My Servant System

The discussion went on for a little longer, though it was now primarily between the two Demonesses as they discussed more 'personal' things that regarded their race instead of the things I could relate to.

Yes, you could argue that I was aware of the things they were discussing and understood how they functioned and thought because of my 'owner' being a Demoness as well, but no matter how much she tried to biologically imprint herself onto me I would never understand what it is like to be a Demoness.

So I sort of spaced out a little and left them to their own discussion, listening to it and shelving away all of the information for later as I tried to focus on what I was doing now instead, which was searching for joy from the vast amounts of blood I was shedding.

Maybe this was the apex of this Trial's objective or maybe we were just in one of the larger waves that we were meant to 'find', but there were hundreds of these irritating green bastards waiting to be killed in whichever way I found the most pleasing.

That was where I began to notice that something was a bit... off about myself, since the sight of a bloody fountain forming from the now vacant neck of a goblin wasn't really giving me that same thrill that it used too...

And lopping off their limbs and watching as they tried to stumble away from the danger only to get trampled by their brood mates was just... it was still 'funny' to me, don't get me wrong, and I very much enjoyed seeing these pests get turned into mincemeat, but it wasn't as 'arousing' as it once was.

I wasn't getting the same highs as before, though that isn't to say I wasn't enjoying this... though that was where the conundrum resided since I should be filled with euphoria at the massacre I was committing...

Only to instead feel like I was doing something... fun but also monotonous, like it was just something that I needed to do to feel a bit of a boost of enjoyment; sort of how a stretch after a long period of rest gives you a bit of happiness as you crack and pull things in your body you forgot existed.

It was good for a moment but not for a real session of fun... which I guess sounded more like foreplay, but...

So to give myself the mental stimulation I deserved I tried to do the things that I used to go out of my way to do whenever I was in a situation like this, which was bad for the goblins and somewhat good for me.

The War Pick found its way back into its holster on my hip, dangling from the small loop that held it in place and freeing up a hand for magic, either to go through the motions that gave me joy or to amplify my new vocal abilities.

Like the tried and true classic of compressing a large amount of Ice Mana within my palm so that I could blast something a foot or two away from me with insane power, blowing it apart and causing an explosion of goodness everywhere.

Rapid firing this 'shotgun' of mine allowed me to clear out a dozen of the green beasties in almost two seconds, and the resulting shower of flesh, bone pieces, brain matter and blood was absolutely wonderful.

Downright chaotic yet so beautiful when I admired its randomness... it was a thrill to see the reds and pinks filling my vision and raining down around me, to have the surprised shouts of their brood mates as they watched the goblins in front of them lose their heads and upper torsos...

It was good, great even, but the swift descent back to just feeling kind of 'bleh' about all of this had me rather confused; it was like a swift high that had an even quicker fall off, and that worried me immediately since now I just wasn't enjoying this at all.

Knowing that the high I got was so short lived and that there was a chance I couldn't realistically chase it was rather worrying, since now I was looking at this sea of goblins, hobgoblins, ogres and all other green skinned monsters as nothing more than a chore for me to clear up so that I could get back 'home' and do something fun.

The conversation going on beside me was what made it bearable, and that was even more worrying since it wasn't one that involved me directly; it was just something I was 'eavesdropping' on as of right now, and if that was more interesting then killing goblins in a brutal way...

Not even a quick glance at my 'big number go bigger' meter was doing it for me right now, which was where more and more flags were getting raised in my head, making me question if something had happened to me mentally.

Did Cali shift something in my personality, or did I eat or do something that caused this shift; maybe that powder Anput and I took didn't resonate with me as well as I thought it had, or was this perhaps the doing of the bloodline array we had partaken in?

Whatever it was I needed to figure it out fast, because if we were going to be here for another 'week' and I was supposed to take more of these Trials where killing a large quantity of monsters was a requirement I wanted to do so because I enjoyed it.

If I didn't enjoy it then it became a chore, and if it became a chore I was going to start cutting corners to make it as efficient and bland as possible, something that I very much wanted to avoid doing because that would immediately cause my overall mood to plummet to rock bottom.

Thankfully the quantity of the monsters meant I could micromanage my 'doses' of bloodshed to an impeccable degree, and the moment I began to rely more on my magic it became far more bearable.

Turning goblins into tree ornaments as I skewered dozens of them on this giant crystal tree I raised from nowhere was fun, and introducing one of them to a lotus bulb I made from ice and letting it become intimately acquainted with it as it slid into its chest before blossoming was definitely a pretty sight too...

The question just became whether or not this was enough, if this was a phase or if I was losing my mind, and I really wasn't wanting to answer any of those questions because it not only raised more, but it made me just a little bit scared...