled way too good today.

What was going on with Haruno's scent? Was she planning to seduce someone today?!

"And… I like Auntie as well."

He stole a glance at Mrs. Yukinoshita, whose gentle smile deepened. She nodded kindly in response.

"And theeeen~?"

Haruno leaned in even more enthusiastically, nearly nose-to-nose with him.

This woman!

Even her scent was practically weaponized—was she trying to assassinate men with pheromones or what?

"As for Haruno-san…"

"Call me Onee-chan~"

"Uh… ahem, I mean, Haruno-san is… also fine. I respect you as Yukino's older sister."

Trying to stay calm, Hikigaya turned his head away and spoke with as much composure as he could muster.

Haruno was over-the-top in every possible way. It even felt like those had grown again. Seriously, how did Yukino end up with none of that genetic blessing?!

"Eh? That's it? Onee-chan's so disappointed~"

Haruno pouted dramatically, pretending to be heartbroken.

"Hikigaya-kun, why won't you say you like Onee-chan? Come on—say 'I like Onee-chan~'!"

Like hell he was going to say that!

No way was he confessing love to a manipulative demon queen!

"Alright, that's enough, Haruno," Mrs. Yukinoshita interjected with a laugh. "Stop teasing Hikigaya-kun. Finish your coffee—we should be going soon."

"Yes, yes, Mother~"

Haruno sighed in exaggerated defeat, but her arm still clung to Hikigaya as she sipped her tea with him in tow.

"Hmm… this coffee…"

After a few sips, Haruno suddenly frowned, a strange expression crossing her face.

"What is it?" Mrs. Yukinoshita noticed the change.

"Don't tell me you need the restroom?" Hikigaya remarked, casually glancing at her tightly crossed legs.

"Eh?! Hikigaya-kun, how did you know?!"

Haruno looked genuinely shocked.

"You're right—I do need to go!"

"…?!"

Hikigaya blinked.

What the hell?

One sip of coffee and you need the toilet?

Was this his fault? Or the coffee's??

"You're driving, so you'd better go now," Mrs. Yukinoshita reminded her. "Wouldn't want to get stuck on the road in that condition."

It wasn't like guys—girls couldn't just pull over and go behind a tree.

"Okay~"

Haruno looked at Hikigaya with lingering reluctance, her voice sultry:

"Wanna come to the bathroom with me, Onee-chan's little helper~?"

"???"

Hikigaya stared at her in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? If you need to go, just go."

He pushed her off him and finally escaped from her clutches.

"Sigh… fine, I'll go alone then. Mother, Hikigaya-kun, wait here—I'll be back in three minutes!"

Haruno waved and walked off.

"Go on, be quick," Mrs. Yukinoshita nodded.

And just like that, Hikigaya and Mrs. Yukinoshita were left alone again.

Honestly…

As awkward as things were with Haruno, Hikigaya now realized it was still better than being left alone with the ultimate final boss. At least Haruno absorbed some of the pressure. Being one-on-one with Mrs. Yukinoshita… was way more stressful.

"So~ Hikigaya-kun, what do you think of Haruno?"

Mrs. Yukinoshita broke the silence with a smile.

"Eh? Haruno? I just see her as a big sister."

"Just a sister?"

She held her warm coffee cup and murmured, half to herself: "Hikigaya-kun, you don't… have any other thoughts?"

"??"

Hikigaya stiffened instantly, suddenly on high alert.

Wait, Auntie, what's that supposed to mean…?

---

Meanwhile, elsewhere—

Back at the Yukinoshita residence, Yukino was lying on the couch reading a book.

Suddenly, a voice echoed in her head.

[Host, now is your chance to complete the Haruno Yukinoshita route. Haruno is currently using the restroom. Quickly, send your boyfriend Hikigaya Hachiman to… passionately kiss your older sister.]

"Eh? A mission? Kiss my sister??"

Snap!

Yukino slammed her book shut, her face flushed bright red.

A kiss… meant kissing her sister's most important part, didn't it?

…Wait a minute!

Right now?!

Wasn't that… kinda gross?

[Host, don't hesitate. This is a perfect opportunity to complete your mission.]

"Ugh… can't I wait a little longer? Why are you in such a hurry?"

Yukino pouted, pressing her lips together, and let out a helpless, bitter sigh.