Naruto: The Chosen Undead

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Chapter 106 Between a Rock and a Hard Place

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Naruto walked to the ladder and kicked it down with a loud clang. The metal screeched as it extended, hitting the ground below with a satisfying thud. He climbed down to the bonfire, sitting down to rest for a moment.

He placed his empty Estus flasks on the ground, watching as the bonfire's warm light filled them back up. He felt the soothing warmth of the flames seeping into his body, easing some of the tension in his muscles.

After a moment, Naruto stood and walked out of the small chamber, back into the familiar open area with its crumbling walls and narrow pathways. His eyes immediately landed on the crossbow hollow standing at the far edge, its weapon already aimed at him.

"Really? We're doing this again?"

Fifteen minutes later, Naruto stood victorious. Every hollow in the area lay dead.

His Zweihander resting against his shoulder, Naruto made his way down the familiar staircase that led to the merchant's hidden nook.

"Alright," he muttered under his breath. "Let's see if that creepy guy knows how to fix a hand."

Naruto walked to the merchant's corner.

The merchant, now restored to his human form through the use of humanity, turned to Naruto with a sly grin. His unkempt brown hair, squinted eyes, and scraggly beard gave him the same shifty, scheming look as before—only now with a bit more life in his pale features.

"Wow. You're even uglier than before."

The merchant barked out a laugh. "Ha! Good one, boy. Always quick with the tongue, aren't you? But I see that arm of yours has seen better days." His eyes lingered on Naruto's hand, his grin faltering for just a moment before returning.

"Yeah," Naruto replied, raising it. "Tried to add chakra to my Pyromancy Flame for extra firepower. Big mistake."

"Playing with fire, were you? Foolish. But that's the curse of youth, eh? Always tinkering, always breaking things."

Naruto sighed. "Alright, funny guy. Any idea how to fix this?"

The merchant rubbed his chin theatrically, making a show of deep thought. "Fix it, you say? Hmm. Well, no. Pyromancy isn't really my thing. Too much fuss, too much fire. But—" He raised a finger dramatically. "I did meet a pyromancer recently. A curious fellow, that one. If anyone can help you, it'd be him."

Naruto's face lit up with hope. "Great! Where is he? Can you point me in the right direction?"

"Eh…" The merchant gave a noncommittal shrug. "People around here don't leave maps or forwarding addresses, boy. Lordran's a big place, full of little hidey-holes. You'll just have to search for him yourself."

Naruto groaned. "Of course. Thanks for nothing."

The merchant chuckled, ignoring the jab. "Or…" He leaned closer. "Why not cut it off?"

"Cut it off? Are you insane?!"

"Think about it," the merchant said. "Hack it off, clean and simple. Start fresh. I could even whip you up a prosthetic, eh? With my skills, it'd be a marvel to behold!"

"Your skills? You mean the same skills that made the 'Reinforced Club'?"

"Of course!" the merchant replied, puffing out his chest. "A masterpiece of engineering, that club is! Reliable, strong, and oh, so fashionable! Nee hee hee hee!"

Naruto snorted. "So the prosthetic would just be a stick tied to my arm with leather straps?"

"Hmph! You've no taste, boy. But fine, if you don't want a marvel of craftsmanship, I've got something else that might help." He reached into his cluttered wares and pulled out a small, glowing orange crystal. "Feast your eyes on this."

"What is it?"

"An Orange Guidance Soapstone. A simple tool, but powerful. Lets you write and read messages left by others in this cursed land. Perhaps someone, somewhere, has written a little tip about curing your ailment, eh?"

"How much?"

"100 souls."

Naruto glanced at his HUD.

[ Souls: 1630 ]

He grinned. "Deal."

The merchant handed over the soapstone, cackling softly. "Thank you kindly! Nee hee hee hee!"

Naruto examined the crystal in his hand as a notification appeared:

[Item Acquired: Orange Guidance Soapstone]

[Description: A common tool favored by wandering clerics and errant paladins. Enables the carving of messages into the very fabric of the world. In the fractured lands of Lordran, where the flow of time bends and breaks, these messages serve as lifelines—words of guidance, warning, or deceit. Trust is a fragile thing in Lordran. Be wary.]

"Anything else?"

"How many firebombs can I get for 500 souls?" Naruto asked.

"Ten firebombs for 500 souls? A bargain, if I do say so myself."

Naruto nodded, making the deal. While the merchant counted out the firebombs, the boy asked, "So, anything new going on around here?"

"Treacherous in these parts, boy. A horrible goat demon's moved in below. Felt its presence not long ago—nearly gave me a heart attack, I tell ya."

"Well, once I fix my arm, I'll go and kill that goat demon."

"For my safety, is it?"

"Nah, just for the souls."

"Spoken like a true fool. Don't go dying, now. I still have to scam you out of your souls!" The merchant let out another sharp laugh before suddenly tossing something at Naruto.

The boy caught it—the reinforced club.

"One-handing that massive sword of yours will get you killed," the merchant said. "Take that club. Easier to use with one hand, and it's got a nice bite to it."

Naruto smiled, slipping the club into his inventory. With a flick of his wrist, he took out a cup of ramen and tossed it back to the merchant.

"What's this?" the merchant asked, holding it up and squinting.

"Ramen," Naruto replied. "Food of the gods."

