Chapter 184.5 - Understanding
Sylvie's gaze lingered on the faint shimmer of mana in Astron's hand as her thoughts spiraled. His calm, unwavering conviction in Maya's ability to handle herself was admirable. Logical, even. But the more she thought about it, the more it unsettled her.
Would he believe in me the same way?
The question arose unbidden, sharp and cutting, and no matter how much she tried to ignore it, it refused to fade. Her chest tightened as she turned the thought over, her fingers brushing the edge of the table in a restless rhythm. If I were in Maya's position, fighting something like this… would he trust me to face it alone?
The answer she found within herself wasn't comforting.
No. He wouldn't.
She clenched her hands into fists, the thought leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. Astron was calculating, always weighing risks and outcomes. He trusted Maya because he had seen her fight, seen her strength. But what about her? Would he trust her the same way? Or would he consider her too fragile, too inexperienced, to handle such a burden?
Her jaw tightened as her irritation grew. Why does it bother me so much? she wondered, but she already knew the answer. It wasn't just about trust—it was about something deeper, something she couldn't put into words.
She thought back to the lengths Astron had gone for Maya, the risks he had taken to save her. He had faced an ancient vampire, fought something no one else could have, and yet, when it came to leaving Maya to her own devices, he had stepped back. It was unexpected—out of character for someone as practical and methodical as Astron. Why would he go so far only to stop there?
Her thoughts shifted again, and her chest tightened as a possibility surfaced. Is it because of how he feels about her?
Sylvie's fingers dug into her palms as her mind replayed what she had sensed from Maya before—the raw, unfiltered emotions that had radiated from her in the infirmary. Maya's feelings for Astron had been crystal clear: love, deep and fierce, tinged with jealousy and desperation. Sylvie hadn't needed to use her [Authority] to see it—it was written in every word, every glance Maya had directed at him.
Are his feelings reciprocal? The question sent a strange pang through her chest, sharp and unsettling. She couldn't see Astron's emotions—never could, for reasons she didn't understand—but the thought of him sharing those feelings with Maya….
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It was not pleasant.
Is it really like that? she wondered, her thoughts racing. Is that why he believes in her so much? Why he's willing to let her fight this on her own?
Sylvie's chest tightened, her thoughts tangling in a web of emotions she couldn't quite untangle. She drew in a slow, shaky breath, forcing herself to steady her voice as she spoke. "At that time… my enchantment. Did it… did it really help?"
Her words came out quieter than she intended, tinged with an uncertainty she hated showing. She had to know. Had what she done back then mattered? Or had it been nothing more than a fleeting gesture?
Astron's gaze flickered to her, his sharp purple eyes softening just slightly. He nodded, his tone calm and steady. "If not for that enchantment, I wouldn't have been able to do it."
Sylvie's breath caught, a faint warmth blooming in her chest at his words. He meant it—she could tell from the quiet certainty in his tone. Her enchantment had helped. She had helped. The realization filled her with a quiet pride, a small spark of happiness amidst the storm of emotions swirling within her.
But just as quickly as the warmth appeared, it was accompanied by a sharp pang, a thought rising unbidden in the back of her mind. If he hadn't been able to save her back then… would he be here with me now?
The thought twisted uncomfortably in her chest, dark and unbidden. It was selfish—she knew that—but the moment it appeared, it clung to her, refusing to let go. If he had failed, if Maya hadn't been saved… would he have turned to me instead? Would I have been the one he leaned on?
Sylvie's fingers dug into the edge of the table, her knuckles whitening as she tried to push the thought away. Stop it, she scolded herself. That's not fair. That's not right. But no matter how much she told herself that, the thought lingered, a quiet, insidious whisper that refused to be silenced.
Her gaze dropped to her lap, her voice trembling as she spoke again, trying to steer her thoughts away from the dark corners of her mind. "I'm glad… I'm glad it helped."
"It did," he said simply. "You gave me what I needed to succeed."
