I Can Hear the Saint’s Inner Thoughts

63 – You Made Me Your Side Dish (4)

I fiddled with the ring Victoria had put on my finger, calming my trembling heart. If she’d seen this, she probably would’ve told me to calm down by touching her breasts.

Cosmos, my mother’s favorite. This flower, engraved on the ring, was the same kind that bloomed in the flower bed near our house.

“Seeing something like this makes me wonder if that experience was a dream or reality.”

I sighed deeply, recalling the image of my parents from my dream. The faces and smiles of the people I’d missed my whole life were not so easily forgotten.

If I had accepted Bellamora’s offer, I would have been trapped in the past, living in an endless illusion.

“But, our parents would never have approved of someone like Bellamora as a daughter-in-law….”

Muttering to myself, I couldn’t help but chuckle, thinking of Victoria.

My father’s words came back to me – how he’d told me to let him know the moment I started dating a girl.

He’d wondered how beautiful she’d have to be, to make his son fall for her.

“…Maybe it would’ve been alright if it was Victoria, instead.”

Adding to that, my father gave me a piece of advice.

He said that if I ever loved someone, I needed the courage to do anything to protect them.

As a butler from a noble family who fell in love with someone he shouldn’t have, my father had a hard time running away to a rural village with my mother.

Maybe he sensed that I, inheriting his blood, would fall into a similar path.

“Victoria is a girl who likes me, and even though her words and actions are a bit playful, she’s polite to her elders.”

I smiled faintly, thinking about Victoria’s usual behavior. She lived her life healing those who were hurt or sick, to the point where she could be called holiness itself.

One of her eyes had turned into a flower, the senses in her ears and tongue were gradually disappearing, and even her sense of touch had become dulled, so she didn’t feel pain even when she bled.

‘If my parents were still alive, maybe I would’ve accepted Victoria’s feelings.’

I sighed deeply and ruffled my hair.

Honestly, this was already the second time I’d recklessly put my body and life on the line to save her.

It was already hard to say we weren’t dating, since we’d shared physical intimacy and even mental pleasure.

‘…I’m such a fucking idiot.’

I cursed inwardly.

Anyone you grabbed off the street and asked would say you should definitely date a saint if she liked you.

I would think about dating Victoria, but then I couldn’t breathe when I imagined the future, where she was killed by the Demon King.

For a moment, I had the overwhelming urge to smoke a cigarette, and I curled my fingers and brought them close to my mouth.

‘…….’

Losing someone precious to the Demon King’s hand, once was enough. Wandering through the nightmare Bellamora made, regretting it hundreds, thousands of times, that was the thought etched into my bones.

‘At least…. After killing the Demon King….’

I replayed the words I’d heard from Victoria’s inner thoughts. A world where everything was peaceful after killing the Demon King, imagining building a small cabin there and living.

Of course, scenes of her wanting me to have 11 kids, or showing the dragon’s characteristic possessiveness and trying to pounce on me in bed, were vivid in my mind.

‘…Can I, as a person, even be happy?’

I started to think that I could indulge in that much self-indulgence.

If I could kill the Demon King, avenge my parents, and prevent any more precious lives from being sacrificed.

“You went to the bathroom, and you’re wearing such a serious expression?”

– Ah, even your worried expression is so handsome…. When you look at me so casually, I get all horny….

Victoria, having finished her business, was clearing her throat to announce her presence while looking at me.

Victoria maintained an indifferent expression, but her inner thoughts and actions had been going haywire since we crossed a certain line.

Victoria now wouldn’t leave my side unless it was for something like using the bathroom, and she even went as far as to whine about going to the bathroom together.

I managed to compromise by patting her head, preventing the unfortunate event of her asking me to see her naked or wash her.

Because I can hear Victoria’s inner thoughts. I could avoid her tricks and schemes to some extent.

“…It’s just, I realized that this is how you must have always seen the world.”

I said, with only half of my vision intact, looking at Victoria who was hugging me tightly from the side. Right now, I was only alive thanks to the grace of a Celestial.

One of my eyes had turned into a flower, the sensation in both my ears and tongue was gradually disappearing, and even my sense of touch was dulled, so I didn’t feel much pain even when bleeding.

“I’m starting to understand why you kept trying to fall to one side, and why you went all over the place trying to eat delicious food.”

It was also the reason I so readily rejected Victoria’s confession. The pain and discomfort were enough for me to understand why she was trying to be mean to me and make me lose interest in her.

