I Am Ironman (MHA)

[Third Person's PoV] 

"What about you? Do you have a 'Quirk'?" Natasha asked Melissa, emphasizing the quotation marks with her fingers.

Melissa shook her head. "Nope. I'm just like Tony—we're both Quirkless. Funny enough, that's how we met in the first place. He hired me as his assistant, and I've been helping him build suits since we were little. Though, when I say helping, I mean he was mostly teaching me until I got good enough to create a suit of my own."

"Oh?" Tony Sr. asked, turning to Melissa as Tony leaned back and sat back down.

"You have a suit of armor as well?" Tony Sr. raised an eyebrow.

Melissa nodded with a proud smirk. "I designed and created the Mark 40 myself."

"So what? Are you called Iron Woman?" Natasha asked teasingly.

"Nope," Melissa replied, pulling out a disk from her symbiote's hidden storage. She pressed it, and as she stood, the disk melted into her hands and began transforming into a sleek, purple-and-black suit.

She struck a pose with her fists on her waist and looked off to the side dramatically. "I'm the Iron Maiden!"

"Oh, like the torture device," Thor nodded sagely. "I get it—because you torture evildoers and bring them to justice. A very effective name to strike fear into your enemies."

Melissa retracted her mask and gave Thor a deadpan look. "It's not named after the torture device."

"It's not?" Thor asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"Of course not," Tony Sr. interjected, shaking his head. "She's probably a heavy metal fan and named herself after the 1970s band. It's a pun—she wears a metal suit, and the band plays heavy metal."

Melissa sighed, her expression flat. "I'm not named after whatever band you're thinking of either."

Natasha clapped lightly. "It doesn't matter where the name came from. The suit looks great on you."

"Why, thank you," Melissa said appreciatively.

"What can it do?" Natasha asked, eyeing the suit curiously. "It looks more advanced than Tony's."

"It harnesses quantum energy, allowing it to phase through solid matter," Melissa replied. To demonstrate, she sank into the floor and reappeared back in her seat.

"What about you guys?" Melissa asked, looking around the room. "What's your thing? Well, apart from Tony, since his tech is just a few steps behind what my Tony does."

"Ooooooh," Rhodes and Clint teased, nudging Tony Sr. playfully.

"That was just rude," Tony Sr. scoffed, taking a sip of his drink.

Steve chuckled as Tony Sr. set his cup down. "Fine, I'll do the introductions."

He pointed to Natasha. "Russian spy."

Then to Clint. "Bow and arrows."

Next, he gestured at Bruce. "Can turn into the green Abominable Snowman with anger issues."

He pointed at Steve. "A super-soldier boy scout."

Melissa's eyes twitched as she glanced at the nearby shield, then at Tony, who looked away awkwardly.

Tony Sr. continued, pointing at Maria Hill. "A SHIELD agent."

Then at Rhodes. "Has a suit too—one he stole from me."

"Borrowed," Rhodes corrected.

"You haven't returned it," Tony Sr. teased.

Finally, he pointed at Thor. "And last but not least, our Princess Sparkles, who shoots lightning from his magic wand."

"I am a prince of Asgard, not a princess," Thor corrected, scoffing. "And Mjolnir isn't a wand—it's clearly a hammer."

Clint deepened his voice mockingly. "And whoever shall be worthy shall possess the power of Thooor!"

"Seriously?" Melissa asked, laughing.

"Of course not—it's just a trick! Come on, man!" Clint said, amused.

Thor smirked. "It's more than a trick. But since you're all skeptical, go ahead—be my guest."

"Really?" Clint asked, excited.

"Go on," Thor nodded.

Clint stood, walked over, and gripped Mjolnir's handle. He pulled, but the hammer didn't budge.

"Don't be ashamed," Tony Sr. teased. "It happens to one in five men—they can't get it up."

Clint gave him a silent look, shaking his head with a chuckle.

"Come on, Tony," Steve said, gesturing to Melissa and Tony. "There are kids present."

Tony rolled his eyes. "What, you think we don't know what an erection joke is?"

After several failed attempts, Clint gave up. "I don't get it. Alright, Stark, you give it a shot."

Tony Sr. stood confidently. "I'm not one to turn down an honest challenge."

