Into The Thrill

He doesn't respond. To him, this is just a waste of time, a pointless argument, an emotional battle. There's no need to answer; even if he doesn't convince Haewon by remaining silent, he wouldn't lose anything.
"I don't know what kind of person you are..."

"..."
"And I don't want to know."
"..."

"I ❖ Nоvеl𝚒ght ❖ (Exclusive on Nоvеl𝚒ght) don't want to know anymore."
He pressed the accelerator. The car joined the road.
Haewon’s heart felt like it had crashed into the ground somewhere deep down. In the suffocating silence of the car, both he and Haewon sat with their mouths tightly closed. Only the sound of the engine and the heater running could be faintly heard. His car entered the officetel parking lot. He parked the car haphazardly in an empty space.

He had seen things he shouldn’t have seen, learned things he shouldn’t have known, asked things he shouldn’t have asked. Haewon was disqualified as a mere outlet for his sexual desires. Haewon was about to get out of the car in silence when he handed him the violin.
"...."
Their eyes met, but it was cold. Only the stark contrast of light and shadow could be seen. Haewon took the violin and got out of the car. He closed the car door and turned away.

He unconsciously pressed the button for the elevator. When the elevator arrived on the 22nd floor, he stepped out. Standing in front of his officetel door, he fumbled with the door lock. He repeatedly pressed the wrong numbers. After making the mistake three times, a warning sound went off. He waited for the button to activate and re-entered the numbers. He carefully repressed the numbers and unlocked the door, then entered. After closing the door, he leaned his back against it.
His legs went weak. He collapsed, sliding down to the cold floor of the entrance.
He hadn’t even properly grieved the loss of Taeshin, the guilt and sorrow that any human should feel for the dead, and even though he knew that Taeshin had been the one to love him, he still sought him out, wanting to kiss him, wanting to mix their tongues.

He had deceived himself, believing that he had him. It seemed only natural that this would end like this, with him in this grotesque state.
∞ ∞ ∞
Time passed without any contact between them. Haewon boarded a chartered flight to China. He went through his busy schedule. The collaboration with the Chinese pianist who won the Chopin competition took place in the largest classical concert hall in China, and it was broadcast live across the country. Seok Hwa, also invited as a VIP to China, crossed paths with Haewon at various locations, but Haewon simply nodded and passed by her.

Seok Hwa thought Haewon was avoiding showing any familiarity in front of the other orchestra members, but she didn’t realize that Haewon wasn’t aware of how close she had come to having a monster as her son-in-law, nor did she know that the monster she had come to like was the one her daughter had loved. She smiled understandingly, unaware.
By the time Haewon returned after the performance tour, the confusion from the previous days seemed to have calmed down.
Haewon took a taxi from the airport and went straight to his officetel. He unlocked the door and opened it with a tired hand, not even wanting to touch it.

Hyun Woojin was sitting on the sofa in the officetel. It was an unexpected meeting. Their eyes met, but Haewon turned his head, pretending not to notice. He was someone who could easily find out about Haewon’s return schedule. He set down his suitcase and violin case, took off his clothes, and went into the bathroom. When he came out after showering, Hyun Woojin hadn’t moved from his seat.
"Haewon."
"I don’t want to talk, so just get lost."
Haewon dried his hair with a towel and opened the refrigerator. The fridge was stuffed with all sorts of ingredients, bought with the intention of cooking when Hyun Woojin came, begging him to cook. He took out a trash bag. He opened the fridge and started putting whatever he could grab into the bag, one by one. Two trash bags were filled to the brim with waste, about the same size as the bags he had brought in.

"Moon Haewon."
Haewon went into the bathroom and took out his toothbrush and razor, putting them into the trash bag. After tying the top of the bag, Hyun Woojin approached him.
"Haewon."

"Just get the hell out."
"Talk to me."
"Just go away. Damn it."

As Haewon stood up holding the trash bag, Hyun Woojin grabbed his arm. Haewon swung his arm roughly to shake him off.
"Why do I have to do this for you?"
Hyun Woojin asked. It was a ridiculous question. Haewon wanted to slap him with the trash bag in his hand. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to suppress the lump rising in his throat.

