Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu web novel

　Having asked a question that got to the heart of the matter, Subaru realized his position.

　The moment he spat out the question, and it undoubtedly vibrated Garfiel's eardrums, the blond young man's expression changed. And, seeing this, a momentary blank appeared in Subaru's mind.

　Always wary of Subaru, the corners of his eyes were raised sharply, a fearless face. Garfiel maintained a strong exterior and never showed signs of weakness.

　His expression now clearly distorted.

　Her expression resembled that of a child who had had something important he had been hiding revealed and was about to burst into tears.

"You...what did you just say?"

　However, that fleeting expression only lasted for a moment.

　Garfiel shut his eyes tightly for a moment, then chattered his teeth as if to drown out any signs of weakness, and glared at Subaru with an almost demonic pressure emanating from his entire body.

　The calm, even somewhat lonely, atmosphere that had been flowing through the forest suddenly changed. Subaru felt goosebumps crawl up his skin as he was glared at.

　All of this was due to Subaru's body taking the initiative in expressing the danger it felt. And that excessive reaction,

"You seem pretty murderous."

　This was more than enough evidence to convince Subaru that it would be inconvenient for ``that'' to be mentioned.

　Subaru mutters, and the silent Garfiel's eyes grow more menacing.

　Not even a glimpse of Setsuna's weakness was evident, and the gaze that now glared at Subaru exuded the sharpness of a blade, as if he was looking at an object of hatred.

　Subaru was being showered with deadly gazes, and his whole body was still sending out warning signals. However, Subaru consciously ignored them, and continued to maintain his nonchalant attitude.

"Don't make me repeat myself. I saw a child who looked just like Lewes wandering around the Sanctuary. I'm sure it wasn't Lewes."

"...I don't understand what you're saying. I just saw an old woman wandering around. If she was wandering around in the middle of the night then that would be a different problem, but that's a different story."

"--Two people."

"Huh?"

　Garfiel tried to give a logical response to Subaru's argument, but Subaru, as if to crush his earnest support, raised two fingers of his outstretched right hand,

"What I saw were two identical Lewes acting at the same time. Even if one of them was Lewes, the other one... I wonder who it was--"

　—-As soon as he had spoken, Subaru realized that he had lost track of up and down in the world.

"--Argh!"

　My back was slammed into something hard, and a cry of agony was squeezed out of my lungs, squeezing the oxygen out of my lungs.

　What he felt on his back was a rough, thick sensation - he was being pressed against the trunk of a tree with considerable force. Moreover, his body was lifted off the ground so that Subaru couldn't escape, and his posture was parallel to the ground.

　The hand placed on the center of Subaru's stomach became the fulcrum, and Subaru's body was kept suspended in the air. Garfiel managed to do so with his sense of balance and strength, and as he understood the situation, he glared at Subaru from close up,

"--Where did you see that, hey?"

"Nowhere... in the forest..."

"No, that can't be possible. You know how tense we are to make sure that's not the case. Otherwise, we wouldn't have any excuses from a guy like you who has a keen nose for unnecessary things."

　The pressure from the palm of his hand increased, and Subaru's mouth started drooling as the pressure squeezed even the contents of his stomach. He struggled and squirmed, but he didn't even budge.

　It looks just like a pinned-down specimen of an insect. It's scary to imagine.

"If you keep going like this, your stomach and back will stick together. Before that happens, I want you to tell me the truth."

　With a sadistic smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, Garfiel increased the pressure of his palm as if to teach Subaru's body.

　The more he felt that the outcome he was saying was no joke, the more the pressure began to strain his bones and internal organs. Subaru gasped, letting out painful breaths.

"Well... it depends on your attitude..."

"Isn't that interesting? You bastard, in this situation you still think you're on an equal footing with me? I told you from the start that that was just arrogance."

"If you just get rid of me here without listening to anything, it won't solve anything."

"..."

　Subaru saw that Garfiel was beginning to listen carefully to what he was saying as he formed his words piece by piece.

　--To Subaru, Garfiel's harsh reaction was half expected and half unexpected.

　In all the loops up to now, the only time Subaru had witnessed a duplicate of Lewes - a "Lewes Clone" - was during the final battle with the witch in the previous loop.

　Other than that, nothing that could have led one to suspect the existence of clones, let alone see them, happened in Sanctuary. Looking back at my memories now, there are some scenes that could have been resolved if we were to assume that clones existed, but I will leave that out for now.

　In any case, the clones were well hidden within the "Sanctuary."

