I Start with a Bad Hand!

I was momentarily stunned by Roxanne’s sharp words, which I hadn’t expected to come out of her mouth. Her pointed response left me at a loss for words, and I was silent for a moment before I nodded in agreement.

‘That makes sense, I guess?’

Being good at something doesn’t necessarily mean you’re good at teaching it. Roxanne had a point; it could be annoying if someone who was also learning tried to act like a teacher. Moreover, in a situation where both of us felt uncomfortable and aware of each other’s feelings, my approach could have been unwelcome. Maybe it was my selfishness that made me reach out, thinking it would ease my conscience.

I took a step back and nodded.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful from now on.”

“…”

“It reminded me of when I first started practicing. I struggled a lot back then too.”

With a slightly awkward feeling, I picked up my bow and moved to the farthest shooting lane. Roxanne quickly moved past me with a huff, taking a position far away from where she had originally been. She pulled the bowstring again, lips pressed tightly together, making it clear she had no intention of looking my way. Watching her back, I turned my gaze to my own target and thought,

‘Could things get any more awkward between us?’

Even though we never had what could be called a ‘relationship,’ every encounter felt unbearably awkward. Perhaps last year’s situation was better. But then again, archery isn’t a team sport, and our paths in drama would rarely cross. Unlike with Cedric or Elius, who were openly confrontational, my interactions with Roxanne were just complicated in a different way.

Even as I finished my practice and prepared to leave, Roxanne continued to stubbornly focus on her target. The target remained clean.

‘If she keeps practicing this early every morning, she’ll soon be able to fill the target with arrows.’

Despite my complicated feelings about our relationship, I still hoped the new member wouldn’t quit. Maybe we should propose some fun events within the archery club to keep it interesting. I was lost in thought as I approached the academy when I heard the sound of grass rustling from the other side of the bushes.

“You’re diligent this early in the morning.”

The unexpected voice made me look up from the ground. It was a voice I hadn’t expected to hear at this hour.

“…Hayden?”

“Dietrich.”

Hayden greeted me by name and approached. His brown hair, slightly tousled by the morning, fluttered with each step. Despite the chilly morning breeze, Hayden wore an open robe, making it hard for me not to notice his exposed chest. As I tried to avert my eyes, Hayden extended his hand.

“Could you give me your hand for a moment?”

“…What?”

Seeing my reluctance, Hayden let out a somewhat fragile laugh and took my hand himself. Soon, a cold, slimy substance touched my skin. It was a fragrant cream with a mixture of grass and floral scents, which Hayden began to apply gently to my hand.

“You… you really don’t have to do this.”

“Didn’t you just come back from archery practice this morning? It might hurt if you leave it as is.”

“No, well… if you leave it, calluses will form and it will hurt less over time.”

Despite the awkwardness of his touch, having someone else handling my hand felt uncomfortable. I gently pulled my hand away, trying not to be too harsh, and Hayden let out an embarrassed chuckle.

“Did I make a mistake? I heard that putting cream on someone’s hand is a gesture of goodwill these days.”

Putting cream… on someone’s hand? I frowned slightly. Was he imitating what Elius did to Roxanne? That behavior that was supposedly popular among academy couples recently?

‘Isn’t that more of a gesture of affection than goodwill? Who told him that?’

Hayden, watching my expression, smiled, but there was a hint of embarrassment and bitterness in his eyes.

“A colleague told me. I guess I misunderstood. I’m sorry. Sometimes I make mistakes like this. I’m still not fully accustomed to the culture and etiquette here, so I keep making these blunders. I can’t always gauge if my actions are acceptable or not, and I end up being rude to you. Like last time.”

“Last time?”

“When I was with Irene, I gave you those herbs. I hope she didn’t scold you too much. Irene can be quite strict, so if you were troubled by that…”

“I wasn’t troubled. She’s strict, but it’s not without reason.”

“That’s a relief.”

Hayden slipped the small cream jar back into his robe, slightly parting it. Noticing my gaze fixed on the cream, he dangled the jar playfully and smiled silently, indicating he carried it with him every day.

“Honestly, I don’t quite understand it myself. Putting something on someone’s hand as a gesture of goodwill feels… too sticky, doesn’t it? Why do the people of the Empire do such things?”

With an awkward and embarrassed laugh, Hayden’s words echoed my own sentiments. But more than that, his previous words weighed on my mind.

“I can’t always gauge if my actions are acceptable or not, and I end up being rude to you.”