Sylvie forced a faint smile, her hands trembling slightly as she clasped them in her lap. She wanted to hold on to his words, to let them ground her, but the pang of guilt and doubt gnawed at the edges of her happiness. Why am I even thinking about this?
How could he hold everything together so effortlessly, while she felt like she was unraveling with every word, every thought?
"I'll… keep helping, if you need me," Sylvie said softly, her voice steadier than she felt. "Whatever it takes."
"Hmm?"
Astron's sharp purple eyes flicked toward her, narrowing slightly. He leaned back, his calm demeanor unwavering, but there was a faint tilt of his head as he spoke. "Whatever it takes?" he echoed, his voice carrying a subtle note of curiosity.
Sylvie's chest tightened, her breath hitching at his response. She hadn't expected him to press her on it, What am I even saying? she thought, her fingers clenching into fists in her lap. For a fleeting moment, she wanted to voice the thought clawing at her chest. I also want to be someone you worry about. Someone you trust, someone you lean on.
Instead, she forced herself to speak, redirecting her resolve. "Now that I know Senior Maya's situation," she said, her voice steadier than she felt, "I'll try my best to help her as much as I can."
Astron's gaze lingered on her, unreadable as always, before he replied simply, "You don't need to."
Sylvie's heart sank at his words, but she didn't falter. She straightened her posture, meeting his gaze with a quiet determination. "No," she said firmly, her voice unwavering. "With this before my eyes, I will not overlook it. I can't."
First, she thought, her fingers brushing the table as her resolve solidified, my powers are here for a reason. I've always believed that. If I can use them to help someone, then I will. That's what I've always thought, and that won't change now.
Astron's nod was subtle, but his sharp purple eyes lingered on Sylvie for a moment longer, their intensity making her breath hitch again. His gaze wasn't unreadable this time—there was something there, something faint yet deliberate, though she couldn't quite place it.
"If it is you," he said quietly, his voice carrying an almost imperceptible softness, "this is how it should be."
Sylvie blinked, caught off guard by his words. Her chest tightened, a mixture of surprise and confusion swirling within her. "What?" she asked, her voice more a reflex than a conscious decision.
"Nothing," Astron replied, his tone calm and even, as though he hadn't said anything at all.
Sylvie stared at him, uncertain whether to press him for an explanation. But something about his demeanor, the way he seemed perfectly at ease, stopped her. Nothing, huh? she thought, her fingers brushing absently against the edge of the table.
And yet, despite his dismissal, she couldn't shake the faint warmth blooming in her chest. She didn't fully understand his words, but somehow, she felt as though she'd been complimented—acknowledged, in a way that left her flustered and unsure of how to respond.
They sat in silence for a moment, the quiet hum of the café filling the space between them. The conversation had run its course, and though there was still so much she wanted to ask, Sylvie knew better than to push further now.
*******
The café door swung shut behind them as Astron and Sylvie stepped into the cool embrace of the evening. The air was crisp, tinged with the faint scent of the nearby gardens, and the soft glow of streetlights cast long shadows along the cobblestone path. They walked in silence for a while, their footsteps the only sound in the otherwise quiet street.
Sylvie glanced at Astron from the corner of her eye, her thoughts swirling. The earlier conversation lingered in her mind, but something else had been eating at her since the team assignments were announced.
Finally, she broke the silence. "The teams…" she began hesitantly, her voice soft against the night. "Which team are you going to join?"
Astron didn't respond immediately. He continued walking, his sharp purple eyes fixed on the path ahead. After a moment, he spoke, his tone calm and measured. "Which team do you think I will join?"
Sylvie blinked at the question, caught slightly off guard. She tilted her head, considering his words carefully. "Julia's?" she ventured after a pause. "She did make her offer pretty publicly. And she seemed… determined."
No."
Sylvie's steps faltered slightly, her surprise evident. "No? Then… Irina's?"
"Yes." His answer was simple, but the conviction in his voice was clear.
Sylvie stayed silent for a moment, the breeze rustling softly around them. She bit her lip, her curiosity and confusion getting the better of her. "Why?" she asked finally, her voice quieter this time.
"Why? I wonder that too."