MTLNOVEL Chapter 3: Master of Flirtation
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By the time I reached the venue, the crowd had mostly dispersed, leaving a few diehard fans still lingering for autographs. Mt. Lady was perched on a makeshift stage, radiating confidence and probably checking her reflection in one of the nearby car windows. I sidled up to the remaining group, carefully positioning myself just outside the crush of fanboys.
"Alright, System," I whispered. "Any bright ideas?"
[ANALYSIS COMPLETE: TARGET IS PARTIAL TO FLATTERY. ALSO, DON'T MENTION HER HEIGHT—SHE HEARS THAT 80 TIMES A DAY.]
Noted. I took a deep breath, then stepped forward, ignoring the glares from some of the fans who were clearly trying to gatekeep their idol.
"Excuse me, Mt. Lady?" I called out, projecting just enough confidence to stand out without coming off as obnoxious. "Can I steal a moment of your time?"
She turned, her eyes narrowing slightly as she assessed me. For a second, I thought I had blown it, but then her expression softened into something resembling mild curiosity then turned into a full scowl.
Abort! Abort! Abort! Before I could even bolt, Mt. Lady grabbed me by the ear like an irate mom about to lecture her toddler. I flailed uselessly, trying to peel her iron grip off my ear.
"You dare to attack a villain?" Her voice was sharp enough to cut through my flimsy excuses before I could even utter them. Every word was punctuated with the same energy as a judge banging their gavel.
"Attack is a strong word," I said, wincing. "I prefer 'strategic self-expression.'"
"Strategic self-expression?" she scoffed, dragging me toward the pro-hero police van parked nearby. "Kid, you're underage and unlicensed! You know what this means, right?"
"Detention?" I tried, still flailing as we passed stunned civilians who had their phones out. I swear one guy was live-streaming. Fantastic. My embarrassing public shaming was going to hit the front page of TikTok.
"No," Mt. Lady snapped. "It means I'm taking you to the authorities so they can sort this out before you get yourself killed doing something even stupider."
"Stupider than that villain's outfit? Doubt it." The words tumbled out before I could stop them. Her glare in response nearly incinerated me on the spot.
"Keep talking, and I'll let Kamui Woods make you a tree ornament," she growled, hauling me closer to the van.
[NEW QUEST: ESCAPE THE CLUTCHES OF JUSTICE. REWARD: +50 XP. FAILURE: COMMUNITY SERVICE.]
"Hey, System," I hissed under my breath. "What's the play here? Do I beg for mercy or go full 'chaotic dumbass' mode?"
[ADVICE: STOP TALKING. YOU'RE ONLY MAKING THIS WORSE.]
"Helpful as always," I muttered.
Mt. Lady's grip on my ear was as firm as her disdain. I was practically being dragged like a rebellious toddler at the grocery store, and every bystander we passed was eating it up like it was free entertainment.
"Alright, alright! I get it! I screwed up!" I yelped, trying to keep pace with her determined march. "But at least let me apologize properly, Yu Takeyama. Or should I say, Yu Take Ya and Ma to a nice dinner?"
She stopped dead. For a split second, I thought I had broken through her armor—or maybe I just short-circuited her brain. But then she turned to me, her lips curling into the kind of smile that spelled doom.
"Kid," she said, voice low enough to send a chill down my spine. "Do you want to dig that grave any deeper? Or are you planning to jump in voluntarily?"
"Depends," I shot back, grinning despite the imminent threat to my life. "Does the grave come with catering?"
Her expression didn't change, but I caught the faintest twitch of her eyebrow. Progress? Maybe.
"Look," she continued, yanking me forward again. "You're underage. You're unlicensed. And you're clearly suicidal. What were you thinking running into a fight like that?"
"I was thinking, 'Hey, free XP.'" Her confusion lasted a whole two seconds before it morphed into irritation.
"XP? What are you, a gamer?"
"Kind of. Life's a game; I'm just trying to level up." I shrugged. "And if that means throwing a punch at a guy built like a freight train, so be it."
