PTSD Military Chaplain of the Academy

“Therefore, I think it would be best to use this theology book for tomorrow’s class. I also found all the related materials here.”

Sofia sub-priest said softly while pointing to a part of the book. Despite that, the fresh and sweet scent of oranges briefly tickled the nose from a distance that was still audible enough.

“Now that we are nearing the first semester midterm assessment… I heard that the second-year theology exam has been decided to be held during the final assessment this time. Did you discuss it with the other second-year theology professors?”

“……”

“Head Priest?”

“…Ah, yes. That’s right.”

A hint of doubt flashed in Sofia’s eyes as she looked at me, but when I returned her gaze with my usual expression, she was able to sidestep the subject.

“Then, I guess there will be a second-year professor meeting after the midterm assessment. Right after that is the Saint Ruadan feast day… that day, I think the main chapel might be briefly opened. Since external guests will be coming, we might need to prepare a bit more bread?”

“I will submit a delivery request. Thank you.”

“Not at all. It’s my job.”

As I watched Sofia sub-priest immerse herself in work again with her pen in hand, I felt as if I was swirling around a single piece of information in my head that I couldn’t shake off.

* * * * *

A war might break out.

And if that happens, the academy will also become subject to conscription.

When I first heard those words in the mansion of Adelhaid Duke, the first thing I did was deny it.

Denial often serves as the first button to fasten in many situations. By denying something, doubts will arise, and if those doubts take root based on that, it becomes thought.

A war might break out? Is international affairs as precarious as walking on a blade’s edge?

At first, I was anxious, and my vision darkened, but before long, I found myself unconcerned.

I didn’t even deny it. If Adelhaid Duke spoke of such things, then that must be the case.

In the first place, even if a war breaks out again, there is nothing I can do. At most, I would undergo a very brief training as a war veteran and be sent back to the front lines.

Even if a war erupts, I have no power to stop it. I have no social status, no personal strength, and no political power stemming from connections. I possess nothing.

The issue was the second one.

“Chancellor Damian agreed to the academy’s conscription in case of emergencies.”

The fact that Chancellor Damian agreed to the conditions of the Caldera Imperial Academy’s conscription in case of emergencies.

That made me tremble with anxiety. It was what made me deny Adelhaid Duke’s words for the first time, and there was an uncertain assumption that Chancellor Damian could not possibly be that kind of person.

Of course, it was foolish. The evidence would be far less than even a fraction of what Adelhaid Duke was explaining. Even if I tried to defend Chancellor Damian, I would have to appeal to emotions with nothing but feelings.

“I… do not believe it.”

Thus, I showed strong denial. Adelhaid Duke frowned, as if he had expected I would feel that way.

“I understand your feelings, Professor Antorelli. However, denying the stark reality before us will change nothing.”

“…Why would Chancellor Damian accept such conditions? What could he possibly be lacking?”

“That… I do not know either.”

I felt an urge to storm into the academy’s chancellor’s office right away. The thought that students could be subject to conscription in an emergency was an incomprehensible choice by my standards.

Recalling the finger incident, wasn’t Chancellor Damian an educator who cherished students more than anyone else? I could still vividly remember Chancellor Damian’s anger for not being able to handle such matters properly within the Holy Empire.

Thus, the second thought I had was suspicion. I wondered if Adelhaid Duke had some ulterior motive in sowing discord.

Of course, that thought was dispelled in less than ten seconds. Why would Adelhaid Duke feel the need to shake Chancellor Damian?

Now, I had to objectively view the situation unfolding before me. I did not want to let my long-held wishes from yesterday ruin a crucial task for tomorrow.

“…Separately, what connection does Chancellor Damian’s extended business trip have with this?”

When I asked, Adelhaid Duke rubbed his chin with a slightly troubled expression.

This is an important issue. With doubts surrounding Chancellor Damian’s choices now, it was only natural to examine each of his suspicious actions closely.

After a moment of hesitation, Adelhaid Duke eventually spoke.

“Do not blame Chancellor Damian too much. There was probably outside pressure.”

“Outside pressure, you say…”

“War is… the last resort for resolving conflicts between nations. Wouldn’t you agree?”

War. It is the last resort for solving conflicts between countries.

Those who are satisfied are just a few, while the dissatisfied are mostly many; yet, no one can dare voice their displeasure at such an unreasonable national decision.

“Very few people genuinely like war. If there are people like that, they might have become obsessed with blood and fighting.”

Adelhaid Duke muttered as if recalling something. The last great war was so horrifying that anyone, whether they were a commissioned officer or a high-ranking officer on the front lines, would think of it as hell. Adelhaid Duke was no exception.

