I Don’t Want to Be a Heroic Spirit

"Waaah! It's all your fault! All your fault! All your fault!"

Nero had no idea how things had escalated to this point.

The morning had started like any other. Nero, Alice, and Yunyun had headed to the Adventurer's Guild, intending to look for suitable quests to take on. But before doing so, they decided to grab breakfast at the guild.

While they ate, some sort of commotion broke out at the counter. Nero glanced over, curious, and saw the receptionist wearing an awkward but polite smile as she tried to explain something. Across from her, Aqua was pestering her incessantly, while Kazuma stood nearby with a look that screamed, I don't know this idiot.

Nero quickly lost interest.

It was probably the usual. Aqua, with her negative IQ, had likely done something stupid again—gotten overconfident, bitten off more than she could chew, and made a mess of things. Now she was probably begging for help after failing spectacularly. This kind of nonsense was Aqua's forte, after all.

Not my problem, Nero thought. She had no intention of getting involved—dealing with Aqua was like handling a particularly clingy octopus from an episode of Tom and Jerry. Once she latched on, she wouldn't let go.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans.

The sound of approaching footsteps made Nero uneasy. She barely turned her head before Aqua, tears streaming down her face, grabbed Nero by the collar and started shaking her violently.

Aqua was about 165 centimeters tall, while Nero stood at a mere 150. This height difference allowed Aqua to easily lift Nero off the ground.

To put it in perspective, Megumin was also around 150 centimeters tall. If imagining Aqua shaking Nero doesn't seem plausible, simply picture her doing the same to Megumin. Suddenly, it feels much more reasonable, doesn't it?

As Aqua furiously shook her and shouted, "It's all your fault!" over and over, Nero barely managed to keep her composure. She really wanted to ask, Have you finally evolved from an idiot to a broken record?

"Enough already, you brainless idiot with a walnut for a brain!" Nero shouted, glaring.

"Gaaah! My head! My head!" Aqua wailed.

Seeing Aqua's antics, the rest of Kazuma and Nero's parties moved to intervene. But before they could act, Nero, having had enough, reacted on her own. With a well-aimed Nine Yin White Bone Claw, she clamped her hand over Aqua's face.

The faint sound of cracking could be heard as Aqua's head made unsettling noises under Nero's grip. The noise was soon drowned out by Aqua's screams.

"Wha—what's going on here?!" Kazuma stammered, wide-eyed.

Nero, her hand still firmly planted on Aqua's face, turned her gaze to Kazuma and his party—Kazuma, Darkness, and Megumin—while Aqua flailed helplessly.

"She's finally quieted down," Nero muttered, her feet back on the ground, though she didn't loosen her grip. Aqua clawed futilely at Nero's hand, her strength no match for Nero's steadily increasing pressure.

"My head's going to shatter! Someone help! Help! My divine brain is going to be crushed!" Aqua's wails grew increasingly pitiful.

The surrounding adventurers swallowed nervously as they watched Nero with newfound reverence.

It seemed Megumin and Darkness had officially joined Kazuma's party, completing the core group. And just recently, Axel had been abuzz with excitement due to a major event: the Cabbage Migration.

In this world, most vegetables were living creatures. Whether it was sanma that sprouted from the ground or watermelons that grew in rivers, these plants were alive.

The Cabbage Migration occurred when cabbages, unwilling to be harvested, began their journey across the plains and towns, fleeing to the edges of the continent to rot in solitude, safe from being eaten.

To prevent this waste, adventurers would work to capture as many cabbages as possible during the migration, harvesting them at the peak of their flavor. Each cabbage fetched a hefty price—10,000 Eris each—making the event a profitable opportunity for anyone who could catch them.

Best of all, cabbages posed little threat. Lacking claws, fangs, or magical abilities, they attacked by simply ramming into people—like being hit by bouncing basketballs. This made the event safer and more lucrative than most adventuring jobs, which explained the guild's enthusiasm.

For Nero, it felt like participating in a limited-time event in Fate/Grand Order.

And Aqua's current meltdown was connected to this event.

"This idiot thought she'd make a fortune during the migration," Kazuma explained. "She spent the last few days splurging recklessly—and even racking up debt. But…" He trailed off, smirking as he pointed to a nearby pile.

Nero followed his gesture and saw a mountain of lettuce-like vegetables.

"This moron caught almost entirely iceberg lettuce," Kazuma said flatly.

Although iceberg lettuce resembled cabbage, its value in this world was less than a tenth of cabbage.

"So in the end…" Kazuma sighed dramatically. "All those vegetables only earned her 50,000 Eris."

Equivalent to catching five cabbages.

By contrast, Nero, Alice, and Yunyun had been highly active during the migration. Even Yunyun, who had caught the least, earned several hundred thousand Eris. Nero, with her usual flair, had caught the most, raking in over two million.

It helped that Nero's cabbages were of exceptional quality, fetching premium prices. Perhaps her A-rank Luck stat was working overtime.

After hearing Kazuma's explanation, Nero understood why Aqua was so distraught.

But she remained unimpressed. "And this concerns me… how?"

Whether it was Aqua's bad luck or her reckless spending, neither had anything to do with Nero.

"So why are you grabbing me and screaming 'It's all your fault' like a lunatic?"

Nero narrowed her eyes at Aqua, then turned to Kazuma. "Be honest. Was this woman bitten by a rabid dog and infected with something? She's behaving like she's got rabies—attacking anything that moves."

Kazuma didn't even try to deny it. Instead, he nodded solemnly. "Honestly, I've suspected she caught something long before I ever met her."