Quills

12 years ago.

The scent of flowers was robust in the garden as Liem entered his Grand Matriarch's courtyard. It had been three cycles since he had seen his Mother. His father visited late in the night to check on them every week. He sneezed as the spicy smell of the aromatic trees entered his nasal cavity. He disliked her courtyard, but it was not all too bad, his younger brothers soon caught up to him.

"You are here." Jonys said as he planted a hand on his back. "I heard from Lyndin that she is in a foul mood and throwing tantrums again, she tore some of his hair out" Jonys said to his brother in an exasperated tone. Liem cast a forlorn look over to their parents' courtyard. The Doctor, who had been seeing his mother since Lyra's death, exited the courtyard and their eyes awkwardly met as a shriek of anger came from inside the courtyard. Liem sighed.

"Jonys, take the little ones out to play, she will get violent soon, and they do not know that they cannot hit back." Liem said as his face sank. Mother was having a hard time, they were all very sad. Jonys grabbed the hands of Lyndin and Cearir, who had just returned from their own Educational Instruction for the day.

"Let us go play like brother says." Jonys tried his best to lead them. He was barely in his eighth year.

"Doctor, Doctor." Liem said, as he ran. Boys were not supposed to raise their voices. He had to catch up with the Doctor, trying to make it to the transport before it departed. Liem made it to the docking area, he was ready to call out to the doctor just as he tripped over loose gravel. Liem's eyes watered from the pain in his skinned knee as blood dripped.

"Doctor, please stop!" Liem shouted desperately. He wanted to help Leilanna as she was having a really difficult time. The tall doctor turned his head and looked at the pitiful boy on the ground and gave him a sad look. Liem looked up from his skinned knee as the Doctor extended his hand graciously and smiled. Liem was easily pulled up by the doctor.

"You must be Liem, the oldest one. I remember seeing you when you and Leilanna had your developmental assessment. Let me treat this for you." Janel said as he helped the young boy up. "Let us go inside." Janel said to the now quiet boy. Janel's eyebrows raised as he heard a high shriek and a girl cursing loudly coming from the courtyard across from Allurai's.

"I see your sister can talk now. It does not sound like we will be able to do things over there. Let me treat you in the main building. Take my hand, little one." Janel said with a calm voice.

"Thank you." Liem said. He was relieved when he changed his direction and headed to the main hall of his parents' residence. Liem's hand found Janel's as he quivered with fear.

"Eeeek, please no!" a young voice cried. That shriek sounded like Cearir. Leilanna had been prone to hitting them in sensitive places. She must have found them already. Another shriek was heard. His back straightened.

"You are scared. Why don't we talk?" Janel said, picking up the fear in the young boy. The door to the main room opened, and he guided Liem in. Janel noted that Liem seemed to be intimidated to be in the room. "Sit down, and we'll fix your outside wound first", Janel said in a calm voice as he sat his pack down and opened it. He pulled antiseptic out of his bag and started his work by cleaning the wound. He flooded the wound with stem gel and hoovered the activator over the wound. The flesh mended together and healed as Janel waited for the boy to talk. He thought the boy was probably aware that he was more than just a regular doctor due to the circumstances and put together that he was here to treat his mother. "There we go, all better." Janel smiled. "So let's talk quickly."

"Doctor, my sister has been very affected by what happened to my Mother. She is hurting me and my brothers and my Matri will not stop her. Can you help her?" Liem looked up into his eyes, his green eyes welling with tears. Janel felt his heart stir. He knew the small boy had not seen his parents for a while, since his mother was under treatment. It was damaging for a small child who did not understand. Violent outbursts could come from the rejection of their parents. They were also at an age where their brains were developing and hormones were also a factor. He could attribute a session to assessing their health based on these concerns.

"I understand it is difficult for you and your siblings, it is difficult to deal with loss and the fact that your mother has not been in the proper mindset to see you," Janel said sadly. Grief and infant loss were difficult, healing from it could take time. It would have an impact on everyone in the clan as it did small families. When Janel had lost his own Father in an industrial accident it took his own Father and brothers a long time to heal. It surprised him when he learned about the familial structures that Alphem-level boys had. They did not have glorious and fanciful lives, he thought.

"She hurts us." Liem said. His eyes watered. He could gently talk to the boy now. Even though he was in a lower class. His specialty came in high demand. If he was being helpful, the punishment would be negligible. Matriarch Allari favored him. He could risk it.

Clan Allari was flexible enough to offer him the environment to work on this niche research. However, he had to be careful in the way he presented his research. He had become successful in being careful. Janel sighed and looked at Liem. He lowered his voice to a whisper. Being caught talking about the heir, as supportive as the Allari were, could be dangerous for him. Allurai had taken time off from business and her political work. Her spouses were busy and not faring well in various ways. Especially Reye, he had self-harmed today.

