I Was Hoping She Would Notice but again Now When She Did... Im Tired

"I am Lucian. I've always been Lucian. The real me... the one you tried to kill."

At Lucian's words, Cassandra's mind didn't just stop it exploded.

The world around her blurred for a second, like her brain short-circuited.

But deep down, the truth already clawed its way into her gut, wrapping cold fingers around her heart.

Yes.

Harry. The boy behind the helmet. The soft voice. The mysterious aura.

It was always him.

The real personbthe one who laughed, listened, fought, and stood by her was always Lucian.

His real face. His real identity.

She felt like someone had yanked the ground out from under her.

Suddenly, she didn't know what to say. Her lips trembled, her eyes locked with his.

"I… I'm sorry," she managed, the words barely making it past the storm in her chest.

She doesn't know how many times she had already repeated this.

She looked up at him again, this time sincerely, without masks, without pride. Just guilt… raw and clawing at her.

"I wish I could've recognised you earlier," she whispered, almost to herself, her voice broken. "If only I had known..."

Her thoughts spiraled. Every moment with Harry suddenly made sense like puzzle pieces that had been flipped over.

The awkward glances.

The way he'd always hesitated when Avey's name came up.

The silent crush.

On a girl who didn't even like him back.

While Cassandra joked and gossiped about Lucian, mocking his attitude, his pride never knowing he was sitting right there, behind that helmet.

Tho she always had good image about Lucian she wouldn't lie if you to create topics so she could talk about something with Harry she talked about him.

It wasn't that she hated him but... you know just to make a topic to talk on.

How didn't she see it? How did she never even guess?

All those times she said things about Lucian. About how arrogant he was. How "high and mighty" he acted. Even laughed about him being too proud.

And now… now it hit her like a punch in the chest

She'd been saying it all to his face.

She sucked in a breath, suddenly lightheaded.

Did she go too far sometimes?

She remembered that day.

The day Avey got rejected by Lucian.

Her best friend was devastated. Refused to talk. Refused to eat or even meet her.

And she Cassandra cursed Lucian.

Right in front of Harry.

She was really angry at him and Maybe in bad mood.

She said things awful things spitting venom without realising…

It was him. He heard it all.

Her face flushed darker than red. Blackened with shame.

She felt as if her entire skin was on fire with humiliation.

Her knees shook slightly.

A heavy silence wrapped around her.

"I... I really am sorry." Her voice trembled. She couldn't hold it anymore. She bowed.

A full ninety degrees.

Not because she was being polite because she meant it. Completely. From every inch of her soul.

"I now know you're Harry… no..." she corrected herself quickly, her voice shaky, "you were always Lucian. I just didn't see it."

She closed her eyes tightly, trying to keep it together.

The truth was choking her.

It was hard. So damn hard to swallow.

So many things coming at her together it was very hard for her.

But she had to. Because if she didn't fix this… if she let this moment pass… she would regret it for the rest of her life.

Lucian stayed quiet. Just staring at her.

His gaze deep, unreadable scanned her face.

He was trying to understand the mess of expressions, the guilt, the swirling storm behind her eyes.

He finally opened his mouth.

"I never did anything bad to you… even as Lucian." His voice was low. Steady.

"Why did you want to kill me?" he asked, his eyes narrowing just slightly.

"Did you hate me…?"

Cassandra's breath caught.

That question.

So direct.

It pierced her soul.

Her head snapped down again, lower. Her shoulders trembled as she tried to hold herself together.

"I… I…" she stuttered.

Why did it feel like her chest was caving in?

"No… it's not like that," she said quietly, the words barely holding shape.

"I didn't hate you."

Her voice had turned soft now. Weak. Almost shameful.

Lucian looked at her.

"Honestly… I thought I at least had a good relationship with you," he said, his voice quiet, too quiet. "I always thought of you as a friend. Since you were Avey's best friend… I treated you the best."

He looked directly into her eyes now. No blinking. No escape.

"And you just"

Lucian didn't finish his sentence but she knew what he was going to say.

He didn't need to say more.

Cassandra took a deep breath. Her hands were shaking now. But she couldn't run anymore.

She had to face it.

"I… I wanted to kill you because of what your father did," she said. The words pushed through clenched teeth. "He… he killed my paren~" She didn't get to finish.

Lucian cut in.

"I know."

Cassandra blinked. Her breath hitched.

She looked up quickly, confused.

His expression wasn't angry. Wasn't cold.

It was something far, far worse.

Disappointment.

"What…?" she whispered, barely audible. Her brows tightened. "You… already knew?"

She had just clenched her fists ready to speak her pain, her reasons.

But now, her grip loosened.

Confusion spread over her face like a slow spill of ink.

Then she saw it his expression.

Why… why was he looking at her like that?

Why did it feel like she'd failed some test she didn't even know she was taking?

