Into The Thrill

Haewon awoke to the sound of his phone ringing. His body felt as if it had been pummeled, complaining of pain. He felt so weak, as if suffering from a severe cold, that he couldn't even twitch a finger.
"Ugh..."
A groan escaped him involuntarily. Haewon barely managed to sit up, searching for the source of the ringing phone. It had fallen to the floor in the far corner of the living room. He exerted himself to walk over and slumped down to pick it up.

"Yes."
His voice was hoarse and cracked, hardly recognizable. The night he had expected to be romantic, gentle, and caring had shattered his consciousness and overtaxed his body.
The movements of the man, who had been trying to satiate his long-standing sexual hunger, were like those of a beast starved for days, unrecognizable from the person he was when clothed. As the frequency of their encounters increased, Hyun Woojin reverted to his usual self, but the intensity of the first encounter was so overwhelming that Haewon couldn't feel the same person in him anymore. The pain was most acute on the insides of his thighs, trembling even with the slightest exertion.

—Are you up?
"..."
Hearing his voice, Haewon suddenly felt a sting at the tip of his nose. He hated him for causing such pain, yet he suddenly felt an unbearable desire to see him.

—Are you okay?
"I'm not okay."
—Who asked you to provoke?

The morning without him was dreadful. Last night had not met Haewon's expectations. It was neither happy nor joyful. It felt like being swept away into ruins. Despite being washed clean by him, something was still seeping between the legs of Haewon, who sat collapsed on the floor, his underwear dampened.
—Stay home quietly. I'll come in the evening.
"Don't come. I'm in pain."

—Hang up.
Haewon wanted to plead further about how much his body hurt, but the call had already been disconnected.
Leaning against the wall, Haewon sat for a while before he managed to get up and hurriedly showered because of the dried substances on his face.

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, it was hard to believe how much his body was marked with scratches and gouges, not from a lover's kiss but from sharp claws hidden beneath human skin, inflicting both external and internal injuries.
The remnants of Hyun Woojin, lingering in odd places, were not mere figments of a dream but solid proofs of last night's manipulations, as if Haewon had been captured and had his psyche altered. Staggering out of the bathroom, Haewon dressed himself.
The rising anger wasn't because he had left Haewon alone to attend to his own matters. He said he had loads of work. Around four in the morning, a weary Haewon was coaxed and taken to the shower, cleaned, and after showering together, he had dried Haewon's hair and laid him on the bed. Like a doll with only its spirit alive, Haewon had sprawled out and watched him dress in the darkness.
Underwear, trousers, shirt, and tie—he dressed quickly, and with wet hair pushed back, he approached Haewon, looked down at his naked body, and with an expression of indifference as if performing an obligatory task, unzipped himself and took out his penis. That grotesque and savage piece of flesh, erect without considering Haewon's condition or feelings, forced Haewon's limp hand to touch it.

Did he even have a conscience? Layering his hand over Haewon's, he forcefully rubbed it, and without Haewon being able to even murmur, he ejaculated all over Haewon's face and lips. The warm semen seeped into his tightly closed eyes and cheeks, into his lips.
Even though he was not expressive, when his sexual desire was revealed, his posture was horribly meticulous, pouring out a desire that could never just be an obligation without changing his expression.
It wasn't that he was abstaining; he controlled his impulses to the extent that they could not dominate him. He seemed to be able to hide any desire or impulse beneath the shell if he tried not to reveal them.

After drenching Haewon's face and calmly exhaling to settle his breath, Hyun Woojin tucked his penis back into his underwear, zipped up, and after fiddling with Haewon's lips for a while, he left with the words, "Sleep well."
In the darkness, his eyes held the vastness of a dark forest. Watching him leave, Haewon realized that he was trapped in that forest. The gentle 'sleep well' that was no different from usual made tears well up, and anger surged.
Haewon changed and threw away the bedsheet that still bore the horrible traces of last night. Moving made his muscles and joints scream in pain. He cleaned up every trace that hinted at last night and ordered delivery to fill his hungry stomach.

He changed the door lock code of his officetel and left his phone turned over. Sitting sprawled on the sofa, he listened to Brahms' Violin Concerto through headphones. He dozed off and woke up around four in the afternoon.
He gathered his somewhat recovered body from the afternoon window, put on a coat, and left the officetel. The weekend streets were somewhat quiet and calm. He took out a hot coffee from a cafe and headed to a nearby PC room. Not usually knowledgeable about games but occasionally visiting for the fun of people-watching, it was a good place to spend time without boredom for someone with nothing to do, and also apt for avoiding someone he didn't want to meet.
Haewon sat in a secluded spot and watched the videos of performances by other players while listening to Brahms played by someone else through headphones. He also searched for videos of Seo Ok-hwa, unexpectedly finding quite a long list. He listened to a few songs. It was fair for him not to recognize her; she was a legendary soprano in that area. (Of course, she became more famous because she married into a chaebol family.)