"It is unfair that your parents can not speak to you. It must make it really hard to understand what is happening and how you can help," Janel whispered. " I cannot see your sister to help her learn to cope without her consent. Or your Mother's consent. I could be harmed. You know about the tools your parents have?" Janel continued quietly. Liem gave a sad nod. Janel's guilt started to flood his heart. Janel paused. He finally raised his voice. " I can help you and your brothers if you need help coping. All you have to do is contact me. Can you open your Interface? I will show where my information is so you can save it and contact me when you need help coping or need to talk." Janel said. Liem's sad little face grew a little brighter, knowing that they could at least talk to someone about it.

"Really?" Liem asked. The boy was really cute. Janel wanted to ruffle the hair on top of his head like his own Fathers did to him.

"Really," Janel said. He opened his interface and put it into public use and viewing mode. Janel smiled and typed in his personal identification code as it was quicker than searching through the database. Janel's information is populated on his screen. "Thank you, Doctor Janel." Liem said gratefully. He did not like to say the numbers behind most male names after his history lesson. The numbers behind their names were basically clan names, but they were fallen clans that were left without Matriarchs.

'What an oddly low number. I wonder what that means?' Liem thought. He found designations unfair. They still had parents and siblings like he did. Their families were just smaller and lived differently. Liem looked at Janel's extensive credentials with wonder. He was more educated than Grand Matri's spouse Levri, who did his extra lessons with him now.

"Ooh." Liem said, looking at his education. Janel laughed and was caught off by the boy's impressed look. "You are very smart. That is really wonderful, I hope I can be like you someday." Liem said excitedly, looking at a new hero.

"You could probably go farther. You are a very smart boy. You could try studying in the Inter-Provincial school system, you could travel to distant locations for long times", Janel said quietly. The sound of a door opening in the distance rattled Liem. Janel kept a confident look on his face, he knew that the Bitas in surveillance would not have cared for something as tedious as the interaction between the two. It was unlikely to be Allurai. Janel packed up his kit slowly.

"Alright Alphem Liem Allari, does the wound feel better?" Janel said as a courtesy to inform the Allari Spouse in the hallway that Liem was there and their purpose in the room. Liem nodded, understanding Doctor Janel's reason for asking suddenly. Liem noticed the tense look on the man's face. He hoped that he would never make people feel this uncomfortable.

 "Yes, it feels like nothing happened at all." Liem said nervously. The tired slap sound of bare feet against tiles in the hall from the bedchamber continued towards them. Janel heaved a sigh of relief once he saw Dorien walking in the hallway. If it was anyone from the other Allari spousal group there might have been a mild punishment. Liem looked at the tired look on his father's face and changed to a more alert look. The normally shaved face had a thick stubble covering it. 

 "Son," Dorien said in a slightly emotional tone. Liem stood nervously. Dorien's red eyes watered at his son's body language. "Uh, do not be afraid. My little baby." Dorien said, while motioning his son to come over. He had grown up since he last saw him. How long had it been? Weeks? Dorien's heart ached at Liem's reluctance. He found himself walking forward. "That must have stung." Dorien looked at the blood trail left on Liem's leg. Liem nodded morosely. 

"He has been very brave and honorable. I can see why the Allari are so proud of him" Janel said.

"Can Father hug you?" Dorien asked, with a whimper. Liem nodded shyly and nervously. Liem felt his father tightly embrace him. It felt relieving to feel the warmth of love. Grand Matri and her spousal group cared for them, they did not quite love him like his father did. Dorien's back shook as he silently cried and held him. The weight of his absence and the situation weighed on him heavily. Janel had turned around, it would be hard for Dorien to see the children because of Allurai's current emotional state, but he could be of help. "Oh my poor boy. Are you alright?" Dorien cupped his face. Liem looked at the red-rimmed teary eyes of his father. Tears built up in his own.

"Alphem Liem Allari, remember to contact me about that health issue, I can let your father know so he can come with you and see me in my office afterward." Janel said. Understanding the implication, Dorien looked up, tears streaming from his eyes and gave Janel an appreciative glance. 

"Yes, please do let me know," Dorien said in a happy and appreciative tone as he patted his sons back in a comforting manner. "Very helpful, Janel 000029. You will see an additional 2500 social credits in your account for your excellent assistance," Dorien said quietly. Liem felt badly for Janel when he heard the conversation outside his father's embrace, but at least it had turned into an advantage for him. 

Janel had endless certifications and was talked down to by Alphem like his father, like he was just seeking favor or reward from his superiors. He buried himself further in the comfort of his father's embrace. Glad that Janel and he were not in trouble like Matri said they would be if they entered the main hall. Surely Jonys or Cearir would be in a better mood later knowing that they could see Janel and possibly their own father. However, they would still have to live with Leilanna to deal with afterward.