"I clearly said I didn’t want to."
He had pushed him away because he didn’t want to get emotionally entangled with someone like him, someone who had been with Taeshin, whom he had had feelings for. Hyun Woojin was dragging him down to the same filth. This was the lowest. He didn’t want to be stuck in the muck anymore, struggling, unable to crawl out. He had to escape when he had the chance.
He didn’t want to like him. If he liked him knowing what kind of human he was, he would become less than human. But still, he liked him. He still didn’t want to believe it. Haewon still liked Hyun Woojin as much as he had ever wanted.

"Why did you drag me into this when I clearly said I didn’t want to? Did you think you could just play with me like Taeshin and then discard me whenever you felt like it? Why make me like this? Why make me know all of this? Why make me go to that house by lying about being on duty?"
Haewon shuddered. His intense hatred for him poured out through his eyes and lips. The true thoughts that if he hadn’t known, he would have continued to meet him as an ignorant fool, came out in a rush.
If I didn’t know anything, I would have kept meeting him. If I didn’t know, I would have kept liking him. The resentment was not about why he did those things but about why he made Haewon know, why he ruined it so that Haewon could no longer like him, love him.

He looked at Haewon with a stiff voice, but he didn’t press further. His face showed that he was in agony over the misunderstanding.
"I told you it wasn’t like that."
He wanted Haewon to believe him. Maybe it was because it was the version of him that Haewon had once liked, but he genuinely seemed to mean it. Hyun Woojin seemed to suffer deeply from being misunderstood.

"Was it sincere? Was it sincere with Taeshin too? Was it sincere with me? How am I supposed to believe a man who plays around with the younger sister of his deceased fiancée? Teach me how to believe you. I’m going crazy too."
No matter what he said or did, Haewon, determined and firm, would never believe him. He swept his hair back and stared at Haewon.
"We’re not what you think."

"Ha."
The absurdity of it made a hollow laugh escape.
He sighed and took out his phone from his jacket. He made a call and snatched the trash bag from Haewon’s hand, setting it down. He grabbed Haewon’s arm with strong force, stopping him from pulling away. Haewon tried to shake him off, but Hyun Woojin’s grip only tightened.

"I need to see something. Yeah, come over here. Right now. Come right now."
He barked into the phone and hung up. He put the phone back in his jacket pocket and turned to Haewon.
"You’re coming with me."

Haewon was dragged along against his will. The car, speeding with rough acceleration, stopped in front of the hotel where Kim Jaemin had stayed. It was the same hotel where Haewon had first met him.
Haewon glared at him, but Hyun Woojin gave no reply. When Haewon refused to get out of the car, he opened the passenger door and dragged Haewon out with force. Haewon realized, as he was pulled away, that Hyun Woojin had never used force on him until now. He dragged Haewon by the collar, looking as though he was about to throw punches, and people glanced at them as they passed by.
They arrived at the lounge where Haewon had first met him. As he glanced around, Hyun Woojin tugged Haewon in an unwanted direction by his collar. Haewon staggered, trying not to fall, awkwardly following him.

Kim Soyoung was sitting in the corner of the lounge. Hyun Woojin dragged Haewon to the opposite chair and forced him down.
Hyun Woojin's anger was evident from Kim Soyoung's expression. Her terrified eyes trembled. He shook his disheveled jacket, straightened his tie, and sat down, calming his breath. Haewon glared at him as he sat next to him. His chest tightened. The waiter, who had come to take their order, glanced nervously at Hyun Woojin when their eyes met and silently turned away.
Hyun Woojin's eyes were fierce and menacing, as if ready to crush something in an instant. But beneath the surface, there was a hidden malice waiting to strike.

"Soyoung."
His voice was cold enough to freeze the air. He called out Kim Soyoung's name.
"...Yes."

As if she knew what was going on, Kim Soyoung clenched her hands tightly and hunched her shoulders, bowing her head.
"You know my junior, right?"
She nodded, glancing at Haewon.

"This guy knows I was engaged to Hayeong. But he saw me and you at the hotel, and now I’m being misunderstood like this. Why should I have to deal with this dirty misunderstanding?"
"...I'm sorry."
"Soyoung, you explain."

She stammered, her lips trembling as she raised a delicate finger to cover her mouth, but her hand was shaking uncontrollably.
"I... I blackmailed him. I told him if he didn't meet me, if he didn't stay with me that day, I'd kill myself, take some pills. I blackmailed him because I liked him... hic..."
"Keep talking in detail."