When the videos became boring, he entered a shopping site and idly clicked around, looking at clothes. He stared at a dark navy wrap coat for a while. It looked similar to the coat Hyun Woojin had worn recently. He did not deliberately dress stylishly, preferring suits that did not deviate from the basics. His long limbs and superior body balance made him look picturesque in anything.
Unconsciously, Haewon was searching for clothes he wanted to see on Hyun Woojin. The clock on the right bottom of the monitor showed past six. Although he had said he would come in the evening, Haewon didn't care. He had left his phone and, more importantly, had changed the door lock code. He hoped Hyun Woojin would be frustrated and just go away. He wanted to annoy him, wanting to see him hopping mad.
While he was absorbed in shopping, the space beyond the headphones turned noisy. Taking off his headphones, he heard murmurs from people around.

"Fuck, why are the cops here causing trouble in broad daylight?"
It wasn't exactly broad daylight at seven in the evening, but the man sitting across seemed to be startled by something, muttering curses as he hurriedly hid something under his feet in a bag. It sounded like a soju bottle.
Two patrol officers had entered the PC room, picking out the minors. The booming game music from the speakers noticeably decreased.

"Sir, do you also sell alcohol here?"
"It's not us selling. What can I do if customers bring it in secretly?"
The officer seemed to have found something and looked keenly at the man who appeared to be the owner, who was frantically waving his hands trying to distract the officers.

The officer seemed quite aggrieved about his unexpected duty. He diligently found the alcohol bottles and sorted out the minors. The officer grabbed the back of the neck of the man who had been hiding something. Even to Haewon, the man looked like a minor.
"Ah, fuck. Let go. It hurts!"
"Sir, there are too many violations here. I've told you before. You can't operate like this. You know how upset the parents are these days. Come to the station with us."

"Why are you doing this suddenly? Do we really have to go this far?"
"I can't help it. I got a call from above specifically about this PC room."
It looked like the owner was about to be taken away. Since the officer's arrival, people had been quietly slipping away from their seats.

Haewon also quietly got up from his seat. The patrol officer, holding onto the clothes of the minor who had been gaming and drinking during school hours, turned his head towards Haewon.
Despite looking like a college student, Haewon’s features were too mature to pass off as a teenager. The officer’s gaze lingered sharply on Haewon's face before moving on.
Feeling somewhat embarrassed even though he hadn’t done anything wrong, Haewon left the PC room as if chased out. Many had exited in a rush like a receding tide, and he hadn’t even paid.

Where to go?
Haewon stood dazed for a moment. Those kicked out from the PC room were loitering on the street, puffing on cigarettes, looking lost. Haewon joined them, standing vacantly among them for a while.
After being overworked by Hyun Woojin the previous night, his movements were sluggish, his limbs heavy. He didn’t have the energy to roam around. Eventually, Haewon decided to return to his officetel and bought a hamburger and some fries—both of which Hyun Woojin had disdainfully discarded as trash before.

Haewon unlocked the door and entered. Someone was inside; the delicious smell of cooking wafted towards him. He walked into the kitchen and looked at the figure standing there. To his surprise, he was less shocked than he expected.
“How did you get in?”
“Don’t change the code. Finding it out isn’t hard, but it’s annoying. And I don’t have time.”

That damn time, time, time. He wanted to confront him about being so busy that he had sex and left someone suffering at four in the morning because he was 'out of time,' but he swallowed those words. He didn't want to provoke Hyun Woojin and recreate the horrors of last night.
Hyun Woojin was cooking in the kitchen. His shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and his tie thrown back over his shoulder. Sizzle... the sound and smell of something cooking filled the air.
Soon, dinner was served. Medium-cooked tenderloin steaks with butter-roasted potatoes and asparagus, onions, and broccoli arranged on the plate. Hyun Woojin’s movements were meticulous as he drizzled sauce over the food. He set the table and poured wine into glasses that Haewon didn’t even own.

“Eat dinner.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Back to square one?”

“There’s no starting point with you.”
“Why, is sex not to your taste?”
“......”

Haewon had no intention of indulging in such emotionless and affectionless acts again. If Hyun Woojin wouldn’t leave, then he would. He’d rather go to his estranged father’s house than stay.
“Didn’t you think it was irrelevant what I liked? I thought you wanted to sleep with me.”
“I don’t like it that way.”

“What did I do wrong? Don’t you remember enjoying it?”
“It’s because you forced it.”
His lips curled into a smile. Hyun Woojin approached Haewon, who stood frozen by the entrance, wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and pulled him inside as if it were his own home. Then, as naturally as if it belonged to him, he took the hamburger from Haewon’s hand and threw it straight into the trash.

“Smells like cigarettes.”
He leaned in close to Haewon’s face and sniffed, making a face.
“Don’t like the smell of cigarettes?”

“Not on you. It doesn’t smell like you.”
“Is that so? Good. I've found my New Year's resolution. Smoking. Ultimate goal: to become a chain smoker.”
“Wash your hands and come eat.”

