Rent a girlfriend: Reincarnated as a responsible menace.

"Hello there my little degenerate chipmunks. Today we have a very special guest who is widely known in Twitcast and UTube."

"Greetings Koronemaru"

She returns the gesture with a smile and replies, "Greetings to you too Love Guru and all the ex simps."

Now you would be thinking, when did I meet her.

Well it all started 5 days ago.

Flashback:

"Dream on, Dream on, Dream on AHHHHHH- "

Not that one you idiot.

Flashback: (correct one;)

It was a monday night. My friends had there own things to do, so I was just in the balcony with my chilled beer.

True inner peace.

But then. A voice came 

"Love guru?"

I turned to look at... wait let me think... Gremlin no.2? That doesn't sound right.

Wait I know, Yaemaniac!!!

"Yes?"

"It really is you. I'm Mini Yaemori but you might know me as Koronemaru" She replies while giving a hand for a shake.

By standing over the railings and stretching herself like Mr. Spag- I mean Mr. Fantastic.

I humor her, "I do remember you. I've seen your clips of failing to get the gundam skin in codm. Who even plays that now?"

"Hey! First of all I did get the skin. Secondly CODM is goated as hell"

"COD Warzone is clearly the better one"

"It doesn't have as much skins to flex in, and there servers probably gonna be dead soon"

"Hmm you've got a point. Activision is notorious for shutting down servers for there best games"

"Like the Transformers WFC and FOC"

"Don't get me started on those two. I could literally rant for two straight days for how frustrated I am for the lack of a good transformer game"

"The last good transformer game is literally older than a decade now."

30 Minutes Later:

"Oh, before I forget my friend Ruka actually watches you quite a lot. She would really like if you could meet her one day"

"Wait, The Date Devil is my FAN! Of course I would meet her."

"She has not appeared that much in my streams. She's more on 'Men of Culture'. Are you a core fan?"

"I'm 'Betalikescopes' too"

[AN: 'Betalikescopes' is not an actual channel but 'Betalikescoping' is. He makes Ben 10 content, though he's deactive these days. Just heads up, if someone wanted to check it out.]

"Wait, the guy who makes Metal Gear memes"

"You watch my content"

"Of course, there are hardly anyone who actually appreciates MGR"

After that we nerded out once again until-

"You're quite a nice company you know. How about we join streams sometimes?"

"Sure why not?"

Flashback End:

And this is how things spiraled to this stage.

"So ready to burn some fragile egos and brain damaging flirting techniques Ruka-lite?"

"I was born ready, you rejected yakuza"

"So lets start rating your worst dates chat. Cause there's nothing that causes me more joy than taking enlightenment from destroyed diginities"

Entry #1: "He brought his mom on the date. She ordered for both of us."

"...Is this for real. That's not a date sister. It's a hostage situation"

"Little man wanted to get married and adopted at the same time"

"The last time I went out with my parents into a restaurant was when I was 5 tho"

"That's why the 'little man' Kazuya!"

Entry #2: "She said, I reminded her of her ex. Then cried during the food order"

This time Mini answered, "I'd fake a call and run from there. Like actually as fast as I could"

"Me too, 'You remind me of my ex' is just 'I'm not over them' in denial or jealousy. I suggest if you still have plans with her, then end those quickly!"

"True, helping others is fine, but there are some things that one have to do by themselves only, and getting over your ex in a healthy way is something only she can do"

Entry #3: "She spent the entire time facetime with her dog. Not kidding. His name's Boba"

Mini teasingly answered, "Then Boba had more game than you bro."

"Boba was the emotional support, and you were the guy footing the bill."

Mini this time seriously said, "Caring about your pets is fine thing, but one needs to set there priorities. If they can't, then they are not ready to be in a relationship"

"Or you'll just end up frustrating your partner, and in turn make you have a bad day, which no one wants"

Entry #6: "He brought a PowerPoint presentation on why his ex was the villain."

Silence.

Then Mini takes a little breath and says, "Plus 10 for the effort. Then minus 10 for social awareness"

"Therapy is cheaper than a projector too."

Entry #7: "My friend came in between our date, and my girlfriend and he talked about Naruto for thirty whole minutes"

"Hmm, I guess its not th-"

"Come from your real account Umi"

"You know him?"

"I'm that friend, and no we didn't talk for 30 minutes, only 5 and then took my leave like a good friend"

#"He's lying, my girlfriend can vouch for me"

#"Stop lying Umi! We only talked for like 4 minutes, isn't Kazuya your friend, don't you trust him"

#"Ofc I do Yuki."

"Get a private chat you IDIOTS!!!"

"No wait... " 

I look at her questioningly, then she says "...let them cook"

30 minutes later:

After the fiasco with Umi and Yuki ended, we did some more takes on the submissions until somehow... we started role playing as one of the submissions.

Mini staring in my soul, "So... where were you at 10:43 pm yesterday?"

I stared at her right back with the jojo face and said, "Falling asleep to a UTube video 'Why Cats Judge You.'"

"LIES! You reacted to a meme posted by Kana!"

"Got caught in 4K by a jobless woman"

Before Mini could reply back, my phone rang.

"It's Grandma"

"Answer her. Meeting her would be a dream come true" she said with a grin.

"But you are not meeting her. It's a call silly"

I said that but I still complied.

"Kazuya, I like this girl. She talks she's ready to fight a dentist"

"Lets go to the Karaoke together Granny. I'll bring the glitter mic"

"You got it you little menace"

"HEY! I'm the menace you fool. And grandma"

"Granny, what's your opinion on guys who say 'I'm a nice guy'?"

"They are lying my kit, They're just unpaid therapist, who've no degrees. Only anime wallpapers."

A Few minutes later:

"Mini, this stream's gonna break records."

"We should start a podcast. 'The Emotional Damage Hotline.'"

"Hmm, plausible I think you and grandma together would be a good combo"

We were gonna continue when suddenly.

Knock

A single knock? Definitely Not Ruka then.

I opened the door to see.

"Hey Kazuchi having fun without me"

"Oh, I didn't thought you would coming over you hairless bear" I say but let Kibe in.

"So you're Koronemaru"

Kibe knew I was doing a collab with her today, but had not actually met her in person.

"You have even bigger forehead than I thought you had Mr.Reliable"

"Before you two start it off, what's the matter Kibe, you don't come in without reason in between streams"

"Well there's this nice new american joint, which I wanted to try so I did a drive by. Thought you'd be hungry, so got for you too. Oh and didn't forget about you too Yaemori"

""You're the best guy Kibe/ You truly are Mr. Reliable""

We got the food up from the package, to see good and nice chicken nuggets and a good looking burger and... Beer?

Mini looked up to him and "I thought of you as a friendly innocent man but you... you... you're even better than that."

"Agreed"

"Anything for the men of culture"

"Uhh about that, there are literally equal amount of girls in Men of Culture, if we include Mini, shouldn't we like change it"

"It's not about the name Kazuchi, it's about the message"

"True, and I really don't mind"

...What a weird bunch I've got.

Wouldn't trade them for anything.