My Life Coaches are the Seven Deadly Sins

For a solid minute I just stared at the dolls. Then, I laid back down, pulling the blanket to cover my head. "I am having the weirdest dreams." I stated loudly as I closed my eyes, heart racing as I took long, deep breaths. I am just dreaming, I'll text Dillon in the morning. Yep. With that plan in mind, I tried to force himself back to sleep.

Before my heart could stop racing a mile a minute, I felt several weights settle over my blanket.

"So, yeah, not exactly the best way to greet someone, but Max we aren't in your dreams. We also need to talk. Come on." One of the male voices informed as I felt more tugging on my blanket.

I sat up, staring at the dolls surrounding me. Talk about a lucid dream… had I ever had one so… real before? I debated pinching myself… but I didn't exactly want confirmation. "Uhh, okay, if I'm not dreaming… how are you moving?" The horse appeared to be their leeder as it stepped forward.

"So, we" The horse, Pride, gestured to the other dolls. "Are the seven deadly sins, long story very short, we need merit, we get merit by helping you. So, any questions?"

I just stared… yeah. Lots of questions. SO many questions I didn't even know where to start. The pink fox, Mai, pushed Pride aside drawing my attention.

"First, we owe you an apology Max. Pride, get off your high horse, Max, honey. We were the ones who moved your phone. Regardless of our reasons, we trespassed into your personal space, and we scared you." Mai sat on her haunches as she baod her head.

I stilled… "You… watched me… bathe?" Holy Shit Holy Shit, Holy Shit…

"Oh Max! It's not what you think, we weren't watching you, Ace felt you fall asleep. When over an hour passed and you didn't wake up, Reed just popped in to check on you." Mai explained waving her tail at the rabbit.

"I dropped your phone, when you woke up, I put it back. I was careful to not damage it." Reed explained pushing his glasses up.

My heart started to race… "You also… stole my food…" The dog, Tony immediately tucked its tail. I've been obsessively checking my food stores every day since then…

"I, I, I was hungry," Tony stammered as he curled up pitifully.

"Tony is sin of Gluttony, we… do have to eat." Mai added petting the dogs head comfortingly.

I felt dizzy, was this a panic attack? They'd been watching me for almost two weeks… Dillon's phrasing… they owed me an apology… "Dillon knew. Dillon knew it was you all, this whole time."

"Not exactly, we were still bound to him, he didn't think we'd sneak off to check on you. Pissed off is an understatement. That's why he put the stupid bells on us." Ire complained smacking the bell. The sharp sound cutting through the darkness.

I turned to the red doll, "What do the bells do?" Was that a way to bind them?

Reed pushed his glasses up, "The bells would have alerted you that we were here. Until we gain enough merit, or have your permission we're stuck in the dolls again. All of which we can explain in the morning. For now, I think it best we give Max time to sleep, we came to give our apologies as well as greetings. Now that we have, we should give him time to digest."

"Of course, cuddle up everyone. Don't worry Max, we can't hurt you. Now! It's been ages since we slept as dolls." Mai said looking at her paws, then stretched out. After circling around for a moment, she cuddled up to the bear.

I was dumbfoundedly watching as all seven dolls… started to find places on my bed to sleep. This was all just a dream. When I wake up, the dolls would be back on the top shelf, I'd message Dillon, and reach out to the landlord. Yeah, that was a great plan.

I laid down, surrounded on all sides by the colorful dolls, and drifted back into sleep. When I woke up… I was still surrounded by dolls. In fact, the dog, Tony, was chasing his tail.

"Time for breakfast? Breakfast time? Oh! I'm so hungry I could eat a cow!" Tony greeted eagerly as he licked my face, then went back to chasing his tail.

Clearly, I'm still dreaming, so I'll just roll with it. I was on auto pilot as I followed the dog doll to the kitchen. Tony pulled out four eggs, bacon, shredded cheese, potatoes, milk, and two bananas. As I was making omelets Tony lay on my shoulders, giving me… cooking tips.

First I cooked four thick slices of bacon before setting them off to the side. Now I was beating eggs like a marionette. Usually I would just crack them on the pan for quick scrambled eggs…

"Yeah, just a quick dash of milk as you beat the eggs makes them super fluffy! Oh! Yes! Perfect, oh yeah! Oooh! I like the cheese added to the egg mix, gives them a crunchy outside! Okay! Slowly add the mix from the center, that way the cheese kinda pools in the center! Perfect!" Tony chattered in my ear so much I thought maybe he should have been in the bird doll.