That look… that expression in his eyes wasn't anger.

It was disappointment.

And it pierced her deeper than any blade.

What does he mean he already knew?

"Why do you think I started secretly meeting you?" he said calmly, almost tired.

"Why do you think I never showed you my face? Why I created the 'Harry' identity? Why I changed my voice every time I saw you?"

Each question struck like soft thunder. No rage. Just… inevitability. Truth crashing over her like waves.

Cassandra blinked rapidly. Her lips parted. Then closed. Then parted again.

Her mind was struggling to keep up but her heart… her heart was already sinking.

Her expression slowly began to change.

Confusion.

To realization.

To horror.

He always knew.

Every single time they met. Every talk. Every laugh. Every joke.

He always knew who she was. And who he was.

"You always knew… what your father did to my parents?" Cassandra's voice cracked, disbelief swirling in her tone. Her gaze was fixed on Lucian, wide-eyed, hurt. "That I hated your whole family? That I would even want to kill you? Knowing that still you stayed close to me?"

Lucian held her gaze. He neither nodded nor shook his head.

But that silence...

It said everything.

Cassandra staggered back a step, her world spinning. Her lips trembled. She couldn't understand it couldn't process it.

"Why?" she whispered, but her voice soon swelled into a broken plea. "Just... why?"

Her eyes hollowed, expression blank, like a mirror shattered in slow motion. Countless thoughts collided inside her mind violent, frantic.

Was it all a game?

Was he playing with my emotions?

Did he pity me?

Or... did he really like me?

Lucian exhaled slowly, watching the storm of pain swirl inside her.

He had always known.

When he read the novel the story of this world before it became his life he remembered her. The girl who came within inches of killing Lucian.

She almost succeeded. If not for plot armor, for the detail of his heart being slightly on the left, he would have died.

Even back then, as a reader, he couldn't bring himself to hate her. She was broken, not evil. Damaged, not monstrous.

Her entire family was slaughtered. Her home burned. Her future stolen. All by the hands of his father.

She was an orphan not just in title, but in every fiber of her soul.

She had no one. No comfort. No love. Avey might have been a friend, but she was never someone who could handle the suffocating weight of real grief.

So Lucian... made a choice.

Maybe it was guilt. Maybe pity. Maybe just a desire to rewrite the tragedy he'd once read.

But when he woke up in this world, he thought, "Why not help her?"

Help her see a different way. Become someone she could trust, someone who could reshape her hatred into healing.

Change her perspective.

Help her live.

But now, looking at her again this very moment he sighed.

"Guess you can't change someone completely..."

He thought he had helped. Thought he mattered. But now it all circled back to pain.

Lucian stood silently.

Cassandra's voice came again, lower now, raw with emotion.

"Why?" she asked, eyes red, fists trembling. "Why did you do it... after knowing that I hated you?"

Lucian turned his face away.

"I just wanted to..." he said quietly.

She blinked.

"You wanted to...? Even knowing I would hate you? That maybe I'd kill you one day?"

He didn't answer.

Suddenly she screamed, her voice piercing.

"LOOK AT ME!"

Lucian flinched. But slowly silently he turned his face back toward her.

Their eyes locked.

And she closed hers.

For a long moment nearly a minute neither of them moved. The silence was deafening.

He is still the same. Such an idiot don't know why she could imagine shadow of harry over him. He woulve said same these kinds of words too

Stupid and nonsensical.

---

So many thoughts

Then she opened her eyes again.

Calm. Too calm.

"Do you know... I no longer hate you," she whispered.

Lucian's brows twitched.

"Huh...?"

He had expected anything tears, rage, even violence.

Not this.

He watched closely as her expression began to change. Not gradually. Suddenly. Her pain... shifted into something else. Something unsettling.

Her lips curled. A smile appeared.

Beautiful.

But wrong.

That smile wasn't natural. It was like a porcelain doll grinning too wide.

Lucian's breath caught.

"Do you know," she continued, "there was always something I wanted to tell you... but never had the strength to say."

He blinked. Heart thudding slowly.

"To me?"

"To you, Harry... which is you now. No you were always him. You were always yourself."

Lucian didn't reply.

He didn't know where this was going, but his instincts whispered that it wasn't what it looked like.

Cassandra nodded slowly, almost as if trying to convince herself.

"After thinking about everything... I came to a conclusion. I should tell you."

Lucian's breath slowed. He braced himself whatever unexpected is coming.

Is she gonna curse at him? or attack him?.

And then...

Her smile twisted.

Her beautiful face distorted slightly as she leaned in closer. The smile stretched unnaturally.

"Actually..." she said sweetly.

"I love you."

Lucian froze.

Wait what?

Her eyes sparkled. Something was off. Something wild was burning behind them.

"Let's get married."

Lucian's mouth parted. No words came out.

"Huh...?"

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