"I will be going off to Sacred Tree then. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require me. I will see you tomorrow at the same time." Janel said to both of them. He extricated himself from the room quickly. 

"Father" Liem mewed. Liem snuggled into his father, afraid as Doctor Janel left that his father would leave too. Dorien felt a hot pool of tears soak his tunic as Liem nestled his head into his shoulder. He patted his back in a soothing way. Liem was normally veiled about his emotions, he was shocked that he was emotional. He had grown up too quickly as the eldest son of the family. Many males go years without seeing a sister, some never do. He lived a life as a shadow. His birth was seen as a footnote to Leilanna's existence. He had felt so much empathy for his son, but he could not show it or help him. He had the briefest of moments with his son. Dorien took the opportunity presented to him. He snuggled his son

"I have missed you my son, you have grown. How is it?" Dorien asked, pausing insecurely between every word. 

"When can we come home?" Liem said in a quiet, desperate whisper.

"Allurai is getting better, it might be a few more days." Dorien said. Liam looked downcast when he pulled away from his Father, he bit his lip, emotion overtaking him. 

"Leilanna is hitting and biting us. She comes and finds us every day. Grand Matri has no mercy and will not tell her to stop. I think Leilanna is having a hard time without Mother." Liem whimpered. Liem stood back and pulled on his tunic to show him all the bruises from his sister punching and pinching him.

"Son, you know your Mother makes the decisions when it comes to the heirs' health, she will not handle this now." Dorien said as he stroked his son's back. 

"The instructor said today that we can study in intra-provincial learning programs. It can take the ones of us not still in the nursery. Please, Father. Ask her to consider it." Liem begged him. "I do not think I can take it anymore. She keeps hitting and touching us inappropriately. Who would choose us if it got out?" Liem pleaded desperately. Dorien stiffened. There would be a loss of reputation if that fact was known in social circles. Things like this would be stumbling blocks. 

"I will have to bring it up with your Mother then. Father will try. If you can hold out longer, it would be best. Be smart with your words to that Doctor and go back to your Grand Matri quickly." Dorien said, feeling a pang of guilt. If Allurai or Ilyina heard of the matter spreading outside to the education center and the doctor, it could put the men who were trying to help in precarious situations. Ilyina was not as progressive with men as Allurai was. It did not mean that she would not hesitate to snuff out lives to protect the reputation of the family. 

"I did not say anything, only things about my own health Father. I know better. Can I just stay longer. I will sneak out at night." Liem said as he hung his head. He was

Ilyina Allari was being kind in her own way. However, her continued presence in the Allari Complex, despite handing all duties over to her daughter, was rarely seen as it was considered very outdated. Recently, only Hera Setton had done the same and her family seemed unsettlingly rigid. That was a military family. It was odd, although the two former matriarchs seemed like night and day. It could go as far back as to the distant cultural differences. The Setton's had been in Callor for centuries and had come from Az'Itaba. Some clans still pass down ancient ethnic traditions from prior to the great migration. The Allari women still wore veils. Ilyina Allari took the opportunity to cement herself into the complex after Allurai's illness started interfering with her duties recently. His own mother happily handed off her duties.

"You know you cannot yet. At least not today son. Reye is really unwell and it will not be good if he sees you." Dorien said as he looked at the sullen boy. He took the boy into his arms again so he could not read his expressions. His brows knit.

'What did he mean when he said she was touching them inappropriately? If she was interested in the differences in genders she could simply go and review the images in the learning materials.' Dorien thought. 'Wait, those marks and bruises, she cannot be hurting them in improper areas?' Dorien thought, it felt like a coldness spread through his body. The daughter that he had devoted time to teaching had become cruel already.

"Son, your sister, she is not hurting the places were you would cover with a diaper on an infant is she?" Dorien asked. "It is okay, son." Dorien said as the chill spread.

"Yes." Liem whimpered. "The little ones do not know any better to avoid her." Liem continued. Dorien froze and shook. He hugged his son tightly.

"Dry your eyes. I will talk to her." Dorien said as a sudden flourish of activity outside the windows of the living space snapped Dorien out of his mental trance. Dorien blinked his bloodshot, swollen-rimmed, tired eyes and looked at the movement picking up its space. He squinted, wondering what had happened. Dorien furrowed his brow in confusion as three emergency workers cut through the courtyard with a stretcher. The work that took place in the main tower was primarily administrative, all the laboratories and production took place at other sites. There Dorien's heart thumped as he heard the chime of his interface go off. He felt Liem's spine stiffen and a small gasp escape from his tiny hands. They were caught, apparently.

