It's All About Her

Iris' POV

Smoke didn't come last night. Thank God. It doesn't make it any better as I was paranoid the whole night. I'm sure he's off killing someone or something.

He should just end me and get it over with. I'm not a toy he can decide to play it. Making me change my life because of him.

I stare at the knife I'm using to cut chicken

Or do I just do it myself? It's not worth living anymore when your life isn't even yours.

I put the blade against my throat.

Can I do this?

I close my eyes. I take it closer

No! I can't. I'm scared. I take it away.

I hear clapping in the room. Oh great he's back.

"I knew you couldn't do it. Plus slitting your throat isn't very effective. Depends on how deep you cut, you might not die"

Is he seriously lecturing me about how to kill myself.

I want to slit his throat now. I don't say anything

"You know you don't talk much. What's up with that?".

Oh sure like I'd make little talk with my abductor. I say in my head but I don't say anything aloud.

"Okay fineee, I'll shut up. What're you making?" He comes over and looks over my shoulder.

"Ouuuu chicken curry, I can't wait to dig it", he says excitedly like I'm planning to give him any. Bastard.

Food is finally ready and I serve myself .

"Hey Where's mine?", he asks looking around. I just ignore.

"Ohhh that's how you want to play", he said before coming up to me and lifting me up my seat. Then he sat down on that same chair and put me on his lap.

"What are you doing? Let me go", I say struggling to get out but his hold is too tight.

"Hmmm this is nice, and the food smells heavenly btw". Jerk. "May I have a bite".

"You know what, take it all. It's not like anything in my life now is mine", I say giving up. I'm not struggling anymore. What's the point. I feel his grip loosen.

Good. I get up, go to my room amd slam the door shut. I'm sick of this, all of this.

Smoke's POV

Wow, her words hit me hard.

I never thought about if she's happy or not. I just made her miserable

But I can't help it. I can't stay away from her.

I don't understand it myself but I need her. Not want, need. Is it for sex?

I've had with countless women but I don't think that's it. Just looking at her calms me.

Is it because she's playing hard to get? And when I'm done sleeping with her I'd feel like I won?

Hmmm I think that's it maybe. It's worth a shot. Tonight then, we'll test it

I'm lost in though as I packed up her lunch. I'm suddenly not hungry anymore

Night comes

She still hasn't come out of her room. And I want to give her space

God this is so hard

"Princess?", I knock. "Can I come in?". This is weird, when did I become so polite.

No response

"I'm coming in okay?", and I do. And there she is doodling in her journal.

"Hey, I'm sorry about all of this"

"If you're really sorry you'd get out of my life", ouch that stings but understandable

"I know, I just can't. I tried but I can't".

"You can, you just won't. I have a life and you just ruined everything". She's right I did.

"Okay, I'll leave and try to stay away this time".

"Sure you would. I don't believe you".

"But first, one hug?" I ask hoping she'd agree

"And you'll leave me be?"

"I promise to try my best", that's the best I can do.

"Okay", she gets up and walk towards me. My heart is beating fast in anticipation.

It's just a fucking hug, why am I acting like a school girl.

She wraps her arms around me hesitantly. I'd take it. And I wrapped mine around her.

She smells so nice, her body is so warm. Can I really stay away her? It was a short hug leaving me wanting more.

"Well I guess this is goodbye princess"

"Yeah I guess it is". And with that I leave