Los Angeles Legendary Sleuth

It was nine o'clock at night.

The Lime Stand-Up Comedy Bar.

This bar was predominantly focused on stand-up comedy shows.

Perhaps due to Americans' fondness for self-deprecation, stand-up comedy was enormously popular in the United States, even to the extent of influencing presidential elections.

Many Americans didn't care about politics, especially the younger ones who hardly knew the Great Commander candidates; after all, who would be interested in a couple of old geezers?

Many young people got their election information through stand-up shows, which they found more relatable and grounded, though of course this also influenced their political leanings.

At this moment, the audience filled the place, drinking and listening to stand-up comedy.

Unlike other noisy, chaotic bars, here laughter and the comedian's voice were the only sounds.

Right then, a woman in a blue long dress walked onto the stage, "Ladies and gentlemen, I am excited to introduce a stand-up comedian I really like, he is a comedy genius in my eyes, Darcy Coffert."

"Darcy!"

Cheers and applause erupted from below the stage.

"Thank you, thank you, my friends," the white man Darcy took the stage with a microphone in hand, "I'm sorry I'm late today.

This afternoon, my mom and my wife had a huge fight, and I have no idea why?

I went to break it up.

Instead, they both beat me up.

Why?" Darcy made an innocent face.

"Haha..." A burst of laughter followed.

"Seriously, it's tough being a man these days, it's really tough, why do I say that? Because nobody cares about men, nobody gives a damn about men.

You see a homeless man walking a stray dog.

You would say 'Oh my god, what a poor little dog, we need to get some food for the puppy.'

'And what about the man?'

'Oh, I don't give a damn.'

Another wave of laughter came from the audience.

"Why are men having such a tough time now?

Because women are tough to deal with, the only thing my mom and wife have in common is watching 'Desperate Housewives.'

They watch reruns over and over, tirelessly.

Those ladies each live in mansions, none of them work, all of them cheat, I think the show should be renamed 'Shameless Bitches.'

Every episode, they'd hook up with the pool cleaner or the gardener who came to their house, and every job is well done.

Know why?

Because each one of them doesn't have a full-time job.

Fuck, if I had eight hours a day to hone my 'little brother.'

I'd be pretty awesome too!"

"Haha..." This prompted another round of loud laughter.

"I'm a bit thirsty, not because I'm doing stand-up, but because I've been breaking up fights earlier."

"Haha..."

Amid the laughter, Darcy walked to the side of the stage and picked up a bottle of mineral water from a small round table and twisted open the cap.

A man in the front row called out, "Hey, Darcy, you shouldn't drink that."

"Why? Do you want some too? Dream on."

The man below said, "Haven't you seen the news? That brand of mineral water has been poisoned."

A female guest added, "That's right, Wisen brand mineral water, I saw it on the news too."

Darcy chuckled, "Wow, that actually eases my mind. If the news is reliable, what are you doing here?"

A black man from the audience added, "It's true, the police also held a press conference."

"Wow, that's terrifying," Darcy glanced at the bottle of water, his expression turning to one of relief.

Just when everyone thought he was going to put down the water bottle, Darcy tilted his head back and took a big gulp, "Gulp, gulp, gulp..."

The audience's eyes widened in shock.

Then, the water bottle fell from Darcy's hand, his body convulsed, and he unexpectedly fell to the floor, the water from the bottle spilling all over.

"Ah..." A scream of horror rose from the audience.

"Darcy!"

"He's been poisoned."

"I told you, that brand of mineral water is toxic."

"Quick, call an ambulance!" Staff also rushed onto the stage.

Just as everyone was preparing to administer emergency aid, Darcy suddenly stood up, "Haha, you got pranked, I studied acting.

You don't really think I'm so lucky to just happen to drink poisoned water, do you, haha..."

"You jerk!"

"Darcy, you scared me to death."

"I really thought you were dead!"

"It looked so real."

A commotion ensued both on and off the stage, but there was no denying, the stunt had enhanced the stage effect.

Just as the guests sat down again, ready to continue with the stand-up, Darcy's expression twisted, his right hand clutching his neck, his body shaking as if he was having difficulty breathing.

But this time, no one believed him.

"Wow, it looks just like the real thing."

"Here we go again."

"Your acting is amazing."

"Hey, you can't fool me twice."

...

The audience booed.

"Bang!" Darcy fell straight to the ground.

"Enough, Darcy!"

"That's enough, it's not funny anymore."

"This guy might actually be poisoned."

Suddenly, people started to realize something was wrong, and several staff members ran onto the stage.

The female host checked his nose, "Oh God, he's not breathing."

"This isn't a joke, he's really been poisoned!"

"He's dead!"

...

An hour later, Captain Clint Chen of the Robbery and Murder Department arrived at the scene with his team.