HP: Card System

After the Sorting Ceremony, it was time for the Headmaster to speak.

If this were any other place, Ted might have reached for the beef jerky he had stashed away to prepare for a long speech. But this was Hogwarts, and things were different here.

Dumbledore stood up, a twinkle in his eyes, and simply said, "Let me say a few words! Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"

Hermione, who had been eagerly waiting for some profound words of wisdom, turned to Ted with a puzzled look. Ted merely shrugged. "Wizards always have their eccentricities. Plus, he's over a hundred years old. Cut him some slack."

Hermione's expression was a mix of disbelief and confusion.

'(﹃___﹃) Are you serious?!'

Before anyone could question the peculiar speech, Dumbledore waved his hand, and in an instant, the long dining tables were covered with a feast fit for a king.

Plates upon plates of honey-glazed chicken legs, roast beef, roast chicken, braised lamb chops, and bacon stacked high like small mountains. Pies of every variety—pumpkin, apple, pork—lined the table, along with potatoes prepared in every imaginable way: baked, mashed, and fried. Yorkshire pudding, boiled peas, carrots, steaming broths, and goblets filled with pumpkin juice, orange juice, and even some mint drinks.

Ted had been in this world for two months, and this was by far the most extravagant meal he had ever seen. Who said British food was bland? Hogwarts was proving them all wrong. House-elves were culinary geniuses!

He couldn't help but laugh as the other first-years cheered and dove into their meals. Ron, in particular, was practically inhaling his food, competing with the enthusiasm of a shonen protagonist at an all-you-can-eat ramen stand.

At one point, Ron grabbed a chicken leg and scooted closer. "Ted, why are you eating with two little wands?"

The other students turned to look at Ted in curiosity.

Ted blinked before realizing what Ron meant. "These aren't wands! They're chopsticks!"

Ron stared. "Chop...sticks?"

"Yeah. I always carry a pair. It's completely normal where I come from."

Considering that the the boy he inhabited was an Asian of some kind, Ted decided to try some Asian lifestyle and unsurprisingly, eating with chopsticks was like second nature to him. Add to that, it also helped him with his dexterity when handling his magical wand. 

The conversation didn't last long, as the feast continued. After about half an hour, the plates vanished, leaving the tables spotless, only for an array of desserts to take their place. Ice cream, chocolate muffins, jam tarts, strawberry shortcakes, jelly, rice pudding, and more—temptation in its sweetest form.

Despite already being full, the students couldn't resist indulging. Ted and Hermione, however, exercised restraint. Hermione, coming from a family of dentists, was careful about sweets. Ted, on the other hand, never had much of a sweet tooth in either of his lives. He settled for some ice cream and fresh strawberries.

A sudden gasp from the next table interrupted their meal. A ghostly figure emerged from under the table, causing some students to yelp.

It was Nearly Headless Nick, the resident ghost of Gryffindor.

Curious students asked why he was called "Nearly Headless," so he demonstrated by pulling at his translucent neck, revealing the jagged, incomplete severance.

Though the spectral sight lacked color, the eerie realism was enough to unsettle many students. Hermione shut her eyes and turned away in discomfort.

Ted, finishing his strawberry, sighed. "Sir Nicholas, I sympathize with your fate, but maybe this isn't the best time to demonstrate? Some of us are still eating."

Nick looked genuinely regretful. "Oh, apologies. I thought you might find it amusing."

"Yeah... not quite."

With the feast concluded, the food disappeared in an instant, leaving the plates pristine once more.

Dumbledore stood again, this time addressing the students more seriously. "A few important rules: First-years should remember that the Forbidden Forest is strictly off-limits. And of course, this applies to older students as well."

His gaze lingered pointedly on the Weasley twins.

"Additionally, for your own safety, I must strongly advise against entering the corridor on the right side of the third floor. Unless, of course, you wish to suffer a most unfortunate death."

Well, that wasn't going to make the students stay away. If anything, it had the opposite effect. Many students immediately began whispering among themselves, particularly the Gryffindors.