He grabbed the hammer's strap. "Alright, if I lift this, I rule Asgard, right?"

"Only if you're worthy," Thor said with a grin.

Tony Sr. grunted as he pulled, but the hammer stayed put. He stepped back. "I'll be right back."

Moments later, he returned with a piece of Iron Man armor around his hand. He activated its thrusters and tried again, but still nothing.

Eventually, both Tony Sr. and Rhodes stood over the hammer, each using thrusters to try lifting it.

"Are you even pulling?" Rhodes asked.

"Are you on my team?" Tony Sr. retorted.

"Just represent! Pull!" Rhodes urged, their thrusters roaring louder.

"Alright, let's go!" Tony Sr. grunted, but Mjolnir remained steadfast.

Once Tony Sr. and Rhodes failed to lift the hammer, Bruce gave it a try. After struggling and grunting for a while, he let go and raised his arms, imitating a roar as if he were about to transform into the Hulk.

However, silence followed.

"Pfttt," Tony covered his mouth to suppress a laugh at the awkwardness, while the others smiled politely at Bruce.

"Alright, Steve, you're up. No pressure," Tony Sr. said.

Steve stood up, rolled up his sleeves, and gripped the hammer. As he began to pull, the hammer nudged slightly—just an inch—which Thor, Tony, and Melissa immediately noticed.

Steve, however, quickly gave up and raised his hands in surrender.

Thor let out a chuckle of relief, though his earlier confidence was slightly shaken.

"Widow?" Tony Sr. asked, while Bruce gestured towards Natasha.

"Oh no, that's not a question that needs answering," Natasha said, taking a swig from her bottle and leaning back in her seat.

"What about you, little Stark?" Thor asked with a smirk.

"What? Really? Can I?" Tony asked excitedly, thinking, 'This is a dream come true! I freaking love my life, man!'

"Go ahead," Steve encouraged.

Tony Sr. added, "Although don't be too disappointed. Since you're me, you might not be able to lift it either."

Tony scoffed. "Just because you can't get it up, old man, doesn't mean I can't. I'm still young and spry."

"Why, you little sh—" Tony Sr. grumbled.

"All right, here goes nothing!" Tony said, gripping the handle. He strained his arm as veins popped out from the effort. He then tried with both hands, still to no avail.

His symbiote engulfed him, and he shouted dramatically, "I HAVE THE POOOOOWER!" He shook the hammer, trying to wiggle it loose.

Unbeknownst to everyone, he secretly scanned the Uru metal and the hammer's structure while continuing his attempt.

Thor's smile faltered slightly when the hammer swayed ever so slightly. However, Tony's exaggerated shaking masked it, and no one else noticed, not even Tony himself. Finally, Tony let go, withdrawing his suit.

"Young and spry, are you now?" Tony Sr. teased.

"Stick a sock in it," Tony retorted with a smile, not genuinely disappointed.

Clint chuckled. "Did you seriously make a He-Man reference? I thought that was too retro for you kids."

"What about you, little lady?" Natasha asked, motioning towards Melissa.

"This is exciting," Melissa said with a chuckle as she walked over.

She took a deep breath, wiggled her hips slightly, and gripped the hammer.

To everyone's shock, Melissa's arm shot up as she applied far more force than needed, expecting to struggle like the others. She took a step back, nearly losing her balance, and stared wide-eyed at the hammer now in her grasp.

Lightning shot down from the ceiling, engulfing her. When it cleared, Melissa stood clad in Viking armor.

Thor shot to his feet, along with everyone else, staring in utter disbelief. Tony's mouth hung agape.

"You… you're worthy…" Thor said, his voice filled with shock.

Melissa looked down at herself and her eyes widened. "Cool!" she exclaimed, clearly delighted.

A sharp ringing sound suddenly filled the air, making everyone flinch and cover their ears.

Tony Sr pulled out his phone, frowning in confusion, just as the sound of pitter-pattering footsteps echoed through the room.

"Worthy…"

They turned to see a nearly dismantled robot emerging from the shadows, its body battered and missing several parts.

"No…" the robot rasped, its voice filled with venom.

"How can you be worthy?" it growled, limping closer into the light. "You're all a bunch of killers."

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