MTLNOVEL Chapter 121 - Hope you can live up to that
Bai Yu carefully lay down beside YouYu, moving with the utmost gentleness. She turned her gaze to the ceiling.
For a while, she simply stared at it, lost in thought. Then, she shifted, turning her head to look at the “sleeping” YouYu.
“YouYu…”
Under the soft glow of moonlight, his face appeared serene. Bai Yu whispered his name.
“……”
When he gave no response, she let out a quiet breath of relief. Slowly, she turned her body, facing him completely.
Then…
With careful movements, she extended both hands, reaching for YouYu’s arm.
Gently, she wrapped herself around it, resting her forehead against him.
“……”
“Sorry, YouYu.”
“Just this once… let me be ‘selfish’…”
She murmured those inexplicable words. And after confirming that he was sound asleep—
She could no longer suppress the emotions that had been weighing on her heart ever since he disappeared.
Tears began to fall, drop by drop, trailing silently down her face.
But there was no sound—only tears.
Because… Bai Yu had chosen to replace those sounds with something else.
“……”
“YouYu…”
Feeling the warm streams flowing from her eyes, she whispered softly.
“There are so many things… I wish I could tell you. But knowing that you’ve lost your memories… I can’t bring myself to say them.”
“Because those words… probably wouldn’t be very kind.”
“After all… what I really want to say is mostly just ‘complaints.'”
“I know I have no right to complain. I have no qualifications to say those things to you.”
“But… just this once, let me be selfish.”
“……”
Still murmuring to herself, Bai Yu lifted her head and gazed at YouYu’s sleeping face.
And just as she had said—she began to “complain” to him.
“YouYu… you probably don’t know, don’t remember anymore, do you? All those things we did together, all those words we shared… they were so wonderful, so unforgettable.”
“But after you disappeared, those memories became daggers lodged deep in our hearts… No matter how much we wanted to forget, we couldn’t.”
“During that time… it wasn’t just WuYue. I was hurting too… so much.”
“WuYue… she blames herself constantly. She keeps wondering why she wasn’t strong enough, why she couldn’t save you… Every time we meet, whenever we talk about you, she always says things like that.”
“But… she’s already done so much. She picked herself back up, she gained new strength… If it weren’t for the fact that no one expected that Ouja had another form, maybe… maybe we really could have saved you.”
“But I was different.”
“From beginning to end, I was completely useless.”
Her support had come too late.
And in their second battle against Ouja—
She was nothing but a burden.
She had even held WuYue back.
And that… had led to their failure. To YouYu’s “death.”
If not for this moment—if she hadn’t been able to see him again, to have him so close by—
Then perhaps, she would have spent the rest of her life shackled by “irreversible regret.”
“You might get angry when you hear this. Maybe you’ll even find it laughable.”
“But back then… after you ‘died,’ I actually had a thought—”
“If I had died at Ouja’s hands that day… would things have turned out differently?”
“After all… if I had died instead of you…”
“Then maybe… this wouldn’t have happened.”
She wouldn’t have had to carry this guilt, this regret, this unbearable unease, dragging herself forward day after day.
Back then, those feelings had consumed her.
Every time she saw WuYue, she would be reminded of YouYu’s “death” before their very eyes.
And those emotions… would surface once more, tormenting her.
She had never shown it outwardly.
But it hurt.
No matter how hard she tried to convince herself to find a way to atone—it was never enough.
Because YouYu was already “gone.”
All she could do was accept it. Accept that heavy, irreversible truth, and carry it with her as she kept moving forward.
To live within the confines of “irreversible regret.”
“……”
“I guess… that’s all I wanted to say.”
She didn’t want to wake YouYu.
So, after a brief silence, Bai Yu wiped away her tears.
She buried her head against his arm once more.
And as a long-lost sense of peace settled over her, exhaustion crept in.
Drowsily, her voice trailed off.
“YouYu… I probably won’t have another chance to talk to you like this. This is the only time I’ll be selfish, so don’t worry.”
“Besides… I think… I already feel a lot better now.”
“……”
“So, YouYu.”
“For the last time—please listen to me.”
“For you… I’ll do anything.”
Whether it was his bond with WuYue—
Or his connection to Liu Meng—
If YouYu needed her—
Then no matter what means she had to use, she would help him.
Even if it meant “sacrificing” herself in some way, she wouldn’t hesitate. She wouldn’t complain.
Because… she had already failed him too many times.
She had let him down far too much.
If giving everything she had—even her own life—could make up for it—
Then perhaps she could finally rid herself of that suffocating unease.
Perhaps she could return to those days when life was “beautiful and real.”
Even if it meant truly offering up her life—
It wouldn’t matter.
So…
“If that Ouja comes for you again—”
“I will help you… kill him.”
“……”
With those final words, Bai Yu, unable to hold on any longer, leaned against YouYu’s arm and drifted into sleep.
Her face, once tight with pain, had softened into an expression of peaceful tranquility—just like in the distant past.
“……”
Then, about ten minutes later—
The “sleeping” YouYu slowly opened his eyes.
He turned his head, glancing at the girl beside him.
Watching Bai Yu, who was still clutching his arm, now fast asleep, YouYu remained silent for a long while.
Then, quietly, he pulled the blanket over her, letting more of it cover her side while leaving part of himself exposed.
“……”
“I think I understand now…”
Staring at her sleeping face, he recalled the words she had just spoken.
His voice carried a subtle shift—a trace of intrigue, a hint of anticipation.
“Well then… I hope you can live up to that.”