Reborn as the Iron Queen: Love and Gunpowder in the Civil War

Eleanor is hanging from the top of a cooling tower of menstrual blood as the ASIC miner embedded in her vagina frantically calculates the hash of the Matriarchal Constitution.The CSA-60 burrows out of the folds of her cervix, the baby's umbilical cord wrapped around the Bitcoin Genesis block, "Mom...51% of the entire network's arithmetic power is attacking your uterus's consensus mechanism! "

"Then let them taste true decentralization!" She ripped open her abdominal shield to reveal a boiling pool of menstrual blood. The quantum state projection of Morgan Tycoon sardonically laughed on the blockchain, "Your Matriarchy nodes are obsolete...the nodes of the entire network are now my testicular private keys!"

Suddenly, the wombs of all the matriarchy advocates began to convulse in synchronization. Their menstruation miners spewed out error codes, and the blockchain browser displayed: the matriarchy chain had forked, and the new chain was named "Morgan's Testicle Chain".

"Surprise?" Morgan's holographic finger plugs into Eleanor's miner interface, "You taught me that - the essence of power is the 51% attack!"

As the first Mother Power node collapses, CSA-61 rips through the Merkel Tree of the Morgan Chain. The baby's mechanical pupil reflects the bloody UTXO pool, "Mom...detected his testicle private key tampering with the reproductive rights transaction log!"

Eleanor converts the dilator into a quantum computer and inserts it into the Morgan Chain's Genesis block. The menstrual blood flowing from her vagina suddenly turns into consensus algorithm poison: "Remember this lesson, my dear - never let a woman master elliptic curve encryption!"

Suddenly, the uterus miners of all female miners start smoking. Their ovaries overheat alarms and their menstrual blood coolant is replaced with Morgan's sperm lubricant. "That's the price of decentralization!" The Morgan chain's block rewards explode in the air, spilling not bitcoins but frozen egg futures.

CSA-62 leaps out of the burning wreckage of the miner, holding a delivery clamp modified by a zero-knowledge proof, "Mom...a hard fork abortion needs to be performed immediately!"

"No, be more thorough." Eleanor rips out her fallopian tubes and plugs them into the Morgan Chain's P2P network, "Let's play a new game - Uterine Flash Loan Attack!"

When the Morgan Chain reaches 99% of its arithmetic, Eleanor broadcasts the Private Key Execution live in the Blockchain Courtroom.CSA-63 stakes the Morgan Tyrant's Quantum Testicles to the Smart Contract Guillotine: "In accordance with Article 2140 of the Chained Constitution...the Private Key is sentenced to be permanently destroyed!"

"You wouldn't dare!" Morgan's holographic projection struggles in the ethereum virtual machine, "My testicle private key controls 80% of the world's stablecoins!"

Eleanor sneered and activated the plasma cutter. The moment the blade falls, all the blocks of Morgan's chain suddenly self-destruct, and the hashes spewing from the blood-mining pool form a new consensus, "From now on... every block must be signed with cervical mucus!"

Suddenly, CSA-64 is born from the dust of the chain. The baby holds an umbilical cord transformed by the Uniswap liquidity pool, "Mom...Morgan wreckage detected being reconfigured into a DAO attack weapon!"

As the old chain completely disintegrates, Eleanor launches the new chain on the ruins of the menstrual blood miner.The mechanical placenta of CSA-65 indicates that the Vagina Chain is now live, and that the Genesis Block = Morgan's Testicle Wreckage.

"The consensus rules are simple." She inserted the dilator into the star chain satellite, "Each block must contain 1 milliliter of menstrual blood...and each transaction requires zero proof of knowledge of the uterine folds."

Suddenly, the mining machines of women across the globe began to resonate. Their cervical mucus automatically generates anti-quantum keys, and ovarian temperatures synchronize to regulate PoS pledge ratios. The remnants of Morgan Chain's arithmetic tremble before the vagina chain, "This...this isn't a blockchain...it's the tyranny of the womb!"

"You're right." Eleanor stomped on the last of Morgan's testicle chips, "The true meaning of Web 3.0 is - every woman is her own creation node!"

Three hundred miles away, CSA-66 was transforming Morgan's brain into a prophecy machine. Brain synapses blink with a new chain announcement that gives all men a sharp pain in the lower body: warning: sperm not verified by vaginal chain detected...about to initiate a global castration hard fork.