Despite his fluent language skills, Hayden, like me, was still a foreigner here. His clothing, actions, and often awkward sense of boundaries were disconcerting, and honestly, they still were to some extent. But seeing his hesitant smile, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of kinship.

“It’s strange, isn’t it? The people of the Empire.”

As a fellow foreigner, or rather an outsider, I found myself wanting to be a bit more understanding. Having witnessed that ambiguous, hesitant smile, I couldn’t help but empathize.

‘It’s like being a foreigner at a party where marijuana is legal, and someone offers you a joint.’

But I wouldn’t have smoked it anyway…

A chuckle escaped me as I came to that conclusion. Maybe I was getting used to life here, finding the mental space to care and understand others. Looking at Hayden, whose actions often didn’t align with my cultural norms, I thought to myself, ‘It’s true, just feeling physically better makes you more relaxed.’

As Hayden gave me a curious look, I bowed slightly and said, “I’ll be heading in now.”

“Alright. I have someone to meet too,” he replied, giving me a light pat on the shoulder before continuing down the path I had come from. Who could he be meeting at this hour? Now that I think about it, what does Hayden take for physical training classes?

Reflecting on things I had never wondered about in the original story or since I arrived here, I continued my way back to the academy.

***

“They sent me an allowance again.”

“Who?”

“The Director.”

As I muttered with a troubled expression, holding a letter, Agnes’s eyes sparkled with curiosity.

“Your aunt?”

Agnes, still diligently referring to her as “Director,” leaned her head on my shoulder, reading the letter and fiddling with the small gold key in my hand.

“So… she enclosed a key to a safe?”

A note at the dormitory door indicated that a significant item had been sent and must be received personally.

‘Did Baron and Baroness Degoph send this?’

But there’s nothing valuable enough in Heylem to warrant this, I thought as I arrived at the student council office, where Irene was eating a small salad alone.

“You should have called us to join you instead of eating alone.”

“There’s no need to call you just because I’m eating alone. It’s not a big deal.”

“We don’t need a reason to see you,” I responded. Irene chuckled softly and mentioned something about Lucero as she sifted through important mail. She then handed me a letter from Godwin.

“Sign here and take it.”

The letter, more like a postcard in size and thickness, had something bulging inside. The unknown item was a small gold key. Taking it out, I opened and read the letter.

Written in stiff, formal handwriting, the letter contained a brief greeting and concerns that the checkbook sent previously hadn’t been used at all, suggesting a worry that it might have been lost. The note expressed that cash might be more convenient for daily expenses. As I read this part, I felt a chill run down my spine.

‘So… so this is now…’

A key to a safe in the Imperial Bank, under Godwin’s name.

Feeling a subtle dizziness from the increasingly unspendable funds, I started to justify myself as if Agnes were Godwin.

“But seriously, there’s nowhere to spend the money. Going to the theater with you is already covered by the allowance sent by the Baron and Baroness… I mean, my parents.”

The words about the improved situation in the estate were not just to reassure me; the allowance from Heylem, which used to come once a semester, was now arriving monthly. 

While this meant a more abundant life compared to before, I lacked the time or capacity to spend it. More importantly, even with the money at hand, I had no idea where to spend it. The only indulgence was occasionally dining out or having tea with Agnes.

‘Except for a slight increase in my Engel’s coefficient, nothing has changed.’

However, Agnes, more accustomed to spending money, calmly listed things we needed to buy together. Of course, the list was merely glanced at and then sealed back inside my desk.

“Don’t you need new uniforms too?”

“Why? Mine are still new.”

“It’s winter wear made of summer fabric.”

“What?”

No wonder my custom uniform was so cheap. Shocked, I recalled my first solo visit to the capital’s tailor. The fabric options the tailor presented were reasonably priced, contrary to my concerns.

‘By my standards, this was pretty good.’

As I stood there feeling betrayed, groping my uniform with my mouth agape, Agnes asked, “You just realized that?”

“But really, your aunt is amazing. Giving you an entire bank safe! Lucero, being a neutral country, has tons of money. All the nobles on the continent store their funds there.”

“…Why?”

A sudden clatter interrupted Agnes. The unexpected noise made me lift my head from the letter. Irene, who had been quietly chewing her salad, also turned to look at the source of the sound. What the heck was that? Following Irene’s gaze, I turned to the small archive room attached to the student council office. And in front of it,

“Why would she…”

Stood a figure with an almost transparent, pale face and trembling, water-colored eyes.

“Why… would she send you a safe?”