Penelope Must Die: The Villainess Fakes Her Death

Chapter 9: Happy Thoughts



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"As Holison dragged me along, I watched Blert's fuming expression disappear behind us."

Walking alongside the young knight, I wondered if I could milk this opportunity.

If I manage to save this nobleman's life, he could be useful in helping me get out of this situation!

... Or not?

I don't know.

Would it be worth the stakes I'll be facing once I reveal that this body's owner, Penelope Ashdown, one of the most useless, dumbest figures in high society, could actually save a dying man using no holy powers?

What if they accuse me of using Chaos energy again? Worse yet, what if they call me a witch and burn me to death!?

I shivered at the mere thought of it...

I mean, let's be real, I'm in a melodramatic novel.

I possessed a body that had me looking like I act in perfume ads. Would it be unrealistic for me to hope—no, to expect that the man I would save will turn out to be a hot dude with a dark past and daddy issues who'll fall in love with me at first sight and pretend he actually fell in love with our banter or something as false?

Probably not.

Am I confident in my ability to save AND charm someone to save my life?

Absolutely not.

Then, it's decided.

I'm not even done with my residency yet. I wouldn't trust myself with 15 years of experience, let alone eight. What if the nobleman dies in my hands? I would be killed on the spot.

I shook my head. It's decided. I won't do it.

Shoulders slightly hunched, I dragged my feet, following behind Holison.

He's the idiot who gave away the Prison Stones being a bluff last night.

"This is where I leave you, lady." He said, turning to me once he was in front of the carriage. "Oh!" He exclaimed, looking at a figure behind me. "Miss Alice!"

"Alice?" I threw a glance back, and there she was. An out-of-breath, monotone lady-in-waiting.

"You." Alice's nostrils were flaring. She stood a few feet away, having just come out of the forest.

"Oh, Jeremy, Alfons!" Holison called out, having caught sight of several other figures following in Alice's trail, also exiting the forest. It was a bunch of armored men, possibly less breathless than she was. "Have you heard—?" Holison ran up to his older colleagues and disappeared into their crowd.

My gaze fell back on Alice.

She didn't look so monotone, closing in on me with glaring pink eyes, rumpled hair, and untidy clothes. There was a handful of tree leaves stuck in her hair.

"Long time no shee," I smiled awkwardly, holding my jaw, a little flustered by her unexpected ability to... uh, human.

Alice's angry gaze broke away from me and landed on the knights who had left the forest moments after she did. Within half a second, she seemed to have remembered or realized something, because her stare softened and her aggressive steps halted.

She sighed and walked towards me.

"Miss Alice, be sure to shackle the criminal and put her in the carriage!" Holison ordered before walking away with his panicking colleagues.

"So," I turned to the lady-in-waiting. "Given your body language, I understand you were worried about me, Alice?" I threw her a smug look.

She was probably looking for her lady in the forest.

She might be disappointed I'm back. I say that's why she seemed mad at first.

"As a matter of course. I was looking for you out of obligation, Lady Penelope. But, I would not dare contradict your anticipations of my concern towards your well-being."

"So you don't care if I disappear or not," I stated.

"You misunderstand my words a great deal, my lady." She took the leaves out of her hair and fixed it straight.

Yeah, because you wish for me to disappear.

I gave her a knowing look.

How cruel is it that this world's nobles can't even go to jail alone; they have to drag their servants with them? Like, what punishment is it if they have someone they can order around to carry the burden with them?

Her eyes coldly stared me down, filled with a sense of challenge rather than condescension.

"Well, it's good I don't have to worry about you worrying about me, then." I nodded.

I never did. But at least now I never will.

She opened the door for me to get into the carriage and left to get the shackles.

Once inside the carriage, I sat on the hard wooden seat and leaned back against the wall behind me. I pursed my lips and let my eyes wander around the vehicle's insides. Nothing was interesting to look at, the walls were wooden and old, the windows dirty, and their glass was thick, with bars blocking the meadow's view.

But I kept looking around like this vehicle had the most intricate design I had ever seen... Because it felt too awkward to look at her.

A woman was sobbing loudly, sitting in front of me.

"Oh, Korpa, forgive me!" She cried, sniffling gross snot in and out with each breath.