　There were at least twenty of them, and it's hard to imagine that Garfiel alone would have hidden them within Sanctuary. This is most likely a shared understanding among the residents of Sanctuary.

　The only ones on our side who knew about it were Roswaal and Ram, though I'm not sure which of them applies, but that's about it.

　Either way, it was something that I thought might anger him if I spoke it out loud. The fact that this had been confirmed was half what I had expected.

　And if it was unexpected...

"...You're crazy, bastard."

　The moment Garfiel spat out that remark, the hold on Subaru's body was released.

"Whoa!" he cried out in surprise, and without even a chance to defend himself, Subaru fell to the ground. He rolled around, tasting grass and earth in his mouth, then spat out gravel as he got up and glared at Garfiel.

"Don't let go of my hand so suddenly, it might scare him."

"Shut up, madman. No joke. You were testing me, weren't you?"

"Have you tried it?"

　Subaru tilted his head in confusion, and Garfiel clicked his tongue in annoyance.

　He glared down at Subaru, who was pretending not to notice,

"You said that right now while thinking that you might be killed by me."

"..."

　--What Subaru hadn't expected was that Garfiel hadn't immediately tried to kill him.

　Thus, I was given a chance to speak even after having angered someone.

　This meant that Subaru had "considered the possibility of dying before he spoke," and Garfiel, sensing this, kicked the dirt violently,

"I'm not joking. That bastard who puts his life on the line and acts like it's nothing special is crazy, what else can you do but call him crazy? It's disgusting."

"It hurts to hear you say that... but it's not like I'm doing something like that casually."

　Laughing weakly at Garfiel's words, Subaru scratches his head.

　As he moved his fingers, he noticed a slight tremor still running through them.

　Even now, Garfiel had stopped torturing Subaru, but he still had not let up even an ounce of the hostility he felt towards Subaru.

　This means that the body is still screaming in primal fear, and the pain that feels as if your very organs are being squeezed continues.

　Of course. He had deliberately enraged Garfiel and was now standing directly in front of him.

　This meant that he had half-accepted the prospect of coming face to face with the great golden tiger that had rampaged through the forest at night and massacred many of the villagers.

　Just thinking about being trampled by those fangs, those claws, that fear makes my body and mind tremble.

　But still――

"If my life is all it takes, then the consequences are worth it."

　If the only sacrifice he had to make was to wear down Subaru's heart, then what a bargain it would be.

　It's not often that a happy ending comes so cheaply.

　Subaru's resolve seemed ready to crumble at any moment, but the foundation it stood on was solid and solid, more than enough to support his flimsy self.

　Garfiel must have realized this too, as he wrinkled his nose and made a displeased face.

Subaru: "That bastard with those eyes, I don't have a single good impression of him. So, if it were true, I would have crushed him right away…"

"It's troubling when you do that, so if possible, please be generous and overlook it. It's the same as what we were talking about earlier… so…"

"..."

"Are you willing to answer my questions?"

　As he brushed the dirt off his body, Subaru continued to ask questions.

　Garfiel couldn't help but grimace as the topic he'd supposedly interrupted with violence was brought up again. He looked away from Subaru, who hadn't looked away,

"I didn't mean to say that."

"Is that so? Well, I guess there's no other way."

　Hearing that stubborn, childlike reply, Subaru shrugged and quickly backed down.

　Garfiel looked disappointed by Subaru's reaction.

"You... you wanted to hear it..."

"You don't want to talk, do you? So, even if I try to force it out of you, I don't have enough power, and I don't have enough persuasive power. I could cling to you, but I don't think it's worth the risk, so I'll put it off for now."

"...what"

"Don't give me that strange look, Garfiel. No matter how hard you try to cover it up, I will uncover it. It's necessary."

　Subaru stares straight back at Garfiel, whose face rises as if bounced.

　Their gazes meet, but this time he doesn't seem intimidated. Garfiel's gaze is weaker than before, and Subaru has made up his mind.

"Garfiel. I will definitely expose what you... what you are hiding in Sanctuary. Now that I know I have to, it's absolute."

「...Shut up. If I were to shut your mouth right here and now, then there would be no chance of that 'absolutely' or 'without a doubt', hey.」

"Sorry, but that is absolutely and absolutely necessary. As long as I don't give up, the secret I found out you were hiding won't be a secret anymore. If you want to resent me, resent your own thoughtlessness."

　Not understanding the meaning of Subaru's words, Garfiel's eyes flicker with confusion.