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," she said flatly.
"Give it time. I'm just getting started." I tilted my head, aiming for that perfect blend of smug and endearing. "Besides, you can't deny it worked. He's in custody, and I walked away with all my limbs intact. That's a win-win, right?"
"Except for the part where you almost died," she snapped, clearly unimpressed.
"But I didn't," I countered. "And if you think about it, that's kind of heroic. Maybe even… commendable?"
Her laugh was sharp, almost cutting. "Kid, the only thing commendable about you is your ability to keep talking when you should really shut up."
"Ouch," I said, clutching my chest dramatically. "Right in the feels."
By this point, we reached the police van. A couple of officers were leaning against it, clearly more interested in their coffee than the scene unfolding in front of them. Mt. Lady shoved me toward them without ceremony.
"This one's all yours," she told the nearest officer, crossing her arms. "Caught him playing hero. Make sure he learns his lesson."
"Wait, hold on," I protested, raising my hands defensively. "You're not seriously turning me in, are you? I mean, come on, I'm practically a hero-in-training!"
The officer snorted. "A hero-in-training, huh? You got a license for that?"
"Not yet," I admitted. "But I've got enthusiasm, which is almost the same thing."
"Yeah, no," Mt. Lady said, cutting me off. "You're not talking your way out of this one."
"Are you sure?" I leaned closer, dropping my voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Because I'm pretty sure the world would forgive you if you let me go. I mean, look at this face."
Her glare could've melted steel. "Officer, do me a favor and make sure he doesn't end up on the news for something even dumber tomorrow."
"Hey, if I end up on the news, it'll be because I'm saving lives," I shot back. "Or, you know, because someone decided to tase me."
The officer rolled his eyes, gesturing for me to get in the van. "Alright, kid, let's go. You've had your fun."
"Fun?" I asked, climbing in with exaggerated flair. "This is all business, my friend. Hero work is serious stuff."
As the door slammed shut behind me, I caught a glimpse of Mt. Lady shaking her head, muttering something about "stupid kids" under her breath. The van started moving, and I leaned back against the cold metal, a grin still plastered on my face.
The System decided to chime in, as helpful as ever:
[NEW QUEST: ESCAPE THE POLICE VAN. REWARD: +50 XP + FREE TRIP TO JUVENILE HALL. FAILURE: MOM'S GOING TO BE PISSED.]
I groaned. "You just can't let me enjoy the moment, can you?"
[ENJOYING FAILURE? THAT'S A NEW LOW, EVEN FOR YOU.]
"Hey, it's not a failure if I learned something."
[AND WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU LEARN?]
"That Mt. Lady's sense of humor is severely underdeveloped."
[CONGRATULATIONS. YOU'RE A GENIUS.]
"Thanks, I try."
Well, the System was right. Mom got pissed—who could have seen that coming? After they hauled me to the station and called Inko, let's just say my ear got acquainted with yet another strong-willed woman. On the bright side, getting dragged around by two hot ladies in one day? A personal best. I call it a win.
The cops had to fill her in, of course. "Your son here decided to throw hands with a villain," one officer said, his tone of exasperation and disbelief.
"Is that so?" Inko didn't even look at me. Her eyes were locked on the officer like she was preparing the mother of all apologies. The officer, brave soul that he was, nodded and handed her the official report. I caught a glimpse of it. They described me as "reckless," "unlicensed," and—my favorite—"an unhelpful distraction." I could've framed that and hung it over my bed.
"Thank you for letting me know," she said, her voice calm but carrying that edge. The kind that screamed, You are so dead, Ryuu.
"Mom, wait, before you—ow, ow, ow!" I didn't even get to finish before she grabbed my ear and twisted it. Did it hurt? Yes. Did I deserve it? Probably. Was I still going to milk this for sympathy later? Absolutely.
"Do you have any idea how worried I was?" she hissed as she dragged me out of the station. "A villain, Ryuu? Do you even think before you act?"
"I was thinking I would be a hero," I mumbled, trying to keep up without tripping over my own feet. "Besides, I had it under control."