As if the concept of death was slowly tightening around my neck. That chilling sensation crawled down my spine, shrinking my whole being.

“Astal… I don’t want you to experience the same pain as me. Even if it’s someone I love, I don’t want to share this kind of misfortune.”

Victoria traced my cheek with her hand, a sad expression on her face. I felt the cold touch of metal between her fingers.

It was definitely a ring. The bond that connected my parents, as if acknowledging the relationship between Victoria and me now.

“If you bleed, I’ll be tormented enough to want to replace all of your blood with mine.”

“Victoria…”

“If you fall ill and are bedridden, I’ll lovingly receive all of your vomit and filth.”

Victoria whispered her words of love into my ear, kissing my entire face like a bird pecking, as if she wouldn’t let me go.

“So, please don’t push yourself too hard.”

*Chomp*. *Chomp chomp*. *Chomp*. The sounds of short kisses spread, stirring up a ticklish, embarrassing feeling.

“This is the love I can show you. I am the salvation that will make you love yourself.”

– Because I absolutely, positively want to make you my real boyfriend and have a happy life.

Victoria nipped at my ear with her teeth, even licking the curve of my ear, creating a sticky sound.

“Hoo… Your ears are so soft, it makes me feel strange.”

Victoria’s love was such a deep and heavy emotion. Like sediment, it felt like it would sink if left floating on water.

“Do you… have anything you want to do when you kill the Demon King?”

Watching Victoria’s actions, I asked her my true feelings for the first time. There was a world of difference between saying it and not expressing it.

“…Me?”

– That’s unexpected. I didn’t think you’d be interested in my feelings, since you kept your distance from me.

Victoria made a humming sound for a moment, then showed a struggling appearance, unable to answer what she wanted.

“Ugh… I don’t really know. My only wish right now is to become a good mother and raise my child.”

“…Not like that, I mean something purely for yourself.”

I shook my head at Victoria’s answer. In the end, it was also about sacrifice and consideration for others.

“In my case, after I kill the Demon Lord, I want to visit my parents’ grave with you guys.”

“…You mean your parents?”

“Yeah, and tell them I got my revenge, that I finally did it, even if it’s late… I want to pour them a drink and talk honestly.”

As I said that, I fiddled with the ring Victoria gave me again. It seemed to soothe the urge to die, even though I didn’t drink or smoke.

“…And, I should tell my parents that their son made such good friends. You guys are too good for me.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Victoria poked my cheek with her finger, then pointed to herself, making a silent appeal.

What am I forgetting? The question bloomed in my mind, and then I started to hear her thoughts.

– You’re not thinking that I’ll make you a dad around that time, huh? That innocent side of you is cute too.

“I should also tell them I found a wonderful wife. A bunny-like wife… No, a dragon-like wife, I guess.”

“……”

If this contractual relationship doesn’t end by then, I hadn’t considered that Victoria might become a real, not fake, lover.

“Hehe, your face is all red! What kind of delusions are you having all by yourself!”

Victoria covered her mouth with her hand and laughed, looking at my reddened ears and cheeks. It was the first time I’d seen her, who rarely shows emotion, make such an expression.

“…Shut up, it’s your fault for always rubbing your chest against me and tempting me with dirty talk. Kyle and the others are misunderstanding our relationship, too.”

“What if they misunderstand? I like Astal-nim, and if you don’t dislike me either, then all that’s left is waiting.”

“Waiting for what… Mmph.”

“Quiet, please…♡ You’re ruining the mood I so carefully set…. Ugh…. Don’t break it…. *Heup*…. *Mwah*, *suck, slurp*…♡”

Victoria silenced what I was about to say with her lips, plunging her tongue into my mouth for a deep kiss.

Our tongues tangled, breath hitched, a suggestive sucking sound filled the air, drawing the gazes of everyone nearby.

“…Astal. After we kill the Demon Lord, won’t you come to the sea with me?”

Oblivious, she continued to kiss me until I couldn’t take it anymore and surrendered, only then breaking away.

“I want to show you my swimsuit there. Ah, I’ll wear something lewd and shameless that you’ll like, so you can look forward to it.”

– I’ll pretend my swimsuit strap came undone, secretly showing you my naked body. Then you, all horny, will find a hidden rock and relieve yourself discreetly so no one notices…♡

Adding to that, Victoria spoke of showing me her swimsuit, lost in her own erotic fantasy.