Marvel: Rebirth Roulette

My first conscious thought in this new life was, Oh, great. I'm dead again.

My second thought was, Wait. I have legs.

This was an upgrade.

The last time I reincarnated, I spawned as a gelatinous blob on a gas giant. I spent three months trying to evolve appendages before an intergalactic whale accidentally inhaled me. Tragic. But here I was again, back in the void between lives, waiting for my next respawn.

A bright blue holographic woman appeared before me, arms crossed, expression somewhere between condescending and vaguely entertained. VIX, my AI companion, always had that look—like a customer service rep who secretly hated their job but stayed for the drama.

"Well, congratulations, Cody," she said dryly. "You died. Again."

"Yeah, yeah. What killed me this time?"

"A hydrogen-based leviathan the size of a small moon." She smirked. "It burped."

I sighed. "Alright, lesson learned: Don't be a blob. What are my options?"

VIX snapped her fingers, and a sleek menu appeared in midair. A deep robotic voice echoed:

WELCOME TO REINCARNATION SELECT! CHOOSE ONE ABILITY TO CARRY OVER!

I scrolled through the options and winced. "Yikes. No god-tier powers this time?"

VIX shrugged. "The cosmic RNG wheel spins as it pleases."

The choices sucked. No reality warping. No instant laser eyes. But two stood out:

Shapeshifting (Mutant Gene Unlocked!)

2. Probability Manipulation (Unstable)

I grinned. "Oh yeah, we're going full X-Men Bullshit Mode."

VIX rolled her eyes. "You're still going to be an idiot."

I tapped 'Confirm,' and the void around me dissolved.

The First Five Minutes of My New Life Were a Disaster

I woke up in an alley, cold metal beneath me, the air thick with the smell of burnt fuel and alien street food. Neon signs flickered above. In the distance, I heard shouting, blaster fire, and what sounded suspiciously like a Skrull vendor screaming, "You can't just lick the merchandise!"

"Oh hell," I groaned, sitting up. My hands were human—a great start—but my body ached like I'd been in a bar fight with a rhino. Which, knowing my luck, might've been true.

VIX's voice chimed in my head. "Welcome to Knowhere, a lawless space hub inside a giant Celestial skull. Home to criminals, bounty hunters, and questionable food safety practices."

My stomach growled. "You had me at 'questionable food.'"

Before I could find something to eat, a deep robotic voice thundered, "THERE HE IS! GET HIM!"

A squad of heavily armed aliens rounded the corner, weapons aimed at my head. Their leader, a particularly ugly Sakaaran with a cybernetic eye, pointed at me. "That's the mutant freak! A hundred thousand credits to the first one who bags him!"

My brain short-circuited. "Wait, I have a bounty?! I literally just got here!"

VIX projected herself next to me, feigning shock. "Oh no. Who could have foreseen this?"

"VIX—"

"By the way," she added. "Your probability power just activated."

Before I could process that, the bounty hunter's blaster exploded in his hand. The force knocked the entire squad off their feet. One unlucky guy tripped and accidentally triggered a nearby fuel canister, which promptly detonated.

I stared at the carnage. Then at my hands. Then back at the carnage.

"…Holy shit, I'm Domino."

VIX sighed. "No, because Domino's power actually works consistently."

More bounty hunters were closing in. I did the only thing I was good at—running like hell.

How to Escape Certain Death (By Being an Idiot)

I sprinted through the chaotic streets of Knowhere, dodging blaster fire and yelling things like, "I'M JUST A TOURIST!" and "PLEASE DON'T SHOOT, I'M ALLERGIC TO PAIN."

VIX kept up as a floating hologram. "Fun fact: Your mutant power could help you escape."

I gasped for breath. "Yeah? Any suggestions?"

"Well, you can shapeshift."

"Into what, VIX?!"

She smirked. "Something really inconvenient."

Before I could protest, my mutant genes activated on pure instinct. My body twisted, bones shifting, skin warping—

—and suddenly, I was a lamp.

A perfectly normal, completely useless lamp.

The bounty hunters skidded to a stop, looking around.

"Where'd he go?" one grunted.

I sat completely still.

"…You see a glowing blue lady?" another asked.

VIX, who had wisely turned invisible, suppressed a snort.

"Nah," the leader muttered. "Damn mutants. Keep looking."

As they left, I shifted back to human form, collapsing onto the ground, gasping. "VIX—"

"Yes?"

"WHY DID YOU TURN ME INTO A LAMP?!"

She shrugged. "Technically, you turned yourself into a lamp. I just suggested something inconvenient."

I groaned. "I hate you."

"No, you don't."

Before I could argue, another voice interrupted.

"I'll give you five seconds to explain why I shouldn't break every bone in your body."

I turned.

Standing there, arms crossed, was Lyra Voss—a six-foot-tall Kree warrior with piercing yellow eyes, blue skin, and an expression that screamed 'Try me, I dare you.'

I blinked.

Then, with all the confidence of a man who absolutely shouldn't be confident, I said:

"Hey there, gorgeous. Wanna get dinner?"

Lyra's eyes narrowed. Her fist clenched.

VIX smirked. "Oh, this is gonna be good."

Lyra's hand hovered over her blaster. "You're either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid."

"Or incredibly charming?" I offered.

Lyra's expression didn't change, but her grip on the blaster loosened ever so slightly. "Flattery won't save you, shapeshifter. You're a fugitive. The Kree don't take kindly to rogue mutants."