"Under control?" She stopped, her grip tightening. "They said Mt. Lady had to step in because you were in the way."
"Hey, I punched him! That's gotta count for something!"
"It counts as stupidity!" She let go of my ear but still glared at me like she was debating whether to ground me or just skip straight to murder. "What if you'd gotten hurt? Or worse?"
I sighed, rubbing my sore ear. "Look, I'm fine, okay? The Sy—" I stopped myself just in time. No way was I explaining that to her. "I mean, I knew what I was doing."
"Ryuu." She took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I know you want to prove yourself, but this isn't the way. You're not a pro hero. You don't have a quirk."
"Yeah, thanks for the reminder," I muttered, stuffing my hands into my pockets. "Like I don't already know that."
Her expression softened, but only slightly. "I'm serious, Ryuu. You're my son. I don't want to lose you."
I hated when she did that—used the mom guilt. It always worked. "Fine," I said, kicking at a loose pebble. "I'll be more careful next time."
"There won't be a next time," she snapped. "Not unless you want to be grounded until you're thirty."
"Thirty? Harsh." I managed a weak grin, trying to lighten the mood. "Can we at least make it twenty-five?"
She didn't laugh. Not even a smirk. Damn, tough crowd.
By the time we got home, I was already plotting how to make my escape if she actually tried grounding me. Maybe I could "Quickstep" out the window? Wouldn't be the dumbest idea I ever had.
"Go to your room," she said as soon as we stepped inside.
"What, no dinner?" I shot back, but one look from her shut me up. "Right. Room. Got it."
I trudged upstairs, slamming the door behind me for good measure. Not that it helped. The blue screen popped up as soon as I flopped onto my bed, as if it had been waiting for me.
[NEW QUEST: APPEASE MOM. REWARD: +10 XP. FAILURE: SHE REMAINS SAD.]
"Not now," I muttered, swiping the screen away. But it popped back up almost immediately.
[PRO TIP: MOMS RESPOND WELL TO CLEAN ROOMS AND SINCERE APOLOGIES. GIVE IT A TRY, SMARTASS.]
I groaned, burying my face in the pillow. "Why do you hate me?"
[HATE IS A STRONG WORD. LET'S GO WITH 'TOUGH LOVE.' NOW GET TO WORK.]
I glanced around my room, which, to be fair, looked like a tornado had passed through it. Clothes everywhere, empty snack wrappers, a pile of textbooks I hadn't touched since last semester. Yeah, okay. Maybe the System had a point.
With a sigh, I got up and started tidying. It wasn't fun, and it definitely wasn't heroic, but if it got Mom off my back, it was worth it.
As I was halfway through stuffing socks into a drawer, the door creaked open. "Ryuu?" Izuku poked his head in, looking as timid as ever.
"What?" I asked, not bothering to hide my irritation.
"I, um… I heard what happened. Are you okay?"
"Peachy," I said, tossing a random shoe onto the shelf. "Just another day in the life of your favorite stepbrother."
He hesitated, then stepped inside. "You know, you don't have to do stuff like that. Fighting villains, I mean. It's dangerous."
"No kidding." I turned to face him, leaning against the dresser. "But someone's gotta do it, right? And since you're too busy crying over All Might posters—"
"Ryuu!" He actually looked hurt, which, okay, maybe I deserved. I sighed.
"Look, I'm sorry, alright? I just… I don't like sitting around doing nothing. It's boring."
"It's better than getting hurt," he said quietly.
"Ugh, Mom said I should clean my room. Come and help," I said, tossing an old hoodie toward the closet.
Izuku nodded, stepping in hesitantly. Bless his gullible heart.
[LYING TO YOUR BROTHER TO DO YOUR CLEANING? LOW.]
Yeah, well, the System could judge me all it wanted. My room was a disaster zone, and I had no intention of tackling it alone.
Izuku started picking up random junk, stacking textbooks that hadn't been opened since last semester. He glanced at me. "You've got a lot of, um, energy drinks."
