Love Letter From The Future

“Discomfort,” I suppose I should call it.

The gaze that was directed at me seemed unable to comprehend why such a question was posed.

Sometimes, a fleeting glance can convey more than a hundred words. The emotions reflected in the man’s eyes implied a singular truth.

Impossible.

That was only natural. At this point, I wouldn’t even be able to mimic one-tenth of the man’s fighting skills.

Yes, at this point, I wouldn’t.

“Even for a moment… I just need to buy enough time to protect the two of them.”

The man’s golden pupils grew profoundly deep.

Whirlpools of thoughts glimmered and disappeared like reflections. Silence, silence, and silence.

He needed a little more time before he opened his mouth. His tone was calmer than before.

“You’re mistaken, it seems. That body is not yours. It’s merely a form conjured by my mental manifestation within the ‘boundary.’ Do you think you’ll even be able to maneuver a body properly when you return?”

It was a very realistic retort.

My physical form had already reached its limits long ago. It was just a substitute for my broken body, a physical representation optimized to fit the special conditions of the ‘boundary,’ created by the man’s mental image.

What if I were to return?

I had only just entered the ‘boundary.’ There was no way I could possess a mental form as solid as the man’s.

Thus, his question could also mean another thing.

“Worry about your own life.”

In fact, it was a miracle that the situation had continued until now.

I had intentionally overexerted my body to allow the man to utilize his full powers. Only then would it be easier for his mental image to replace my physical form. I hadn’t even hesitated to take drugs at times.

This was a fact that the man also acknowledged.

“That’s enough. We’ve both done what we could.”

“Then what should I do now?”

Once more, silence.

It was as if the man had forgotten how to reply immediately, keeping his mouth tightly shut. The gaze that scanned me still struggled to reveal its inner thoughts.

So, as always, I had no choice but to appeal alone.

“Should I just wake up like this and be grateful that I saved my life? Waiting for Senior Elsi and the Great Witch to somehow help!”

“Young one…”

“Senior Elsi said it was scary.”

I added, gasping for breath.

About the scenery that the man had not seen, about the people I had to meet.

“It wasn’t just Senior Elsi… everyone must have felt that way. It’s such a heavy burden. To suddenly be told to save the world, does that even make sense? Seria, Celin, they must have felt the same way!”

“You were going to have to bear that burden eventually anyway.”

“No, that’s too early.”

An assertion.

In response to my unwavering voice, the man’s pupils deepened further.

Scenes flashed before my eyes.

Senior Elsi, crying as she embraced me.

My childhood friend, trapped in a room without a single ray of light, cursing herself.

Even my lovely junior, who had lost her mind upon facing cruel truths.

It was a tableau created by a world on the brink of chaos. Or perhaps, by me.

Before long, hot breaths escaped through clenched teeth.

“The burden given to me was so heavy that I couldn’t even look properly beside me… but it’s different now.”

With that, I clenched my fist as if making a promise alone.

“……I have to be there for them.”

“Sacrifice is inevitable to save the world.”

A resolution, and a counter-assertion against it.

The man’s tone appeared as firm and unwavering as my resolve. He recited his lessons, scarred and emotionless.

Just as he always had.

“It is impossible to lose nothing… You say the burden given to you was too heavy? Look, after running so breathlessly, see what you’ve managed to protect and save.”

As he gestured to the sky, the view above shifted once more.

Countless memories.

A maiden who had collapsed, spilling her innards.

Trees made of flesh covering the vast plains.

A massive mountain range gasping for air, along with a tidal wave of flesh thundering over the snowy fields and a traitor with a fox’s tail.

There were many more scenes, splintered like pieces of a shattered mirror, cutting through the sky. Some of them could barely even be seen.

“……’Humanity.’”

A brief phrase weighed heavily on my chest.

While the tone of the man’s voice was calm, his gaze was piercingly vibrant as if nothing could be more important.

“To achieve a greater cause, you must be willing to give up something. Does the world look so easy as to allow for a desire to save it without losing anything? How many lives are slipping away at your hands already?”

It was an unarguable claim.

I felt a surge of emotions and almost spoke up but closed my mouth instead. ‘Lives slipping away at my hands?’ Yes, this too was a sacrifice.