"Oh! Max! Tilt the pan! Tilt the pan quick!!! We need the perfect circle!!!" Tony cried out clawing at my shoulder. I jolted, quickly tilting the pan so the egg spread out evenly. Soon I was adding more cheese and bacon bits. Before I knew it… I was sitting at my coffee table, seven dolls with their own plates, eating breakfast.

I glanced at my plate, a banana, a two egg omelet, and half a potatoes worth of pan fried potatoes… I'd cooked two portions that the dolls had split among themselves. Tony eating half my portion, while the other six had split the half portion among themselves evenly.

"Not bad Max! So, we should definitely talk now yeah?" Pride asked as he drank the last of his milk.

I stared at the doll… where…. Where was the food they ate going? How did a horse doll even pick up a fork? "Oh? Uh. About what?" I'd have to be careful with my groceries…

Mai wiped her mouth before sauntering over to sit in my lap. "Well, this must come as a surprise, I mean, its not every day you meet the seven deadly sins in the flesh." Mai teased wagging her tail.

"Oh, yeah… uh… so… how does this work?" I felt like he should still be dreaming, but the doll was really moving. "How do you guys eat?" I finally blurted out as I started petting the fox in his lap.

Tony lifted his head with a large grin, "Oh! We aren't really dolls! We just don't have enough merit for you to see us yet!" He happily explained as he gobbled up the last few bites of the omelet with a satisfied burp.

"Oh, makes sense." I murmured looking the dolls over. "Merit… how does that work?"

Reed adjusted his glasses, "Well, do you watch system anime?"

I nodded, "Uh a few, when I have time."

"Good, that will make our explanation much easier. Basically, we have a shop, but only by helping you can we earn the currency for it. It's not exactly how it works, but that's as close as an explanation we can give. That also means, if we cause you harm, our currency decreases. As you are our new… contractor, we only have a level one shop." Reed explained as he started piling dishes from the other sins together.

I stiffened, "I thought you couldn't hurt me."

Ire shrugged, "Not directly, but if let's say, we tell you to invest in crypto, and you lose all your money? Thats a way we can indirectly harm you. Or you get fired because you don't get enough sleep, that's a harm too."

Pride snorted, "Or someone tries to mug you, and someone tells you to fight, causing you to end up in the hospital."

"It was one freaking time! Fer Fucks sake Pride, don't take shit outta context!" Ire snapped.

Pride rolled his eyes, "Moving on, do you have any other questions Max?"

I stared… I didn't want to panic… but this was a rough part of town… the possibility of getting mugged wasn't zero. "Uh, what… can you buy in the shop?"

The sins all shared a glance before Mai answered, "Well, so it's easier to understand. We can "buy" time in our original forms, or upgrade our shells, or unlock some of our abilities."

I nodded, "So uh, nothing like, uh, stat upgrades for me though… right?"

Mai giggled as she used her tail to brush my cheek. "Sorry Max, nothing like that. Maybe shop wasn't the right word. The more merit, the more we unlock our real selves."

I nodded, "So, are you guys like, sealed or something?"

"Kind of, most supernatural aren't doing well in the modern age. But, don't worry about that. Let's talk about you." Mai teased as she rolled onto her back.

"Uhh… okay." I agreed… then waited. The silence was… so awkward, "Uh, what… do you want to know?"

Ire glanced up as if praying to the heavens for strength, "Okay, so we are here to basically help you become the best you, think of us like life coaches. Wha, what the hell Reed!" Ire demanded when he was smacked with rabbit's the notebook.

"As you probably noticed, Ire is Wrath, his temper is short, but he means well. One would think after thousands of years he'd learn to mind his tongue. Though life coaches was a good way to put it. Now, I don't mean to pry, but Max, you're… in a bit of a bind financially, correct?" Reed asked adjusting his glasses.

I stiffed but nodded, "Uh, yeah, a bit."

"Well, I would be more than willing to help. I happen to be the sin of greed." Reed introduced with a small bao.

My lips twitched… let greed… manage my finances??? Wasn't that just asking to get embezzled from? My face must have given my thoughts away.

"Don't think of me as those cartoon villains, trying to hoard wealth. Those are overly simplistic, exaggerated ways of old. My goal is to help you liv your rich life, whatever that might be. Perhaps being able to buy a fancy coffee while reeding in the sun is your goal, or becoming a CEO of your own company. I will help you set budgets, plan for your retirement, ensure you can afford… food." Reed added glancing at Tony.