My Life Coaches are the Seven Deadly Sins

I was mildly questioning all of my life choices as Reed started going over all my finances. Yeah, last time we made the three lists… but this… ugh my brain hurt.

"So, our first plan of attack needs to be your credit cards, if we pay the minimum $400 a month, it's still going to take over two and a half years to pay off all $8,300. Now that we've broken down your paycheck we know you'll be bringing home roughly $725 each paycheck after taxes, and insurance. So after probation we can start seeing what overtime and shift diff will look like." Reed was explaining as he looked at his note pad.

"Our set costs are: rent by the 5th is $200, phone bill on the 25th $55, gym membership on the first $15, insurance on the 2nd $119, credit card payments 21st and 22nd $400 total. That's $789 in fixed costs each month. Leaving us only $663 for food, transportation, maintenance.

"For now, we should focus on our food budget. Transportation will fluctuate unless we invest in the monthly pass, maintenance we should set aside a fixed amount. Does that sound like a plan so far Max?" Reed asked pushing his glasses back up his rabbit face.

I jolted, "Yeah, sounds like a plan. Food." I was for sure paying attention.

"It's going to be hard in the beginning because you are still purchasing items for the apartment. So we'll set food as shopping, with a weekly budget, part for food, part for supplies. Make sense?" Reed further coaxed.

I sipped on water as I nodded, "Makes sense."

"Okay. Now Max, I want you to spend the next thirty minutes listing all the items we still need for the apartment, sooner rather than later, or items you need in general." Reed said glancing around the still very empty apartment.

I nodded, taking a note pad to jot down anything I could think of. A drying rack, selves, rolling countertop, headphones, shelving for the bathroom, towels, table, chairs… by the time my thirty minutes were up… I had dozens of items. I wasn't even done yet.

"Now, organize the list into things needed within the next month, three months, and six months." Reed ordered looking over my shoulder. I hadn't even noticed when he'd settled on my shoulder. I sat down, breaking the list into more lists. Yeash… lots of lists…

After another five minutes I'd narrowed down the items I needed. Bathroom shelving, hand towels, bathing towels, cleaning towels or rags, drying rack and mat, swim suit for gym, gym clothes, pajamas, clothes in general.

Reed kept watch from my shoulder, "So, I just want to throw some ideas out there."

I glanced over, "Uhh, okay, sure."

"So, instead of pajamas, you could double purpose your gym clothes," Reed suggested.

"Saves… time… getting ready… on gym… days too…" Ace called lethargically waving a paw. As I glanced over he suddenly morphed into a full sized person in bear pajamas…

"Hey! How's that even work?" I demanded as Ace glanced at himself, then rolled over as if to fall back asleep.

"Your… partiality to saving time as given him enough merit to change." Reed stated through gritted teeth.

I tensed, rabbit teeth were sharp, "Uhh… but… how… does that work?" Mai bounded over, fluffy fox tail waving.

"Oh, its kind of complicated, but the easiest way to explain is, the more you feel the change, or accept an idea, the one you think helped with that change gets the merit. Case in point, you seem partial to saving time. So since Ace said you could save time by just wearing gym clothes instead of pajamas, he gained that merit because it immediately clicked with you." Mai explained using her tail to point at Ace. "If you had seen using gym clothes as pajamas as saving money, Reed would have gotten the merit."

I tensed, hunching a bit as Reed started to furiously write in his little note book, "Uhh, sorry… I… I didn't mean it like that Reed." I tried to explain.

"It's fine Max, we used to hunt solo because we're so intertwined. It's only in the last century or so we've been working together. Lots of stepping on toes." Mai giggled brushing her tail over my cheek.

"It's fine Max, it just means I'm not speaking your language. I will have to… adjust." Reed said on a sigh. "But yes, rather than finding single use items, it's better to see what we can consolidate, or has multi purpose options. Maybe rather than a drying mat to absorb moisture, the towel after you bathe can be used. At least until we have a bit more room financially speaking."

"Uh, yeah, good idea." I thought really hard about how appreciative I was that Reed was helping me sort all this out. How he'd helped me break down my paycheck so I could understand what to expect for the next six weeks of training… I opened one eye… he was still a rabbit.

Reed patted me on the cheek, "We can't force it Max, it doesn't work like that. I am getting merit though, so don't worry. You're just more naturally attuned to Ace rather than myself. Which I admit… does surprise me a little."

I flinched, "I just uh, never… worried about money like that… I could always just you know, get another job…" I tried to explain. It was true, I'd been more worried about money in the last month than I had my entire life… but deep down I knew… I could always stay with one of my brothers… or parents… it would suck, but they'd never let me stay on the street.

Reed tapped his pen on the notebook, "I see. You do appear financially responsible, might I assume the $3000 credit card debt you were expecting was to help raise your credit score?" Reed asked contemplatively.

"Uh, yeah, I wanted them to raise the limit without a, uh, hard check, so… put more on it than I should have. Kind of backfired on me though." I added with a sigh. Reed just nodded as he started to write in his little notebook again.

"I see, I will adjust my plans then. Still, that means we can jump into portfolio diversity sooner, for now, necessary items." Reed nodded to my lists again.

"Now, let's… set aside $50 a week for food, then $50 for necessary items. Now, transportation will be tricky. Some items just don't fit realistically for bus rides. That's another $200 a month. Realistically, we should be able to keep transportation under $150. Which would leave us roughly $313. Are there any other bills we can expect Max?" Reed asked glancing over the lists.

I thought back… "I can't think of anything."

"Okay, then we can leave $100 for fun money or impulse buys, then half of anything we have left over at the end of the month, we should put toward credit card debt. The rest to start an emergency fund." Reed finally stated closing his notebook.

Before I could close my computer and sneak away, Reed spoke again.

"We should make an exact list of everything we plan to buy before we make any purchases. To avoid impulse buys while shopping for food. Especially since we've already used $60 of our fun money for the month." Reed stated looking pointedly at the box of flats by the front door.

I flinched as I opened up my notebook again. Ugh… when will I be able to escape? I glanced longingly at Ace who was softly snoring… naps were good for the soul…