"That day, he left me alone in the hotel room and sent our parents to talk to me. I didn’t listen, so... He did that because he couldn't persuade me."
Kim Soyoung weakly shook her head, recalling the shameful memory. Her childish mind wanted something, so she threatened him, calling him to the hotel and dressed like a mature woman, acting like she was his, intoxicated by the fantasy of being his woman.
Hyun Woojin had presented Seok Hwa and CEO Kim Jeong-geun to her, making her lose her reason. Haewon imagined what Kim Soyoung must have felt when her parents barged in, thinking Hyun Woojin was coming. His face contorted with discomfort at the thought. It was cruel, but a painful awakening of reality for Kim Soyoung, with no comfort or explanations, only to face her parents in the harshest way.

"Mom and Dad were so mad at me that day. They think I’ve come to my senses now. I know I’ve done something horrible to my sister, but... what can I do? I like someone, what should I do?"
Kim Soyoung had no clear memory of what they talked about, but it seemed like when she crossed her arms, Hyun Woojin had undone them, or when she came closer, he had scolded her. Haewon thought she was a woman with no pride. If it were him, he would have gotten up and left.
Hyun Woojin’s eyes twisted in disgust as he watched Kim Soyoung’s sobs. It was evident there was nothing more to see, and he stood up from his seat.

Hyun Woojin grabbed Haewon’s wrist, lifting him from his seat with force. Haewon was once again dragged outside. This time, he didn’t resist, walking without bracing himself. As they walked in silence, Hyun Woojin let go of Haewon’s wrist. Though Haewon’s wrist was red, he didn’t scold him.
He took the key handed by the parking attendant and got into the driver’s seat, casting a glance at Haewon, who stood still.
“Get in the car.”

“...”
“Hurry up. You’ve got things to say, don’t you?”
Haewon got into the car. Unable to contain his rising anger, Hyun Woojin muttered curses even though the car in front had done nothing. Haewon was silent, but Hyun Woojin opened his mouth as if in disbelief.

“Why should I have to expose all of this to you? To embarrass that child like that?”
That didn’t explain anything, and it was hard to understand him with just that.
“You know I like you, so why do you meet those people so often? Are they your dogs? Do you run to them when they call?”

“...”
Hyun Woojin glanced back at Haewon. Slowly, he turned the car and stopped in the middle of the road. Rage flared in his eyes, a deep anger Haewon had never seen before. The blue flames in his gaze seemed to burn Haewon, and his spine stiffened with an instinctive fear, cold sweat forming on his skin.
Hyun Woojin stared at him with such intensity that Haewon couldn’t look away. The screeching horn from the car behind them did nothing to break his gaze. Haewon met his stare.

“Are they your dogs?”
“Moon Haewon.”
“If they’re not dogs, then what are they? You’re trying to sell yourself and take over the HanKyung Group, right?”

“...”
Hyun Woojin barely suppressed a rising frustration and, with the sound of the horn blaring, pressed the accelerator. The car slowly moved forward. In a subdued voice, he spoke again.
“This has nothing to do with you.”

“If it has nothing to do with me, why did you bring me here?”
“Because I’m ending things with you.”
“...”

“Do you know why I liked you?”
By now, his face had returned to calm, and the furious flames Haewon had seen earlier seemed to have disappeared.
“You didn’t look at me with disgust. You didn’t force yourself into medical school just to please me. You didn’t get drunk and go on a rampage when you thought I didn’t like you. You didn’t say you’d take pills and die if I didn’t meet you.”

“...”
“That’s why I felt comfortable with you. Your side... it was comfortable.”
His lips, which had only lied before, now spoke the truth.

In silence, Hyun Woojin kept his gaze forward, and Haewon stared out at the bustling street beyond the car window. The car stopped in front of the officetel. He hadn’t said to get out, but an uncomfortable silence made it feel as though he should. The car idled uselessly.
Hyun Woojin kept his eyes ahead, while the street was filled with busy people. The movements of those passing by felt like watching a TV screen, detached from reality.
Inside the car, only Haewon’s breath and the idling engine could be heard. In the glass-sealed world of the car, it felt as though only he and Hyun Woojin existed in that moment.

“Get out.”
Hyun Woojin spoke to Haewon, who was still sitting inside. Haewon got out of the car. The moment the door closed, Hyun Woojin’s gray car disappeared, kicking up rough dust.