I shrugged, shoving a pile of clothes under the bed. "Hey, training takes fuel. Not all of us can survive on tears and All Might figurines."
He winced but didn't argue. I might roast him, but at least I kept him on his toes. Back when we first learned we were quirkless, Izuku went full waterworks, sobbing into Mom's apron about how he could never be a hero. Me? I saw it as a challenge. No quirks? Fine. I would just outwork everyone else.
So, I started training. Push-ups, pull-ups, sprints, you name it. And because I'm a motivational genius, I forced Izuku to join me. He puked halfway through day one, fainted by day two, and quit by day three. Mom caught on to our little "boot camp" and decided to supervise, probably worried I would turn her youngest into a puddle.
She stuck with it longer than Izuku did, though. Every morning, it was me and Mom jogging through the park while Izuku stayed behind to "study hero tactics," which I'm pretty sure was code for binge-watching hero interviews. He didn't have the stamina for the grind, but I did.
Izuku straightened up, holding a comic book I swiped from his stash years ago. "I was looking for this!" He clutched it like it was a lost relic.
"Yeah, well, finders keepers," I said, shoving another pile of junk into the closet. "If you didn't want it stolen, you should've hidden it better."
He sighed but didn't press the issue. That was Izuku for you—too nice to hold a grudge, even when I totally deserved it.
By the time we'd made a dent in the chaos, my door creaked open, and Mom poked her head in. "You two are actually cleaning? I'm impressed."
"Mom! This cleaning has nothing to do with my current situation. It is volunteer action that comes from my deepest love and respect for you!" I declared, dramatically sweeping a pair of socks into the corner as if I were presenting an offering to the gods.
Inko stood at the doorway, arms crossed, her eyebrow raised so high I thought it might leave her forehead entirely. "Oh, is that so? And here I thought it was because you were trying to make up for throwing yourself at a villain today."
I put a hand on my chest, gasping like she accused me of high treason. "You wound me, Mother. Do you not trust my altruistic spirit? My commitment to household hygiene?"
Izuku let out a small cough, clearly trying to suppress laughter. "I think you missed a spot under your bed, Ryuu."
"Shush, Waterworks," I shot back, narrowing my eyes at him. "Do not ruin my redemption arc."
Inko sighed and stepped fully into the room, scanning the battlefield of half-folded laundry and strategically shoved piles of junk. "At least you're doing something productive for once. But don't think this gets you off the hook for your stunt earlier. You're still grounded."
"Grounded?" I turned, a tragic, soap-opera-worthy expression plastered across my face. "But, Mother, I am a hero-in-training! You cannot clip my wings before they even have a chance to soar!"
"Hero-in-training?" She shot me a look so sharp it could cut steel. "You don't have a quirk, Ryuu. What you do have is a knack for finding trouble and dragging your poor brother into it."
"I didn't drag him into anything!" I protested, gesturing wildly at Izuku, who was currently trying to wedge a manga back into my bookshelf. "Look at him! He's fine! Besides, if anything, I'm making him tougher by example."
Izuku looked up, his face embarrassment and mild betrayal. "Tougher? Ryuu, you—"
"Shh," I interrupted, holding a finger to my lips. "Do not ruin this for me. I am on thin ice as it is."
"Thin ice?" Inko repeated, crossing her arms again. "Ryuu, you are drowning. And instead of asking for a life raft, you're trying to build a rocket out of duct tape and bad decisions."
"Which is a valid strategy," I countered. "Do you know how many geniuses were misunderstood in their time? I'm like... like the quirkless version of Einstein."
Izuku tilted his head, holding up a sock like it was a philosophical quandary. "Wasn't Einstein a scientist before quirks even existed?"
"Nuh-uh," I countered, shoving a hoodie under my bed without a second glance. "The dude cracked the universe with tech that makes remote controls look advanced. You think he just woke up one day and said, 'Yeah, let me invent the theory of relativity,' without some sort of cheat code? Nah, man, he probably ate a Brain Brain Fruit or had a secret genius quirk nobody caught onto."