The merchant snorted but pocketed the cup. "Many thanks, but I prefer booze. Real food's wasted on me."

"I'll bring some booze next time I stop by."

The merchant chuckled, already turning back to his wares. "Don't keep me waiting too long, boy."

Naruto left, equipping the reinforced club as he walked. The weight felt natural in his hand, easier to wield than the Zweihander. For now, it would do.

A few minutes later, he climbed the familiar stone stairs, returning to the bonfire on the bridge, its flickering warmth greeting him like an old friend.

Sitting down, he pulled out the Orange Guidance Soapstone and activated it. Three faint orange lines appeared on the ground before him, glowing softly. He tapped one with the soapstone, and a familiar message appeared:

[Solaire: My dear brother, I await you at the Undead Church for some jolly cooperation.]

Naruto sighed, his breath escaping in a visible puff of mist as he stared down the unfamiliar path. He wasn't sure why he was walking toward the route Solaire had taken—it wasn't like he could follow him now with his arm the way it was. Still, curiosity got the better of him. Maybe getting a lay of the land would help when he returned.

The path wound upward, stairs carved into ancient stone leading to an imposing set of castle walls. The sheer size of them loomed like a reminder of how small he was in this world. Naruto hesitated as his eyes landed on a massive doorway ahead, wide and tall enough to accommodate something far larger than a man.

Naruto's moment of reflection was cut short as a hollow soldier that stood guard ran forward, sword raised. Without hesitation, Naruto hurled a firebomb, the explosion consuming the hollow in a burst of flame. Another firebomb finished the job, leaving the charred remains crumpled on the ground.

"Easy enough," Naruto muttered.

He turned back toward the bonfire, ready to leave Lordran behind for now, when he felt it.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as a wave of pressure washed over him. Way of Focality told him that something was coming. Something big.

The air grew still, heavy, as if the very world was holding its breath.

BOOM!

The ground quaked as something massive landed in front of him, kicking up a cloud of dust that obscured everything. Naruto staggered back, his heart hammering in his chest as he tried to peer through the haze.

Then he saw it.

A hulking figure emerged from the white cloud, its jet-black armor telling him exactly what the enemy was—the Black Knight.

But this one was different. It carried no sword. Instead, it wielded a shield—a massive, jagged monstrosity. The shield's large, rectangular surface tapered slightly at the top and bottom, with wicked, serrated edges extending outward like cruel spikes. It wasn't just a defensive tool; it was a weapon in its own right, designed to crush and tear.

"Oh, hell no."

Without a word, it began to advance, its heavy footfalls reverberating through the stone path like the toll of a death knell.

Naruto didn't wait. He turned and sprinted toward the open courtyard ahead, desperate to put distance between himself and the knight.

He burst into the courtyard, his eyes scanning the area for an escape route—and then his heart stopped.

The courtyard stretched out before him, an open expanse of stone bordered by pillars and walls. Fires burned in iron braziers on either side, casting shadows that seemed to dance mockingly. To the right, stairs led upward toward a narrow path.

But it wasn't the architecture that caught Naruto's attention.

It was the thing standing at the far end of the courtyard.

An enormous, grotesque boar.

The creature was a monstrosity, its body covered almost entirely in gleaming steel armor. Plated metal encased its thick neck and shoulders, jagged and cruelly designed to deflect any strike. Its glowing red eyes burned like embers in the dark, and its tusks, each as long as Naruto's forearm, curved upward in a wicked arc. Steam hissed from its snout as it scraped a hoof against the stone ground, lowering its head in preparation to charge.

Naruto's stomach twisted as the boar let out a guttural, bestial snarl that echoed through the courtyard.

"Are you kidding me?" he whispered, his voice barely audible over the pounding of his own heartbeat.

Behind him, the Black Knight entered the courtyard, its jagged shield glinting ominously in the firelight.

Naruto's head snapped back and forth, his panic mounting. On one side, the knight; on the other, the armored boar. Both predators slowly closed the distance, their movements deliberate and methodical, as if savoring the hunt.

[Souls: 1120]

"I can't die," Naruto thought, panic clawing at his chest. Normally, death in Lordran was an inconvenience at best—a reset button that let him try again. But that was only because his shadow clone carried the effect of the Ring of Sacrifice, allowing him to avoid losing his hard-earned souls.

Now, with no shadow clone and no way to exploit the ring, the stakes were higher. If he died here, his souls could be lost forever—taken by a hollow or worse... the armored boar.

"How the hell am I going to survive this?"

He was trapped. The Black Knight to his rear, its massive jagged shield glinting ominously in the firelight. The armored boar ahead, its tusks gleaming as it lowered its head in preparation to charge.

Both threats were advancing. Both intent on tearing him apart.

Naruto's mind raced, grasping for a plan, a solution, anything. But the only thought that surfaced was one word: Fuck.

The courtyard erupted into chaos.

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[ Personal Note: First off, thanks a ton to all of you for sticking with this story. Seriously, you guys are awesome. Now, if you're interested in supporting me on P@treon, let me just say that over there, I post these massive 5k-word chapters. But heads up, if you're jumping to P@treon, you'll need to start from Chapter 54, since that's where this chapter lines up with the content there.

To everyone here just reading along, please don't forget to leave a comment! Honestly, your comments make my day, and they let me know you're as invested in this story as I am. So yeah, thanks again, and I hope you have an amazing rest of your day!