~

Thirty minutes later, she was still sobbing. Rocking back and forth with her dull blonde locks, wearing a blue cloak that covered her upper face

"Oh, Korpa...!" Melissa, the sinful clergywoman, cried into her palms.

"Just shut it already." That was all I wanted to ask.

But... there was a part of me that did feel bad.

"Most people deserve to fall. Especially if they're above you. But kicking someone who's down isn't suited for the likes of us. We're too familiar with the feeling."

My mother's words echoed a little bit on the dark street, carried by the cold breeze that was slowly freezing us both to death. Our noses were red and our limbs were trembling. We were in a corner of the road, out of sight, wrapped in aluminum foil and waiting for the sun to rise.

"Ma, I'm bad at metaphors."

She turned to me with a roast, but then her expression softened at the sight of my clicking teeth, and so she continued, "People who are down means people... Well, people like us," She admitted, giving a faint smile, unaware that ten-year-old Penelope could see the heartbreak and anger behind her eyes.

We had just been kicked out of our home by a group of drug dealers as a way to threaten my father. It was my first time seeing blood, that day.

Ah... The good old days.

"It was him..." Ma's voice traveled out from the pits of my mind, painting a new scene from my past. "Your fucking dad..."

As the memories arose, I began to breathe longer in an attempt to redirect my thoughts.

It's not my fault. It wasn't my fault.

But...

"Are you really okay with this?" A blank-faced man had asked. I clutched my throat, gasping for air. "Your mom died yesterday."

I looked up at the carriage's ceiling, knuckles whitening on the chair. 

It's okay. I just needed to breathe. Focus on now. Blert, the nobleman, the...

"Ugh..." I put a hand on my chest, frowning as I tried not to cry.

How can I be okay with this?

Ma is dead.

I'm dead.

What was the point in...

I held my head, chest throbbing.

A voice pierced through the growing screeching in my head. "My lady?"

"My lady..." Alice had opened the carriage's door, letting in light from behind her. I blinked, breaths irregular. 

She stared at me, eyes wide, eyebrows arched in both surprise and horror.

"How..."

Catching herself before she spoke further, Alice blinked and broke away from my gaze. She pressed her lips together and gave me a resolute look.

"No, I must fetch a physician."

"He's...!" I reached out, but she was already marching across the meadow, head spinning around as she frantically searched for the doctor.

I let my hand fall in surrender and turned to the clergywoman sitting across from me. She raised her head off her lap and gave me a tearful look. 

"I cannot even help you..." She moped, a long sob escaping her lips before she let her head fall back onto her lap to cry some more. 

I needed to calm the beating in my chest and prevent the tears from falling so uncontrollably. I sniffled, taking deep breaths as I pushed down the terror-inducing memories threatening to rise to the surface. I laid back against the wooden seat.

I can't deal with this right now. I don't have the time to be sad.

Right.

I have to think positively. Happy thoughts.

I closed my eyes.

Think happy thoughts.

Remember, Penelope, you're adorned in gold right now. You're beyond wealthy, even beneath your dirty, raggedy, smelly gown.

Delilah had insisted she couldn't sneak in actual gold coins and decided to get jewelry instead. As a result, the blood circulation in my entire body has taken even more of a hit than my pathetic heart at the moment. 

Seven golden bracelets were under the sleeves, and exactly on the upper side of my arms. I might barely be able to feel my arms, but on a brighter note, each is adorned in fourteen thousand Keps! Furthermore, my corset was stuffed with two diamond necklaces worth twenty-five thousand Keps each. And that would have been enough for our original deal, had I not spotted the six rings on her fingers and the pretty earrings she wore.

With those also in my bra/corset, I am a proud, walking seventy to eighty thousand Keps.

Well, minus the golden bracelet gone to the coachman.

... What a waste that was.

I rested my head against the seat's back, relieved I could finally breathe again, at least through my nose. 

I wasn't very keen on acknowledging it, but since medical attention from someone else was currently impossible, and letting my injury fester would only lead to complications, I had to treat my jaw myself... And now seems like a good time to do it.

I put my fingers on it, examining for the pain. 

"Ow," I muttered, keeping my fingers away from my face as I took a deep breath. 

I wish I had an anesthetic right now. 

I've never done this for myself before, but I have treated several dislocated jaws in my past life.