　Naturally, he would not be able to understand the meaning of the word "careless" that was used against him, because it was a fault of his that had not yet occurred.

"...It's probably pointless to talk any more."

　As he watched the silent Garfiel, Subaru concluded the end of his story.

　Garfiel's guard was at its highest, and he was being stubborn. There was no way to ease his mind now, or even in this round.

　From the start, there was almost no chance of clearing this loop, but the thought of being completely crushed like this was something to bear.

"But..."

　--But still, you must endure.

　Now that he has decided to take on the challenge with his own life as the stake, he will have to deal with this sense of loss over and over again in the future.

　I don't think I should ever get used to this pain or forget it.

　When Subaru becomes accustomed to repeated "death" and can no longer sincerely hope for the future that lies beyond, his heart will surely be swallowed up by the shadow, from which he will never be able to return.

"Do you still have the will to stop me, Garfiel?"

"..."

"If it exists, it will just be a detour. It would be better if it didn't exist."

　Even if he were killed here, Subaru would return to the grave he was in just a few hours ago.

　The events that followed would likely have the air of a formality, but even if Garfiel had dragged him out like this, he'd probably be able to get through it safely this time.

　Of course, if it was possible to avoid 『Return by Death』, then that would be the best.

　Garfiel made no response to Subaru's warning.

　Subaru turned his back on him and headed back out of the forest into the Sanctuary. He had to organize his plans for the next day and the things he needed to confirm.

　Even though Subaru had as many chances as he had, that didn't mean he should squander them.

"You..."

　Subaru was about to move away when Garfiel's hushed voice stopped him.

　He stopped in his tracks, but Subaru didn't look back. Garfiel responded,

Subaru: "What on earth do you want to do with this place… with the 『Sanctuary』? What are you trying to do to us, hey?"

"I told you my goal. To save Emilia. I have no intention of harming the Sanctuary or anything. … I have no intention of doing anything to you guys."

　At the very least, I know of the disasters that befall the Sanctuary.

　He wants to save Lewes and the other residents from this disaster, and intends to take action to achieve that goal. It's only natural that he includes Garfiel in that.

　But that's just the end result,

"I'm sure I'll cause you a lot of unpleasant experiences on the way there. I'll apologize in advance for that… Sorry."

"...I don't get it, what are you talking about? Even in that respect, you're just like them in every way."

　Garfiel's attitude was like that of something incomprehensible and eerie, and Subaru resignedly thought that it couldn't be helped.

　I want people to understand, but I don't expect them to understand.

"I don't mean to be jealous of you. From tomorrow onwards, just act normally... It's okay if you can't, but don't get involved. Stay warm tonight and go to bed early. If you want, forget your morning routine and oversleep tomorrow morning. Sometimes you can even go back to sleep---"

　In the middle of saying his final farewell words, Subaru suddenly stopped talking.

　This was because he felt something was off about what he had just said.

　And so, within Subaru, an unexpected connection took shape.

"Is it worth it?"

"...Huh?"

"Anyway, that's it for tonight, Garfiel. I'll definitely take care of your anxieties and worries. So just be patient and wait until then."

"--! You...!"

　Subaru had always looked ahead, not to the present, and Garfiel finally raised his head.

　His face was red with rage, his fangs bared and spit flying.

"You're just looking down on me and listing all these things like you're so great! Who the hell asked you to do something about this? Don't do anything unnecessary! About this place, about those old ladies... nothing! You don't know anything at all..."

"It's because I don't know that I can learn. I think that's why I'm doing this."

"How can you possibly understand when you only know the surface, the superficial layer? You're a scammer who only smiles and talks about dreamy things, and deceives people with pleasant-sounding words."

"――――"

"You don't know what pain or suffering is, so don't talk like you understand――!!"

　Garfiel screams at Subaru, speaking quickly and ramblingly.

　The shouts of abuse disappeared as if sucked into the night forest sky.

　They look down on others, talk and act as if they know everything, and say unnecessary things even though they don't know anything.

　--I see, that's all absolutely true and there's no room for argument whatsoever.

　However,

"...I know."

"――――"

"I know about 'Hell'. --I've already seen it many times."

　If there is such a thing as hell on earth, then it is the world Subaru has seen.

　Subaru had been to the end of the world countless times, and time and time again he had been made to face the hell that made him want to look away, his eyes burned into it and he had been made to face it.

　That is why,

"I'm the only one who knows about Hell. That's why I'm here."

