I’m Not A Saint Though?

chapter 26

I swallowed hard. I had the perfect excuse prepared, but looking into his earnest eyes, I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

‘This is driving me crazy.’

Should I just confess now that I’ve been caught? Or should I push through with the charade?

Unable to decide, I sighed.

‘I’m doomed. I’m too conscientious.’

I was actually considering confessing because I couldn’t bear his sincerity, not because of threats or torture.

It seemed I wasn’t cut out to be a great con artist.

“Please come in. This isn’t something to discuss in the hallway.”

I led the Crown Prince into the room and locked the door.  Then, I looked at him with an impassive expression.

“Yes, you’re right. I’m not the Saintess.”

At my confession, the Crown Prince’s expression hardened.

Seeing the turmoil in his violet eyes, a guilt I hadn’t known existed washed over me.

Although I felt a sharp pang in my chest, I couldn’t stop my confession.

With a resigned expression, I told him everything. From the moment I entered the lion’s den as a sacrifice, to impersonating the Saintess for revenge against my father, to deceiving the Pope with Delton’s help.

The Crown Prince, listening with a hardened expression, let out a hollow laugh as soon as I finished.

“Ha.”

It was just a breathy laugh, but it sent chills down my spine.

His condemnation rained down on me.

“All the citizens cheered for your appearance. They voluntarily offered sacrifices and donations to the temple.”

“…”

“They willingly emptied their pockets, even though they barely had enough to survive, because they hoped the Saintess would protect them, and as an expression of gratitude to the Goddess for sending her.”

His controlled voice gradually rose with emotion.

“Don’t you feel sorry for them?  Aren’t you ashamed? How could you lie to those people who struggled to survive for 13 years in hell…!”

His voice clearly showed how furious he was.

But strangely, the angrier he got, the calmer I became.

My head, which had been bowed in shame, slowly lifted.

“Ashamed…” I looked at him with an indifferent gaze. “So, would it have been honorable for me to be executed without a fight?”

“What did you just say?”

“Ignorant citizens who mistook me for the Saintess because the hail stopped coincidentally, a lion who deliberately deceives me to secure his retirement, a father who pleads for my severe punishment, claiming I ran away because I was afraid of death.”

Recounting the situation, I smirked.

“I was cornered. If I hadn’t impersonated the Saintess, I would have been forced to die by my father.  Could you have honestly revealed the truth in that situation, Your Highness?”

“…”

The Crown Prince stared at me, speechless.

Looking him straight in the eye, I said, “I was just struggling to survive.”

Of course, I didn’t deny that I had acted impulsively out of anger at the trash who not only offered me as a sacrifice but also tried to kill me.

But I had no other choice at the time.

All circumstances were pushing me down the path of a fake Saintess.

I met the Crown Prince’s gaze, my brow slightly furrowed.

“And I don’t know why I should feel sorry for the citizens.”

“Ha, Lady.”

“Because I was born a noble, I dedicated my entire life to the citizens. I reduced taxes, developed better farming tools, and maintained public order to improve the lives of the people in my territory.  I unhesitatingly shared my wealth when the Empire was in crisis.”

“…”

“How many people in this capital haven’t received the food, clothes, and medicine I provided in the five years I managed the Dukedom?  The number would be several times higher if you include the time when my grandfather, the previous Duke of Veloce, was alive.  And yet, they…”

“What’s pitiful about it? It’s only natural.”

“That’s right, the commoner women sacrificed until now were also someone’s precious daughters!”

“But that woman was born a noble and lived a life of luxury until her death.”

“Yeah, my niece was born into a poor family and suffered her whole life before dying! That woman had a happy life.”

“That’s right, are there only one or two women dying as sacrifices? No need for sympathy.”

“Hmph, was that really for us? It was all to save face for her family.”

“That’s right, her death is a symbol of the abolition of social status. It shows that even nobles can no longer avoid responsibility in the face of this disaster!”

Remembering those who had cheered for my death, I laughed.

“Those are the people who, forgetting all my kindness, celebrated my death without hesitation. Why should I care about them?”

My voice was filled with defiance, even arrogance.

The Crown Prince, who had been staring at me, slowly spoke, “As you said, Lady, it’s because you’re a noble.”

His voice was low but firm.

“You and I are the ruling class. While commoners struggle to survive, we live in fine houses, wear fine clothes, eat fine food, and receive a good education. All thanks to the money earned by the people in our territories, the citizens of the Empire.  With their taxes.”

“…”

“It’s an unspoken contract.  They are responsible for our comfort, and in return, we are responsible for their safety.”

“…”

“That’s why people like us must stand at the forefront and protect them when a crisis like this arises. We must protect them. Because that’s the duty of the ruling class.”

Listening to the Crown Prince’s words with an impassive expression, I irritably pushed back the hair that had fallen forward.

‘Ah, I really hate this.’

I hated his clichéd lecture, his old-fashioned answer.

Yet, the reason I couldn’t refute him and remained silent was because his clichéd lecture, his old-fashioned answer, was correct.

And it was also the belief I had held dear all my life.

I was momentarily speechless at the reappearance of my long-held creed, which I thought I had erased from my heart after being abandoned by my father and rejected by the citizens I had devoted my life to.

But that was all.

It didn’t mean the justice I had abandoned, my wounded heart, would be restored.

“I won’t fulfill such a duty anymore.”

“Lady.”

“I barely escaped death. I don’t want to use this precious life for those who don’t care about me.”

Yes, I would now live solely for myself. Not to improve someone else’s treatment or enrich someone else’s life, but only for my own happiness, my own joy.

The Crown Prince’s expression hardened, as if dumbfounded by my shameless declaration disguised as honesty.

We stared at each other in silence.

It was the Crown Prince who broke the chilling silence.

“You seem to be unaware of your current situation. This isn’t the time for bravado, Lady.”

His eyes, which had been burning with anger just a moment ago, were now cold and dry.

“Impersonating the Saintess in this critical situation is mocking the Empire. Do you not know the consequences?”

At that moment, two loud sounds echoed within me.

*Thump!*

The sound of my heart dropping.

*Flash!*

And the sound of my momentarily lost reason returning.

‘What have I done?’

Why did I confess and even provoke the Crown Prince after accidentally letting it slip?

‘This stupid mouth!’

I wanted to sew my thoughtless mouth shut.

‘I’m going crazy.’

The punishment for impersonating the Saintess was obvious.

Death.

Even with a reduced sentence, I would be imprisoned for life.

‘Wow, this is a real emergency.’

My past self might have acted bravely and said, “I’d rather die than live like this!”

But after almost dying once, I couldn’t bring myself to utter such words, even as a joke.

‘It’s better to live, even in a pile of shit.’

But now that I had brought things this far, I didn’t know how to save myself.

‘Should I kneel and beg?’

Yes, that was the best option for now.

The Crown Prince cherished the citizens of the Empire, and fortunately, I was one of them.

Although I was a sinner who had committed an unforgivable crime in his eyes, as the old saying goes, hate the sin, not the sinner.

‘Yes, I’m qualified, so let’s at least try.’

Just as I made up my mind and was about to kneel with a determined expression,

“But considering the circumstances, I’ll give you a special opportunity.”

“W-What? An opportunity…?”

“Maintain your position as Saintess.”

Huh?

A lifeline descended from the heavens.

‘Wait, I haven’t even knelt yet?’