A notification suddenly appeared in Ted's mind:

______________________________

Ding! Task Triggered:

[The Corridor on the Right Side of the Third Floor? (Green)]

Since the Headmaster himself made such a point of warning you, it would be rude not to investigate.

Objective: Discover what lies in the corridor on the right side of the third floor.

Reward: 200 experience points, random card.

______________________________

Ted smirked to himself. A quest already? Now, this was getting interesting.

Dumbledore continued, seemingly unfazed by the students' curiosity. "Furthermore, our caretaker, Mr. Filch, has reminded me to inform you that magic is strictly prohibited in the corridors."

Filch, standing by the wall, scowled. His cat, Mrs. Norris, looked just as displeased, her sharp eyes scanning the students as if daring them to break the rules.

"And now, to conclude the night, let us sing the school song! Sing to whatever tune you like! Sing~"

With a wave of his wand, golden lyrics appeared in the air, every letter shimmering brightly:

Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts~,

Teach us something please~,

Whether we be old and bald~,

Or young with scabby knees~,

Our heads could do with filling~,

...

______________________________

Ding~ Trigger task: [Come on, show! (Green)]

What a rare opportunity, Ted! Time to put on a show!

Objective: Impress classmates and teachers by singing the school song.

Reward: 200 experience points, random cards.

______________________________

Ted's eyes lit up.

If I do this, I won't be sleepy anymore!

Without hesitation, he grabbed his chopsticks, tapping them rhythmically against the plates and bowls. The metallic clinks echoed through the Great Hall, catching everyone's attention.

A mischievous grin spread across his face as he launched into an over-the-top rendition of the Hogwarts school song. His voice rang out with dramatic enthusiasm, shifting unpredictably between operatic highs and soulful lows. The tune? Absolutely unrecognizable. The performance? Unmatched.

If this doesn't get their attention, I'll pull out an instrument and give them the full experience! Worst case scenario, I'll break into interpretive dance. I refuse to lose this chance!

Ted was fully committed. If he had to strip down and give them an entirely new cultural experience, so be it. He had never failed a quest, and he wasn't about to start now. Even if Voldemort himself walked through the doors, nothing was stopping him from securing those 200 experience points!

Luckily for everyone present, it was still the early '90s, and most of the students had yet to be exposed to this level of avant-garde performance art.

It was... overwhelming.

The Weasley twins, notorious for their own chaotic tendencies, had fallen silent, their planned funeral march forgotten. The entire Great Hall stared, mouths hanging open, their expressions ranging from awe to sheer horror. Some students found themselves unable to keep still—their legs bouncing uncontrollably as though enchanted.

Hermione's eyes were as wide as saucers, her pupils quivering. Her mouth hung slightly open as if her brain had shut down.

Neville looked utterly lost, resembling a statue more than a living person.

Jerry's expression clearly screamed: Ted?

Ron's thoughts, if they could be verbalized, would translate to: Who am I? Where am I? What's happening?

Harley simply shook her head, as if realizing,

'I will never understand you, Ted.'

If anyone in the room suffered from second-hand embarrassment, they were likely drilling their toes straight through the stone floor of the Great Hall.

But Ted? Ted felt nothing.

Shame? That's not a concept he recognized. His psionic abilities ensured he had mental fortitude and will beyond measure. Others might call it shamelessness—he called it strategy. 

'Gotta keep grinding...'

After a long, heavy silence, Dumbledore was the first to react. With a dramatic wipe of his sleeve, he dabbed at the corners of his eyes.

"How touching," he sniffed, voice thick with emotion. "Truly... Truly remarkable."

His words seemed to flip a switch. Applause exploded through the hall, like a tidal wave crashing against the walls. Students clapped with such force their hands turned red. Gryffindor students were so caught up in the moment that some even let out wild whistles.

Professor McGonagall, caught between laughter and discipline, sent a sharp glare in their direction, her expression screaming 'not in my house!' The offenders shrank under her gaze, though their grins remained intact.

Meanwhile, the Weasley twins exchanged looks of absolute disbelief.

George: "I thought we were unmatched, but this... this is something else. Whose student is this?"

Fred: "Our house needs talents like you!"

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Word count: 1461