　--That's what I think now.

※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※

　After his heart was torn apart by Garfiel's wailing, Subaru did not return to his bed in the cathedral.

　Normally, I would go to bed and take my time to plan my next steps. In fact, that was what I had been planning until just now.

　There is a reason why I decided to cancel my plans and travel so far.

"...I think it was this way."

　Subaru muttered as he pushed past the overgrown vines with his arms and made his way along the pathless road.

　The moonlight was blocked by the trees, making it hard to see, and the grass that was up to my knees made it hard to keep my footing. The ground was not even at a constant height, and I had to walk while struggling to avoid falling, so my speed naturally slowed down.

"I'm pretty confident in my sense of direction, but my memory is a bit hazy. It's not like I had the time to calmly look around me, so it can't be helped."

　Subaru's words of self-defense were weak, and he looked around his surroundings, groping for a way out.

　Subaru was currently in a forest outside the Sanctuary - but it wasn't the place where he had been talking with Garfiel. He had returned to the Sanctuary once and then entered the forest once more.

　As for the reason behind this――

"At that time, I'm sure Garfiel showed up from this direction."

　Before the loop began - in other words, the story goes back to before the first "Trial" at the tomb.

　On the morning of the day he took the Trial, Subaru accompanied Otto into the tomb to see if he was worthy of taking the Trial.

　As a result, the Tomb accepted Subaru, and that night he was given the opportunity to challenge the Trial and make amends with his past - but that was not the problem.

　That morning, as Subaru and Otto were engaged in their usual banter in front of the tomb, Garfiel appeared from the forest and joined them. He said that he had been carrying out his daily routine of patrolling the Sanctuary.

"I'm intrigued by the timing and the fact that it came out of that place."

　The problem was the timing of his appearance and the location he came from.

　Subaru remembered seeing Garfiel emerge from the bushes beside the tomb and felt a sense of familiarity. Searching his memory, Subaru dug up what had been bothering him and realised it.

　--Beatrice had transported him from the mansion to the "Sanctuary," a mysterious facility.

　When Subaru returned to the Sanctuary from that facility, he had the feeling that the place he emerged from was close to where Garfiel had returned.

　Subaru had guessed that there was something going on at the facility and had entered the forest. He was currently searching the forest at night, looking for a way to the facility.

"A well-trodden path... that means..."

　Seeing that the clearing was connected to the land, Subaru decided that this was evidence that someone was walking through this area regularly. He followed the path into the depths of the forest, and then, feeling excited, he walked quickly - and then the view became brighter,

"...i got you"

　A dilapidated stone building. It turned out that the fossil-like facility, on the verge of collapse, was built deep in the forest, with its back to a rocky area.

　Approaching the building, which was hard to see in the dim light, Subaru glanced over its exterior and tilted his head.

"Hmm, I'm sure this place was in a lot more disrepair last time I saw it..."

　Though it was impossible to hide the building's anniversary, it felt like the state of disrepair was less than Subaru remembered. To put it bluntly, what Subaru had seen was ruins, but the building before him still managed to retain some semblance of being a building.

　That means,

"If I remember correctly, something will happen between now and six days from now that will cause this place to be destroyed... is that right?"

　When I match up my memories with the situation, that's the only thing that could have happened.

　And if that was the case, then it's possible that this place, as Subaru had hoped, was unrelated to some incident occurring in Sanctuary.

　Holding his breath, Subaru carefully suppressed his presence as he turned the handle at the entrance.

　The door slid open with a surprisingly quiet sound, and I stepped inside the building, greeted by a stale smell.

　As usual, the entrance was dilapidated and unkempt with numerous fixtures strewn about. Subaru passed through what appeared to be a waiting room or reception area and headed for his favorite room.

　Passing through the passageway, Subaru came to the door at the very back - the room where Beatrice had teleported him to, with a huge hole so deep it was impossible to see the bottom.

　The moment he opened it, he would be greeted by a trap. With that in mind, Subaru slowly pushed the door open, poking his head in to see what was inside,

"...hey hey"

　The scene that unfolded before my eyes made me cry out uncontrollably.

　The pale light, shining upon his face with diffuse reflections, made Subaru squint his eyes in the brightness as he looked directly at it.

　The room they were aiming for, at the very back of the facility they had arrived at, wasーー,

"Ryuzu-san, is that it...?"

　--It was a crystal that emitted a pale blue glow, with a tiny woman trapped within its enormous mass, the size of a man's arms.