Mushoku Tensei: Sword, Magic Hats, and Romance!

Let's rewind—back to one minute earlier.

As soon as the bathwater was ready, Rudeus stripped down completely. But contrary to his expectations, Sylphiette hesitated at the edge of the room, fidgeting and refusing to meet his eyes.

"What's wrong? If you don't take off your clothes, you'll catch a cold. You're covered in mud—are you planning to keep wearing that?"

"Eh? Ah… um…"

Sylphiette stood stiffly with her back to him, facing the wall in silent reflection.

"Wait, don't tell me—you don't know how to undress by yourself? Jeez, what am I going to do with you?"

Still completely naked, Rudeus trotted over to her side.

"Here, raise your arms. I'll help you take it off."

"Eh—ehh?! I…"

"No buts! Hurry up or I'll call Allen in here!"

"Ah?! No! Please don't—!"

Rudeus tugged for a while, but Sylphiette clutched her clothes with all her might, refusing to let him undress her.

He pouted.

"Fine, if you won't take off your top, I'll start with your pants!"

And with that, he gave her waistband a solid yank.

Sylphiette screamed.

"AAAH!!!"

Rudeus clapped his hands over his ears and took a few steps back, about to complain—when he heard the sound of rapid footsteps pounding up the stairs.

From the rhythm alone, he could tell it wasn't Lilia, Paul, or Zenith—they all had very distinct footsteps. This was someone else.

Rudeus's eyes lit up.

He darted to the door, crouching down like a mischievous little gremlin, and turned to whisper excitedly to Sylphiette with a finger pressed to his lips.

"Looks like you've never bathed with a boy before, huh? Just watch—once I pull Allen's pants down, I bet you'll be totally fine joining us."

Heh… Allen-sama, this time, I'm gonna win!

The footsteps were right outside now.

Sylphiette turned to look, just as Rudeus grinned wide, two crooked arcs forming at the corners of his mouth.

"Sylph, watch carefully—"

BANG! The door flew open.

Perfect timing!

"THIS is how Allen does it—!!"

"..."

Allen stared at Rudeus.

Rudeus stared up at Allen.

Sylphiette cowered in the corner, facing the wall.

A suffocating silence fell between the three of them.

But the most shocked wasn't Allen.

It was Rudeus.

He looked up, mouth slightly agape, gaze frozen.

Why is it… up… like that? Don't tell me… does Allen actually like little boys? WAIT. Is it not Sylph he's into—but ME?!

Allen saw the horrified look forming in Rudeus's eyes and didn't even have time to care about how socially dead he felt.

He yanked up his pants and hoisted Rudeus off the floor like a sack of potatoes.

"Clothes! Get dressed!!"

Rudeus flailed in panic.

"Why are you making me wear clothes again, you perv?! Let me go, Allen bro!!"

Allen grit his teeth, dragged Rudeus close, and hissed through clenched teeth so only the two of them could hear:

"Sylphiette is a girl!!"

"Noooo, Allen, let me—wait. Huh? What? WHAT?!"

Rudeus turned stiffly toward Sylphiette, who was curled up in the corner with her hands over her ears.

And in that instant—it hit him.

Sylphiette. Not "Sylph." That's why her nickname is "Luffy"! That's why I always thought she looked way too pretty! I should've realized it—AAAHHHH!!!

She's a girl. I was NAKED in front of her!!

He shrieked.

"Clothes! I need clothes, NOW!!!"

"Then put them on already!"

"That one's covered in mud!!"

"You seriously care about that right now?!"

"Wait, hang on—gimme your pants! You already got seen, so let me wear yours!"

Allen: ??????

"You got seen too!!"

"Oh. Right, huh."

"Then what are you yelling about?!"

"Because—because you were all, like, charged up and everything! That was terrifying!!"

"That's because I was using battle aura!!"

"Liar! Paul uses aura and I've never seen him like that!"

"How do you know what Paul looks like?!"

At the top of the stairs, Lilia had just arrived.

She stood frozen at the hallway's end, having witnessed the entire scene unfold in complete silence.

Behind her, Paul stood with his face dark as thunderclouds, veins bulging on his clenched fist.

...

At lunch, Sylphiette stayed for the meal.

Allen and Rudeus sat at the table, each with a lump the size of an egg swelling on their foreheads. They stared at each other in silence.

It was absurd—two children with the mental age of men in their thirties being scolded by a 24-year-old, both of them silently mourning their adult dignity.

"Had your fun yet?" Paul growled. "You fight, fine. But why—why—did it turn into a discussion about whether I get... enthusiastic when using battle aura?! And calling me by name like we're equals?! Maybe I should be making you train every day!"

"Sorry, Paul-sama/Father," they chorused in unison.

"Call me Paul, dammit!"

"Sorry." Unison x2

Zenith watched with half-lidded eyes, clearly amused. She glanced over at Allen and Rudeus with a faint smile, as if finding their chaotic antics endearing.

Then she turned to Sylphiette.

"It must be tough, being friends with these two."

Sylphiette sat bolt upright.

"N-Not at all!! They're both really kind to me!"

Zenith chuckled softly and rested her cheek on one hand, turning to Paul.

"Alright, dear. Let's eat."

Paul glared at the two boys one last time before sighing.

"Fine. You can eat too. But no playing tomorrow. You're training with me."

"Yes, Paul-sama/Father." Unison x3

Allen and Rudeus sat down, exchanging glances and sighs like two prisoners resigned to their fate.

Allen reached for a piece of bread that was just out of Sylphiette's reach and passed it to her—then began a mental conversation with the system.

Hey, earlier you warned me Rudy's affection might hit zero. If it does, is there a punishment?

[No.]

Does it lower my score?

[No. The evaluation is points-based.]

Then what the hell was "proceed with caution" supposed to mean?!

[I just found it amusing. And hey, if you do end up with Rudeus, wouldn't that count as a very "involved" form of Isekai immersion? I fully support it. (๑¯∀¯๑)*]

...Screw you.

Meanwhile, Rudeus was sneaking glances at Sylphiette—and then at Allen.

So Allen figured out Sylph was a girl way before me, huh? Damn… he moved early. Wait—if Sylph is out of the running…

That means Roxy's still fair game for me!!

With that thought, both corners of Rudeus's mouth curled upward.

He grinned the unmistakable grin of a certain kind of pervert.