Admitting to a past life is wild. 

I shook my head to drop the thought/panic.

I carefully manipulated the jaw, tightly shutting my eyes and lips to suppress the pained moans. I gently guided the lower jaw forward, then backward, applying controlled pressure to re-align the jaw bones. 

A few seconds in, I foolishly thought I was getting used to the bone-shuddering pain when my vision suddenly flashed white as I jerked my head against the seat and muffled a scream. I had made a false movement.

I slowly opened my left eye to check on the clergywoman, but she was too busy sobbing aloud to notice me. I sighed and wiped the blood leaking out of my mouth using the sleeve of my clothes. 

Once the dislocation was successfully reduced, I let out a smooth breath from my mouth, which I could now move slightly better.

I would typically recommend a jaw splint for myself, but I'm sitting in a wooden carriage lighted with a torch head hanging from the ceiling, parked in the middle of nowhere, so that's completely out the window.

I was drenched in sweat, breathing heavily, and feeling slightly lightheaded from the procedure. I firmly held my jaw with my palm while I scanned the fabric I wore. 

Perhaps I could rip some of it and use that...

My eyebrows arched upwards when I saw some white silk fabric set on the wooden seat next to the clergywoman. 

New plan.

I hunched over carefully, hand-stretched, mouth drooling at the thought of the fabric's gentle touch against my cheeks. But before I could snatch the fabric from the unnoticed woman's side, a sudden knock on the carriage's window made me jump back to my seat in surprise. 

I turned to the source, shivering at the sight of Commander Blert's silhouette through the dirty, vague glass. 

I opened the door, letting it slip from my grasp and open to its maximum width. He stood before the door while I stood on the staircase to the carriage's inside. For the first time, I stood eye to eye with him, which gave me a strange sense of satisfaction.

His arms rested by his hips, and his air was hard to read. 

Blert's gaze lowered, and he put his arm forward a little and gave a courtesy. My jaw itched with pain at the memory of its last encounter with this man's fist.

I looked left... and then right.

... Is he... He can't be... 

"Apologies for interrupting your peace, revered miss." He said.

"Do not fret it, brave soldier. I am undeserving of your kind regards." The clergywoman's frail voice sounded behind me, making me purse my lips. 

Of course, he's not talking to me. 

"You." He sternly met my gaze, his deep-set hazel eyes torched with grim delight. "Follow me."

With those simple words, and without a second glance at me, he directed another curtesy at the elderly woman sitting in the carriage and marched towards the forest.

"Why?" I asked, stiffening my facial muscles. "Sir," I added lightly.

The commander's stride halted. He carefully spun to look back at me, his bushy, weirdly shaped eyebrows pulled together and his mouth in a downturned U.

"Are you questioning orders, prisoner? You think you have such a right?" His eyes glared at me with a subtle earthy warmth, almost burning through my gaze.

"N-Not that," I admitted, fearing for my remaining healthy bones. "... Fine," I mumbled, nose scrunched. I stepped down the stairs of the carriage and closed the door, my heartbeat loudening as I began to panic.

It's fine, Penelope.

I looked around the two of us, reminding myself that even within the forest, with the deadly silence that encircled this camp at the moment, everyone could hear me if I called for help. The other knights were within earshot, if not visible, and Alice would come looking for me soon.

I wouldn't be alone with this guy. Not really.

I swallowed, shuffling my feet across the wet soil, following in his stride.

I attempted to memorize our path, but after endless minutes of marching on crispy leaves, I couldn't tell one tall tree from another. All I could see around us as the commander finally came to a halt was an identical replica of the same tree sample pasted around us too many times to count—tall trees with thin trunks and hat-like crowns.

Each breath I took came in a shallow gasp as I pursued the Commander, each step echoing my growing paranoia. The forest seemed to close in around us, the birdsong eerily absent. I felt the weight of every tree, every bush as if the forest itself held its breath.

The tents that were once within my perspective were now nowhere to be seen, I could no longer hear the rattling of furniture and the neighing of the horses.

My heart rate was through the roof, my stomach was heating up from the anxiety and my eyes were shooting all around the plains, examining the place for any other presence.

A small voice called to me from the very back of my head;

He knows. It warned. He knows about your stupid pretense. You're fucked.


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