"Mother." Liem said, his eyes widening. She stood in front of him. She did not have any cosmetics on, her skin was pale and sallow. His mother's hair was a mess. His normally vibrantly beautiful looking mother looked ill.

"Liem, is that you, my son?" Allurai said breathlessly, rubbing her eyes as she walked into the living space in a hurry, followed by Reye and Dareem. Dorien tensed briefly at her voice and relaxed. Reye hid the pink and shiny new flesh on his wrists with long sleeves thankfully. The child might not have even been his. Rai had not tested the child. There was no reason. It was a sad event for the family. Reye was making it harder on her.

'Maybe today was the day Rai would take a step back out into the world' thought Dorien. Dorien knew seeing Liem made his heart ache. Maybe his tears reached her too?. Liem wiped his eyes.

"I missed you so much Mother" Liem said in a tiny voice, he was not supposed to be here. "I'm sorry I came. I could not help it. I needed my Mother." Liem said as he hung his head.

"Come," Allurai said as she straightened her askew clothing, trying to look less bedraggled. Liem stared at his mother, confused and anxious about the sudden appearance of his fathers. Dareem gave him a kind smile, which comforted him.

"What is it, Allurai?" Dorien said as he turned to look at Allurai's nervous-looking face.

"Something is wrong with Ilyina." Allurai said, her voice wavering with emotion. Liem watched his mother wide eyed and shaking. He turned to see his Grand Matri's Bind standing outside.

"No, no, no. " Allurai started to shake and break down.

'What was wrong? Was he in trouble since he was late for the meal?' Liem thought, unaware of the bustle of activity in the courtyard.

"Rai. It is okay, breathe." Dareem said.

"Oh, no." Allurai said. "I cannot do this." Allurai cried. "Not now." she finished. Dorien walked to her and took her hand comfortingly and stroked her palm.

"Calm down my Beauty. Let us go and see if we can help? Your Fathers must be scared," Dorien said. Allurai and the group went through the automatic glass doors that opened up to the shared courtyards and gardens.

Liem parted from Allurai. Dorien grasped one of his hands reassuringly as he did when he was younger. Liem and Dorien followed the group out. Liem's mind ran through multiple scenarios. Allurai picked up her pace as she ran along the path. The group of men kept their pace with her, none of them daring to run ahead of her.

"No. No. No." Allurai said, in a sad voice. They reached Ilyina's Courtyard. Gentle tears fell down her own Father's face as he did his best to mind the children. Ilyina was being loaded in on a stretcher.

"It was sudden. It happened in the bathroom." Linke, one of her mothers spousal partners said to her. The man was young enough to be her brother.

"Will she be able to recover?" Allurai asked. Linke shook his head,

"She is already gone. We will know more after the scan. She said she had been feeling tired and dizzy today. But she has been stressed lately," Linke said with a grim look on his face. Allurai began to sob.

"Liem, take your brothers to your rooms to study." Dorien said as he released his tiny hand. Liem's back stiffened at her sob. Liem's shoulders hung as he realized that Ilyina was dead and not sick. A wave of hopelessness hit him. He had a feeling it was going to get worse for them. He looked at his younger brothers, who were busy wrangling his youngest brother Seles, and sighed dejectedly. Dorien noticed the difference in his son.

"What we talked about earlier, Liem, Father will definitely make arrangements for the three of you," Dorien said. Liem straightened and in somewhat of a more cooperative manner went to direct his younger brothers.

"Jonys, Cearir" Liem said in a low voice as he explained. "We are going home for now. Fathers are busy, but I spoke to my Father, and we might be able to go. Be good and follow." Liem said as he began to guide the children home.

"I saw Matri fall earlier, but I did not say anything"' Jonys whispered as they walked. Liem shuddered and gripped Cearir's hand tight. Being sent away could not come any sooner. The boys were starting to lose themselves.

"You did not, you did not see that," Liem said. "Do not worry Cearir, it is just a joke. But since Matri did fall you cannot say that Jonys said it." Liem assured the small toddler.

"I was hoping something bad would happen so we could finally go home," Jonys quietly finished. Jonys needed a lot of help. Could Leilanna's cruelty just be a reaction to all the pressure they were under as well? Jonys's inaction had killed Grand Matri.

"Do not ever tell anyone else what you told me and never do that again." Liem said in a quiet stern voice. "If someone finds out, you will be dead." Liem said, a tear falling from his already red rimmed eyes.

"Sometimes I wish I was dead, Liem," Cearir said as tears dripped from his eyes. Liem sobbed. It was for a culmination of reasons. He hated that he felt the same way too at times. He was just a toddler, he was four.

'Life will get better, life will get better, life will just get better from here on in.' Liem repeated mentally. Over and over. Trying to soothe himself.