He pushed Haewon toward the bathroom forcibly. Haewon stood at the sink, sighing as he washed his hands, then sat down at the table opposite Hyun Woojin, who was already eating. Hyun Woojin picked up the fork and knife. ❖ Nоvеl𝚒ght ❖ (Exclusive on Nоvеl𝚒ght) All things that Haewon didn't own.
“Let’s eat.”
He sliced the meat and put a piece in his mouth. Haewon just sat there, watching him. There was a chilling dissonance between the Hyun Woojin who had treated him so cruelly last night and the one now serenely eating dinner in front of him. They were definitely the same person.

“What are you looking at? Staring won’t put holes in my face.”
“Eat and get out.”
“Hurry up and eat. Shall I cut it for you?”

Ignoring Haewon’s words, Hyun Woojin took his plate and started cutting the meat into bite-sized pieces, returning it afterward. When Haewon stubbornly refused to eat, Hyun Woojin moved next to him. He picked up a piece of well-cooked meat with a fork and held it up to Haewon's mouth.
“What are you doing?”
“Your face looks half gone since last night.”

“It’s because of you.”
“So, I’m feeding you.”
His tone was affectionately teasing, dripping with tenderness. As Haewon slightly opened his lips to retort, a juicy piece of meat was pushed into his mouth. He almost spit it out but then thought better of it, fearing he couldn’t handle the consequences. Reluctantly, he chewed and swallowed as if defeating an enemy.

Hyun Woojin continued to feed Haewon, matching his pace. He slathered sauce on a well-browned potato and popped it into Haewon's mouth. Honestly, it was much better than miserably eating a hamburger alone. Haewon learned something more about him—Hyun Woojin was an excellent cook.
He gulped down the wine Hyun Woojin had poured. Holding half a piece of asparagus, Hyun Woojin waited until Haewon had swallowed his wine before placing it in his mouth. As he fed Haewon, he picked up his phone that vibrated from his back pocket.
“Yes. Who? When? Still there? No, can’t go. Look, handle it. It’s not the first time they’ve interfered, why are they freaking out now? Just say I ordered it. That idiot is stuck in his ways, tell them we’re handling it according to legal review. Keep it confidential. Get the division chief’s stamp, then we’ll consider it. Don’t show the investigation materials to anyone. Who was it that got him released on medical parole after just three months?”

Hyun Woojin issued minimal instructions, aware of Haewon beside him. After hanging up, he flipped his phone face down on the table.
“Do you need to go?”
“No need.”

Feeding Haewon as a mother bird does its chick, Hyun Woojin was diligently fattening him up like the witch in Hansel and Gretel, planning to devour him after he was plump.
After the meal, Hyun Woojin cleaned up. He washed everything cleanly and neatly, drying his hands with a dish towel before turning around.
The cold departure of Hyun Woojin in the dawn, leaving Haewon to deal with the aftermath alone, had been deeply unpleasant. But watching him tidy up the kitchen so thoroughly, the resentment and displeasure faded. Haewon had acknowledged last night and saw no reason to recant his position now. He liked Hyun Woojin.

“Come here.”
Hyun Woojin lightly grabbed Haewon’s wrist, pulling his weight toward him, direction aimed towards the bed. When Haewon hesitated, Hyun Woojin reassured him, grasping his hand. His warm hand comforted with gentle touches.
They sat side by side on the bed. Hyun Woojin fetched a packet from the side table, something Haewon hadn’t noticed during the day.

Inside the pharmacy bag were ointments and bandages. Without a word, Hyun Woojin pulled up Haewon’s shirt. Under the bright light, as if showing off his work, Haewon let him strip him, lifting his arms or hips to assist as needed. Hyun Woojin examined his handiwork, his face close to Haewon's chest, his breath cool on the skin.
He squeezed ointment onto his finger and carefully applied it to the bruised nipples and areolae. Haewon flinched, gripping the bedsheet tightly.
“Should I check below too?”

Unable to see below but assuming it was a mess, Hyun Woojin indicated the bed, telling him to lie down. Haewon obediently lay face down, resting his cheek on the pillow. Ointment was applied along his nape, shoulders, scapula, and down his spine. Moving down, Hyun Woojin spread Haewon's legs apart.
“Oh...”
As if observing the damage he had inflicted as though someone else had done it, Hyun Woojin clicked his tongue and carefully applied medicine to the ravaged areas. Fortunately, Haewon was lying down; his sensitive touches drew blood downwards.

The ointment-laden finger delved into the crease of his buttocks. Haewon's fingers clenched the pillow tightly.
“The lacerations are severe.”
Knowing this, he should have apologized or said he hadn’t known it was so bad, but instead, he just evaluated his handiwork and rubbed around the opening.

“...uh.”
“You can’t do it yourself. Of course, except when I help.”
His slick middle finger stroked the periphery before sinking deep. Despite its significantly smaller volume compared to last night’s intrusion, Haewon felt breathless.

Quietly probing inside, the finger that teased the inner walls finally pulled out, knuckles pronounced, leaving a distinct sensation as it withdrew and re-entered.
“Haah, uh...”