Officers commanding from the rear headquarters, especially those who prioritized national interests, tend to exalt the horrors of such tragedies, but at least he was a person who commanded directly in the front lines.

Of course, it was not that Adelhaid Duke did not view the deaths of soldiers merely as numbers, so my eyes narrowed involuntarily.

“…Do not look at it that way. In the early stages of the war, it was a matter of national survival. I think I became impatient and changed my personality.”

“That’s fine. Please continue.”

“Anyway, while the Empire did win the last great war, it was ultimately a victory filled with scars. There wasn’t a trace of glory, and even less of honor. Damn it…”

Adelhaid Duke clicked his tongue and sighed. He was a nobleman. He couldn’t possibly enjoy a battle without honor.

“Still, I see it as certain progress in eliminating all wars. We made the horrors of war well known to the people.”

“…In the early stages of the war, many people enlisted voluntarily without understanding anything.”

“True. But did that continue afterward?”

As newspapers spread and the horrors of the battlefield gradually began to crack the surface and be revealed, people awoke from the illusion that they would become heroes by winning battles.

In the artillery-ridden, bullet-swept battlefield, there were no heroes.

“It is truly difficult to control the media. The royal family could not control all media outlets. How could they stop war correspondents from going to the frontlines on their own?”

The military, especially the soldiers, deputy officers, low-ranking officers in the front lines, and some junior officers welcomed the war correspondents. In a battlefield where humanity is eradicated, the only way to leave a physical memory of comrades who might die tomorrow is through the photographs taken by war correspondents. I have a few as well.

“The problem is that they also could not silence various rumors after the war.”

“…Dissatisfaction erupted regarding the peace agreement.”

“You saw it immediately.”

Unless one is a blood-thirsty lunatic or a murderer, no one likes war. Let alone when the tragedies of youth being torn to pieces on the front lines are being published in photographs.

And because of that, the distribution of rewards during the post-war processing must be certain.

Countless young men died. Immediately after the war ended, the number of unmarried women in the Empire increased drastically. After all, since there were so few young men returning to society, that was inevitable.

Adelhaid Duke’s ability to become a war hero was also due to this background. Many more soldiers survived than initially expected during the operations he devised, successfully completing their missions.

The fact that many survived was a calculation based on absolute averages. Since countless men had been lost during that time, it was only natural to think that even more would be lost this time.

In reality, many soldiers had still perished.

Amidst all this damage, a half-hearted peace agreement was bound to incite dissatisfaction.

“Most were satisfied. The compensation for the civilian factories and businesses mobilized during the war was thoroughly fulfilled, and manufacturing flourished due to reparations and wartime demands.”

Moreover, they had completely crushed the audacity of the arrogant Elves and Dwarves who had attacked us, thereby continuously raising the Empire’s competitiveness.

And there were always those with a strong sense of entitlement.

“After all those sacrifices, only receiving reparations was insufficient,” they said. It was a sentiment mostly shared among some high-ranking officers.”

“Then, those people…”

“…That’s likely. As international affairs began to tighten again, they probably pressured Chancellor Damian.”

I began to piece the puzzle together. A picture was forming in my mind.

Chancellor Damian received outside pressure. He agreed that in the event of an emergency, the academy’s professors would be conscripted in order.

If the majority of capable professors were conscripted to the front lines, who would follow next?

“…Students.”

“…Right.”

Adelhaid Duke washed his face nervously. As I gazed blankly at him, I truly felt like smoking a cigarette.

“May I smoke just one cigarette?”

“…Do as you wish. There is an ashtray.”

I quickly took out a cigarette. As I brought the match to it, the tip of the cigarette began to glow bright red. I inhaled it deeply into my lungs.

“…Would you care for a smoke?”

“I quit.”

For someone who had quit, he couldn’t take his eyes off the cigarette I was smoking.

I continued to smoke, soothing my pounding head. The familiar scent of mint lingered around me.

“Do you know how much Riina and Laura love the academy?”

“…Yes.”

“…Then that’s sufficient.”

After that, there were no words.

I kept smoking, while Adelhaid Duke absently tilted his teacup.

As some butts accumulated in the ashtray, and when Adelhaid Duke’s black tea was nearing its end.

“Professor Antorelli.”

As I was about to slowly rise from my seat, Adelhaid Duke spoke to me.

“I have made arrangements for the necessary means. I believe you can use them well.”

“……”

“I will do my best to prevent it, but I must always prepare for the worst.”

A faint sense of déjà vu.

It lay before me like a stepping stone.

“Please do whatever you can to prevent a tragedy from repeating.”

Its name was a sense of duty.

---