Even if I made a wrong choice, they had their own circumstances and logic. It would have been nice if there were options to save them too.

If this was also a sacrifice, then so be it.

I was aware that the desire to not lose anything was akin to a child’s tantrum.

So I said.

“……I can do it.”

The emotions in my whisper were not anger. More like a reaffirmation of my own promise.

My heated voice spilled out again.

“I just need to sacrifice more… just as I have until now!”

“I’ll say it again, no matter how much you sacrifice alone, there’s a limit to it….”

“……I have to make it happen.”

As I locked eyes with the man, his stance suddenly froze.

The golden pupils, now laced with blood, reflected upon his retina. There was no need to ponder whose they were.

“It’s none other than me.”

His tone was firm yet weary. It was drenched with the moisture of emotions that had been picked at in places.

“I want to save Senior Elsi. No, I want to save Celin, Seria… everyone has suffered far too much.”

It was no longer a debate or persuasion.

My words had devolved into a simple plea, leaving the man unable to speak for some time. He merely pressed his lips together in cycles.

In the end, I trailed off.

“It won’t be enough with just those two… I have to, I have to do it. Somehow…!”

“……Young one.”

It was a sigh-laden remark.

The man, who had been perched on the rock, slowly stood up. His gaze settled heavily on me, dry as if it had been scorched by the summer sun.

He sheathed his sword at his waist and took a step forward.

“I don’t like you. Until now, I didn’t understand why… I even felt a bit envious of you, for still having much left to protect.”

And then step by step.

The man’s gait was leisurely yet filled with stillness. The sound of his feet striking the ground formed a distinct rhythm.

Before long, the distance between the man and me was mere feet.

His pupils, visible right before my eyes, remained emotionless. I wondered if the rocks worn smooth by the rain and wind for ages looked anything like that.

“But now I understand. I know why you were so hard to like…”

A cold flame ignited.

It was in the man’s golden eyes. A strong presence transformed them into the only source of light.

“You are me.”

The emotions contained within that single sentence were indescribably deep, so concentrated that I did not dare to express them lightly. I only took a step back, shivering.

The man spoke once more.

“You resemble me.”

As he stepped forward again, my body instinctively retreated further.

A chilling sensation rushed through my peripheral nerves. Just as strongly, the man’s feelings were as undefined as their origins and conclusions.

“That’s why I didn’t like you… Young one.”

It was then.

The man’s body came to an abrupt halt, and the menacing aura that had surrounded me dissipated. It was a sign that the depth of the emotional weight, which had been so dense just moments ago, was rapidly diminishing.

That was the end.

The man sighed silently, then turned away again. It signified that he had no more business here.

But I finally heard the one sentence I had longed for.

“……Go.”

There was no need to ask where. After all, it had happened just a while ago.

A sense of unease tinged the direction the man had turned his back to. When I looked back, I saw the shimmering space in the distance.

It was a sudden shift, unexpectedly abrupt. As I hesitated, unable to understand, the man spoke in his usual dry tone.

“You were probably going to leave anyway… I’m not fond of wasting energy on futile endeavors.”

Step by step.

With that, the man began walking again, heading back toward the rock where he had initially been sitting.

I found myself hesitating for a moment. I was unsure of how to respond.

Should I say thank you? Or should I retort with, “Were you only just now realizing that?”

Neither was the answer.

Outside, a deadly battle continued, and I was in a situation that required me to run desperately.

Just as I was about to turn my back.

“But remember this.”

That one phrase drew my gaze back behind me. There sat the man, once again on the rock.

His expression was as placid as his voice.

“Every choice carries a price… The future has already twisted. Now even I cannot gauge it.”

It was a warning I had always heard.

I dismissed the ominous forewarning and turned my eyes away. And forward, forward.

The echoes of the man’s voice trailed behind, scattering into the air.

“Is this also fate…?”

The once-white light embraced me, tearing into countless colors. Each particle lodged itself in my heart, becoming fragments of memories and emotions.

Memory, memory, memory.

At the end of it all, the one sensation I first felt was this.

It hurts.

*

Blood and water splattered, and in the battlefield where the two women rolled on the ground.

The fingers of the man, who had been closing his eyes, twitched.

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