"Brain Brain Fruit?" Izuku repeated, blinking in confusion. "That sounds like something out of One Piece."
"Exactly!" I jabbed a finger in his direction like he just solved a riddle.
Izuku sighed. "That's not how science works, Ryuu."
I threw a pair of socks into the laundry pile with a flourish. "Says the guy who reads fanfiction about All Might. Tell me, in your infinite nerd knowledge, when exactly did quirks suddenly pop out of nowhere, huh? 'Cause if you're about to say 'glowing baby,' I call bull. Well, it is humbling, but if Einstein was just a plain human, we Quirk society failed spectacularly. With all these abilities, we still cannot understand the universe better than him. We have a hero with the power of Black Hole, for Mighty's sake." I punctuated my statement by tossing another stray sock into the laundry basket with an exaggerated underhand throw. "Like, come on, Nezu's a talking rodent with an IQ off the charts, and even he probably looks at Einstein's work and goes, 'Well, damn.'"
Izuku glanced up from neatly folding a shirt he found under my bed. "Nezu's Quirk isn't just intelligence, though. It amplifies his cognition and decision-making. Einstein didn't have anything like that."
"Yeah, but imagine if he did," I shot back. "He would be out here building time machines and probably slapping quirks onto rocks just to see what happens. Meanwhile, half the pro-heroes are too busy posing for magazine covers to even read a book."
Mom cleared her throat from the doorway. "And what about you, Ryuu? When was the last time you picked up a book that wasn't full of hero rankings or, dare I ask, questionable manga?"
"Touché, Mom," I said, holding up a finger like she scored a point. "But in my defense, questionable manga builds character."
Izuku turned red, either from second-hand embarrassment or because he actually understood the reference. "Ryuu!"
"What? It does." I gestured broadly at the now slightly less chaotic mess that was my room. "And anyway, I'm clearly the most well-rounded member of this family. Intelligence, charisma, raw physicality—total package."
Mom raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. "Your idea of physicality is running away from Bakugo after you've annoyed him."
"That's called cardio," I replied smoothly. "Functional fitness. I'm like an endurance athlete, but for bullies."
Izuku sighed, clearly trying to steer the conversation into safer waters. "We could all stand to learn something from Einstein, though. His perseverance alone—"
"Waterworks, please," I interrupted. "I know you're about to go full fangirl on his 'resilience in the face of adversity,' but let's be real. That guy didn't have to deal with a world full of human flamethrowers and walking nukes." I threw my arms up. "If I tried to drop E=MC² in class, Bakugo would probably think it was a code for punching me in the face."
Izuku winced. "You shouldn't provoke him so much."
"That's my love language," I said, grinning. "Besides, the guy needs it. If he didn't have me around to roast him, he would probably explode from his own pent-up rage. I'm doing the world a favor, really."
Mom pinched the bridge of her nose. "And yet, somehow, the world doesn't seem very grateful."
"Not yet," I said, wagging a finger. "But mark my words, Mom. One day, people will look back and say, 'Wow, Ryuu Midoriya really changed the game.' And when they build a statue of me, make sure they get my good side, okay?"
"I'll make sure they add a caption: 'Here lies Ryuu Midoriya, legendary idiot,'" she deadpanned.
"Legendary genius idiot," I corrected, flopping onto my bed. "Don't sell me short."
Izuku shook his head, finally placing the last folded shirt on my desk. "You're impossible."
"Impossibly amazing," I said, grinning up at the ceiling. "Now, if you two will excuse me, I've got to mentally prepare for my next big move."
Mom arched an eyebrow. "And what move is that?"
"Winning over Mt. Lady, obviously," I replied, completely serious. "With my boosted Charisma, I'm basically unstoppable."
Izuku looked horrified. "You're not serious."
"As a heart attack," I said. "And don't worry, I'll let you be the best man at our wedding."
Mom sighed, walking out of the room. "You're grounded, Ryuu."
"Still worth it!" I called after her.